This Is Where I Want To Be

191. Temptation

Chris

I had the pink, shiny stone in my hand. The water was still trickling over every crevice I could see. All I had to do was place it in every part of what looked like a door and see if it was a key of some sort. I wished and hoped that one of the rooms would open to reveal more secrets and some answers. I pushed it into the crevice that looked like a keyhole of the first stone arch carved out in the wall. Nothing. I tried the next one. Nothing. The men were trailing me, giving opinions, hovering, and peering over my shoulder. Knowing Soren had helped Ian was a blow to all of us. We all had different theories as to what was going on. Did he not tell me he would not hurt her. Was it so easy for him to push Juliet aside and give the enemy such an advantage? I was desperate, and he was now an uncertainty. Every moment, I felt weaker and weaker. I couldn’t understand it.

“Try rolling it in the water. Sliding it through it. I don’t think it would be a mechanical thing.” The lead scientist said. I bent down and pushed it over the ground. The stone wobbled and rolled through the falling water. It didn’t work. I submerged the rock in the cold pools on the floor, swishing it back and forth a few times. “It’s not water,” I said softly. “It’s not the rock of the mountain,” I said as I tried hitting it against the surface to maybe ignite the supernatural power it would yield.

“Why don’t you try another option.” Selena’s voice came from behind me.

I glanced over my shoulder, smiling. “Any ideas.”

“Well, if you want to open all the doors at once, wouldn’t it make sense that there is a place that could do it. Some distinct surface in the embassy. It’s so big. It could literally be anything in there.

I glanced over to the men. “She is right. It has to be two specific surfaces that match.” The one scientist said.

My head fell down in defeat. I pushed up on my bent knee, buckling. Selena’s arms reached out, and she helped me steady myself. “We better get started.” I glanced around the room for anything strange-looking. Something different than the dark stone the mountain was made of. The only thing down there was the rock and water. I was so sure it would work.

The plate Marcus had used to operate the tunnels was the only thing that differed from anything we had seen. It was in the shape of a glass ball with an opening at one end. It was filled with water. “Have you found anything on that thing?” I tossed the stone at the lead scientist. He fumbled but caught it. He tapped it on the glass. Again nothing. He tried placing it inside and moving it around in the water. Nothing.

“You guys take the floor with the desks in. See if anything there seems to help, and take that ball with you.” Excitedly they scurried off, huddled and murmuring among themselves. “What are you doing here?” I asked Selena.

“Juliet thought you should have someone to protect you. She was right. You look bad.” I chuckled. “You’re so useless now. I outrank you.”

“That you do! I’m sure we still bleed the same.” I sat down on one of the rocks and looked up at her. “Will you sit with me? I want to catch my breath.” I needed to talk to her. We had not had any time together. Selena’s smile was infectious. She punched me on the shoulder. “Ouch! What was that for.” I rubbed the spot for effect.

The water softly dripping around us sounded like light rain in the background. Selena’s smile slowly drifted away. “That was for getting into that thing in the first place.”

I squared my shoulders, turning slightly to her. “You’re upset with me?” The side of my mouth quirked up. “That’s new! All we ever fought about was that I wouldn’t sleep with you.”

Selena laughed. “Those days seem so far away….” She ran her fingers through the water and gathered some in her palm. She pouted her lips and drank the water. As soon as she swallowed, she coughed and gagged. “Yuk! What is that?”

I snickered. “It’s salt water. You are so stupid.” I sighed, chastising myself inwardly. I kept making the same mistake. Doing things I did with Juliet with Selena. I did love her. But was I in love with her. Is there really such a big difference between being in love and love.

“Just like on Earth? They have oceans too?”

I nodded, still chuckling. Selena gathered some more and threw it at me. I wasn’t going to play with her. I swallowed hard, preparing myself. The words were on the tip of my tongue, and I needed to get them out. Her eyes searched my face. “Selena… I’m sorry about what you had to go through.”

“What do you mean?”

“When I saw you with that thing on your face… Being controlled like that.” In a way, I was disappointed that Selena had been on Earth. Juliet had made a decision without asking me.

