This Is Where I Want To Be

182. A Bottle Of Sand

Juliet

The convoy was steadily progressing… I felt like Chris would have on Zoreah all those years. How did they walk endlessly for months? After the previous night, I wished I could send Chris a message and ask him to come. He would have probably been there already and stuck with us. Later that morning, Michael eventually met up with us, falling in line next to me and taking my hand. I couldn’t even look at him. We had fought hard. Michael trained with us, but he had never put in the time Louis and I had to over the years. He was a little behind in some ways. Michael would have gotten a hold of me if it went on. I didn’t have the stamina he had for three creatures. I ended it when I wanted. Used my brain like Marcus had taught me.

The pressure on my hand tightened. Michael slowed down our speed, so we trailed a little behind everyone. I had been crying the whole night. I was sick of playing strong. Marcus told me to stop bottling up everything, and I took his advice to heart. The consequence was red eyes, a blocked nose, and wet cheeks. Coupled with the sand in the equation, the whole process of dealing with your emotions was way worse than it should have been. Charlene had not left my side. Cradled me like a child in her arms. I could have lost the baby. One wrong kick. Nails dug into my skin. More tears rolled down my cheeks. I was sick of the emotional stress my relationship with Michael put me under. It was time I made a decision. One I never thought I would need to make. If Michael had to be out of my life for another year. Then so be it. Michael looked down at me. “Are you crying?”

I nodded, wiping my eyes. “Juliet, I’m sorry.”

Charlene was watching us over her shoulder. She met my eyes. There would be no special pouch for me to get over my mood swings during the pregnancy on Mirach. However, I had the next best thing. She and Romero came over.

“Michael, I think you should let Juliet be,” Romero suggested.

He kept holding onto my hand. “I thought you were done?”

“It doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt like hell.” I yanked my hand out of his.

Romero pulled me in under his shoulder, pushing me forward. He wrapped me up in darkness, and the dullness hit me. It was instant and flowed through my body. My tears were gone, and my heart was able to think again. “You only pretend to be strong, don’t you?”

“My whole life is one big show… Half the time, I don’t even know where I am… I want to go home.”

“Your only ride is that guy. And I don’t know why he can’t travel.”

“I don’t want to be stuck here. Is there no way of sending a message? How did you guys do it?”

“We only received visitors when they decided. Sometimes, it was hundreds of years apart.”

“Did they ever go any further?”

“I do not know.”

“So you wouldn’t even know if there are other planets in this galaxy with more species on them?”

“We will know soon. Be patient.”

“You sounded so sure that your way of branding was the only way here.”

“We have never in all our history received challengers. You can understand that it would be something for a team. Not two people… And I will tell you what I told Charlene… I am just guessing.”

The trek that day was hard. It was non-stop walking. They decided to do it during the day. It wasn’t so hot where we were. Walking the whole night would have offset our sleep cycle. It wouldn’t have helped with fighting another giant monster. Michael let me be for the rest of the day. That night, I was so desperate for comfort that I got into bed with him. I felt in control enough. It wasn’t fun. Michael used to be the fun one. The guy who joked with me and made me laugh so hard I wanted to wet myself. Life really didn’t care about our outcome. The universe didn’t care about our journey. He wrapped me up and pulled me onto his chest. He was right. We were never on the same page. Not anymore. “Juliet. I am sorry I lost control.”

“I asked for it. At least I know what’s going on with you.”

The following day was more walking. I was stiff and uncomfortable. Michael didn’t leave my side, and I didn’t ask him to. At one point, he manifested and carried me in his arms. “Do you want to sit on my chest? You’re so light. I don’t even feel you.”

I gave him a genuine smile. He gladly hoisted me up onto his shoulder. I wasn’t really sleepy; I was just not used to walking for hours straight. After more walking, he pushed me off and slid me down his back, letting me piggyback… It was worse. My nose was in his neck, and my lips brushed over his back. “You’re asking for it.”

“My middle name is trouble.” His paws squeezed my thighs. Like he used to do on the bike.

“Why don’t you ride your bike anymore?”

“Juliet. I don’t think we can handle anymore. We are both so close to breaking.”

