This Is Where I Want To Be

210. Earth

Chris

I had been on Zoreah for months, and I still couldn’t go back to En-gannim. When Soren sent me home, I left immediately. Louis and Michael were there and could handle everything. Louis was going to take over and told us Soren would send them home. So, all we had to do was wait. Louis was on a mission, and I was desperately trying to get a grip on everything that happened… They did not need me. I knew it had to happen at any moment. Juliet would come home.

My father was still happy for me to come back and take my place as the Riphath’s next king. I was doubting again if I should stay… Ira said I proved myself. Only he knew how he came to that conclusion. I didn’t feel like I was worth anything. Selena and Jamal followed us to En-gannim. What was the point? Our relationship meant nothing anymore. Because I couldn’t let go. Juliet and I were really in the same boat.

I had my own house in the origin city. It was a little different than the mud huts we lived in outside, and because there was no more traveling, everyone could begin to make their space their own. We lived on the largest platform up on the mountain. Ira had done wonders to the place. It was flourishing everywhere, with the water supply running through the mountain. With energy and no harsh winters or migrating, it was a whole new world. Not to mention, everyone there would live forever. The population would become a problem again. I would have to sort it out. If we ever ended up there. But for the time being, it was as peaceful as all of Ira’s hopes and dreams. He had come to sit with me a few times. But I was not talking again, staring out into the sky. I was back to being a child. Just one with the patience to sit and wait for time to pass, thinking about how different my life would’ve been if I had grown up there.

Juliet and I had four months together. I had not stayed away like the others. We talked and committed ourselves to each other again. We made love and sealed our relationship with vigor. I saw her belly swell, and then I was there for the birth. It had been a long and complicated delivery that had us all on edge. We had made turns throughout the day to get her to walk around, rub her back, and wipe away her tears. She had asked for me, and I wanted to be there for her, even if it wasn’t my child... When she had come back beaten up and broken. I was the only one that had taken her from Jessy. The only one who stayed with her that night, and then… She almost died… It was too much to see her go through everything… I swiped at the tears that would spring up.

“Chris? You okay?” Silvanus asked, checking up on me like he had done every day for the last few months. I shook my head. I was not okay. “What did he make you watch?”

I hardly wanted to think about it, let alone talk about it, and I was there for two days. “I promised her that in the next thousand years, at some point, we will be happy.” More tears, my shoulders shaking as I tried to hold them back. “I’m finding it hard to be a Riphath at this moment. Almost walking away from her.”

“Not all the commitment in the world can change where you come from.”

My head turned to him. It was true. It was the problem. I didn’t have the obsession gene. The lust. The anger. The drive to do anything. I just wanted to sit. Everything that has happened was always a choice, not an inborn need or fight like theirs. I would’ve walked away and tried to make it work with Selena. And after all that—I felt so stupid. I couldn’t even save her because I had chosen to sleep well and get drugged… I couldn’t understand how Michael did it at all. One moment, full of anger. The next, not caring if she died, and then you would feel horrible that you didn’t submit and bow at her feet.

“Species don’t mix,” Ira’s voice came from behind me. He sat next to Silvanus.

“You keep saying that, but Michael is proof that we do… One day we will figure it out and what will you say then?” Ira didn’t answer, so we sat in silence for a long time before I said, “I want to go back.”

“Where would you go? I don’t mind doing it all again,” Silvanus said, rubbing his hands together.

Ira scoffed. It brought a smile to my face. He didn’t think it was a good idea. “Thank You, Ira. For loving me.”

He stretched out a hand and ruffled my hair, “I should’ve done more. I should’ve taken a chance on the rumor and brought you home. No matter the cost… What would it have mattered if you were human and we made a mistake? Here, you would’ve manifested in a second. The vamps were too in control.”

“I understand your hatred for it all. They used me as a bargaining chip for compliance… I know I can’t go back in time to fix it all... But I want to.”

“Chris… Liam came by.”

“How is she?”

“She’s actually doing well. Considering.”

I was taken aback. I thought she would crumple like I was… But then again, Juliet was probably avoiding it. Not talking. Using sex as a diversion. The thought made me smile, but I was in no way ready to help her and Louis through the conflict that would ensue.

“It’s Marcus Chris.”

I stood up, “What about Marcus?”

***

First, I had to go see why Juliet was doing so well. It was the first time I couldn’t be there for her, and Michael had said he would pick up the slack. I wondered how it went.