“It’s the same way I felt seeing you in that bed.” I took her hand in mine. “So thin and pale. I had never seen you sick in all the time you were on Zoreah. Human and frail.” Selena was looking at everything but me. I took in all of her like I always had. Her hair was longer. She had colored it. A silver chain hung from a stud at the top of her ear to the lobe, connected with two fake gems. Piercings. The silver watch caught my attention. A stylish black leather bracelet rested behind it. Her clothes were black leather pants that hugged and stretched over her long legs. A silk light grey, low-cut v-shape shirt hung loosely over her chest. It was low enough that I had caught glimpses of the smooth and tanned slit down the middle of her breasts. Her outfit was finished off with a charcoal leather jacket that stopped below her elbows. I dared to glance up. She was staring down at me. I smiled sheepishly. “Do I not look good? Is my style wrong?”

I cleared my throat. That is not what I was thinking. Selena on Earth made her suddenly more of a person. Human in the right ways and more tempting than she could ever be in those suits on Zoreah. That night, when Juliet had dressed her to perfection, Selena walked out of that room on high heels with her sweet smile, off to go clubbing. Louis never did say anything about where my thoughts had run off to. It was an instant image of my hands pushing up her dress and seating her on the dining room table. Selena would spread her legs and welcome me…. I would finally rest myself between her legs and get it out of my system. I had tried to focus on Juliet. Kept my eyes on her. The night got the better of me. I danced with Selena because Juliet was surrounded by Louis and Marcus. I was happy when Ira told her to go back to Zoreah. Where she belonged. When I went there it was only me and her. Slowly, I shook my head. “No, you do. You look good. It’s perfect.”

“We are a far way from home.”

“Yeah, that’s for sure. Do you miss it? Do you regret coming at all?”

She shrugged. “Some of the memories haunt me.”

I tilted my head. “Like what?”

“Us.”

I squeezed her hand. “Selena… You can take it away. And you can go back.”

She returned the pressure around my fingers and slid her fingers through mine. I forced myself not to glance down and make a big deal of it. Even so, it was the first time she had done that. The warmth of her touch spread through me. The intimacy of such a small gesture. “That’s not what I meant. You won’t be there.” She said softly.

What was going on? We were somehow on the same page. It was like talking to another person. She had never spoken to me about feelings. I groaned inwardly, realizing what was going on. If Juliet really wanted to do this. I would indulge her. This had Juliet written all over her. Selena had no idea what intimacy looked like. An honest, lasting connection that spanned over space and time. I swiveled my body even closer, letting our knees touch. She glanced down at the feeling. Her eyes came up to mine, and she quickly looked away. Selena was being uncharacteristically shy and vulnerable. It had caught me wholly off guard. Did Selena know what love meant, and Juliet had seen it? Excitedly, I stretched out a hand and caressed my bent fingers over her cheek. She blushed and nervously looked down at our hands. I let my fingers trail over her soft skin and played with the chain around the nape of her neck. Selena would bolt. I knew it. Push her just far enough, and the old Riphath would come back. Show me why I never crossed the line.

I let go of the chain and changed hands. I took one finger and pulled her chin toward me. What I saw in her eyes was something that I had longed to see. They were dreamy and tender. Her head was slightly tilted, urging me to take that step. I drew in a small, ragged breath. She was moving slowly and not pushing. She didn’t pounce on me or push and prod. Her lips parted. My eyes darted to her mouth, and my fingers kept moving over the skin I could find. Selena leaned in ever so slightly. A new scent filled the air. It was her. All of her. Everything I wanted all those years. What she would have chosen if she had more options. If she wasn’t so ignorant. Did she finally understand, though? She looked like herself. Talked like herself. But she was somebody else entirely. My breathing deepened, fixed in the moment I had yearned for. I had called her bluff, and she had blindsided me.

“Are you going to be able to do what she had done? Because if I kiss you. It’s over between Juliet and me. It will be you and me… For a long time.” I moved even closer, lifting her leg and placing it over mine. Our lips only inches apart.

“Are you only going to pass the time in my arms?” She whispered.