“We won’t have another chance.” I nuzzled my cheek into his fur. “Michael… You have to start talking. Or there will be no more to handle.” He stopped mid-stride, swung me around, and looked deep into my eyes. His furry paws were squeezing my ass. My thighs and knees responded.

“I stopped because you always went with me. The last time was when I lost control. I wasn’t even what I am now. I… was angry. When I woke up, you were with Marcus. I would have never acted like that if you weren’t in that situation. Lost control like that… Why I didn’t do anything that night with Qadir. I can’t stop myself when it comes to you. When I’m with you…”

“I’m a bad influence.” I laughed and snuggled into his neck.

“Do you think I didn’t want to kill him? So many times I would have.”

“You would have died.”

“Yes… I was a little selfish… Would rather see you suffer than not have a future with you… Just like Marcus. Not giving you to Soren or protecting you from his family.”

I pulled up on his shoulders and kissed him on the cheek. “Put me down. I feel better.”

“Are you sure? I can go on all day like this.”

I pushed off and landed in the sand. “That can’t be all?” I laced my fingers with human ones.

“I felt left out… The guys had to come to rescue me like some pathetic person who couldn’t manage his mind.”

“You were embarrassed?” I asked nervously.

“I didn’t like being treated the way they did… No one will ever hurt me again…” Michael scoffed. “After that. Our rides would have had to be supervised.”

“It’s way worse now, honey.”

Michael laughed. “Yes, all my problems are because of you… I thought about leaving… Before they beat me… I would have. Louis told me to go.”

I stopped and made him look at me. “It’s not like that, Juliet… Louis knows every inch of me. I wasn’t raised like they were.” Michaels’ eyes wandered over my shoulder as he spoke. “I didn’t have fifteen years to conform like Chris… I wasn’t pushed down for two hundred by an ass of a dad… Louis was free to f- his way through life… All Louis had to say was that out of everyone, I had no excuse… Not to submit….” Michael bent down and hovered over my lips. I pulled away and started walking again.

He ran up behind me and took my hand. “That was mean.”

The corner of my lips lifted.

“I thought about a new life…. Somewhere alone with new people and a fresh start… But all I could see was an empty shell of a life. No one knew me… Not like you.”

“You said you weren’t going to hurt me.”

“I know… And then I had to deal with everything that happened after Marcus came back for good. And I had to do it all human… Like you said… It doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.” Michael squeezed my hand. “I don’t like being last in your heart… Now it’s so much worse… I’ve always convinced myself that I would be content just being by your side. There was no place for me. As a human, I was your weakest link. I thought you treated me differently because I was helpless. Not because you saw us differently. Had more respect for me.”

“So you don’t blame me anymore?”

“Oh honey, no.” Michael stopped and pulled me around to look at him. “Our fight was a turning point… I… did something stupid.”

Michael had told me that he lied to me about more things. The fear was gnawing at me in the back of my mind. One of my three things.

“I watched Louis’s feed… of that night when I returned after the branding.” My mouth opened. I closed it quickly. Louis and I said so much that night. “You went up into his room….” Michael let go of my hand and kicked his shoe through the sand, looking left and right before he went on. “I didn’t know why you took off the chains before we slept together the first time… In the pit of my heart… I had hoped… It was for me… And after… Louis was different. I knew you guys talked about it.”

“Michael!”

“Let me finish….” His feet stopped moving, and he turned to me. “That day when you gave Louis the right to decide. I had already lost you. Before I could even win your heart. Heaven knows Louis, and I competed for that spot… The problem was that it was never a competition. You were never some game to be played… My human nature wanted you all to myself… The moment the branding took place. The rules flew out the window. I was a creature, and I didn’t care anymore. The anger and the lust and apathy took that place… I had not even entertained the idea of submitting… Chris had swatched you. You gave Marcus a baby. And what did I do? I gave in to all of it. All I had left was contempt.”

“I didn’t give you the time you needed,” I whispered. “I’m sorry, Michael. I didn’t make it easy for you. And I never did want to hurt any of you.”

His hand gently stroked over my hair and ended up cupping my neck.

“Michael… I know what I said in that room. And I do love Louis in a way that I can’t explain. But… It’s a very thin line. I neeed you to know that. And every day, that line becomes more fragile… The more time I spend with all of you, the more it merges into one… And every day, it’s harder for me. I love you! And nothing you do or want to do will change that.”

