To Me, Who Doesn’t Love You

— So, you’re returning to work next week? Your body must still be recovering—are you sure you’ll be okay?

Hearing the concerned voice over the phone, Suhan paused briefly before speaking.

“I’m fine. It’s not too much for me now. Besides, since Yeonseo will be at home taking care of the baby until next year and won’t be able to handle work matters, I need to get back as soon as possible to keep things running smoothly.”

Hearing Suhan’s firm resolve, the other person nodded reluctantly. It had already been 100 days since Bada entered the world after much struggle. The baby, whose skin had once been red, now had a soft peachy complexion, and her silky hair had grown in delicately. She was so adorable it was impossible not to fall in love with her.

Though Bada couldn’t yet babble properly, she would let out faint cries or make soft, chick-like whimpering sounds. Leaving such a precious little one behind to return to work wasn’t easy for Suhan, but it was unavoidable.

It was Yeonseo who had decided to extend his parental leave. According to the company’s policies, parental leave was set to align with the legally mandated period, but employees who wished could extend it for up to three years.

Suhan, having already taken almost a year off due to post-accident recovery, felt it would be awkward to extend his leave further, considering how other employees might perceive it. Being a key player at the company, it was crucial for Suhan to return to work and resume his responsibilities. Naturally, Yeonseo, who had been in a support role rather than a leading one, volunteered to take charge of childcare.

‘Are you really okay with that? People will talk…’

Suhan’s concern was for Yeonseo’s position at the company. While Yeonseo had consistently delivered outstanding results, he had a quiet, behind-the-scenes working style that often led to his skills being underestimated. Since Suhan might eventually step into a managerial role, it was essential to make Yeonseo’s accomplishments more visible. Misunderstandings about the company’s owner taking on only light duties wouldn’t benefit anyone.

Therefore, Suhan thought it necessary to place Yeonseo in a more prominent department to showcase his abilities. However, Yeonseo was adamant about taking on childcare himself.

That much was true. Compared to Yeonseo, who was highly competent at work, Suhan’s background often left him at a disadvantage. Yeonseo’s family had likely accepted Suhan because they hoped he could lead the company in place of a less capable son. They had probably realized early on that this would ensure the company’s longevity. So, in terms of what was best for both the company and Suhan, respecting Yeonseo’s wishes made sense.

Still, Suhan couldn’t shake his lingering doubts. He genuinely wanted Yeonseo to receive the recognition he deserved.

It wasn’t that Yeonseo was bad at parenting, but there was an undeniable feeling of a child looking after another child. That made Suhan uneasy as well.

When Suhan pressed him again, Yeonseo answered firmly, displaying his determination.

Well… if he seemed happy with it, that was enough. Suhan, having no intention of overturning an already settled decision, reassured the person on the other end of the call.

“I’ve discussed it thoroughly with Yeonseo, so there’s no need to worry too much.”

As always, the continued concern felt a little burdensome to Suhan, but not unpleasant or unwelcome. He understood now that this care came from genuine familial affection rather than guardedness. Though he still found it awkward and a little embarrassing to accept such kindness without reservation, reminding himself of the times he’d scolded himself helped him keep his composure.

Taking those words to heart, Suhan began to accept things at face value rather than reading into them too much, which significantly reduced his defensive reactions. Though he still had to battle negative thoughts like “But they started it” or “There’s no way this is purely well-intentioned,” his life was changing in subtle but meaningful ways. His perspective and attitude had softened, even if the transformation wasn’t dramatic.

Returning to the present, Suhan finished his phone call with his father-in-law and prepared to join Yeonseo, who was looking after the baby alone. But before he could end the call, an unexpected suggestion came his way.

It seemed Suhan’s firm stance on skipping the honeymoon had weighed on his father-in-law. Perhaps he hadn’t brought it up earlier because Suhan’s cold demeanor had discouraged it. While Yeonseo’s love and admiration for Suhan were obvious to everyone, the same couldn’t confidently be said about Suhan’s feelings toward Yeonseo. There had even been moments of doubt, wondering if they had pushed Suhan into a marriage he didn’t want, which made it difficult to encourage the couple to spend quality time together.

However, ever since Suhan’s accident and subsequent hospitalization, his unexpectedly affectionate demeanor had astonished his family. He had even shared the long-awaited news of a child—a topic that, out of fear of upsetting him, had remained unspoken for so long. Despite the unspoken conflicts that might have existed, neither Suhan nor Yeonseo ever expressed dissatisfaction outwardly. The couple’s sudden and joyful news brought immense relief to his parents, who had been silently worrying about their well-being.

