This Is Where I Want To Be

171. Fish And Dragons

Fahan

It had been a few days of settling into our new environment. Not everyone had a house. We were too many, and the city was too small. But the housing was perfect. Their buildings were sturdy, and rooves were high enough for us to fit easily. We always stood head to head with the even biggest wolf.

I was deciding on where we would go from there. Who I would have to send away to make their own way in this new world. It would divide our forces, but ruining such a beautiful place was not something I wanted. Killing and draining nature. Depleting resources.

First and foremost was protecting everything we worked for. My men could not figure out what they ate or how they hunted. There was equipment we did not know how to use, and it was too complicated to maneuver anything they had with our heavy hands and fat fingers. There were plants… So many plants that we were not familiar with. We did not know if it would kill us or give us sustenance if we utilized it. The biggest problem was to get off that island we were stuck on. We were surrounded by a mass of water, and we did not swim. If any of us were to fall into the depths. That would be it.

I sat in a garden. On a chair. Something I had never even heard of. Where we came from, it was chiseled-out rock. Every morning was the same feeling over and over. We had done it. It had taken much, but we were there. And it was magnificent.

Jade had not come out of her living quarters yet. We had not spoken one word to each other. She had not even come out to look at the place or met with our fellows. I had allowed her sister to live in the palace. She was the only one that Jade had allowed into her room. Dimitrios came in every morning to talk about what had happened during the night and to answer any questions I had. He had the communications plate in his hand. I stood up immediately. “Is it Chris? Are they going to give him back?”

One of the doors along the garden opened. Jade walked out, not looking at me. She was waiting. I gestured for Dimitrios to continue. “Marcus has requested a meeting.”

“Marcus? Ahasuerus’s grandson?” I huffed. “The one Avrio warned me about. The strongest one of them all… Where?”

“He says here… The platform where you met with Chris.”

The rumble in my chest showed my disapproval. The patterns on my chest started to glow. “If I go and Marcus kills me. What then?”

Neither of them said anything. I growled, showing my disapproval. They both trusted me, and I had broken that trust. Neither of them would say anything to me or would venture a suggestion. My gaze traveled over Jade. She seemed stronger and was getting over the after-effects of giving birth. But not entirely back to her usual self. I could not send Dimitrios. It will not satisfy Marcus. I could not send my mate. She would say something wrong. Or worse, go behind my back to get her son returned to her. Jade was tired of waiting. She turned around and went back into her room. My patience with her was wearing thin. I sat back down. “Tell Marcus… I will only speak to Chris… It will give me some time.”

Dimitrios sent the message. A reply came through soon after.

“He says Chris is still unconscious. He will contact us when he wakes up.”

“Ask him about Aries.”

Dimitrios gave me the plate. There were images of my child with Juliet. He was sleeping on her chest. Another in a crib. More of him in Caleb’s arms. My hand wanted to close around the glass and crush it. They had to know I was coming. Another message came through.

Marcus [ Is there anyone else you will be willing to talk to ]

Me [ Juliet ]

Marcus [ It will never happen ]

My chest rumbled some more.

Me [ Then I will wait ]

Even sending a message was difficult. We would have to change everything to suit our bodies.

***

Juliet

The following morning, I went to work with Marcus. He took me to the med bay and stopped at the door. He kissed me long and hard. I knew I wasn’t really there. He had not even slept with me the previous night or the last time it was his turn. I was trying to keep track. But I was done initiating. “When are we starting… With your training… I don’t think I can wait.” He said, hovering over my lips. His hand ran up my neck into my hair.

“Later… today?”

He pressed his lips onto mine quickly. “No, pecking.” We could hear Soren talking to Caleb. Marcus was jealous and shoved me into the room. “I don’t want you near him.” He pointed a finger at me. I nodded, turning away, laughing a little. The thought of him, Louis, and Soren staring at Rana the whole day was unfair. I couldn’t even see Soren.

