This Is Where I Want To Be

187. So Much For Honor

Fahan

That little vamp had given me the fight of my life. My hand stretched out to rub at my jaw where his knee had landed. It took all my effort, and I dug my dark nails into the wood to pull myself up. Marcus had not killed me. Did he not know how to challenge anyone? How could he have let the chance pass? Marcus could have wiped out all their problems by throwing me in the water? The victor had to claim his place… so much for honor. My eyes darted over the haul of the vessel I was on. It was different and larger than the one I had been on. I groaned and spun around. My gaze drifted to the embassy. Even if it was far away, I could see the one I had been on. It was docked where it was the first time. My fists balled at my side. That boat had a fish. Wobbly, I made my way to the front of the ship, hurting with every step I took, hoping that I was not stranded in the middle of that vast ocean of water. I pulled up the rope connected to two posts on either side. The ends dangled in the air. I gritted my teeth tightly and let out a curse word.

The rocking of the vessel was almost manageable. When I decided to leave the embassy, the waves were nothing like they were at that moment. I circled and took in all that had changed around me. A low rumble in my chest. Although the water was still active, crashing against the rocks… it was mere splashes.

“Hey!” I spun on my heels after taking in the giant wall that had come up out of the water. The voice was so soft in the distance. I covered my eyes with a flat hand, peering up into the sky. It was Dimitrios. He was in one of the watchtowers of the wall that enclosed us on the Island.

“Find a boat with a fish!” I yelled. “Figure out how to steer and get me out of this mess!”

The silhouette of his body disappeared. I faltered and sat down, letting my head rest back on the wood. That world was no place for us. There was a reason it belonged to the Werewolves. I wanted to move all of it to land. How would we even do that after everything that had happened? I rubbed over the cuts on my arms and hands. The corner of my mouth lifted. “Marcus…” I muttered, closing my eyes. I was drained, hungry, and tired. I needed to eat and didn’t have any water to drink. I would have to wait until Dimitrios could come to me. My thoughts jumped to either accepting the water or what I would have to do to get the plates connected to the teleporter or if Ian would make good on his promise. Whether we would have other creatures that would serve me… Ones that could take over this city and the embassy. I needed help. Angry at myself that I killed Avrio and Raas.

***

“Wake up… wake up! Fahan…” Dimitrios shook me and held out water and food. I grabbed at it and stuffed it into my mouth, hungrily devouring every morsel, drinking the container halfway, and pouring the rest over my face and the scars on my hands. That vamp had penetrated my armor.

“You look like you fought in a hundred-day war… what happened?” I was happy that Dimitrios was treating me like a friend again.

“I lost a fight.”

He snorted through that flat nose of his, clapping me on the shoulder. I winced as the pain shot down and up my arm. He pushed his shoulder underneath my armpit and helped me up.

“So you had just cause to fear Marcus… He would be able to kill you?”

I sighed. “He could have. But did not. I keep trying to tell you and Jade that my intentions are honorable… But you see me as the villain and not your leader anymore.”

“Fahan… If we voted right now on who has to lead. The tally would be unanimous.” If I could frown, I would have. “You want to lead us into a new world… It means your ways must change. It is not you against a cause anymore… You can not lead if you do not trust those around you.”

I bobbed my head. I was tired of doing it all alone. Angry for too many reasons. I needed to get a hold of myself, or it would have all been in vain. My thoughts darted to Aries and how much I missed him. I had to forgive myself. Get my son back and make it up to my family.

I pulled out of his arms and looked around me. “Where is my sword? The plates?” My eyes darted at the other boat. Dimitrios pointed to another dragon who held up everything. I growled. Not only did Marcus not kill me, but he left me my plate. I shook my head. Dimitrios was waiting. I gestured for the man to come over. I took the plate and held it out to Dimitrios. “This is a teleporter plate!”

He seemed as happy as I was seeing the thing. “How many?”

“Four.”

Dimitrios’s eyes were as relieved as I was. “Let’s go. You need to activate the teleporter, and then you and I will become scientists.”

It was not easy getting into the smaller boat. We were all terrified. The men seemed to know what they were doing and soon helped me onto the first jetty. Jade was waiting and ran into my arms. Her strength was back, and her lips were pressing onto mine. My eyes were open, peeking down at her. “I have missed you,” I said.

Dimitrios gestured for the other men to continue their business and gave us a moment. Jade pulled away from me. “We did all we could to catch them. We really did. Marcus….”