“Se…le-na….” I huskily murmured out her name. “I have loved you for so long.” My fingers closed around the nape of her neck to pull her in those last few inches. “Are you sure?”

“Every time I look at you, I think about how stupid I was.” Her voice was low and hoarse. My breathing became more shallow with the anticipation. The one thing I had wanted was there for the taking. I was not thrust into this, manipulated, or controlled by others. Selena was mine, in a way. A weakness I could not let go of. “It doesn’t mean to say that I didn’t love you too.” I rested my head on her forehead, taking in the moment. She wrapped her arms around me. Would I fall for her embrace? Her fingers tangled in my hair. “On Earth, they say you only know you love someone when you can let them go. You did that for me, and only now can I appreciate it.” Her breath was hot on my ear. She was warm, and she smelled good. It wasn’t all sex in that moment. I wrapped her closer in my arms and pressed into her. Would I take the chance? Be her first love experience? “What about Jessy?” The words had just slipped out. I was still too much in my mind. Every avenue of regret that could later come up had to be dealt with. I would not share again.

She pushed away. Her head tilted. “Jessy?” “What about him?” Her voice was playful, and the seriousness and attraction had instantly disappeared. I flinched and abruptly got to my feet. “What’s wrong? You were so close, Chris.” The words stung like fire. As if it had branded a moment of insanity into me. It was the exact words that she had always thrown in my face. I quailed, remembering that Juliet got daily updates on my feed. Bullet pointed. I laughed nervously and rubbed my hands over my face, keeping them there as if I was going to be able to hide. Selena’s hand rested on my shoulder, and she pulled me around. “Chris! What about Jessy? What are you talking about?” Juliet killed Stevie because Michael considered it. I had done a little more than consider it. The pushy, tall girl was back, and I had screwed up. I thought about going back in time. Just an hour. Please! I begged the universe. Just an hour. I closed my eyes and willed this mistake to have never happened.

The world around me stopped, and I did go back. Without my powers, without my ability and manifested state of being. But to where? Right in front of Juliet an hour ago. My eyes were not wide in wonder. It closed, and I cursed my stupidity. Thankful that our connection was as easy as desperation. I glanced over her shoulder and dumped it all on Louis. I had never seen anyone giggle like that. His hand covered his mouth. Juliet and Caleb were moving out the door. “What did you forget?” She asked. “You didn’t even notice me. Said ‘hi’ or kiss me.” A slow cuss word crossed my lips. “What’s wrong with you?”

Louis stepped forward. “Selena was asking where you want her, baby?” Louis laughed even more. I glanced over at the tall blond and recoiled at how close I had come to walking away.

Juliet followed my gaze. “Is that why you’re back? I would have sent you back up. Are you that scared? Is that why Louis is laughing?” Juliet and Caleb shared a glance and laughed, walking out. “Selena was on her way.”

I played with the stone in my hand. Since Juliet had disappeared with Michael, jealousy had taken over. I had become obsessed with getting my powers back. So that I could get to her. For what? “Usually, Chris. A deal is sealed and broken with a kiss of death.” The cocky Frenchman was back, all smug that he loved her more than I did. Juliet’s words had hurt me. The fact that she would have gone with Louis that night. She never really wanted me. Louis grabbed me by the arm and pushed me out the door into the teleporter cubicle. He took me to that big field where there was no watcher tech.

“What did I do?” I circled myself, crouched down, and came up again.

“Chris, nothing happened.”

“You’re kidding, right? I have to tell her. She’s going to see it!”

“No! Under no circumstances. Ever. We take this to the grave, and you make up for it the rest of your life.”

“I can’t! I’m guilt-ridden. How could I so easily, after everything do what I just did?”

“We’re all taking Sita to our graves. You haven’t told her about what happened on that bed... And frankly, that was worse. Juliet let it go, not knowing.”

I felt like puking. Another secret of my lack of commitment. How easy it was for me to put my hands on anyone else.

“Do you know what would happen if you told her! Why don’t you play it out and come back again? You will see what I mean. And you are more stupid than I thought if you think one car ride would have made her forget about you! Isn’t that what you said that night. “You have her already.”