Michael was watching us, taking it all in. He did know me the best. Just didn’t like me anymore. I didn’t want him to expect the dance. I would try to keep it a surprise. I waved at him. A scowl formed on his features. Was he going to acknowledge my existence? It didn’t last long. He closed his eyes and groaned. He was in pain… I wouldn’t interfere in Louis’s punishment for him. Something was going on with Michael, and I was not capable of getting him to come to terms with it. So… I ignored him and went over to Chris’s bed. I lay beside him and put my head on his chest, closing my eyes. Chris’s arm wrapped around me. I soon fell asleep.

***

Later that day, I went home. Told Marcus where I would be. It didn’t take long before he came running in. He paused at the door. His eyes ran over the room. We were down in the tunnels. I had put in some lighting that I thought would set a better mood. A nice chair on one side. On the other, a tiny stage with a pole. I thought it looked pretty good with a dark carpet and the walls were painted black. Michael would love it. Marcus laughed lightly. It made me feel better. I took him by the wrist and dragged him in, closing the door and locking it.

“So, what do you want me to do?” He asked.

“You can sit… and I’ll show you what I got so far.”

He obliged and sat down. I put some music on, went into a dressing area where I would come out. I had gone all out with the outfit. Super high heels. Did a ton of research and planned my set. I started. My balance and strength made the pole easy. I ended up on his lap. Marcus had not given me one facial expression. One of the reasons I knew I would be able to do it for him. He was so good not judging.

He gripped my waist. “No… That’s not gonna work.” His tone wasn’t condemning or belittling. I smiled, not taking it personally. I looked down at him from where I sat. Marcus kissed me quickly, and I got off. He went to my phone and stopped the music. I followed to see what he was doing. Marcus was going through my playlists. It didn’t take long, and he played a song. I listened for a bit and tilted my head. It wasn’t what I was expecting but was still sexy. I liked it. He played another and another. “These three together give you at least six minutes… maybe a little more.”

He walked over to the red curtains in the corner that opened up to a few outfits I had hanging. He pushed them aside one by one. “No… No!” Another in jerky movements. “No! Not one of these.”

“Okay…? What did you have in mind.”

He turned to me. “You’re thinking about Michael. And what he would like… You shouldn’t.”

My eyes glanced at my phone. Marcus had chosen songs that I enjoyed. How he even knew what I liked was surprising.

“You don’t go to a strip club and see things you would like… You look at a woman that knows herself… That can perform with style… Make it an art… She is comfortable and does it through sexual feeling.”

I snorted. “I’m the worst actor. What the hell do I know about seducing a guy.”

“It’s a good thing. Because he is not some stranger. You can act out how you truly feel… What is the best-case scenario? You can only make that happen if you push all his buttons. And you know… you do.” I groaned. “Try again… Take off all your clothes.” I frowned. “You’ll have to think about an outfit later that you feel comfortable in… Remember when we watched you in the jersey and shorts… Not what some girl on YouTube told you would be desirable.”

“How is me being naked going to help.”

He reached around me and started undressing me. “Be confident… naked first…. If you can do that. The outfit is just a prop.” His hands stroked over my skin. His eyes roamed over my breasts and down my body. Marcus turned me around to the stage and started the music again.

That time, I didn’t follow my routine; I only followed my instincts. I moved from the stage to the chair. He wasn’t so stoic anymore. Marcus shifted uncomfortably in the chair, gripping the sides when I danced close to him. The last song ended with me in front of him on the carpet. I stood up. The quiet was a little daunting with that new look in his eyes. It was more than just lust. “Of course, I’ll work in the way of taking off my outfit… If you think I should change any….”

