To Me, Who Doesn’t Love You

Suhan hesitated about how to respond but decided to say exactly what was on his mind.“Do you remember why you cried?”“I don’t remember, but I’ve heard about it. This photo is one I saw often when I was younger. We even had a video recording of it at home.”Yeonseo let out a faintly bitter smile, but thankfully, it didn’t seem to carry any sadness or pain.“Why did you cry?”When Suhan asked again, Yeonseo’s lips curved into a soft smile, unlike earlier, as he replied.“It was my birthday, but my brother blew out the candles first and even took the sugar decoration on top. Apparently, he’d been waiting for this chance to get back at me because on his birthday, I’d ruined the cake by smashing my head into it, so he couldn’t enjoy it properly.”It was the kind of memory that only family could share, and Suhan couldn’t help but laugh.“That’s on you. You messed with his cake first.”“Right? My parents just kept laughing about it on the video, too.”As they continued looking through the photos, another boy appeared repeatedly alongside Yeonseo. From one-year-old to two, then two to three, and onward to elementary school, the album captured a warm, happy family. But suddenly, the timeline jumped to after Yeonseo had met Suhan. From that point on, the photos showed Yeonseo always alone.“That’s all from my childhood. After this, there are only group photos I took during college.”Yeonseo flipped to the last page of the album, showing a group photo likely taken at a graduation ceremony. In the picture, Yeonseo was clearly trying hard to smile, though his nervousness showed. The abrupt transition from the tearful, tender-hearted, introverted child Jo Yeonseo to an adult on the cusp of graduation made Suhan chuckle before he even realized it.Yeonseo, noticing, looked worried and asked, “Why are you laughing? Do I look strange in the photo?”Alarmed, Yeonseo widened his eyes, concern written all over his face as he stared at Suhan. Suhan took a moment to stifle his laughter before replying.“No, it’s just cute and makes me a little envious.”Seeing that Yeonseo still seemed anxious, Suhan added to reassure him.“I don’t have anything like this. Oh, maybe there’s something on my school’s website.”As Suhan recalled the oldest record of himself that might still exist, Yeonseo’s eyes lit up.“When? Which school?”Yeonseo’s excitement about finding a photo of Suhan was endearing. Suhan grabbed his phone and navigated to his school’s website. Though the layout had been updated somewhat since his graduation, the content hadn’t changed much. He guessed there might still be a record of some major event. After scrolling through the gallery section for a while, Suhan found a photo.“Here it is.”Suhan casually enlarged the photo and handed the phone to Yeonseo. The image showed Suhan in a simple turtleneck and dark jeans, wearing a long apron tied around his waist. It was a modest outfit, but the apron’s design, which reached past his knees, gave him the look of an ideal café worker. Suhan wore a light smile, his expression warm and inviting. If Yeonseo hadn’t known how kind Suhan could be during the time he’d lost his memories, he might have been amazed at how such a face was possible.“You look amazing. Did you cook during this event?”The event had been a charity dinner hosted by Suhan’s school for the local community. Though the student chefs were originally meant to handle the cooking, the turnout far exceeded expectations. With the kitchen understaffed, the more adept students from other departments, including Suhan’s, were called in to help. Suhan had initially been annoyed at the lack of planning but couldn’t resist smiling when local children from a nearby orphanage beamed and declared it the best meal they’d ever had.“Yeah, I wasn’t supposed to, but things got hectic, so I stepped in.”Suhan had since become known as a culinary critic and consultant, so it was rare for him to take on a hands-on cooking role. Even during TV appearances, he would mostly demonstrate techniques as a judge rather than actively cook. Yeonseo seemed delighted by this rare glimpse into Suhan’s past.“Can I save this photo?”Yeonseo asked, his eyes sparkling with excitement. The photo had already been publicly displayed on the website for years, so there wasn’t much reason to refuse. Suhan chuckled lightly and replied.“Do as you like.”When Yeonseo, afraid Suhan might change his mind, quickly grabbed his phone, he immediately accessed the website from the URL displayed at the top of the screen and downloaded Suhan’s photos. He even tried to set one as his phone’s background, forcing Suhan to intervene.“Enough. Why would you use such an old photo as your background? Suyeon’s pictures are much better.”As it was, Yeonseo’s phone was already filled with photos of Suyeon. From the messenger profile picture to the wallpaper and lock screen, every image was of his baby’s smiling face. While it might seem a bit excessive, it wasn’t uncommon for a father to fill his screens with pictures of his child. However, using one’s spouse as the wallpaper—well, that was undeniably over the top. When Suhan firmly stopped him, Yeonseo, although slightly disappointed, obediently put his phone down.Time had flown by while they sifted through the old photos, and it was now late at night. Since they needed to wake up early to prepare breakfast and feed Suyeon, who would soon be stirring, it was time to head to bed.