This Is Where I Want To Be

166. Making A Decision

Charlene

Kubra’s eyes had not come up once. He didn’t care what I looked like or what I had turned into. He was slowly dragging his cigarette. I came back to human and walked over to him, standing close. He couldn’t look at me. I touched his shoulder. Nothing. I went down on my knees next to him. Still nothing. I scooted till I was in front of him. He didn’t open his knees, so I pushed in between his legs. His eyes avoided mine. It was rather cute. He was angry. “I’m sorry, Kubra. I was a crappy girlfriend.” I took the cigarette out of his hand and pushed it into the ashtray. “I do love you. I don’t know what was wrong with me… I know I pushed you away… Emotionally unavailable.”

His eyes came up at last, and he raked his finger through my hair, dragging me closer. Before he kissed me, he stopped. “I can smell him. Every night you came, I could smell him.”

“I’m sorry… I’m in love with him. I don’t want to hurt you.” Kubra’s hand desperately rubbed the back of my head, pressing my forehead onto his. I didn’t know if he would get angry. “I need to know if you want to end this? Because I don’t think I’ll be able to let him go.”

“Stay with me tonight. Please don’t give him all of you before I even had anything.” His words broke my heart.

“I desperately want to… You know that.” He smiled briefly, waiting for my answer. “I… think he doesn’t want me.”

Kubra took ragged breaths. “S- Charlene, he doesn’t want you? You fell in love… This is your first time… And you’re running after him?”

His rubbing had turned into jerky movements. “He said I should leave because of Miné.”

Kubra pulled me closer. I rested my head on his chest. “This is tearing me apart. I want to kill him.”

“He is lying, and there is a reason. I don’t know why I ended up in front of him. But I… Can’t help myself.”

“I want you… I don’t care… We’re committed? Aren’t we. You have to love me because of the branding.”

I sat back and looked at him. Right there, I made up my mind to give Kubra what he wanted, regardless of Romero. “Of course I love you. I won’t choose... Never. If it’s not both, then no one… I miss you so much. But before I sleep with you.” Kubra’s eyes seemed a little more optimistic. His hands cupped both my cheeks. I rested mine on his wrists. “I need to know because I will leave after, and I don’t know when I’ll be back.” Kubra pressed his lips onto mine and gently urged me to my feet. His arm circled my waist, and instinctively I jumped. He caught me, carrying me to his room. It seemed that he really didn’t care nor would be angry. “You don’t want to wait to be married anymore,” I asked as he closed the door with his foot.

Kubra went down on the bed with me nestled in one arm, getting comfortable next to me. His other hand unlaced the strings that kept my top strapped over my breasts. Now that it wasn’t dark in the room, he had no trouble with the thing. I wanted him to look at me. “Kubra.” I was a little nervous. It had been so long since we connected on any level. I thought about how I felt the two nights I traveled into his bed. I should’ve done it then. He slowly opened the fabric all the way, taking in every inch of me. His eyes never met mine and followed his hands caressing my body. His fingers stroked down my neck, lingered over my breast, slid over my middle, and stopped at the hem of my pants, unlacing the knot around my waist. It slacked, and he pulled to loosen it even more. His hand ran down between my legs. Agile fingers found the first wetness to slide up and down. Every time he reached my entrance, his fingers pushed in, and every time, a little deeper, spreading and wetting me. “Are you going to say anything?” His next thrust was deep and purposeful, making my back arch. He dropped his lips hard onto my open mouth, deepening our kiss with his tongue, roving and feasting. I tasted him back and was getting there.

I lifted my knees and pushed down my pants, kicking them off. Kubra unlocked our lips and roamed down my neck, over my chest, licking and kissing my breast, coaxing me. He didn’t stop probing and stroking until I was out of breath and cumming. Kubra waited for me to finish and made swift work of his sweatpants. I propped up on my elbows to take in all of him. I had never seen him naked, but he was still not looking at me. His hand ran up my leg as he settled over me, stopping at my knee and bending my leg, easing me open. I did the same with the other. His fingers tightened around my hips and slid up my body until I could feel him pressed against me. My heart was pounding. He leaned down and kissed my chest where my heart was. I needed the release. And after that, I needed intimacy, and Romero wouldn’t give it to me. It had been weeks of pent-up anticipation, and I couldn’t take it anymore. Kubra was waiting… Touching every part of me. I lifted up, took him in hand, and guided him into me. His eyes followed my hand. Kubra swore, settling inside me, fusing his flesh with mine. His eyes finally met mine, “I love you more.”

