Toxin

“Good grief. This was a gift from His Majesty, and now it’s broken.”

Veronjubille walked past me, her chin held high as if she were the victor. The court ladies trailed behind her, giving me cold, disdainful glances before following her. Once the overpowering scent of perfume faded, I started walking too. One month, maybe two—was that really my expiration date, as she had said? Would that time be enough? I’d heard my father died after just two months. Since I only had half the blood of the Imae Tribe, it was uncertain how long I could hold out. Whether it would take two months or two years, all I could do was pray that the Black Martial Emperor wouldn’t tire of his unique meal too soon.

***

Each step I took sent sharp pain shooting through my lower body, but I forced myself to hurry. I needed to change clothes immediately, so I headed straight to Byeolwon where my belongings were. By the time I arrived at the front of Byeolwon, I was drenched in cold sweat. Just as I barely managed to step inside the gate, someone burst out and collided with me hard.

“Ah! What the—?! I’m in such a rush here!”

The voice belonged to Naro. Upon seeing my face, Naro suddenly grabbed me in a tight hug.

“You, where on earth have you been…! Do you know how worried I was when I heard the chaos yesterday?! I really thought something terrible had happened to you…! I searched everywhere—Byeolwon, the stables, the entire palace, like I was turning the place inside out! I thought I’d lost my only friend like this…!! Hng… Are, are you okay? Are you hurt?!”

Naro frantically spun me around, inspecting me from head to toe without giving me a chance to respond. Then, noticing the bruises on my neck and chest, his face turned paler than a sheet of paper. I hurriedly pulled my collar up to hide the marks, but it was already too late.

“W-what’s this?! Is it an infectious disease? It is, isn’t it?! You were dragged to His Majesty—did he conduct some sort of human experiment on you?! This is too much! How could something like this…! And you’ve got a fever too, don’t you?! We need to see a doctor right away! Let’s go!!”

“…”

Could it be that he has absolutely no experience? Even so, surely he must have heard things. Yet Naro didn’t seem to make any connection. I had no idea how to explain this.

“Painter, it’s not an infectious disease…”

“Do you take me for a fool?! Are you trying to avoid me because you’re afraid I’ll catch it? Do you think we’re the kind of friends who’d fall apart over a mere illness? Is that all our friendship is worth to you?! Stop talking and come with me! This looks like something serious!”

Just as he was about to drag me away, the door to Byeolwon suddenly swung open, and a large man came charging out. It was Raonhiljo. Our eyes met midair. Naro spoke quickly, almost in a whisper.

“He searched everywhere last night, all through the stables and every corner of Byeolwon! He only fell asleep a few hours ago after hearing from a guard that you were still alive!”

“Ah…”

I noticed his leg, wrapped in bandages. Raonhiljo, his face full of exhaustion, stepped off the porch and walked straight toward me.

“My lord, your leg…”

“You…”

Raonhiljo didn’t answer my question. Instead, he grabbed my arm and examined me thoroughly. Once he confirmed there were no major injuries, he let out a long sigh, his broad chest sinking with relief. For a moment, there was a strange stillness near his chest. Worried he might be seriously hurt, I looked up, only to find Raonhiljo’s expression frozen in an odd way. But his gaze wasn’t fixed on me. His cool eyes slowly moved from my neck to my collarbone, and then to my chest, lingering there for quite some time. When his eyes finally met mine again, they were filled with a cold, icy fury.

He stood motionless, staring at one spot. His piercing gaze pinned me down, leaving me unable to move as if I were bound. Raonhiljo, still locking eyes with me, spoke in a low voice.

“Would you mind giving us some space?”

Naro, looking confused, asked in an innocent tone.

“W-where to?”

Raonhiljo’s gaze slowly shifted to the simpleminded young man. Finally freed from the tension, I hastily clutched my collar to hide the bruises. My hands trembled slightly.

“Anywhere but here. Please.”

“Ah, anywhere will do…”

Naro thought for a moment, then nodded vigorously before dashing out the gate. Once Naro disappeared, the silence grew heavy. I had to break it somehow.

“Is your leg alright?”

As soon as the door closed, Raonhiljo yanked open my jacket.

“My lord…!”

Raonhiljo pinned my shoulders against the door and stared at the marks scattered across my skin. The lips that always spoke warm words were now frozen in a cold, distant line. He seemed unable to put into words what was going through his mind. But at least he wasn’t mistaking it for an infectious disease like Naro did. I needed to leave this space before he fully processed the situation. Otherwise, I felt like I might end up confessing everything.

“Let go of me…”

“Was it Garon?”

“…!!”

I froze completely. Without taking his eyes off the bruises, he repeated himself.

“I’m asking if it was Garon.”

Instead of answering, I pulled myself away from his grip with all my strength. I clutched my collar tightly, as if choking myself, hiding all traces of last night. Seeing my agitation, Raonhiljo seemed to become more certain. His calm eyes flared with heat as they twitched in anger. Suddenly, he grabbed my arm and dragged me toward the door. Reflexively, I grabbed onto it.

“My lord…! What are you…!”