“Shall we go to sleep now?” Suhan asked as Yeonseo returned from putting the albums back in the storage room. Yeonseo nodded slowly in response.“Do you want me to give you a shoulder massage if you’re tired?”Why would he? Though it wasn’t a bad idea, Suhan wasn’t keen on feeling like a parent being pampered by their child. He shook his head.“No, it’s fine. Let’s just go to bed quietly so we don’t wake Suyeon.”After all, Suhan couldn’t bear to have Yeonseo, who not only took care of Suyeon all day but also prepared his meals, go so far as to give him a massage. It was clear who had the more exhausting role. Suhan’s refusal stopped Yeonseo from saying anything further. They quietly settled into their nightly routine: fulfilling their roles, sharing meals, talking about the day’s events, and resting together before lying side by side in bed. It was a peaceful, comfortable rhythm.After lightly touching Suyeon’s soft cheek to check that the baby was still sound asleep, Suhan lay down. Yeonseo soon followed, pulling back the blanket to slide into bed as well.“Goodnight,” Suhan said in his usual monotone.Yeonseo, his cheeks flushing red, replied, “Goodnight.”As their eyes closed, the sound of their steady breathing soon filled the room. Next to him lay the husband he had secretly loved for most of his life, and across from them, at the same height as their bed, was Suyeon’s crib, where the precious baby Yeonseo insisted bore a striking resemblance to Suhan slept peacefully. It was a happy moment. Yes, it was perfect, but…“Is this… it?”More than four months had passed since Suyeon’s birth. By now, nearly five months had gone by, far exceeding the postpartum recovery period recommended by the hospital. Typically, couples resumed intimacy around 4 to 6 weeks postpartum, provided there was no pain or discharge. Yet Suhan and Yeonseo’s last moment of physical closeness had been during a late honeymoon when they had left Suyeon with their parents. Since then, nothing.“……”In hindsight, had they not been more passionate during the pregnancy? The realization made Yeonseo’s face grow hot. Was it just a spur-of-the-moment thing back then? One thing was clear—Suhan’s distinctive pheromone scent had been growing stronger lately. Whether he was aware of it or not, his body seemed ready to resume an active marital life. Of course, Yeonseo wasn’t planning on rushing into having another child just yet, but modern technology provided plenty of contraceptive options. He could take alpha contraceptives or use condoms—like the ones he had impulsively bought at a nearby convenience store and stuffed into a corner of the wardrobe.While caring for Suyeon wasn’t easy, it wasn’t so exhausting that he couldn’t move a muscle in the evening. As an alpha, Yeonseo prided himself on his stamina, and Suyeon was a calm and well-behaved baby. The little one rarely caused trouble or threw tantrums, making parenting relatively manageable.Was Suhan’s recent lack of initiative simply a lack of desire? Or was it his way of being considerate toward Yeonseo, who bore the brunt of parenting duties? As Yeonseo pondered this, his mind wandered to the condoms in the wardrobe, and his gaze shifted to Suhan. His husband’s lips were closed firmly, and his peaceful eyelids rested over a face so handsome it could belong to an active celebrity.“……”How could someone look so good? Turning to face Suhan, Yeonseo stared at him with wide, curious eyes, studying his features intently. Suhan always brushed off compliments about his looks, but to Yeonseo, his face was the most beautiful in the world. Surely others must feel the same way.Perhaps he should just be content. Suhan loved him, Suyeon was thriving, and their happy, harmonious life together was more than he could have dreamed of. Wanting anything more might be greedy.“But…”As Yeonseo continued to gaze at Suhan’s face, a tension built in his lower abdomen. He could vividly recall Suhan’s flushed expression, the way he gasped and moaned beneath him. The memories were crystal clear, almost taunting. How could he possibly settle for just this when he knew such things about Suhan?Yeonseo felt wronged. Before his relationship with Suhan completely flipped after the accident, Yeonseo had never done anything even remotely similar with anyone, let alone taken an active role in self-gratification. Of course, as an alpha, he had basic urges, and his rut cycles came regularly, but he managed those alone with the help of medication. Jo Yeonseo was, by all accounts, a surprisingly restrained alpha with relatively low libido.However, after Suhan boldly declared that he would seduce his husband, Yeonseo’s sex life underwent a complete transformation. Whenever they had a moment alone, they indulged in each other like insatiable beasts. Before Suyeon came into their lives—and even after—birth control wasn’t something they seriously considered. Suhan would constantly tease Yeonseo, questioning whether he was fit to be a father, and every time Yeonseo released inside him, Suhan would shudder in pleasure, provocatively clenching around him. It was Suhan himself who corrupted Yeonseo’s habits despite his initial reluctance.Now, how could it be fair for Suhan to have conditioned him this way, only to suddenly act as if he had no desires of his own? Unable to voice his frustrations, Yeonseo could only stare at Suhan’s face before quietly pulling back the blanket and getting out of bed.