This Is Where I Want To Be

163. There Is Always Another Level

Louis

“The s- had really hit the fan this time,” I said out into the darkness. The rain was still coming down in buckets outside. Juliet and I had gotten to a place where our foundation was as solid as it ever could be. She gave me everything. All of her… I had broken it down again… Caleb and Kubra came in at the same time Juliet left, helping Chris back to En-gannim. There was no point in telling him we “told him so.” In the end, he had done more than I had. It wasn’t only Marcus that left Michael there.

The three of us were left to stare at each other in turn. There was no point in Michael telling us that we should have left him. “It seems like Caleb was right. This did change everything. And we won’t be able to count on Chris to bring her back. To help her through it.”

“It was inevitable,” Michael said, sitting down, running his hand over his hair.

“What do you mean?” Marcus asked.

“I mean… we didn’t make it easy for her.” Michael was nervously playing with her beard. “Can you think that her with two grown men over two hundred? Two more that are just coming into their own as creatures would be easy to handle? It had been non-stop for too long… If a person needs to accept their situation. They’re going to have to set boundaries at some point.”

I half fell onto the bed next to him. “We got our schedule. We got the hierarchy sorted out. Juliet where we wanted her. None of us will have to work with her and fear that the situation will blow up at any moment.”

Marcus sat down in the corner. His elbows on his knees, head hung low.

“Look, the four of us… We are not the easiest of guys. It was going to be push and pull either way. A fight for dominance and that place in her heart.” I continued.

“Now, none of us has her. And she doesn’t have what she wanted.” Marcus said softly. The emblem moved around in his fingers. “Why must it always be something so big that makes us sit down and talk.”

Michael made a nervous sound. “I didn’t even realize she knew… She had me fooled. I had thought she would explode and go crazy, and it would blow over.” He held up a vile. “I was ready to stab her if she was going to flip.”

“Anything would have been better than that. I don’t like the idea that she will be handling us with her mind and not her heart from now on.” The thought terrified me. At some point, she will not willingly cross a line but be pushed over it.

“How serious was she, Louis?” Marcus asked.

Juliet had looked at me and wanted to say something or think about something. She just didn’t. I was locked out again.

We sat there for some time, not speaking again. When Chris came back, Marcus and I knew we had made a mistake. Our decisions had hurt someone. We were both so selfish and full-grown Vampires that we didn’t count the cost. If it was Michael, she never would’ve forgiven us. Juliet thought that it would’ve been better if it was Michael. Her own subconscious thoughts had betrayed her in the heat of the moment. Juliet didn’t want it to be anyone. She would’ve done something. Even if it cost her life and the baby’s. All of us. In that regard, I didn’t think Juliet would ever change. I couldn’t put that on Marcus. She was so close to leaving if he didn’t do what he did.

When I didn’t answer, Michael ventured, “I want to say that we should take the day….”

Marcus jumped up. “We can’t. Not again. No more days, Michael. Every time you say that. It creates friction… No more time! This is our life. I wanted to rest because my whole life was always something someone else wanted of me. And my complacency has cost me so much already… If I stand back now… After that! I might as well leave. Then, there was no point in sending Soren away. I have to be there.”

Marcus was the first to leave. He was going back to En-gannim. It was up to Michael and me if he would ever see her in the next year.

“Wait, Marcus…” Michael said. He stopped at the door. “It’s time you tell me all you have to say. We need to cross this bridge. It’s because I’m the outsider that this happened. One you guys don’t see as part of the family yet. There is this contention between us.”

“Well, that’s easy... It’s because of who you are. You loved her before any of us did. You knew her before any of us did… You love her the most. And she knows it. I don’t think you have any limits with her.” I said truthfully.

“For me… I’ve always had a problem with you. I saw you the same as Soren. Someone we could….”

“Get her to let go,” Michael suggested.

Marcus nodded slightly. “I thought she saw you like family. Not…”

“Another addition,” Michael said, playing with the ring on his finger.

Marcus bobbed his head. “I didn’t even know you guys had been physical way before any of us. Or when she was pregnant. I was so stupid. Arrogant. Everything was fine when you were still human. When you guys had not slept together… Nothing was going on with you. And then it slowly escalated… I came back, and you two had… crossed that line in front of me… I don’t think I’ve ever really accepted that you were there. Not even then. I never knew you. You had all your issues, and I was sure you would fall away being an outsider.”