“I know. Do not worry.” I rubbed my knuckles over the coarse skin of her cheek. I grimaced and looked at my fist. How long did we fight for? “Not even I could defeat him. I would not hold it against you.”

Jade helped me back to the rooms. She wanted to pass the bath. I stopped and stripped the few pieces of cloth I had on. Jade watched me as I stepped into the hot water and sat down on the step. For the first time, I let the soothing sensation run over me. My scars were burning. It might not be the right thing to do. Cold water would have been better. I felt too sticky. I gestured for her to join me. Jade stood for a while. Crouched down and felt the water. I grabbed her and pulled her in, holding her in my arms. She was petrified, clutching onto me. “Jade…” I softly whispered her name. Her mouth was on mine before I could say anything. I let her feet go, and she slowly found her footing. Her lips lifted off mine.

“We should start training in shallow water. Who knows… we might still figure out how to swim. Or move with precision.” Jade said nervously, letting the water run through her fingers.

“You are right. We are not cowards.”

I pulled her back onto me and stripped her coverings. “You do not know how much it means… You accepting everything.”

She took off the last of her leather. Our women had to wear more than the men. In some way, deep down, we looked almost human. Jade was naked, and an acute desire lit up my chest. “Tell me I can have you, or I will die.”

“I want you too.”

“What about Aries?”

She kissed me deeply. Not giving herself a chance to answer.

***

Lyla

The Colosseum was so enormous in the desert that you couldn’t miss it. I circled it for a while and parked my RV at the campgrounds. There were a few others, and everyone greeted me with a raised hand when I stepped out of the driver’s seat. Gigi jumped out behind me. She ran and smelled every person there. They seemed to accept her. I let her stretch her legs and gave her some food. My sole purpose was to find that compound, and I regretted not having a car.

The setup was strange. No security. Although I could see more buildings in the distance connected to the Colosseum, I didn’t think it was the compound. I grabbed my bag. If I wasn’t going to be able to drive anywhere, I would have to go on foot. My first object was something to eat. A small diner and a gas station were on the corner of a road not far from there. More cars were parked in a small lot. I stepped around the building, heading to the bathroom. The doors were unmarked. I tried the first one. Nothing. It was only the third one that moved. Slowly, I pushed the door open. A black car was parked in the space. It was a rather large garage. A few chairs along one wall. One of the corners stood open and cordoned off. It was a teleporter spot. A cubicle-like space. My heart skipped a beat.

“This is a restricted area.”

I spun around. The oldest man I had ever seen came shuffling in. He had difficulty managing his own stride. A little hump made it almost impossible for him to lift his head. Hands shaking. It didn’t seem that he would be able to do anything to me. “I’m sorry. I was looking for the bathroom.”

“Does this look like a toilet?”

“No, but….”

“Yeah, Yeah, the doors are unmarked. Don’t you know you have to get keys from the cashier for the restrooms?”

“It’s not always the case.”

“Well, here it is… So run along.”

“What’s with the attitude?”

He waved a hand in the air. The jingling of keys around his waist caught my attention. My gaze flickered to the black Mercedes and at the keys. If the garage was a Watcher base for the Colosseum, I needed to get in that car.

“What are you still standing there for?” The guy grumbled.

“I’m going to have a bite to eat at the diner. Do you feel like joining me?”

It was such an effort for the man’s body to obey. The hump slowly straightened a little. His narrowed eyes lifted off the ground. “Are you paying?”

“Of course. Starved for some company. I’ve been on the road for a long time, and it doesn’t seem like you would be able to hurt me.”

The man chuckled softly. “You’d be surprised, dearie. But I’ll join you. As you can see… I haven’t had company in a very long time, too. You go to the restroom. By the time you’re done, I’ll only be sitting down.” I wanted to help him. “Don’t you dare! It’s all I got left… Helping myself around.” I hesitated for a moment, wondering if I could try to grab the keys and make a run for the car. “See you in there,” He said and turned away from me, heading for the door.

***

The old guy was sipping on a coffee. I slid into the booth.

“What’s your name?”

“Lyla.”

“Well, I’m Nevin.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Nevin… So tell me about yourself.”

“What would you like to know?”

“Any family? How did you come to work here… and what is it that you do?”

“I have a son. His name is Jessy… I had… a daughter.” His hand shook as he put the cup down in its saucer. Nevin was grey. His hair was thinned out all over his head. The bushy strands around his ears were a little thicker. He had those big bags under his eyes that old people sometimes got. Freckles and dark spots over his skin. The corners of his eyes and mouth were arched downwards. The sagging of his skin… All together, it made him look… sad.