Now seemed like the perfect opportunity to give the two a chance to spend quality time together. After all, this was the ideal moment for a couple’s retreat before Suhan returned to work. Yeonseo’s decision to extend his leave was clearly his own, so there wasn’t much concern there. But Suhan—was he truly okay? Was he pushing himself too hard for the company rather than for himself? With these thoughts, the couple’s parents wanted to create a time just for them, knowing how difficult it could be for young couples adjusting to life with a newborn.

Thus came the final decision: “Let’s send them on the honeymoon they missed!” When this proposal was casually presented to Suhan, his reaction was one of utter bewilderment.

“What?”

Suhan couldn’t help but question whether he had misheard. Yeonseo’s mother, feeling more anxious than during a competitive company presentation, carefully clarified her suggestion.

“You won’t be able to take extended leave after returning to work, so we thought it would be nice for the two of you to relax and enjoy some time together.”

Suhan instinctively wanted to decline. Was it necessary? He had already traveled extensively during work trips and his time abroad as a student. European architecture, cultural heritage, and leisure activities didn’t particularly interest him. He was about to express his gratitude but politely decline when—

Memories of food from his student years abroad suddenly came to mind—dishes he hadn’t even thought about during Yeonseo’s pregnancy. While Korea’s culinary scene had expanded significantly in recent years, perfectly replicating those flavors at home was nearly impossible due to differences in ingredients and seasonings. Though he could always indulge during a future work trip, the thought of enjoying such a trip with Yeonseo made him reconsider.

After a moment’s hesitation, Suhan gave a brief response and ended the call.

“I’ll discuss it with Yeonseo. Thank you for your thoughtful suggestion.”

* * *

Yeonseo’s response was far more enthusiastic than expected.

“I think it’s great! I mean—not because Suyeon has been tiring or anything…!”

Yeonseo, caught off guard by the unexpected good news, instinctively showed his excitement. But the moment he realized he might sound too eager, guilt crept in, making him scramble to soften his words. Suhan found himself laughing—not out of ridicule, but because Yeonseo’s reaction was endearing. Turning away to suppress a smile, Suhan lightly cleared his throat to regain composure.

“Is there anywhere you’d like to go? Whether it’s domestic or abroad, it doesn’t matter.”

While Suhan had a destination in mind, he didn’t want to force the decision, mindful of the possibility that Yeonseo might feel pressured. Yeonseo usually left most decisions to Suhan, a dynamic that Suhan once took for granted but now sought to change.

“Hmm… nothing specific comes to mind…”

The way Yeonseo earnestly wracked his brain for ideas made Suhan chuckle softly. It wasn’t a matter that required such serious deliberation, but it was clear Yeonseo was putting effort into considering what Suhan might enjoy. After a moment, Yeonseo smiled brightly and declared:

“Anywhere is fine as long as I’m with you.”

The emphasis on

made Suhan momentarily flustered. It was just a simple phrase, but for some reason, he couldn’t help being acutely aware of it.

Thinking back to how their relationship had evolved—from “Suhan hyung” to “Mr. Suhan,” and back to “hyung” again—Suhan couldn’t help but reflect on how much they had been through. Despite not fully understanding why Yeonseo had persistently clung to him throughout those turbulent times, he felt gratitude and a touch of embarrassment.

“…Then, can I make the arrangements?”

In the past, Suhan would have planned everything without asking, leaving Yeonseo with nothing to do but pack his passport. But he was determined to approach things differently now. Suppressing the bubbling impatience rising within him, Suhan asked gently. Yeonseo quickly nodded.

“Yes, anywhere you want to go is fine with me.”

Pleased with the response, Suhan felt a small surge of satisfaction. While it was a trip carefully planned by him, the thought of sharing it with Yeonseo made it more meaningful. Just as Suhan was about to comment, Suyeon’s soft cries interrupted their conversation, effectively concluding the discussion for now.

Time passed, and the day of their late honeymoon finally arrived.

“Oh, look at Suyeon coming to grandma. Peek-a-boo! Oh, my, look how happy she is!”

“You keep making such a fuss that the baby doesn’t know who to smile at. Suyeon, look here. Grandpa’s over here, okay?”