“Ha…”Having spent so long admiring Suhan’s face and lying beside him, it was impossible for him to calm down. Sighing softly, Yeonseo carefully opened the door and stepped out, heading to the bathroom attached to the living room. At last, he felt like he could let his guard down. He grabbed a bottle of massage gel from the shelf, squeezed some into his hand, and immediately lowered his pajama pants, gripping his painfully erect length. It only took a few strokes before thick, creamy semen spurted from his tip. After such an unintended period of abstinence, it seemed much more concentrated than during their more passionate days.“…”Still, Suhan was going through his own challenges. He had just returned from his hiatus and was busy juggling work. Yeonseo couldn’t bring himself to complain over something like this. He was already treated like a child often enough and didn’t want to add “immature” to his list of faults. Swiftly cleaning himself up and ignoring his lingering arousal, Yeonseo tucked himself back in and composed himself. His love for Suhan wasn’t something so trivial that it could be undermined by physical desire. Surely, once things settled down, they could return to the way things were before Suhan’s pregnancy. With that faint hope in mind, Yeonseo slipped back into the bedroom. Suhan and Suyeon were still sound asleep, oblivious to his turmoil.“…”A blush crept over Yeonseo’s face again. He had been so foolish. With a beloved daughter and an even more beloved husband, what right did he have to complain? He lightly kissed both their cheeks in turn, careful not to wake them, before retreating under the covers.The day of the meeting with PD Cho arrived five days later. After using the weekend as an excuse to delay it as much as possible, Suhan begrudgingly showed up at the agreed location. However, as soon as he spotted an uninvited guest sitting at the table, he turned around to leave.“Ah, Suhan, wait! Hold on, hold on! You can’t just leave like that! At least hear us out first!”Before he could escape, PD Cho and the other guest quickly rose from their seats and moved to block his way, leaving Suhan no choice but to sit down with a sharp glare, his expression cold enough to freeze the air around him.“I knew you’d find an excuse to wriggle out if I said I wanted to introduce you to someone. Don’t worry, this guy’s just my lackey. No need to pay him any mind.”What kind of nonsense was that? How could he ignore someone who was clearly present? Even a one-on-one meeting with PD Cho, given its undoubtedly troublesome purpose, was already irritating enough. But now, the addition of a stranger made the encounter even more unpleasant.Of course, Suhan wasn’t one to shy away from professional meetings. He had successfully managed numerous collaborations and external negotiations throughout his career. However, this wasn’t just a business meeting. PD Cho was someone Suhan owed a favor, and he knew full well that Jo wouldn’t let him off the hook with a simple request. The fact that an unfamiliar face had been added to the mix without warning was evidence enough that whatever was coming would be especially annoying and inconvenient. With his expression hardened, Suhan reverted to the icy demeanor that had once earned him a reputation as a heartless jerk.“Anyway, this is my junior, Park Sangbok, from the STV entertainment department. Don’t think too hard about it.”The entertainment department? Well, most of STV’s staff were technically part of its entertainment division, given that the network thrived on variety shows. Still, entertainment programs spanned a wide spectrum. If this was about another culinary show, Suhan’s existing contact, PD Cho Eunah, would have handled it. So why bring in someone completely new? It was suspicious, to say the least.“Here’s my business card.”As the man extended his card, Suhan reluctantly accepted it, reading the traditional name “Park Sangbok,” which stood out even among modern professionals. The man chuckled, adding a light-hearted comment.“My name’s a bit unique, right? I just hope my name doesn’t live up to itself too much.”He was polite and personable, as expected of someone in broadcasting. But Suhan, unfazed, simply gave a curt response, internally scoffing. It was easy to be nice when you needed something, but people in power rarely stayed that way.