“I had a sister….” I picked up my own cup after the waitress filled it with the black liquid. Nevin’s eyes came up to meet mine. They were almost black in the dim light of the diner. “Her name was Lucy.”

“My daughter’s name was Willa… She was beautiful. The softest black hair that hung to her waist.” Juliet’s hair sprung to mind. Long and gripped in one hand before she cut it. “What happened to your sister?”

I was feeling a little better that day. My clothes were clean, and I had taken a shower before leaving that mansion. The strapless top I had on was covered in flowers, fanning out over my jean shorts. My fingers nervously played with a big silver pendant that hung low on my chest. I didn’t know if Carl would be angry that the van was stacked with those tubes of the most influential creatures. Or if they would even find out.

“Have you seen the news lately?”

“Mhmm,” Nivan closed his eyes briefly.

“The young girl….”

Nevin’s hand reached out, patting mine on the table. “Death is death, I suppose.” His voice was low.

“May I ask what happened to your daughter?”

Nevin’s hand retracted quickly, and he picked up his cup again. “She got married. Her husband… was a cruel man.”

I did the same thing he had done a moment ago and held his fingers in my hand. “That is awful!”

“Unfortunately… My son and I didn’t know… Until it was too late.”

“He murdered her?”

Nevin took a long breath. “Not exactly. Willa… was strong….” He made a little laughing sound. As if being strong is what got her killed. “She… Of what I heard… talked too much.”

That was all the confirmation I needed. Agatha talked too much, and her tongue was cut out. If the vampire women had been pushed down to that degree, Willa might have said the wrong thing and been killed as a result.

“He didn’t kill her himself… No… too much of a coward.”

“This man sounds like an idiot.”

Nevin scoffed. “That is an understatement! But Lucius is dead now… About a hundred years too late.”

“I’m sorry for your loss.” The words were what Michael and Carl had said to me. What Juliet had said to my parents that day in a conference room filled with foreign army generals. It was strange to think that our world was no longer run by leaders but by a round table. “So your sister was killed by that alien?” He shook his head. “Such a sad accident.”

“Accident, my ass!” I pulled my hand away from his, raking my fringe to the one side with a finger, picking up my cup, and taking a big gulp.

Nevin watched my every move. “You’re angry.”

“You have no idea... Accidents are someone slipping and falling. No, what happened to my sister was….”

“Murder?” He suggested.

“Maybe not premeditated! But taking an alien that just manifested for the first time into a club filled with people… It’s not something I can understand… Just yet… All I see is my sister being ripped apart. Eaten like a lion would rip off the flesh of a gazelle.” A tear rolled down my cheek. Nevin handed me a napkin.

“What can I get you?” The waitress asked at last. I was starving, and if I wanted to find out what was going on. I needed to eat. And I needed Nevin to keep talking. We both ordered, and she left.

“What are you doing here?” Nevin asked.

My hand reached for my brown bag on the red bench beside me. I took out a black tube and slid it over the table, wanting to see his reaction. Nevin’s eyes narrowed, and he glanced around the room. Hmph! Everyone knew what those were.

“What’s on there?” He lifted his chin to the little black thing.

If I could teleport, I would go back and watch his daughter’s murder and find out what happened. Maybe trade for information so he could see his daughter one last time. “It’s a video of Marcus… coming and going out of the compound. He is the only one that could help me find a way inside.”

Nevin’s dull eyes watched me from under unkempt, bushy grey and black eyebrows. The hairs were growing in different directions.

“Where did you get this?”

I rummaged again and took out the key, sliding it over the table. “There is a room filled with watcher feed… of all the vampire kids.”

Nevin sat forward and rested his forearms on the table. “Why do you want to go in there?”

“Secrets,” I ventured.

“Mhmm… Knowing isn’t always the best thing… Control is only an empty illusion, Lyla.”

“What is good for us… Isn’t always easy. And I have a duty to the human race to find out what they’re hiding.”

He scoffed. The waitress put our plates down in front of us.

“Your self-righteous seek for justice might not be in the interest of the universe.” I frowned. It was an odd thing to say. My thinking would have to change even more. If I wanted to figure out what the guy had to offer. The interest of the universe? Could the secrets Juliet was hiding… really change … everything? No wonder Carl didn’t care about me in that house. “Tell me? Is this about revenge for your sister?”

