This S.O.B. System

“What’s a System?” Asher asked seriously. 

 

Doug hesitated a moment before asking, “Like an OS?” 

 

“No, not an Operating System. You know what the fuck I mean,” Asher said sitting down cross-legged on the bed. Some curious stains now visible on the sheets, he chose to ignore them. Doug squinting his eyes, Asher knew he needed a push. “I saw you use it like 3 times when you were in school. It was weird. You and I would be sitting at lunch and you’d zone out. Looking at me, but not looking at me. On a few occasions I’d see you push some invisible button a few inches from your face. Then poof you’d see me again. I thought you were doing drugs or something.” Doug letting out a long sigh Asher added, “That is until this blue screen popped up in my face reading, ‘Contratulati-.”

 

“Don’t say it,” Doug ordered. His face stern as he stood up. Asher averted his eyes from the unwanted genitalia view. Doug dressed quickly and ran to the bottom of the stairs yelling up, “Ma!” When no one answered after a few more yells he sighed and walked back to the bed. His gaming chair coming with him he sat down. Another weird stain catching Asher’s eye he decided to join Doug off the bed. A bean bag chair close at hand he positioned himself at the foot of the bed and plopped down. 

 

“First of all, what do you know about the System?” Doug asked. 

 

“Wait, first I really need this screen to go away. I assume I have to pick yes or no, but I wanted to talk with you first.” 

 

“Just think about it, you idiot. But think really hard about minimizing it, and it will. Then when you want to bring it back, think about it again,” Doug chided. “I know it’s not your strong suit. But did you try anything before running here?”

 

Feeling stupid, Asher did just that, and the large screen turned into a small square at the top right of his field of vision. With a sigh, Asher finally looked around. The carpet was clean, Doug’s PC wasn’t littered with empty energy drink cans. The place actually looked like a real room. Not everything covered in a haze of blue, he smiled at his old friend. “Do what now?” He asked. 

 

“What do you know about Systems?” Doug repeated. 

 

“I mean not much. News paints them as not that common. I’ve heard some internet posts about crazy otherworldly powers. I’ve read a couple of fan fictions about them,” Asher admitted. 

 

“Good. Fanfics are pretty close. I always assumed some of those writers had some. But they don’t all get it right. First of all, I will need you to sign this,” with a wave of his hand another screen blocked Asher’s view. 

 

This screen a transparent blue it read: 

 

SYSTEM CONTRACT:

Signee will not disclose secrets of the issuer.

Issuer will not disclose secrets of the signee.

Y/N

 

“This is a System Contract. One of my abilities. The first rule of Systems is you don’t talk about them. I’ve done a lot of research online, and everyone always agrees that you don’t tell all of your secrets. Since I didn’t have anyone to guide me, I know how scary it can be. I’ll make things easier for both of us,” Doug said. 

 

Hesitant for a moment Asher decided to just go with it and clicked ‘Y’. “So does this make me your husband now?” Asher asked, putting on a hopeful look. 

 

“You wish,” Doug responded. “No, this just ensures mutually beneficial assistance. From now on we can’t tell each other’s secrets. And if we tried, then the System would punish us.” 

 

“Punish us, how?” Asher asked curiously. “Like a kinky way?”

 

“Don’t know, I’ve never broken a contract. And I don’t plan to find out.” Doug quieted down as he appeared to gather his thoughts. 

 

“What if I was to tell your mom about the time you stole her car to see that concert across town?would that be considered breaking the contract? Even though the secret happened before the contract?” 

 

“Probably,” Doug said after more thought. “I wouldn’t risk it. The System works in mysterious ways my young padawan.”

 

Both became quiet, Asher thought of all the times he had been in this room. Doug was always the older cool kid in the neighborhood. Though only a year apart, Asher lived a very sheltered youth. This basement was where he had learned his first curse word. Played his first video game. Learned what manga and eventually what hentai was. 

 

His familiarity of the room was why it was such a shock to be able to see the floor. This was Doug’s sanctuary from his folks. As such, it was typically ankle deep in crap. Now it looked like a room instead of a trash bin. There was also a fresh smell in the air. 

 

Whatever Doug had been up to since graduation had done him well. Not only was his room completely different but the man himself was. Always on the heavy side, Doug had denied joining Asher on runs for years. Now he looked muscular and confident. Although the female escapee from earlier may have something to do with all that. 

 

They sat in silence for a time before Doug finally nodded to himself and spoke, “Alright. I’ve never told anyone this, but with the contract I don’t see why not. I will go through my experience. Then try to walk you through yours.” After a nod from Asher he began. “Now-”

 

“Is this a long story?” Asher asked, cutting him off. 

 

“I just said I’ve never told anyone,” Doug said angrily. “Now no interru-”

 

“I’m just wondering if I need popcorn,” Asher added. 

 

“No, you don’t, you stupid fuck. Now shut up before I change my mind,” Doug said, getting angry. Asher fought against the smile before he nodded for him to continue. “Now, before I was so rudely interrupted. I was going to say. My System woke up about a year and a half ago. So senior yearish. I was hitting on Cassie Euler and she asked me to set her up with that ass of a jock Tim Clifford.”

 

“Ew,” Asher said. He had known how much Doug had a crush on Cassie back then. When Doug stopped talking about her, Asher assumed he lost interest. 