I came out in The Tower with a broken Marcus being brought into the medbay. I sat while they did all they could. The doctors checked him and went over him with every machine and device they could think of. Injected him with a few things, and after all that, they took him to the shower and placed him in a chair, letting the water do its work. I heard him fall and stepped over quickly. He needed someone to nurse him. Where was Juliet? “I told her, I didn’t want to see her right now.”

“Oh Marcus…” I picked him up and scrubbed him from head to toe, dried him off, and struggled to get him dressed. “Don’t you have nurses here.”

“Our staff is a bit limited at the moment.”

I chuckled, “How did you get here?”

“I have no idea. Juliet, I suppose.”

“I thought you talked to her.”

“Did I? I don’t know... I need to sleep.”

I placed him on the bed. He held onto my hand, “Don’t go. Please.”

“I won’t. Close your eyes.”

The moment Marcus’s hand relaxed in mine. I sent Juliet a message.

Me { Where are you? }

Juliet { With Michael }

Me { Marcus needs you }

Juliet { The last person Marcus wants to see right now is me. Believe me. I’m not running away because I want to. You were not even there when I came back }

I knew I wasn’t. I guess if I couldn’t face her. How would Marcus cope?

{ I saw what you did to Sita. Not impressed! }

I groaned and was revolted all over, wanting to throw up again. Was Juliet trying to get me to a place where I was so desperate I had no choice? It was one of the reasons I couldn’t face her. What a mess.

I stayed with Marcus till the following day. When he could open his eyes and sit up in the bed, he asked. “Why are you here?”

I had to take a minute. Things seemed off with him. “Just checking in. I’m gonna go. Where will you be?”

“I’m going to my house. For the foreseeable future.”

I nodded and left.

I went upstairs. Kubra and Jessy were in the office. “Oh great! Someone that knows what’s going on,” Kubra said. “We don’t know what to do or where to go.”

“Kubra, I need to talk to you.”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Marcus… There is something wrong with him.”

“Is he forgetful? Foggy and rude.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m sorry to say it. But that’s normal.”

“Normal?”

“There has only been one person in his whole life that has made Marcus… not normal. And I can guarantee you. She is the last person he wants to see.”

“I have no idea what the hell is going on.”

“It’s triggers Chris. Two hundred years of triggers. Why Louis took off. I don’t think it’s something you will ever need to understand.”

“Louis isn’t here?” I said, surprised but also a little relieved. So she came home with no one there and saved Marcus all by herself. How useless was I?

“No… Louis left the day she came back.”

I bobbed my head, “Okay, so how can I help.”

“Juliet said Samuel is in charge for now, but he’s in court meetings all day. Juliet is taking a few personal days. Is there a reason why you’re not there?”

“Triggers… Anyway, then I’ll give you leave. I’m back. You and Jessy can rotate on managing the army base. Three days each until she’s back. Go be with Charlene, Kubra. You earned it… Jessy, I think it’s time you put in a request with the camps for a wife… Juliet has too much on her plate and can’t make anyone fall in love with you… If you do want that connection… Go rescue one from Earth and bring her here… Or look at the other girls who can’t make it in a camp. If you keep waiting for Selena… It’s your choice, but Riphaths are a useless bunch.”

***

Louis

The day Juliet would come home, Soren sent me a message, and it took me an hour to decide if I would disappoint her even more. So I made another knowing mistake and left. I had gone to that road where Chris had lost Carl’s trail. I followed it and searched the area for days. If it were not for blood and skid marks. I would never have found the boy.

I was shot at in the dead of night, “Is that how you treat your friends?”

Carl had run out of the house and thrown his legs around me. The other men had come happily down the steps from the porch. Jacklin soon emerged, leaning against the doorframe. The only feeling she evoked in me was regret. I told Juliet nothing had ever happened between Jacklin and me. Unfortunately, there was one drunken orgie that led to an unexpected encounter. So that lie would also be out in the open.

They all looked worse for wear. The next face was a little more challenging to handle. Lyla had stepped out to see what the commotion was about. When she saw me, she ran back into the house. Carl had by then jumped off and laughed when the little girl stuck her tail between her legs.

“What took you so long?” Carl asked.

“Soren.”

“Yeah… I think there is a lot we need to talk about. We were locked up for four months.” Stunned, I stared at him. They knew nothing. Wouldn’t be able to help us even if we wanted to rescue Earth.

We all moved into the house. “Who’s house is this?”

“Oh, Jacklin drained him the first day,” Carl answered.

“You here to take us back?” Warden asked.

“If you like… Look, Carl. I can’t speak in front of everyone. What are you eating?”

“It’s a farm. So we’re trying to keep it going. There are chickens and cows… Fields with vegetables.”