Marcus turned around regarding Michael.

“Then she did sleep with you… She drew a line in the sand. She honored you with the final branding. Louis made her take off those stupid plates.” Marcus looked at the corner where they hung. “With Louis, it’s different. I don’t know if the Vampire dynamic changes anything. Or if I knew that Louis was the only thing she would never let go of. But of course, we are competing for that second place in her heart… And I… have not fully accepted you.”

Marcus paused and didn’t want to finish what he was thinking, so I said what he couldn’t. “And you hurt her. You crossed another line… I wanted to kill you. I still don’t trust you around her… I’m with Marcus on this one. It was fine until she branded you. You became an uncertainty overnight. And like everyone else, Michael. You’re going to have to prove yourself to us. Juliet is going to have a hard time trusting you after this, and… Your relationship isn’t really on solid ground.”

I also stood up, heading for the door. “I said that I would keep you in line. And I will. All of you. Marcus might be king. But when it comes to Juliet, I’m putting my foot down. If you touch her again like that. It will be me and you in that Colosseum.” Michael seemed almost defeated. His head hung low. “Look, I get that she might have played the Marcus and baby thing wrong. But it was to get a rise out of you. Because you don’t want to open up. If you keep holding back, you will keep hurting her. And that line is what’s keeping you out of this family. It’s your own fault… You do nothing from your side… You have become a Vampire overnight. Blaming everyone else for your problems.” I held out a hand to him. He stared at it. “If we don’t all go to En-gannim. Right now. We might as well break up.” He grabbed my hand. I was glad he wasn’t that far gone. “We have all fought for her not to grow up. Since those few months, she had to push down her personality. But… All we do is force her to anyway. It’s inevitable. Let’s not try and break her in the process.” I said as I left the room.

The two men followed me. When we arrived at The Tower, we headed up to Juliet’s office. I grabbed a bucket of tubes and picked a desk. Michael did the same. Marcus sat down on her seat, taking a moment.

“The first thing we have to do is figure out who is onboard on En-gannim and flush out who stabbed us in the back. It has to be someone who knew Avrio.”

I stepped over to a cabinet and took out the registry for all the workers at that time. I blew it up and went through all the names. One stood out. “Where is Isla? Did she ever come back from helping Avrio’s wife? I think we will get some answers there.”

“Louis, you go… And see if Avrio’s sons are on board with their mother taking over. Michael, you find out where Lucius’s kids are. And make sure you know where every one of my half-brothers is. The ones that came from Earth.” Marcus said, taking control. “I’ll be making sure my uncles are all accounted for. I can’t believe that Ahasuerus didn’t meet with his closest bastard before leaving… I’ll meet with my grandmother.”

I followed orders and left. But before I went to Avrio’s island, I went to another one. There was just one Vampire at the station. “Where is Liam?” He pointed down the road to the shop. I liked where they had settled down. It was quiet and had a warm, soft breeze. It wasn’t a huge place, but it was Cindy’s home. I hadn’t checked in with them in a while. Liam had also kinda stood back since they came to En-gannim. It sometimes felt weird not having the two grownups there to keep us all in line.

“Hey, Louis!” Liam yelled and waved. He had some tool in his hand. Soren took it from him and kept going with whatever they were doing. He held out a hand and pulled me onto his chest. “How are you? I can’t remember when last we saw each other.”

“Neither can I…” I scanned the surroundings. “What is Cindy doing?”

“She is with her mother and father most days. They are going on with the business they had before we ever left.”

“Does Juliet ever come and visit with them?”

He shook his head regarding me. “Is it me you came to see or Cindy?” My gaze flickered over his shoulder to Soren, who was in earshot. He glanced back. “Soren… Why don’t you give Louis and me a moment.”

Soren came over and shook my hand. He stared at me for a moment and walked away. “She’s not doing too great. Why I’m here.” Soren stopped walking. “If I can be honest…”

“No! Don’t be.” Soren walked away. “I’m going to The Tower to check on the Palmyra deliveries.”

“Why hasn’t he moved on?” I asked as soon as Soren disappeared into the teleporter.