Watching the doting grandparents behave even more enthusiastically than Suyeon’s parents, Suhan felt a cold sweat run down his back, wondering if he had looked just as excessive to others. Yeonseo, noticing Suhan’s discomfort, leaned in and whispered quietly so his parents wouldn’t hear.

“They’re just being a bit over the top. You don’t have to worry.”

For the chairman and his wife, who had been anxiously bracing for news of a potential divorce, Suyeon, who was finally starting to look healthier, was a savior who washed away all their worries. On top of that, the baby was surprisingly well-behaved—so much so that they were reminded of Yeonseo’s quiet temperament as a child. Suyeon only whimpered in the smallest voice when needed, didn’t fuss, and even had a deep sleep pattern.

“You were just like this as a baby, too. I used to worry so much that there might be something wrong because you never fussed. I even took you to the hospital just in case.”

Though Suyeon was gentle, she still made her needs known when necessary, so there didn’t seem to be any cause for concern. Watching the baby, who for once was nestled in someone else’s arms, Yeonseo felt tears well up in his eyes.

“If Suyeon gets sick or starts crying for us, please call us right away. We’ll come back as soon as we can.”

The chairman and his wife shook their heads in unison at Yeonseo’s worried plea.

“What are you saying? We’re sending you off so you can relax and enjoy yourselves. We’ll take care of everything, so don’t worry and just go. You should look around while you’re at the airport.”

The trip wasn’t meant for shopping, and anything they needed could easily be purchased on-site. However, with the persistent encouragement of his in-laws pushing them forward, Suhan reluctantly started walking with Yeonseo toward the gates.

Perhaps it was because it was her first time being separated from her parents since birth. Instead of reaching out or crying as other babies might, Suyeon simply blinked her large, round eyes, quietly watching as her parents walked away.

Sure, the grandparents had the resources and influence to resolve any issues easily if something went wrong. Still, leaving behind their little one made each step feel heavier for Suhan.

“……”

Noticing Suhan repeatedly looking back at his parents holding the baby and heading toward the parking lot, Yeonseo reached out and wrapped an arm around Suhan’s shoulders.

“She’ll be fine. They’re meticulous and capable people.”

But Yeonseo’s gaze also lingered behind them, making Suhan chuckle. Was he giving himself a pep talk as much as Suhan? With a mix of worry and anticipation, they finally reached the boarding gate. Yeonseo naturally guided Suhan to their seats, spacious enough to stretch out comfortably.

“Until we return to Korea, let’s promise to focus on just the two of us. No other distractions.”

With that, Yeonseo swiftly confiscated Suhan’s carry-on bag and stored it in the overhead compartment. Suhan could only blink, caught off guard by the unexpected move.

“We won’t get many chances like this to take a trip, even if it’s replacing our honeymoon… So please.”

Not wanting to ruin the atmosphere or upset Yeonseo, Suhan held his tongue. He couldn’t help but feel that he had grown softer, more pliant, around Yeonseo. With a quiet sigh of resignation, Suhan decided to let it go. What was done was done.

* * *

Hours passed on the flight, and they finally disembarked. The bright sunlight beat down from above as they stepped outside the airport. Contrary to Suhan’s expectation of chilly European weather, it was warm. Compared to his student days, the temperature had become much milder, rendering the heavy winter clothes they’d packed unnecessary. With a slight sense of disappointment, they drove two hours to a secluded village in the South of France, where a small villa awaited them.

“Wow, it’s been so long! You were always handsome, but you’ve aged even better!”

Before they could even park properly, a middle-aged woman stepped out of the villa, smiling brightly, and greeted Suhan with a cheek-to-cheek gesture.

Startled, Yeonseo’s eyes widened in surprise. Suhan, however, didn’t seem fazed. He smoothly leaned forward, allowing the light gesture without actual contact, then straightened up with practiced ease, responding politely.

“Thank you, Madame. You’re as lovely as ever. How have you been?”

The exchange flowed naturally in French, leaving Yeonseo wide-eyed in astonishment. While he knew about Suhan’s studies abroad and the French books stacked on their shelves, seeing him speak the language so fluently—and warmly greeting someone he clearly knew well—was a surprise.

‘I thought he would’ve lived similarly to how he does in Korea…’

It was a revelation to see this side of Suhan. Watching him converse with ease in a language Yeonseo couldn’t understand, he couldn’t help but find Suhan unexpectedly attractive. His cheeks flushed as he clasped his hands over his warm face.

After finishing his conversation and receiving the villa keys, Suhan turned back to Yeonseo, holding them out with a smile.