Lyla came out from her hiding spot. I couldn’t believe that one girl had caused all of it. Or maybe we did. I still couldn’t read anyone. I was happy about it. Once I left, my ability vanished entirely. So I didn’t know what she was thinking. I glanced at Jack; his narrowed eyes were assessing me. Out of everyone, he probably knew me the best. Jack stood and handed me a packet of cigarettes. I almost grabbed it out of his hand. “Where?”

“We go out scouting for supplies… How long?” Jack asked.

“It’s been weeks. I stopped smoking when… Never mind…”

“We tried to leave the area. Ian had blown up pipelines, and it meant no gas—both ways… No electricity, no cooking anymore—only fires,” Carl explained.

“It’s only going to get worse.”

“Will they come and help us,” Lyla asked. I had to do all I could not to get up and kill her. She was precisely like Soren. The arrogance they had coupled with no resolution was the most dangerous character flaws to combine. I stood to my feet in more irritation than I thought I was feeling. Jacklin took Lyla by the arm and ushered her quickly out of the room. I didn’t want to be anywhere near Jacklin. If Juliet knew… She was probably reeling at what she meant to me. Why I lied at all about the one woman I didn’t kill, thinking I was protecting her or something.

“Come, Louis. Let’s take a walk,” Jack said. It was a good idea. I was losing my s-.

The five of us walked down the gravel road while I told them everything that happened from the moment we left them on Earth. “Why didn’t you leave?”

“There is nowhere to go. No way to communicate. We had to leave everything there the day we escaped. Only one gun.” Carl said.

“We also thought that if you and Chris put your noses together, you’d find us,” Jack quipped.

“Yeah, I’m sorry… The war is a little worse than I thought when I told Juliet we should fight… Earth left us to fend for ourselves… I think we have to get you out of here. We’re too close to the compound, and if they can’t teleport—”

“They will start marching,” Jack finished my sentence.

I agreed with him. “Do you guys want to go back to Mirach?” All four shook their heads. I couldn’t read them, but I guessed they were staying for me. “Let’s go back. I’m wiped. I need to sleep.”

***

The following morning, I was smoking a cigarette outside. It was a beautiful farm and foggy on the horizon. It wouldn’t be for long. The door slowly creaked open. I glanced over my shoulder, and Jacklin came out of the house. I groaned. I was thinking about killing the two women again. Maybe Juliet wouldn’t be so angry if I did… I laughed at myself. I felt like I cheated on Juliet—was cheating on her only being in the vicinity of Jacklin. But it wasn’t that… Juliet had told me if I lied to her again… Not that she told me what she would do. Maybe she would see it as one before I sacrificed Michael to that machine. I sighed. If I had known, the boys had taken in the two fugitives. I might have left them to make their own way to safety. I was not fit to make any objective decisions.

“Can I have one?”

I couldn’t even look at her; definitely didn’t want to share a cigarette together.

“Louis… I …”

She had helped Lyla, “Who are you?”

“I can’t tell you. But I need to ask for a favor…” Jacklin hesitated, and I didn’t respond, “I helped you find that cub. You still owe me.”

I huffed, “You sacrificed me that night… I think we’re even,” I waited.

“I need to use the plate. One time.”

“No.”

“You’ll have me stuck here?”

“You don’t care one fig about what happens to me!”

“F- Louis, before that night in that motel, I’d not seen you in fifty years.” She laughed, “You slept with me and walked away.”

My nose lifted in disgust, not for Jacklin. I had just remembered that I lied to Juliet about who I was. She didn’t even know I was Marcus’s uncle… Juliet had a lot of love to give and let everything go. She hates being lied to, and I… seemed to love lying only to her… At one point, Juliet will break and… “You knew who I was, Jacklin… And still…”

Lyla chose that moment to make an appearance. “Can you please let Carl take us to my parents?”

They were testing my patience. “No, Lyla! You wanted this. Now you have to live it.” Carl and the guys came out, “Say goodbye, Carl.”

The boy lifted a hand and waved at the two women staring at us. Warden wanted to move forward, and Jacklin also took a step toward him. “Absolutely not,” Jack’s voice was firm. I frowned at the man who looked after my daughter but couldn’t judge him. I wanted him to also have a life. Oh, how screwed up the intersections were we found ourselves in. The five of us traveled out. I took us to Europe. It was the furthest from Fahan and Ian, and we might be able to help in some small way.

***

Lyla

Jacklin and I stood staring at each other. I didn’t know what to do or where to go. She needed to eat soon. It had already been a month since the farmer. I had no one to blame but myself. The day he died, all my decisions were acutely useless. No idea why I had done it in the first place. Juliet had brought beasts for them to eat, and the few people dying… even Stevie or Lucy seemed better than the masses I had killed. Nevin had warned me. I didn’t even know what happened to him. I hoped I would see him again one day.