“I know. I know that now.” He said softly. “And were we in any other situation... We would have gone our separate ways… And was I not the one who lectured you to love what is good for you. I’m the one who planted that seed before you left the farm. I could’ve stayed. I walked away. Your whole life since then was to find someone like him. Someone who would look back at you… Put you first and go out of his way for you. And I couldn’t have asked for anyone more worthy to look after you.”

I knew he was going to disappear before he even left. There was always a certain sadness behind his features. A strange look in his eyes when he was going to leave. He had the same one that day at the farm when I was only fifteen.

That night, we camped for the last time. Michael had been gone for hours, and they would go for the vault the following day.

***

Michael

While I stood before Juliet, all I could think about was the farm. Where I wanted to be and where it all started. It was why I could travel at all. The face that looked back at me was one I thought I would never see again. We stared at each other as the little brunette’s eyes grew to the size of saucers. She had gone for the gun by her side, leaving her belt untied, coming out of the bathroom. She pointed it at me. In that moment, I thought she should take the shot. The vamp in me was too selfish... It was probably going to get way worse… I wanted what I wanted. The same as the first time I kissed her… And there was nothing I could do about it. I was never meant to be human. None of us were.

I lifted my hands in the air. “I am sorry for what I did. In the Library, there is a secret door. Inside is everything you need to know. All you have to do is wave the tubes in the air. No one knows you’re here. But they will come. I’ve made so many mistakes… I’m sorry for your loss.”

I traveled out to Palmyra before the brunette could say anything. Didn’t even remember her name or the girl I ate… I had promised myself to eliminate every threat against Juliet… Fahan was our biggest problem, and I was also done. But for a whole other reason than what Juliet was done for. I was done watching. It wasn’t my job description anymore.

Caleb and Marcus’s heads turned to me when they heard me land. Both of them were disheveled from head to toe, rumpled clothes and unkempt hair. Marcus was all beat up and looked worn down. He had bruises on his arms and cuts on his face. The skin on his knuckles was raw and cracked. Caleb ran into my chest. I wrapped the boy up in an embrace. “Happy to see me? Or you got yourself in a little pickle.”

“You have no idea.”

Marcus had that same look on his face that he always had. His elbows were resting on the table. His hands were clasped, and his thumbs played with his bottom lip. His eyes were on me, and then his gaze drifted to the wood in front of him, deep in thought. Seemed that both of us bit off more than we could chew. “I came to kill Fahan. What did you guys do.”

“Fahan and Marcus fought. Marcus wiped the floor with him. I told him not to kill him. He wanted to as well… We came to kill those five guys, and they cornered us, and we almost died. You can’t kill him either… okay?!”

I patted the boy on the back. “How long have you been here?”

“We’ve been stuck for two days.”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t here. I couldn’t come back. I tried, but… It seems that traveling has a lot to do with mental stability… Your mom and I fought… I almost killed her…” I waited for Marcus to come at me. I could see the instant tension in his shoulders, his chest rising and falling, working up to a decision. “She won!” I said quickly.

Marcus’s head flung around, his black eyes spiraling... If Juliet could sort me out… If he could put Fahan in his place. Marcus would kill me in a second. “She cut my arms to shreds, dangling in my grasp. Her cuts were deep to the bone. Severed anything that could make me move a finger.”

Marcus came back to human. A slight smile played on the corner of his mouth, and he bobbed his head proudly. His shoulders fell forward, and his head went with. “I almost died in the process. So… with that out of my system. I know I’m not invincible. And your mother lectured me about how I forgot who I was dealing with.”

I heard amusement coming from Marcus. Caleb laughed under my arm. “The baby is healthy… And Charlene is having twins.”

Marcus was tired of sitting and came over. “Ahasuerus decided to hide his vault on Mirach. Where Charlene is Queen. Kubra is going to be a father, and Romero.”

Caleb and Marcus were so happy. Marcus grabbed my outstretched hand and shook it. “Did you find it?”

“No… We are a night away from fighting a monster… or something for it.”

“Why didn’t you bring her back?”

“I didn’t want to.”