Marcus’s hands reached for my waist and pulled me close to his body as he got up. He kissed me violently, stopping me from talking. Not caring if I was there or not, moving me towards the wall. He picked me up by the thigh and pressed me against the cold cement. I gripped his waist with a knee as he undid his pants. He thrust into me in a few quick movements. My breath hitched every time. I squirmed, my cheeks burned. Was I blushing? He gripped my waist and pulled me down on him, holding me in place. Marcus manifested and bit my neck. It was a first for me and got my attention. Every deliberate, pounding thrust was accompanied by panting groans and loud moans. I lifted my other leg and held on. His hands cupped my ass, and he finished with a relentless potency, muttering incoherently. “You do remember I’m pregnant,” I said, heaving and digging my nails into his back.

“S-! No, I didn’t.” He pulled out of me, setting me softly down on the ground. “I’m sorry….” His breath was heavy on my skin.

“That was the best outcome,” I whispered. “You thinking about me and not your child.”

“You probably have rags here somewhere… Where are they.” He fidgeted away from me.

“Mar…cus…” He paused. “Calm down.”

“I can’t.” He pushed himself back in his pants and tied his belt in jerky motions. “It’s not enough. I need more!”

“More than that?”

“More of you. I can’t, Julie. Once every fifth day. Spending one night with you… And I can’t and won’t have sex with you if things are not right between us.” I laughed a little, biting my bottom lip. “Not again.” His shoulders slumped. “When Chris is back, it will be so much worse… That made me want to kidnap you again.”

I walked over to the opposite wall and opened a door. It led out into a bathroom. The light was blinding. I sat down on the toilet.

“No rags needed….” He said, leaning against the door frame. “You’ll have to change the lights in here.”

“I will.”

I finished and walked over to him. “When were you planning on dancing for him.”

“Not soon… The way he’s acting. I don’t even think he’d enjoy it.”

“Can I come every time you’re here?”

I chuckled. “Is it Rana making you this horny.”

The side of his mouth quirked up. “I was thinking… You could restrain him in the chair… He shouldn’t be able to get up or touch you. It will make it so much more….”

I smiled. “Is that what you would want?” He nodded. “You know more about that than me. Will you choose them?”

“Julie… You’re looking for trouble.”

“You’re happy, Marcus… Well, kind of. That’s all I want… Do you want to go away for two weeks?”

He nodded again, dragging me closer and hugging me. He pushed away, and his fingers brushed over my lips. “I have to talk to you. Can you put some clothes on? Or else we’ll be down here too long.”

“You just got me there.”

He shook his head. “No… You’re lying, but I deserve it.”

While I was getting dressed, he sat down on the edge of the stage. “I don’t know if I should kill them all… Is it really the right way of doing things. They will attack us eventually… I want to stop all the threats there are. Without pushing everyone down and letting them know that they either conform or die. Sent to prison or to the red planet… I want to use the army to start sending messages to all the continents.”

“How many men are there?” I asked before thinking. My eyes darted to his. I knew he needed to vent and wasn’t asking for my opinion. I also didn’t want to interfere. He saw my reluctance.

“About eight hundred and counting.” He held out a hand to me.

I had to dig my nails into my palms not to ask how he had managed it. He didn’t miss the gesture, watching my every move. I sat down next to him. He took my fist in his, unclenched my fingers, and laced both of ours. I let the tension in my shoulders go and rested my head on his shoulder.

“I’ve been recruiting in person. It wasn’t hard at all. Everyone is excited about the changes and that things are happening… Most of the men that knew about you… Didn’t care that a woman had won in the ring. They all saw him throw you with the emblem. But not everyone knows what’s going on.”

He kissed my fingers. “They had not told the women. I don’t think any of the women on En-gannim knows except those who are snoopy.” His eyes were on me, but he couldn’t see my face. He turned towards me a bit. I had to sit up again. “I don’t know if I should leave it for the men to decide or give the women the information… It would cause such a panic if everything changed in the matter of a day.”

I was quiet. Listening.

“It will take years to get the army up to scratch… It’s only the two hundred from the Earth who have the training to really go to war. The rest are the two hundred who joined you when you were still in charge, and they came to Nahrima of their own free will. Enlisted to fight for you... But the six will need time. So many years. If only to get their strength and abilities to actually initiate.”