“I got the key. We’ll be using that private cabin over there, so we should park the car again….”

What now? Suhan turned to glance suspiciously at Yeonseo, who seemed somewhat out of sorts. Yeonseo cleared his throat awkwardly and shook his head.

“Oh, it’s nothing!”

Nothing, my foot. Suhan, unconvinced, studied Yeonseo carefully. However, he decided that first things first: they needed to rest after the flight and check in on how Suyeon was doing. Suhan gently took Yeonseo’s arm and guided him toward their assigned accommodation.

* * *

The lodging, designed for a tranquil retreat in the woods, lived up to its promise. Nestled deep in the mountains, birdsong filtered in through the glass windows, and small rodents, like squirrels, peeked curiously around the balcony with its accompanying deck, hoping for stray nuts or seeds left by visitors. Inside, the cabin had a cozy setup with a single bedroom, a small kitchen, and a fairly spacious loft overhead.

“Wow….”

Yeonseo let out an involuntary exclamation as he took in the breathtaking view of the Alps through the window. Suhan, pleased by his reaction, spoke up with a hint of pride.

“This is a place I visited once with some college friends while I was studying abroad.”

It hadn’t been a formal trip—more like a casual gathering—but still, it had been memorable. Back then, Suhan rarely socialized outside of professional settings in Korea, but his time abroad had been somewhat different. Although he wasn’t the type to actively engage in community activities, he couldn’t deny that culinary experiences often expanded one’s world beyond its usual confines, fostering connections through shared meals.

Being overseas provided him with opportunities he didn’t want to waste, especially in a setting where there was no need to compete or posture. This lodge, in particular, had been managed by the relatives of a French classmate who had proudly sung its praises.

And rightly so—it was a dazzlingly beautiful place. Among the grimy, petty, and unpleasant chapters of Suhan’s life, it stood out as one of the rare moments that made him think,

When the chance arose to travel with Yeonseo, this was the first destination that came to mind. He was certain Yeonseo, who seemed to have always experienced the finer things in life, wouldn’t be familiar with it.

About a 20-minute walk down a nearby trail led to a crystal-clear lake, so still it resembled a mirror. Although nighttime outdoor activities were discouraged due to the risk of encounters with wildlife, within the fenced area, guests could enjoy simple barbecues. True to the country’s reputation for culinary excellence, meals prepared by the lodge staff upon request rivaled those of high-end hotel restaurants.

“Want to go for a walk?”

Suhan imagined Yeonseo enjoying the stroll and decided to take him along a trail he’d once walked with his college friends. The mountain breeze was crisp and cool, but the sunlight streaming down was warm enough to counter the chill. The refreshing wind, the golden light, and Yeonseo trailing behind him with an excited expression—it was all unexpectedly pleasant.

It was an odd feeling. Suhan had always taken pride in his achievements and appreciated recognition, so he found joy in people liking what he’d worked hard to prepare. Yet this was different. Just seeing Yeonseo genuinely happy made Suhan feel good in a way he wasn’t used to. It was a stark contrast to his past tendency to step in begrudgingly, just to stop Yeonseo’s teary complaints.

Their perfect day continued through the evening. By the time they finished, the darkening sky was illuminated by a large, glowing moon. Suhan uncorked a dessert wine from a nearby winery and paired it with cheesecake prepared by the lodge staff. The sweet flavors washed away his fatigue, leaving him feeling refreshed.

He didn’t have any real complaints about his current life. Still, the changes brought about by having a child had upended the life Suhan had lived alone until now. This temporary escape from responsibilities felt like a much-needed reprieve. The wine’s sweetness filled his mouth, mingling with the even sweeter scent of his Alpha. His surgery scars had healed cleanly by now, and Suhan, feeling the warmth rise to his cheeks, glanced shyly at Yeonseo.

Three months had passed since Suyeon was born. Suhan understood the need to be cautious since a cesarean came with longer recovery times.

Even during the pregnancy, they’d been so inseparable. Now, Yeonseo’s reserved behavior rubbed Suhan the wrong way. Was it because Suhan was less attractive now than during the time he’d forgotten himself? He couldn’t bring himself to make the first move, too embarrassed to break the ice. As time passed, their 100th day post-birth had already come and gone.

Suhan, tipsy enough to feel bold but not reckless, decided to test the waters. He carefully placed a hand on Yeonseo’s thigh.

“We’re almost done with the bottle.”