“Stop painting the portrait. I’ll deal with Garon, so leave here immediately.”

I firmly shook off his arm.

“I must stay here until the portrait is finished. So, My lord, please…”

“Follow me.”

“My lord…! Wait…!”

Raonhiljo, his voice low and seething, grabbed my wrist and started walking quickly. I planted my feet firmly, trying to resist. My stubbornness made him stop in his tracks, his eyes swirling with confusion and frustration. This time, there was no patience, no consideration.

“Was it forced?”

“…”

“I’ll ask again. Was it against your will?”

I couldn’t answer. I couldn’t even look at him. I just prayed for this torturous moment to pass quickly. But then, a question came that I hadn’t anticipated.

“Do you have feelings for Garon?”

My head snapped up instinctively. The words spilled out of me, a voice unlike my own.

“It’s nothing like that.”

“Then what is it? If it’s neither, then what?”

Raonhiljo’s sharp gaze pierced through me. He was demanding the truth, but I couldn’t give him anything. His bandaged leg caught my eye. If he kept getting involved with me, he’d only end up hurt again. No one should be dragged into this revenge. This was between the Black Martial Emperor and me alone.

“If you keep interfering in my affairs, who knows what might happen to you next. Please, just pretend you don’t know.”

“Ah, I appreciate your concern, but I can take care of myself.”

“My lord, please…”

“Look, I’m the one who butted in, and I’m the one who jumped ahead just because you smiled at me once. From the start, you never cared about me anyway!”

A voice that wasn’t like him at all echoed through Byeolwon. Why are you doing this to me? Why do you keep giving me more attention than I deserve? The questions I had always wanted to ask twisted in my throat. But if I couldn’t hold back and let them spill out now, I knew he would answer without hesitation, just as he always had. Honestly, without hiding anything. If that happened, then I… at that moment… I forced my expression to freeze coldly. My lips trembled slightly.

“Whether it was forced or not, the matter of painting the portrait is none of My lord’s business. So, please, stay out of it.”

A massive fist grazed my ear, slamming into the door as if to break it.

“I’m sick to death of hearing that.”

I couldn’t stay here any longer. I had to get out of here. Instinctively, I shook off the burning hand that was gripping me. In that instant, the thin thread of patience that had been barely holding on in Raonhiljo’s eyes snapped. He yanked me inside, kicking open the door. The moment it slammed shut, his rough strength threw me onto the floor. In an instant, a flesh-burning heat consumed my lips. My jacket was ripped off, and my legs were spread wide. Every time his eyes locked onto the marks blooming across my body, he lost more and more self-control. I shoved him away with all my might.

“My lord…! No…!!”

He sucked on my tongue so hard it made obscene sounds, as if he was trying to rip it out. The saliva that dripped down stung. He didn’t stop there, moving lower. He licked up my exposed neck, bit into my prominent collarbones, and swept over my nipples. The wet tongue on my nipples and the hand wrapping around my genitals sent a tingling sensation through me, like a small bolt of lightning. Raonhiljo closed his eyes tightly, furrowing his brow as he licked my erect nipples.

“Hah… hah…”

“Ugh…! My lord…! Please… stop…!! Haa…”

Raonhiljo’s tongue circled the other nipple, spreading his hot breath. That breath dug into my chest. His center, rubbing against my thighs, was so hot that my head spun. I was terrified by the overwhelming sensations. This wasn’t how he usually breathed. His eyes weren’t like this either. Raonhiljo now had the same look as those men. The ones who trapped me with dangerous propositions, binding my body and soul. The suffocating memories, like dirty water, flooded my ears.

I shut my eyes tightly. My hands, already restrained by him, were useless. My limbs, flailing helplessly in the swamp, gave up completely. His wet tongue inched lower. So, in the end, was this what he wanted from me? He won me over with sweet words, trained me, and in the end, all for this? I guess I have to repay the kindness that was too much for me. I received it, so I have to pay it back. I have to settle all the debts, turn back the time I foolishly allowed myself to be deceived, and restore everything to how it was. If I endure a little longer, this will all be over. It’ll end soon… Soon… I squeezed my eyes shut so tightly that they hurt, wrapped my arms around my head, and bit my lips until they bled. I braced myself for what was about to come crashing down.

But it didn’t come. In the black curtain that blinded me from everything, I only felt his breath against my cheek. His breath still carried heat as it spread across my neck, but that was all. Silence, thick as water, filled the space. Suddenly, his fingers touched me, gently releasing the lips I had been biting down on so hard. My shoulders flinched on their own. But I didn’t open my eyes. I feared that if I did, I would see Orumun’s disgusting smile watching me.

A faint, regretful sigh reached my ears. Something wrapped around my body. Like a fetus in the womb, I curled up inside the blanket, clutching it as my only protection, shutting out the outside world completely. I had no idea how long I stayed like that. Some time later, Naro, pale with worry, finally managed to calm me down from under the blanket. When I regained my senses, Raonhiljo was already gone.