“I wonder how strong I will be when mine kicks in?” I asked. “My super hearing and vigilance.” I was trying to change the subject.

“Julie… please tell me what you want to do about the women?”

“You said it yourself. You play for the long run. Stick to your plans. Let that be a long-term goal. You don’t have to fix everything right away.”

Marcus smiled. It made me smile.

“I think you’ll be surprised that ninety-nine percent of the women would want it to continue as is… Like my mom… And Isla… Rana… Only one percent will not be able to handle it like my army and I. I do care about how the ninety-nine is treated, but… I can’t forget what Ahasuerus said that day. Who is supposed to care for the household if all the men are gone? Avrio’s wife just differed the responsibility to her son… By choice. It’s in a mother’s nature… Especially there. Do we really want another Earth? Where single mothers need to work on the red planet and send money home to their starving children. Just not chained up.”

Marcus turned my face to his. “I also think the harem systems have to stop. If the men want a wife, they should stick to one.” Marcus’s hand ran over my cheek.

“So Rana won’t be your second wife? To secure alliances?”

“That’s going to cost you.” Marcus was serious. “Your body is not responding to me like it always did… You’re not even asking for release.”

“I am trying.”

“I don’t want you to try. It was supposed to have been you and me… You’ve not forgiven me?”

I was quiet.

“You never wanted to be that wife. Who sat home and waited for her husband to come back at the end of the day.”

“I made a hard decision. Michael says I manipulated you. It wasn’t that at all. I have to do what I need to do… to cope. Make everything work out.”

“I don’t want you to cope. I want you to be happy.”

“I am… I’m giving you a baby. I wanted that. I might be paying a high price for him. But I wanted to do it for you. I would have fought harder for us. If I had to… And for the next five months, I’m going to sit here and protect this child.”

“I’m scared, Julie.”

“About what?”

“That I’m losing you. I promised to work with you… I promised to save him.”

“You did, if you think about it. When I had to get to Chris and Caleb. Who took over the day-to-day? I wouldn’t even have woken up after the fish, if it wasn’t for you. And like you said, you made one mistake.”

“I’ve made more than just one… I want you back. Like you were on Palmyra. Or that day after we slept together for the first time. In my office. Full of life and that adoration in your eyes. That smile on your mouth. The one you used to have just for me… The longing.”

“I’m still free. I can come and go as I please. Do what I want to. We went through so much together. I have nothing to complain about. The rest… I don’t know. I am still hurt and… disappointed.”

“Do you think about Soren?”

I was quiet again, turning away from him. He bobbed his head. “You want to get back at me?”

“I would never. Even if I did want to. But even in that, it was about you. Not him… You regret not taking Rana to your room that night?”

“Who said I didn’t” He lifted his torso and looked down on me.

“I think I’d kill myself.”

Marcus stood up and pulled me to my feet. “Come. Enough dramatics.”

“I can’t stand you staring at her the whole day!”

Marcus pulled me in under his shoulder. “Just a few more days, I promise.”

***

I spent more time at the med bay the rest of the week, knowing Chris would wake up every day for more extended periods. The doctors lessened his medication, and it made him more lucid.

“Juliet.”

“Chris?” I lifted my head from a book I was reading. Michael had also slowly gotten up a few times and could move around the room.

“Can you help me sit up? I’m sick of lying down.”

I helped him with the bed. Chris caught sight of Michael’s back. “Did he get drunk on Zoreah?”

I chuckled. “Yeah… Something like that. Silvanus and Ira had a hell of a time with him.”

Chris’s sensitive brown eyes could see me not caring about Michael. We just stared at each other for the longest time. His hand in mine. My mouth on his fingers. Tears pooled in my eyes eventually, thinking about everything. “Please don’t cry.”

“I won’t.” I sat back and picked up my book again.

“Read to me.”

I started reading.