Hoping Yeonseo would suggest heading to bed, Suhan looked at him expectantly.

Suddenly, Yeonseo’s lean but firm body wavered and collapsed onto Suhan.

“……!?”

Startled, Suhan quickly propped Yeonseo up to check on him, only to find Yeonseo’s face flushed bright red, his eyes tightly shut. Sure, the wine had a decent alcohol content, but if he was feeling tipsy, shouldn’t he have said so? Suhan, caught between disbelief and exasperation, glared at Yeonseo, who was now mumbling something in his sleep, leaning heavily against him.

“Hey, you… what the…”

Before Suhan could finish, Yeonseo mumbled something faintly, and Suhan managed to make out the words slipping through his lips. They made his face flush involuntarily.

“Hyung… hmm… You’re honestly… the best thing that ever happened to me….”

As he spoke, Yeonseo clung tightly to Suhan’s sleeve as if afraid he might let go, barely managing to crack open his heavy eyelids to look at him. That helpless, awkward sight was enough to make Suhan laugh instead of getting annoyed.

Suhan had never thought about it that way before. But when he considered it, meeting Yeonseo at that seaside villa back then had been the greatest stroke of luck in his own life as well.

Things hadn’t been easy, but without that meeting, he wouldn’t be who he was today. He wouldn’t have gone from being the brash, troublemaking kid from a despised family to the managing director, Lee Suhan. Meeting Yeonseo and his family had set his life on a new course.

Feeling his irritation melt away, Suhan lightly pinched Yeonseo’s cheek and replied, “Stop talking nonsense and let’s get you to bed.”

“Nonsense… hmm… but it’s true… Hyung is so pretty… so cool… good at everything….”

Yeonseo mumbled again, his words trailing off into an incomprehensible murmur. Suhan let it slide with a chuckle. He hoisted Yeonseo onto the bed with some effort, carefully tucking the blanket around him, and thought to himself: even without the child to consider, the fact that he found this endearing meant he was already tied down for good.

* * *

The next morning, Yeonseo woke up clutching his pounding head, the effects of a hangover kicking in. After enthusiastically grilling meat for Suhan’s plate the night before, his memories of what happened afterward were a complete blank. His face turned pale as he began to worry.

If he had done anything so unforgivable, Yeonseo thought that throwing himself into the mirror-like lake outside might be a more honorable course of action than returning to Korea alive. Alarmed by his own imagination, Yeonseo shot upright in bed, only to be met by a familiar voice nearby.

“Did you sleep well?”

Sleep well? Absolutely not. He had passed out completely, sure, but now he felt like a criminal on trial. Yeonseo peeked cautiously at Suhan, only to find him smiling and gently smoothing down his disheveled hair.

“Go wash up and come out. I had them make tomato soup for your hangover.”

The soup, filled with seafood and a medley of vegetables, was a specialty the lodge manager had been preparing for hungover college students for years. After all, a bit of spice was a universal remedy for clearing one’s head.

Suhan noticed Yeonseo barely touching his spoon, too busy glancing nervously at him, and asked, “Why are you acting so jittery?”

Yeonseo had no excuse. He stammered and avoided eye contact. “I was just wondering if… I might have made a mistake last night….”

“A mistake?”

Suhan repeated the word with a nonchalant expression before responding with a smile full of amusement.

“Who knows?”

That cryptic answer sent Yeonseo’s heart plummeting into his stomach.

“Did I really make a mistake!?”

Suhan, barely holding back laughter, smiled without answering as Yeonseo, growing frantic, grabbed Suhan in surprise. Instead of pulling his hand away, Suhan slowly traced his fingers from Yeonseo’s inner shin to his calves, and then along his well-toned thigh muscles, finally pressing down on the familiar spot where something thick and firm had settled.

“…!”

Like a bomb had gone off, Yeonseo’s face turned as red as the soup in the bowl, unable to say anything as his mouth opened and closed in shock. Seizing the opportunity, Suhan spoke.

“I think it’s up to you how you handle this from now on.”

Ah! In that moment, Yeonseo felt like the safety pin he’d been holding onto had snapped. What had he been holding back for all this time? The provocation that made him fall like a child, as if asking why he’d been doing something like that, was irresistible.

What use are nice weather, a sunny view, or pristine nature? The person I love most in such a dirty way is inside. The day of departure finally arriving, yet none of the plans he’d carefully prepared had come to fruition, and staying at home was perhaps a foregone conclusion.