“I think his feelings for her… ran a bit deeper than you all figured… Why are you here? And what’s going on with my daughter… Do I need to move back home… You failing in your duties, Louis?”

It caught me off guard. I did feel like I was failing. All I did was disappoint her. Liam nodded in understanding, clapping me on the back. “I rather feel like breaking down.”

“Is it about Caleb?”

“Caleb?”

“He came here crying. Cindy had to console him like a child. Put him to bed… I had never seen him like that. And you know what… He asked me not to interfere. But it’s not like I didn’t want to go over there and help her.” I had seen the anger in Caleb. I didn’t know he was that affected. I was definitely failing. I was quiet for too long. “Louis, are you going to say anything? What happened to Michael? Did he lose his powers, and she’s covered even more? Or what?”

“She shut down again. Like that time in France.”

“F- Louis. I’m rather sick of you guys not treating her right. You knew what you were getting into! When are you going to get it through your skull? She isn’t your average woman.”

“It wasn’t Michael… Chris tied Marcus and me up. Exchanged himself for Michael and has lost… Everything.”

Liam sat down on a stool behind him, eyes cast down. “And?”

“Caleb and Juliet knew about it. Or rather, I think she found out he was here, and she was following him. It was too late by then.”

“Those two… They’re made from the same mold. It’s like he’s her twin rather than her child.”

“Your mold… You mean?”

Liam shrugged. “Why didn’t you want to help Michael?”

“It’s about safety, Liam. Keeping everyone alive is my number one priority.” It was my excuse anyway. I was too angry at Michael.

“All she wanted was to be happy… I made the first mistake with Marcus. None of this is your fault. I just hoped….”

“I would at least help.” I sat down beside him. “So much for that idea. All I see is the disappointment in her eyes. She’s shut me out again.”

“Well, that is a Juliet thing. She has high standards… Do you know how I felt after Marcus? She couldn’t even speak to me for years. All I knew was the little girl I once had… Grew up because of me.”

“I’m scared of losing her. I don’t know what I would do if she decided to take me off that pedestal she has me on.”

Liam looked at me with a knitted brow. “Would you leave?”

“I don’t know. If I don’t have her anymore… What’s the point?”

“So all your sacrifices were for naught?”

“No… I made them easily. Too easily. I would make them again and again. Juliet has given me this… authority over her life… that I can’t understand. So many times, she’s told me that she chooses me above all of them.”

“So she expects more of you. Do you wish she never had?” Liam asked in a low voice.

I stared out over the pink water. The sun was three-quarters in. I didn’t have much time left if I still wanted to get anything accomplished on Avrio’s island. I stood to my feet. “I got to go. New Regime at the house… Juliet gave the pendant to Marcus, and she won’t be ruling anymore.”

Liam’s head snapped up. “I’ll go see her soon. If it’s that bad… she will plummet when it all settles in.”

“Yeah… She was really holding back on us. Not one emotion…Thank You… Tell me, what happened to Isla? Did she ever meet anyone? What is going on with the camps, and how are the vamps getting married these days.”

“Nothing has changed… Isla is still on Avrio’s island with his wife. Soren goes to check up on her. It seems all legit.”

“I’m on my way there.”

Samuel came walking down the road. I lifted my chin to greet him. He knew me better than anyone. I didn’t have the strength for a set down. He would not let me walk away unscathed. “I’m leaving. See you soon.”

Liam followed my gaze and chuckled. “I would run, too, if I were you. But after I tell him. You’ll probably see us tomorrow at The Tower.” I drew in a breath and headed for the teleporter.

***

Romero

The end of the forest was in sight. I had never been that happy to see Sirrah again. We had eaten and had a good night’s rest. There were two more stages to our journey, and we had no water left for the one to come. Charlene and I were walking beside our horse. She was on one side and me on the other. I thought she would be happier getting out of there than she was. Since we woke up, she had been quiet. The previous night, she was so busy making the fire and helping, sitting with me, and kissing me. That morning. Not one touch.