Lucy! I clutched the fork in my hand tighter. She wouldn’t even have had time to scream… Did she die instantly? Or was she paralyzed and eaten alive? I placed my fork down on my plate, taking a sip of water. If I found more watcher feed. Would I see her die? “Does it matter?”

“It does if you want my help.” A big smile crossed my lips. I picked up my fork again. The corner of his mouth twitched for the first time. We ate the rest of our meal in silence. I paid, and we made our way to his office. Nevin sat down on one of the chairs along the wall. “What is it exactly that you want?” I stopped circling the car. The windows were tinted, and I couldn’t see anything inside. “You can forget about driving in there. Or walking up to the gate and asking to come inside. There is no way you would be allowed through the gate.”

“I have watched so many of those tubes. But they are incomplete… edited.” Nevin didn’t say anything. “I want to know what’s going on, that’s all.”

His fingers scratched behind his ear. “There is… one way of getting inside.” Nevin stood up fast and nimbly walked over to the car. I took a step back. The old guy was faking. He opened the door and pointed his hand toward the driver’s seat. “Sit down… I won’t kill you. It took you a second to figure out what was going on.” Half running, he made his way around the car and sat in the passenger seat next to me. Keys lay in an outstretched hand. I picked them up and started the car. Nevin pushed some buttons on the touch screen on the dash. Steady hands and fingers knowing what to do. The transformation was rather daunting.

“Here…”

My eyes slowly left the man I was assessing and scanned the map on the screen. “There is nothing there.”

“No… but it’s the compound.” His fingers pulled together, and the map shrunk. He gestured to an area. “From here to here.”

“How?”

“There is nothing out here… No one can come close to the wall. Even if someone stumbled on the road that leads straight to the main gate… They never survived.” He glanced at me with bright brown eyes. Reactions of a teenager. His gaze returned to the screen, and his finger pulled the map to one side. “Do you see this gorge?”

“Yes, I’ve heard about it… Did my research on the area. No one goes in there.”

“No… Because of the mountain lions.” My eyes snapped up. He grunted. “The trek alone to the tunnel’s entrance is two days. Once you enter, there is no way out. The walls of the canyon cannot be scaled. Maybe in some places, you’ll be able to climb out. If you don’t slip and fall to death.”

“Is it that high?”

He nodded. “And around us is just desert. You’ll never make it out. Run out of water before you do. The heat alone will kill you… Because…” His fingers moved more. “This way is the compound, and that way is….”

“Arizona.”

He nodded and said, “And this way….”

“Nevada… So how am I going to get in there?”

“The tunnels are the only way, and they come out in that gorge.”

“Can I drive up to the entrance of that thing?”

“With a car?” He scoffed. “No roads, and even into the gorge, it’s not always broad and a happy place.”

“Can’t you teleport me in?”

“Ha!” He laughed. “No… my son is in charge of the comings and goings of the teleporters… Jessy would be here in a heartbeat if I used mine.” A proud smile formed on his mouth.

“How do they monitor it?”

“Well… you can’t see where anyone went, but you can see if someone did.”

“That sucks! No control but also….”

“The keeper’s responsibility.” He interrupted me.

“You? Have you been here for two hundred years?”

“Yes… I was one of those prisoners you unearthed two nights ago.”

I glanced down at my hands on my lap. I was fidgeting. “You are?” I asked softly. “Not the only one that summed up the situation in a second.”

He laughed again and got out of the car. “So if they are going to kill us all. I’ll have you to thank.”

My gut dropped. I knew it. The further I delved into their world… The more I had to make decisions I didn’t want to. My quest to set the humans free was going to cost me. I jumped out after him. “What did you do?”

“Same thing Juliet did. Try to take over the world.”

“You were rebels?”

Nevin smirked. “You thought we were killers and rapists?”

“Maybe?”

“No… We wanted a better life for our children. Ahasuerus didn’t like it. And… if I never got involved in that coup… My daughter would still be alive… In some ways… Qadir was worse than his father. Anyway… thanks to Juliet….” Nevin chuckled. “My son will reap the benefits of my little antics in my younger days. I’m just glad I didn’t get to go to prison on En-gannim. I would have been in a hole for two hundred years. Never even had the two brats.” He glanced around the room. “This hole was better… In some ways.”

Nevin was busy opening doors and cupboards. He pulled out a large backpack and started stuffing it with things.

“What are you doing? I can’t go hiking in there. I’ll never make it.”

“I’m coming with you.”