“So, what exactly are you proposing?”Suhan’s blunt and straightforward question made PD Cho’s face briefly display an expression that read, Oh, right, this is how he always was, before it disappeared.“Suhan, isn’t your daughter just adorable these days? She must be babbling up a storm and starting to stand on her own, right?”He vaguely recalled the moment Suyeon managed to stand on her own, albeit briefly, with just enough balance to be caught if you blinked. Yeonseo had gone on about how it was clear their child was a prodigy with a natural talent for athletics. Suhan stopped himself from softening at the thought of his adorable daughter and husband, maintaining a calm demeanor.“That seems irrelevant to the matter at hand,” he replied.Knowing each other’s temperaments so well, neither party felt the need for small talk. There was no need for pleasantries, updates, or inquiries about how things were going—just get to the point already. But before Suhan could fully steer the conversation, Sangbok, speaking on behalf of PD Cho, interrupted.“Oh, it’s very relevant. You’ve probably seen them before, right? Those parenting shows where celebrities or famous people gush about how adorable their kids are? They’re all the rage these days.”It finally dawned on Suhan what absurd request was coming his way. He immediately frowned in irritation. As expected, his ominous premonition had been spot-on. And he prided himself on being pretty perceptive when it came to these kinds of things.“Here’s the thing—we were wondering if you might consider appearing on a show with Suyeon. She’s already such a beauty, even at this age!”Referring to a five-month-old as a “beauty” was absurd in itself, but Suhan already had a fundamental dislike for parenting shows. To him, it all boiled down to parental selfishness, which left a bad taste in his mouth. The concept of commodifying a young child for the sake of a show or passing down the occupation of living under public scrutiny seemed distasteful at best. Besides, with the financial security he and Yeonseo had, there was no need to commercialize their child. Suhan immediately made his stance clear.“I’m not interested. My presence in the industry is more than enough for our family.”As Suhan delivered his sharp rejection, PD Cho jumped in, unfazed.“Don’t be like that, Suhan. Think about it. If you’re considering having her follow a career path in the entertainment industry someday, it’s good to start building recognition early. And even if you’re not, now’s the perfect time. Once she gets older and her features settle, people will start recognizing her. But right now, she’s so young that no one will remember her face later. You can show off how lovely your daughter is now without any long-term consequences. It’s the best of both worlds, isn’t it?”What was this nonsense? It was as if PD Cho assumed every parent was desperate for an opportunity to show off their child. Suhan furrowed his brows.“No, I’ve never thought about showing her off or anything like that….”Before he could finish, PD Cho cut him off again, undeterred.“Not once? That can’t be true! This is the age where they’re the most precious thing in the world, and you’re telling me you don’t feel like showing her off at all?”As the man rambled on, Suhan could think of nothing but returning to his office.“Our family cherishes Suyeon plenty on our own. Besides, my husband’s a private person, and I have no desire to complicate things by dragging him into a broadcast.”PD Cho, not one to back down, immediately countered, “What do you mean, Yeonseo’s just a private citizen? He’s a corporate executive with charm and grace to boot. That’s hardly what I’d call ‘ordinary.’”It was clear he wanted to emphasize that Suhan and Yeonseo weren’t just a typical family. However, it was the wrong approach.“He’s currently on parental leave as a deputy manager. That’s far from being a corporate executive.”“Still, he’s not your average guy. Just look at him—no one would mistake him for an ordinary person, with those looks and that family background.”That was their opinion, not Suhan’s. The utterly stagnant conversation felt like a waste of time. If anything, PD Cho would’ve been better off simply asking for money. Suhan entertained this petty thought while preparing to leave.“If this is all you have to propose, I’ll take my leave. If you want to make any further offers, send a formal request, preferably one limited to my individual participation. Goodbye.”PD Cho, knowing Suhan’s temperament well, didn’t stop him but instead looked disappointed. He’d expected this level of resistance going in, but still…. Watching Suhan walk out of the café, PD Cho sighed dramatically.As soon as Suhan left, Sangbok let out a long sigh and remarked, “What now? He’s as impenetrable as you said.”“What else? We come up with another idea,” PD Cho replied, shrugging nonchalantly before taking a sip of the leftover iced Americano.Sangbok tilted his head at the surprisingly calm PD Cho.“You’ve got another plan? Or are we switching targets?”At Sangbok’s skeptical question, PD Cho flashed a confident smile.