***

Juliet

I woke up in Louis’s arms the next morning, not on the side of the bed or scooched as far to the edge as humanly possible. I had forgiven him in the heat of passion. I was too weak. Louis laughed next to me. He was in my head again. I wasn’t fighting him anymore. “Did last night really happen?”

He pulled me closer. “All of it.”

“I’m glad it was you. I needed it.”

He squeezed tighter, but his heart was racing. “I won’t lie to you again, baby. Or keep you out of the loop. Will you believe me if I said I learned my lesson?”

“No.”

“Juliet… Did I finally make you cross the line?”

I didn’t like it when he used my name. It happened so rarely. The last few days, it was all I had heard. “How many times do I have to tell you. Nothing you can do… will ever make you lose your place.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“But it is… And I don’t care that you need to hear it. I love you most, Louis. Always… Charlene!” I jumped up and out of bed, pulling on my top as I opened the door. I ran down the stairs and opened the door to Kubra’s room without knocking. I flipped the switch.

“Juliet!”

“Juliet! No!” They both hissed at me. Charlene sat up in her Vampire form. I laughed lightly, seeing her like that, breathing out a slow breath. I didn’t really care what she did. Or who she chose. I was just happy all around. “Boy, but you’re ugly like that.”

She manifested and teleported till she stood towering over me, transforming quickly from one to the other. She didn’t stop and ended up like a dog. “Oh my! I thought you were ugly as a vamp.”

She growled at me, showing her teeth. I giggled nervously. Charlene’s eyes darted over my shoulder. I glanced back. Carl stood gaping at her. He had seen it all. Charlene came back to human butt naked. Not that Carl had not seen her naked before. His eyes traveled over her shoulders to the bed. His head bobbed, and his tongue played over his teeth. Kubra stared him down.

“I’m so freaking glad. I’m not the only one with more than two husbands.”

Carl’s mouth played around with the idea. A smile and a smug look. “I’m still young. I can wait. You can have me when you’re tired of that old fart over there.”

I reached my arm around Carl. “You back now? Where have you been?” He didn’t answer. I left it for the moment. “Are you not supposed to go back?” I asked Charlene.

“Back where,” Carl asked.

“To my other husband,” Charlene said, walking past us.

“What,” Carl said, and he looked at me. The astonishment was there.

Kubra came running out after her. “You are going to say bye this time.”

She moved to my dressing room. I heard my hangers hitting the cupboard as she pulled off clothes.

“Juliet, can you pack a bag for Miné? Just a couple of days.”

I followed, and Carl was short on my heels. I pushed both the guys out, closing the door. “I’ll do it,” Carl said.

“You’re going to be better at this than me.” I sat down in a slump, pouting.

“Let’s first see if Romero really meant it. Maybe I’ll have my first heartbreak.”

“Why Kubra? The chemistry between you and Romero was off the charts last night.”

She walked closer and whispered. “He doesn’t want to sleep with me.”

I laughed lightly. “That’s a good enough reason.”

“He’s been teasing me for three weeks, purpled me up when you almost got me… And then says no.”

I had to laugh and giggle at the absurdity.

“I heard that.” Kubra pounded on the door. “I’m going to kill this guy.”

“Romero is a little intense,” I said.

“You have no idea.” Charlene’s eyes widened.

“Well, Louis and I want to thank you for last night.”

“Especially me.” Louis’s voice came from the other side of the door. He knocked and came in, picking me up and putting me on his lap. My fingers mingled with his.

“Can you imagine having those feelings and not having anyone to take it out on?” She quickly looked back at Kubra and smiled.

Kubra met my eye. He was standing at the door. His hand nervously tapped on the frame like always. I flashed my eyebrows at him.