I kept circling myself in a nervous attempt to calm my heart. “You had her Chris long before me. You should rather ask yourself what would’ve happened if I had walked away because you slept with her. And need I remind you… You were her first.”

The back of my throat burned as the bile wanted to make its way up and out. “Then why? Tell me why! Once and for all.”

“Chris! It’s such a thin line. You have no idea how she feels about all of you. And me, for that matter.”

“Indulge me.”

“I can’t explain it. Can you? You guys were never meant to be. But over and over, you guys defied the laws of all the galaxies combined.”

“I almost walked away. If Selena had put her lips on mine at that moment, I would have…”

“No! Selena would’ve ruined your life, and you know it! She’s an idiot and would have, a moment after the kiss broke your heart… You’ve wanted to test Juliet for a long time. From the very first day, you came to France. Do you think I never wanted to? I had two days! Two f-ing days to decide if I would share her with, not just you… but whoever she wanted in the future. She wanted Marcus there long before you came. Do you think I made that choice out of what? Love?”

I stopped moving and spun to him. “Why then?”

“Because I don’t want to,” Louis said matter of factly. “I can’t escape how I feel when I only think about leaving her. The way you feel right now! And our courtship was not easy. I managed her. Pushed her down like all the men in her life. Chris, I have made more mistakes than you! Almost kissing the same girl you wanted to for years… If you think about it… It doesn’t mean you don’t love her. You were never really tempted until today. When Selena showed even an ounce of sense… You can’t think that for five thousand years, you would never have any issues between you.”

“S- I feel like I did those few weeks before my first full moon. The same feelings I had that night in the car. I was so jealous before all of it.” My hands covered my face. “I couldn’t think straight. I was so angry about you and her. I had walked away from her so many times by then.” I paused at my own words, thinking.

“You chose Sita. Why Chris?”

“I didn’t want to hurt her. I… I knew I wasn’t good enough. You… were better for her… That something was wrong. I was so angry and confused.”

Louis looked at his phone. “The only thing that was wrong.” He glanced up at me and back at his phone. “Was… you were going to manifest. And after that. Have your first full moon coming up.”

“You don’t think? Tell me it hasn’t been yet.”

He shook his head. “Only the twenty-ninth… Would it be that easy?”

“Jeez, I hope so. Traveling through time was just as easy! One full moon and everything falls into place… And after that, I’ll let Silvanus beat me! Just to get over this feeling.”

“It does explain why you felt like you did on Earth. And got your strength back as soon as you landed when you got out of that bed. You were even ready to sleep with Juliet. Your energy was back… If we had not come back and told you about the war. Why you are moving backward on En-gannim.”

“And why my grandfather never recovered.”

“It’s Earth!” We said at the same time.

“What are you guys talking about?” Juliet’s voice came from the building. I glanced at Louis. He was biting the corner of his lip hard. He felt as guilty as me. Lying to her! Again!

Me [ Read her, you idiot, and find out if she knows ]

He waved an impatient hand at me. “Chris did something, baby.”

“What do you mean?”

I held my breath. If Louis wanted to tell her. So be it.

“He traveled back in time.” Louis blurted out.

I blew out the breath I was holding. He had every opportunity to get me out of his life. Louis smirked with all the power he held over us.

“Why?”

“He was desperate, and it kinda just happened. But he also figured out how to get his powers back. I think. We hope.”

Juliet wasn’t buying it. “I’ll just go to the tunnels and check. I know by now when your lying… Louis.”

Louis stepped forward, pretending to go back to the building. To indulge her. As he passed her, Louis grabbed her around the waist. “Go, Chris! Make sure!” Louis grunted with every elbow he got in his gut. Juliet squirmed in his arms as I literally ran for my life.

“Come back here, Mr. Rheed! You won’t get away with this!”

I looked at her, kicking and screaming. I felt the same way as I did in that car. How had I been so stupid? All the feelings were the same. How I struggled to love her. She would always be the one that made me cross that line. “Maybe not!” I yelled. “But I am the male lead. And I have to try. Aren’t they all douche-bags anyway.”

“Come back. I won’t let this go.”

I left anyway. I would make sure she never found out that my hands had been on another woman.