I looked out over the farm. Without the guys, we couldn’t stay there. My parents were probably dead, “Where would the infected vamps go?”

“Lyla…” I glanced up at her. “I have something I have to tell you.”

“I was one of Ahasuerus’s wives… Sent to Earth because… It doesn’t matter… There were fifteen thousand infected vamps on the compound. Slaves, servants, or whatever. Every household had one… That’s why there are so many rooms in those tunnels and why they were built... Partially… Every normal vampire boy had to go through conditioning, and with so many kids at one time, Qadir needed a lot of space to tame them and needed servants to help them do it.”

“On En-gannim?”

“Camps. Lots of them. Hundreds of years, you had to be there… If you made a mistake, you got beaten and stuck in a dark room. When you came out, you behaved for a longer period. Until your next mistake, and then you were starved. It goes on like that until you stop talking. For the men until you could control yourself.”

“You were not born here. I figured something must have happened for you to be off the compound.”

“There were a few occasions families were let go. But it was always at Qadir’s discretion, and they would be placed strategically. Exile from the compound was really only for those who had no intentions of going back to En-gannim and posed no threat. Always a reason… Anyway… I rounded the infected vamps up when Lucy died. Gave them a place to stay. I don’t know if they are there. But we don’t really have a choice. Maybe we should start walking… Or how would you feel about surrendering our services to Ian?”

“At the compound? Are you crazy?! I’ll never make it.”

“Like I said, I have my own plans. But it’s whether you can trust me or not?”

“I don’t want to offend you. But do I really have a choice? My chances are better with you than alone.”

Jacklin and I geared up and set out on foot. We didn’t need to walk long. The drumming on the road could be heard long before you saw anything. “So this is why the guys left,” Jacklin said.

“Are you going to tell me what happened with Warden?”

“Same thing that happened with you. You have joined the club of being in the middle… You won’t fit into this world ever again. And you won’t be able to join theirs. Everyone in the middle flocks together.”

Jacklin was so old. Four hundred years… I couldn’t even imagine it. Three hundred there… One hundred on Earth. Vamps came flying over us, scouting, but passed us. Jacklin was manifested, and I was cowering behind her. The rest of the army soon came into view. We lifted our hands and stood to the side. It was rows and rows of a never-ending sea of men… The compound would be empty again. What was Jacklin going to do?

In the middle of the convoy, I saw Soren and Ian. The two men were isolated. The flying vamps went down roads to empty houses and would come back to the check-in. They were exterminating us, taking prisoners for food, and I didn’t know what else. Ian came over to Jacklin and spoke in some foreign language. She reached into her clothes pocket and took something out. She showed it to them. Ian stood staring at the thing. Soren talked to her, and Ian stopped the convoy. He made a few hand gestures, and the whole army turned around. I didn’t know how long we were on the truck or how far we had gone down the road. But we were going back.

Soren watched me with interest. I had heard my name, and Ian also glanced my way. Jacklin didn’t want to tell me her plans... I guessed they were worthy enough of Ian’s notice. Jacklin and Ian spoke almost the whole time in another language, so I couldn’t understand, and Soren listened intently. I had seen him on Juliet’s feed. He had left with all the children when Marcus put Qadir in prison. I wondered what had happened for him to hate them so much. To go back to En-gannim and totally go in the other direction.

That night, we were camped out in the desert. No tents. No sleeping bags. No carts were being pulled. No rations. No food. Just tech and a lot of it. Soren was making his way over to me. I was eating some of the last bread we had. The farmer’s freezer was well stocked, and I had taken some things out of the pantry.

“I was looking for you. The first time we came. I wish you guys didn’t run,” Soren said as he sat down.

“I was knocked out when the Ittoqure came. Jacklin too. Carl had taken sympathy on me. I suppose.”

“Where are they now?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Seems like Juliet and the guys are coming to help Earth.”

“Why do you say so?”

“Louis… He came to the house last night. He’s been looking for Carl for a week.” I watched Soren’s features change from okay to a stone-cold expression. “Why were you looking for me?”

“I wanted the tubes. All the feed.”

“Guess you got it.”

“Yeah. Thnx.” A smile played at the corner of his mouth. He seemed different. But it was so long ago when he and Juliet started.

“What are your plans?”

“Oh, I think Jacklin’s plans are now our plans. She has a way for us to fix the teleporter, but it’s locked up somewhere. Above that, fifteen thousand infected vamps will change our strategies to fight at night.”