Marcus’s mouth twitched, and a genuine smile played on his lips. “You’re ready to submit, aren’t you.”

“Yes. And I have… After everything that had happened, my emotions got the better of me.” Saying it out loud. I meant it.

I didn’t think I would ever see Marcus shed a tear. His jaw pulled tight, and the water rolled down his cheeks. As if he had no control over them. He pulled me closer and fell into my chest. My eyes stretched like they had never before. His arms came around my body, and he sobbed like a child. Marcus’s body convulsed uncontrollably. Caleb’s hand ran over his mouth, staring at the man. Realization hit us both. And I was reminded of how selfish I am. This… was not a game.

“What happened?” I asked softly, wrapping up the smallest guy of us all.

Caleb’s voice was low. “Like I said… I almost died.”

***

I took them back to En-gannim one by one, straight to Juliet’s office. It was instant chaos. There were so many people that we didn’t see Louis or Chris at first. Louis was the first to stand up and look out over the crowd. I didn’t know how he did it. I shook my head at myself. How could I ever have thought I was a match for the guy. Chris jumped up, and Caleb was in his arms a moment later. “They are dead. All of them. But we did something. I don’t know what it means.”

The crowd had seen the new arrivals, and everyone quieted down.

“Can we trust everyone here? Samuel?” Marcus asked.

Louis glanced around the room. “All non-essentials out. Now!”

Marcus sat down on his couch, letting his head fall onto the leather. “There was more vampire tech that I didn’t recognize. Caleb and I got it charged. It was filled with so much that I didn’t have time to take it all in… It had to have been right after Zoreah. The waters were rough when Juliet got bitten by that fish, but not like what Caleb and I suffered.”

I couldn’t even comprehend how the waters could have been worse than that day. How I felt, trying to save everyone. Marcus went on. “Brylee had a fail-safe installed for the city… I made a choice and activated their harbor control. It was an instant barrier that came out of the water. Pillars beamed up and created a harbor wall. It all works with water siphoned out into tunnels under the embassy. All their mechanics work with pumps I had activated… I think it would take days for it all to settle, but the thing is that the tunnels are protected when the harbor isn’t there… They flood… And when the wall came up. The tunnels emptied.” Marcus glanced at Caleb.

“We think it’s their vault… More secrets.”

My hand landed on Marcus’s shoulder. I did want to listen to what they would say. His eyes came up, and he stood to his feet to greet me. I took his hand, and I knew we had crossed a line. Just like with Juliet. If they knew where they stood with you. They would do anything for you. His eyes were full of emotions. “Take care of our child.”

“With my life.”

I left. I was too scared of the time difference. We didn’t know how it was affected from En-gannim to Mirach. From the moment Juliet and I talked, the traveling was easy. I knew where I wanted to be. Where I needed to be. And… where my Queen was. It was strange thinking of her like that. The system had changed, and I was ready for killing and then lust.

I landed in the sand. The camp was where Juliet and Charlene would be staying. The servants saw me and called out to Charlene. The moment I saw Juliet, I remembered the farm. “Oh shoot.” I went back. Disappeared right out from under her nose.

I landed in the room again. They all laughed. “Did you forget your keys?” Louis quipped.

“Ha, ha. No, but… There is a girl at the farm, Carl. I think you’re up. Oh, and Kubra, you’re going to be a father.”

I shot him with gunfingers and disappeared.

***

Lyla

My hand was shaking with the gun still pointed. I never wanted to see him again. As soon as he was gone, I wanted him to come back. With a surge of adrenalin fueling me, I ran out of the room. No point in locking the door. Gigi followed me down the stairs. I took them two at a time.

I yanked the side doors open to the van, grabbed my laptop bag, and forgot the charger. As soon as I was at the door, I had to turn back. I made my way to the library and booted up the thing. “Come on, Come on.” It had to connect to my phone. A little jumpy; every sound got me jerking my head up to the room. There would be no point watching the door. They would appear out of thin air. They would be coming, and if they took everything I had. What would all my efforts have been for?

I uploaded video after video to the group, all the information I had kept from them for months. I didn’t need some foreigner to come and take over my life or make a mess before I had any answers. My screen lit up. They were broadcasting all over the world. I was flooding every site in America. Because I had already started, our group was following my lead. For the first time, I felt like I was doing something.