“But yes, I have to go… I’ll either see you in an hour.” Charlene’s eyes met Kubra’s. “Or in a few days, I think.” She bent down and kissed me. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

She lifted a foot and put it on the daybed, tying her boots one by one. “I’m taking Miné. I’ll bring her back after he meets her… And we had a good talk.” Charlene came up, stomping her feet and fixing her clothes. She walked over to Kubra and kissed him. His hands cupped her face. He didn’t want to let go, and she stood there for a moment. Miné came running out of her room with Carl and a bag. Charlene flung her arms around Kubra’s neck and kissed him desperately. “Bye. I love you so much.” There was a tightness in her throat. I knew how she felt. She bent down and picked up Miné. Carl smiled at her as she manifested. “Thank You.” He waved at her. Charlene disappeared. Kubra couldn’t handle it and rested his head on the door frame, closing his eyes.

“She is amazing. Got used to her abilities so quickly,” Louis said behind me.

“I don’t know… I hope she knows what she’s doing. Romero is more than intense. And with his abilities… She doesn’t look brainwashed, does she? He is something I had never seen before… His skin turns to… nothing. Like a…”

“Shadow?” Kubra ventured. “That’s where we were with the campaign.”

My first inclination was to interfere, thinking of all the implications. I wanted to look at Louis and have him tell me everything that was going on. I chased them all out in anger, remembering Chris was still in the hospital, remembering everything. I got in the shower and dressed as fast as I could. Jessy was already outside waiting. It was his day. Selena was starting her treatment. She would be at my army’s base and report back at night. When I opened the door, all the euphoria of the previous night was gone. I had been on another planet. I saw Charlene and… Louis. I squeezed my thighs together, making frustrated noises. He was waiting outside as I rounded the corner. That smug look on his face.

The other two doors opened. I narrowed my eyes at Michael, remembering what Charlene had said. I was going to have to make the first move to repair whatever was going on... But not yet. I walked over and slid my arms around him. He wrapped me up and pulled me close. “Can I talk to you, please?” He said in a low voice.

“Soon. Just give me a few days.” Michael let me go. My head drifted back over my shoulder. Marcus was watching us. As I walked over, I manifested. He closed his eyes. I snorted. “If I wanted to fight you. I would take you in the ring and do it properly.” He opened his eyes again. I picked him up like a girl, carried him into his room, plopped him down on the chair, and hovered over him. His eyes were on my lips. “If it were you last night… Urgh! See you tonight, Marcus.” I wasn’t going to look back.

Louis held out a hand as I passed him. I looked at it. “You said you forgave me. You can’t go back now.” I leaned in and pecked him on the cheek. “F- You!” He yelled as I ran.

“Oh, I did. And anyway, that doesn’t work on me anymore, Louis,” I scolded, walking away from him. I heard the door slam. Even if I did forgive him. I was having a hard time getting over what happened to Chris.

Jessy greeted me and started chatting right away. He knew just how to take my mind off things. “Soren is at the tower.”

I paused. “Why.” It didn’t really matter. The guys would follow soon. Marcus would be there as a buffer. I checked my watch. “Jessy, please go tell Marcus, will you? I can’t be held responsible for my actions. The way I feel right now…” He was already jogging away. I waited in the bushes. “What did he say?”

“He jumped up and ran to his closet.” I sighed. “One less thing to worry about.” It did help that Marcus didn’t blame me for wanting it at all.

We had gone a little over the time because of Charlene. Yesterday, they were out by eight.

“Relax!”

“Chris might be awake. I don’t even know what I would say to him.”

***

Ira and Silvanus were there that morning. The orange man always greeted me with respect. I liked him. Off Zoreah, he was always in black like me. As if we worked for Ahasuerus. I glanced at the bed. Chris was still asleep. It bothered me, and I scanned the room. “Where is the doctor?”

“We already had an update. Nothing has changed.”

I walked over to check his wounds. It had also not healed at all. “What did you expect? He isn’t much of a creature at this point. He is back to being human. Frail.”

“Should we let him brand Selena?”

Ira’s head jerked up. “What would that help? And how could you even say that?”

“I’m not stupid, Ira. He’s in love with her.”

“Not like that,” Silvanus said softly. “It was more the abstinence than anything else.”

“I think neither of you knows what love is… How can any of you on Zoreah be sure? There have been no brandings there, either… What would happen?” I was sure Ira knew. He just didn’t want to say.

Chris gripped my hand and squeezed. I stood up and pressed my lips onto his. “Chris,” I whispered. He didn’t say anything.