“So you’re not going to eat me.”

“No… I don’t kill that easily.”

***

Back at the compound, I stayed with Soren in Marcus’s house. The Chadari was not there, but I was glad. They would’ve freaked me out. We could do nothing but wait. Jacklin had taken a car and a few soldiers and was driving south to retrieve everything Ahasuerus had left her before he went to Zoreah. Ian and Soren had stocked the compound tunnels to capacity with things they would need to fight the war. Food, water, gasoline. Guns, gas, provisions… Nothing to me made sense. I was sure there was more Jacklin wasn’t saying.

Soren practiced every day for hours. It was all he did. At night, he drank himself into a stupor. His manifestation was the same as Louis’s and Juliet’s. It was so much more formidable than the typical scary vampire features. I was in over my head in too many ways. Constantly afraid… No… Terrified.

***

Two Weeks Later

Fahan

We were marching East. Ian was moving west. With the flying, it wasn’t that bad. The Chadari were used to marching for days or even weeks to get to isolated areas. The densely populated cities were easy to take over. It was the ones that were open and had houses far apart from each other. Neighborhoods like that took the longest. Most places were evacuated. A fire had become a common occurrence when we fought. Humans thought it was a great way to deter and confuse us. It only made it easier. We burned everything. Once we left an area, there was nothing left…

That night, we were camped, and I walked among the men. We could eat cows and other things. The smells were coming from every fire. Humans cooked their food, and we were testing the theory. Smoke hung thick over the town and horizon where the fires from the houses we plundered were slowly coming to an end. Humans usually ran, and some got away, throwing us with tiny balls that blew up and made massive holes in the ground. The shields the vamps gave us, and our size and strength, allowed us to endure the loud noises. The men were talking about the sticks some of them threw at us that day. A brown stick with a little rope attached to it. At the end of the rope was a tiny fire that looked like a star in the sky, making weird hissing sounds. The men were laughing at the outcome. The humans who ran would move east to more densely populated areas. It suited our strategies. We were resting before we marched again. Once we reached the sea, we would be moving south.

Ian’s plan was to go on like that for a year if Jade could not get the teleporter working again. One year, and we would march back to the compound. I had not seen Jade or Aries in a very long time. But knowing Ian and Soren was not able to go to Palmyra was a relief. My chest lit up thinking about how relieved Jade had to be without any worries. My people were going on with their lives. The food would become a problem. The lights on my chest dimmed. All I wanted was to get away from Ian and Soren. Cut the ties and work with Marcus. I had not taken what had happened to Juliet and Marcus well? There was war, and then there was what Soren had done. Starving them so long that any creature would become wild. We fought and killed and let no one suffer. Honor for the strongest species but never vengeance.

I sat waiting for the time to pass, holding the plate in my hand. I wondered if Jade would be able to get the communications working. I did not even know what kind of damage there was. My thoughts did not want to think about them already dead. The plate lit up.

Jade { Send me a signal }

I did it immediately. A few moments later, she was standing in front of me. I could not even lift my head. She looked down at me for a long time.

“This is how things will work from here. I will be in control for now. Until we can work together. If not. You will stay here… You lied to me…”

“I am… Jealous. I… see and know about Dimitrios… But again, I was brought down from my pride.”

“What do you mean?”

“Soren and Ian. We need to get away from them.”

“I agree.”

I lifted my face. Her chest was dancing. I knew what it meant, “You want me?” My need was great. It was too long since our last mating. Was I wrong about them? I wanted to take her into the bushes and…

“I do.” My member responded, and all the lights on my chest flowed down my body. Jade snorted, which I knew was her laugh, “Tell Ian that if he needs anything, he can ask me. I have a meeting with the werewolf queen. We need others on our side. I am inclined to work with Juliet if you are.”

I wanted to get up. I did not care about any of them… My hand was halfway in the air to take hold of her. Jade disappeared again. I was so happy and relieved, but I was in pain. Another kind of pain. The other men had watched us, and when they laughed at me, I joined them. We all longed to be back with our females, and we shared the moment. Juliet and Jade together. For the first time, I had hope. I realized I was becoming more human. Everywhere we went, there were books. A big building with so many books. We left those buildings intact. Whenever I had a chance, I read and read and read.

Marcus had not killed me because for them… Their honor lay in mercy and relations and… what did they call it… “making the world a better place.” Strange that it did not seem to be an idea all humans embraced.

I picked up the plate again. Only a message.

Jade { You will have to walk back } I laughed and laughed and laughed.