 

“I know, right?” Doug replied not caring about the interruption. “Anyway, like the beta male I was, I agreed. I spoke to Tim, mentioned Cassie. Set them up. Low and behold a screen pops up in front of me. Guess what System it offered me.” 

 

“Uhm Jackass System,” Asher offered. 

 

“Close,” Doug replied, not minding the comment. They always spoke to each other this way. “Congratulations,” He announced in a haughty voice, “you have awoken the Pimp System.” 

 

Asher’s eyes widened. Holding back laughter he really would have let it escape if he didn’t have his own crazy System. “You’re kidding me,” he whispered. 

 

“I am not,” Doug said. “The System on high decided I was a pimp.” 

 

“This stupid ass System,” Asher cursed under his breath. 

 

“Yep.” 

 

“So what did you do,” Asher asked. 

 

“What do you think I did? I accepted. When that happens you are given a gift or two, some power, and your own status screen. You get experience points based off of your System methods or quests, and can level up. The level ups give you 5 stat points to distribute how you want. The higher your level, the stronger or smarter you become.” After a slow calming breath he continued, “Now the System doesn’t come out and say this stuff. Most of what I know is just playing around with my status screen. It’s taken me a while but I’m currently level 6 with my System, and close to 7.” 

 

“Level 6?” Asher asked. He felt like that was a low level. 

 

“Yep, first few levels are pretty easy. But after that it becomes a slow grind. Besides, my way of gaining experience is unique.” 

 

“How unique?” Asher inquired, afraid of what his own System might entail.  

 

“I have to pimp people out of course,” Doug said. Asher, unable to hold in the laughter, he let it loose. When he was done Doug continued. “Now the weird thing is I pimp people out from the System.” 

 

“How does that work?” Asher asked, trying to be serious. 

 

“The System notifies me when someone with a sex related class in the area awakens. I discuss with them through the System with one of my abilities. If they’re interested, I put them in touch with clients. They make money and XP, and I do the same. Kind of a win-win honestly.” 

 

“Are there a lot of these sex related classes?” Asher asked very hesitantly. 

 

“Not really. I manage 7 right now. There’s an Enchantress, Seductress, even a few with Prostitute as their actual System. Also there is an Incubus and Succubus that I am working on securing. Heck I got a notification just this morning on a new one.”

 

“Yeah, I know,” Asher said under his breath. Luckily Doug wasn’t paying attention. 

 

“What else do you want to know?” He eventually asked, leaning back in his chair. 

 

“Is it worth it?” From the confused look on his face Asher clarified, “is having a System worth it?”

 

“Oh hell yeah,” Doug said without hesitation. “Imagine being able to get stronger, smarter, faster simply from sitting around your house. I do about 1 hour of work a day now, dude. It was a lot of work to start, but now it's nothing. Rest of the time I spend on video games and college courses. I mean, you know how long I struggled to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. The System gives me that. It makes me what I’ve always wanted to be.” 

 

“A pimp?” 

 

“No ass…” Doug said as he thought for a moment. “It makes me confident. You saw that girl here earlier.” 

 

“The prostitute?” Asher blurted out. 

 

Doug smacked him across the face. “Can you stop being sarcastic for a minute?” He asked

 

“Sorry,” Asher said, rubbing his cheek. He really did assume that was one of his prostitutes. “Been a long time since I’ve seen you. I- Imiss this,” he admitted. 

 

Doug’s eyes softened then he nodded. “Yeah I guess that’s mostly my fault. Takes a lot of time to set up a business. I really only figured this all out like a month ago. Well anyway no, she wasn’t a prostitute. I’ve never met those people. I have descriptions and some pics without faces to advertise. But they don’t know me. I don’t know them. No, she was a girl from one of my business classes. Since I’ve received the System my whole outlook on life has changed. I workout, though I really don’t need to. I’ve got confidence up the wazoo because I know I’m the strongest person in the room. The System doesn’t just make you supernatural, it makes you who you want to be. I mean 6 months ago, I never would have slapped you because you could kick my ass. Now I’m sure I could kick yours.” 

 

Full of doubt, Asher looked at his own body. One of the few things Ash didn’t skimp out on was working out. He was at the school gym 2 hours a day. Near every muscle in his body popped when he moved. Hell, Asher had finally got the 6 pack he always dreamed of after months of work. 

 

Eyeing Doug he said, “Prove it.”

 

Doug put on a smile as he scooted his wheeled chair back to his gaming desk. Moving a monitor out of the way he put an arm on the edge in a challenge. Ash clasped the arm ready to wrestle. Feeling the grip of Doug’s hand, Asher lost a little of his confidence. “Now none of your fancy powers. Alright?” 

 

“Don’t worry, this will be all me,” Doug said with a confident smile. 

 

They locked eyes for a moment. Then in an unspoken signal they both pushed down with all their might. Unsurprisingly Asher slowly moved Doug to the other side. Panic in his friend’s eyes Asher let his cocky grin take over his face. When they were an inch from the tabletop they stopped. 

 

Eyes locked, Doug dropped the scared look and stole the cocky smirk. The muscles in his arms began to writhe as he put real strength behind his movement. Their arms crashed against the hardwood. Asher looked at his beaten fist shocked. 

 

“What the hell,” Asher said, amazed. Doug looked way stronger and thinner, yes. He didn’t look any bulkier than Asher though. “How?” Was the only thing the loser could ask. 

 

“You’ll see,” Doug said. “All you have to do is accept your System.”