Yes, the teleportation, the space travel, and the aliens were a big deal. In the beginning, fear had gripped the world. Theories went out that Disruptive Innovation would cripple industries and that roads would become useless. Everything we had built would become desolate hubs of nothingness. Millions feared their jobs. Others were scared of hostiles who would be able to bomb anyone anywhere. The nations were not deterred, and all the countries around the world would stand together in their unified decisions. They believed they had centuries to adapt and adjust. Roads would become solar fields. Where there were once wars and countries fighting between West and East or even across borders for land and religion, it was a thing of the past. And they might be right. There was nothing like an outside threat to unite the world’s nations. We were like ants standing together in a glass jar. Painfully aware of who shook it. And I was going to make sure the world knew who they were putting their faith in. And some girl who only cut her hair a few years ago was not about to rule me.

It was done. The world would know. I glanced around, looking for any one of the bookcases that might be a hidden door. There were so many, and the library had a second room with nooks, crannies, and small tables. A second story with chairs and a fireplace. It took me a while, but I found it. The door was a bottom part of rounded shelves. No mechanism or button to find. I swore under my breath. When he told me, there would be black tubes. I envisioned a box. Or maybe a few in a safe. There were millions. No system to the chaos. The ledgers stacked more than the books. The room was enormous, and in the middle of the floor… a loveseat. It was so out of place. Old and beautiful. Handcrafted with wingbacks. A tete-a-tete seat, I think they called it. French, I believed. It looked French.

I didn’t know where to start. So I went back upstairs. I put on the TV. It had only been a few minutes. Every channel was filled. Every reporter had something to say. My phone dinged.

Carl [ You have no idea what you started ]

I tossed the phone on the couch. The news changed to the feed of the empty watcher bases. Images of the war waging on En-gannim. Reports and the general talking directly to the public. They had to keep the people updated on why the teleporters were not working. Our roads were still filled with cars. The oceans were still catching fish and being patrolled. Trucks were safely loading and unloading shipments from factories.

The regular armies of the countries were still in active service. Navys that once could not let ships cross a line on a map were seen docking next to each other in the middle of the sea. Crew talking and mingling. Together, they were testing new weaponry against all our enemies. The Middle East was quiet. There was no more fighting, and there were no bombs. The Earth was very serious about life at that moment.

I imagined everyone around the globe was watching the news. My social feed lit up. There were so many varying opinions about what I had released. Some said they didn’t care. Others noted that it was just a matter of time before the lost vampires would be found. If everyone just looked around them and opened their eyes. Report them. We could flush out all of them.

The opposed were in a state. We were letting our criminals sold for the slaughter while they used us as they wanted. A missing report of a mother in a small town south of Chicago was headlining. World wide. I looked up from my phone. A child was crying. A father trying to console him. The boy was raving about a monster that came and took his mother out of their house. My spine stiffened. It was too random. Usually, if someone did go missing, it was an elderly person out of a nursing home. A dying patient from a cancer ward or some random loner who didn’t pay his rent on time. Those cases could be crossed off as the missing vamps among us. Or Werewolves or Riphaths. The government and the compound didn’t need to hunt among the living anymore. But that felt personal. Her face came up next to my sisters, and I stood up. The reporter went on.

“In the last two years, missing people have gone from every day thousands to almost nothing overnight. Drug dealers and human traffickers are a thing of the past.” Jennifer spoke with emotion. “But now. We have this… One daughter died in a club. We all know the story.” They played the footage the club gave out after my sister disappeared. I had seen it so many times. It grieved me. It was of the guys fighting. Juliet dancing. I held my breath… “At last!” Our table and that man’s face were plastered on the news. My sister was even in a photo with him. They had seen all my stuff and put it together. Jennifer continued. “Another woman was taken out of her home. Right in front of her child… The monsters.” Jennifer Air quoted the word. “Was even nice enough to drop the child at his father’s house. I ask you! When will enough be enough?”

I shook my head. If I had time. I would’ve driven to that town to investigate that murder. Juliet was involved. I could feel it. And if we were dying for crimes. She was going to pay the same price.