The trees stopped so abruptly. Almost forming a tight line to our right and left. I could remember it from when I came with my father for the first time. It was an easy journey back then. Having a bundle of emotions and spirit wrapped up in one woman made the difference. I could not blame it all on Charlene. I was also not controlling myself anymore. Emotions were making it so much more difficult. It felt so good that I could say it. But… Charlene’s eyes were fixed on the ground. They had been for some time. There was something wrong… I thought that she might want to be quiet for the beasts in the forest. She stopped when her next step would have been a fall. She finally looked up and physically jolted at the prospect in front of us, stepping back in haste. Her head darted to our left and then took some time to move all the way over to our right. She stood staring out in front of her after it all sunk in.

As soon as the trees stopped, there was a little sandy edge of space between us and a chasm so far down that you could not see the bottom. It was so vast it seemed to never end. Across it… Stepping stones with flat surfaces that balance on natural pillars. They covered the ravine from us to the horizon. Far enough apart that you could not walk over them. You needed to jump. They were also not sturdy or predictable. The pillars were carved away by millennia of vicious winds.

She plopped down, defeated. “I thought you would love this. You can practice your teleporting.” I joked.

“And if I miss my target?”

“You’ll die.”

Her head slowly came up. The horse was still in between us. “Why the hell did you want to bring this fat ass with us to go over that?” She pointed out with a finger.

I hoisted myself into the saddle and gave my steed a kick in the ribs. It nimbly jumped forward with perfect agility. We quickly landed on the first stepping stone. “The poor thing has had nothing to eat for days.”

“It is bred for the desert. It will last. It does not have much stamina to go long distances or fast… But he will keep. And the next leg of our journey will be a reward for you both.”

The first stone surface was at least large enough for us to land on and walk around. I jumped off the beast and stood on the edge, holding out my hand to see if she would take it, giving her another test.

She didn’t get up, biting her bottom lip. Her eyes were fixed and aimlessly peering out in front of her. “If you tell me, that is all we have to contend with. I’ll consider it. But if you tell me, there is some giant alien monster guarding this… This… Hole. I’m not going.” She looked away from me.

I chuckled. “There is no guardian. No more beasts for the rest of our journey. No more raiders… Only me…”

Her eyes came back to me and my outstretched hand. “I need to hear you say that you at least have strong feelings for me. Or I’m going home. I told you how I felt. You…”

My smile fell. I blinked slowly, opening my mouth and closing it again. “If you doubt me. Why are you here?”

“Because I’m in love with you! I told you. I’ve never felt like this before.”

“I’m in love with you too. From the first time I saw you. I knew you were my mate, Charlene. I didn’t want you to go home because I didn’t want you to. I want you! I even knew before I stopped controlling myself. Yes, I might have done something stupid to keep you here… Because I needed you to want to be my mate… Fall in love with me… If that is how you say it on your world.”

She was next to me, teleported right into my arms. Not even going to jump for it. “This love word… You use. What does it mean for you? We mate for life, and I had chosen you. Do you not understand that. I am not the one that has to decide here. I have already decided.”

Her lips pressed onto mine. I let go of our horse and wrapped her up. “Why don’t you sleep with me?”

I pushed her away. “No.”

“What, why?”

“Because. You said that all I needed to do was tell you I had strong feelings for you. And I did. Other than that. There was no ultimatum.”

Charlene laughed. “You’re so weird.”

“So, you keep saying. But you also keep staying.”

She laughed again. Those lush lips of hers and her cute nose. Those chubby cheeks were so… inviting. “At least tell me you want to sleep with me.”

“No. You should be here not just for that.”

Her mouth fell open. “So you think that’s all I want from you? Your body?” Charlene started laughing. She didn’t stop. The rock under us moved. Our horse had jumped to the next stone.

“Oh, S-.” She yelled and teleported to it, getting the reins. “Will it be able to jump with both of us on?”

“We will find out.”

“You’re not very comforting.”

“Are you going to tell me what you were thinking about while walking out of the forest?” I hovered over the edge of the stone, taking the leap and landing on the rock they were on. She grabbed my hand, pulling me close to her body.

“No.”

Our eyes met. She didn’t want to tell me. I leaned in and closed the gap I felt was there. It would not work if it was all physical for her. But yes, I wanted her in that way. I helped her vault up. It had become a small thing we could do to touch each other. I landed behind her. Our horse took the next jump effortlessly. I was glad we had one of them.