***

As soon as I came to, I started packing my things in Naro’s room. I needed to move to the stable quickly before the Black Martial Emperor noticed. Naro, with a face full of regret, helped me pack my belongings. He kept glancing at me with curious eyes, clearly dying to ask about what had just happened with Raonhiljo, but he didn’t say anything. When I casually asked what day it was, Naro scratched his cheek awkwardly and answered.

“Today? Let’s see… What day is it… The emperor’s birthday was not long ago, so it’s been about two weeks…”

No way… As I counted the days on my fingers, my head went blank. I had completely forgotten that today was the day of the mid-contact. I hadn’t been aware of the passage of time at all. I rushed out of Byeolwon immediately. The labyrinth-like structure delayed me on my way to the castle gate. Could it be that they’d already left while waiting for me? By the time I reached the front gate, the sun was already high in the sky. After catching my breath, I approached the guards. Two armored soldiers crossed their spears in front of me, blocking my way.

“What is your business?”

“I need to step outside for a moment.”

“An exit pass…?”

An exit pass? Did I need someone’s permission to leave? But now wasn’t the time to go through formal procedures.

“I am the painter who is painting the portrait of His Majesty, the Black Martial Emperor. I just need to go out briefly to purchase some materials…”

“Whether you’re a painter or not, you need an exit pass to leave the castle, no exceptions. If you request one today, you’ll have it by tomorrow, so come back then.”

Even though news should have spread about the Imae Tribe painting the Emperor’s portrait, it seemed like they had no idea, and they didn’t seem to believe that someone from the Imae Tribe like me was painting it. I had heard that due to the vast size of the castle, it took days for news to travel from inside to the outskirts, but I didn’t think it would be this bad. I anxiously glanced at the sun setting behind the castle walls.

“Please, I only need a moment. I’ll be back in no time…”

“Do you need a stint in the dungeon to understand? If you want to leave, get an exit pass!”

“Will this do?”

Just then, a hand appeared from behind me and handed something to the soldiers. It was a small piece of paper stamped with the emblem of the Baedal Kingdom. I turned my head and froze in place. The one who had suddenly intervened was Raonhiljo. He shrugged slightly at the soldiers.

“He’s someone I know. Can’t we just make an exception with this?”

“Oh, if His Highness knows him, of course…!”

The soldiers, looking confused, quickly straightened up and bowed respectfully. A few others rushed over and began opening the grand castle gates. Suddenly, a low voice came from above my head.

“I’m sorry.”

Raonhiljo was always someone who spoke honestly, but his expression didn’t seem to match the words, as he didn’t look particularly sorry. I didn’t respond. Soon, the layered castle gates opened, revealing the path outside. Raonhiljo left a brief word of thanks to the soldiers and then put his arm around my shoulder, guiding me forward. The long, dark passage felt like a cave, and the warmth of his hand on my shoulder was unfamiliar.

We walked quite a bit until we entered the bustling streets. Suddenly, I felt a warm gaze brush against my cheek. He had been persistently trying to make eye contact since earlier, but I skillfully avoided it each time.

“Where are you headed? I heard you say earlier that you were going to buy some materials…”

“…”

“Shall we go together, then? I’ve got some things to buy as well.”

Without waiting for my response, Raonhiljo took the lead. I stood still in place. When he didn’t hear the sound of my footsteps, he slowly stopped and turned to look at me.

“Is that a no?”

“Yes.”

At my firm answer, Raonhiljo’s face hardened. Regardless of what had happened between us, I couldn’t go with him since I was on my way to meet the Chieftain. Besides, with his injured leg… As my gaze drifted to his leg, he gave a faint smile.

“It’s just a bullet graze. It doesn’t stop me from walking. Where should we go first?”

Raonhiljo eagerly pulled at my arm, probably thinking I had forgiven him. To show him that wasn’t the case, I remained motionless again. I just looked at him with emotionless eyes. He stopped walking and, after a moment, spoke with a serious tone.

“You’re from the Imae Tribe, so it might be uncomfortable for you to walk around alone. It’s safer with someone.”

“…”

“Then just think of me as a servant. When you buy your things, there’ll be a lot to carry…”

“…”

“How about I just follow behind without bothering you?”

Seeing me clammed up like a shell, he let out a small sigh.

“Alright. I’ll wait here.”

“It’ll take about two sihjin.”

“Two sihjin?”

As I silently stared at him, his eyebrows furrowed slightly.

“Fine. Fine. But if you’re not back by then, I’ll come find you myself, so don’t stop me.”

I turned to leave, then let out a small exclamation. Come to think of it, I had rushed out without bringing any money. It would be strange to go buy materials empty-handed. I turned to Raonhiljo and asked coldly.

“Do you have any money on you?”

“What?”

Raonhiljo asked, baffled by the sudden question.

“Oh, hold on…”

He rummaged through his clothing and pulled out all the gold and silver coins he had, placing them in my hand. It was more than enough to open up a shop of my own. I felt oddly unsettled, like I was some thug extorting money. I took only a few silver coins and returned the rest. Raonhiljo gave me a look as if to say I could keep it all, but I turned away, expressionless, and hurried off. I could feel his gaze lingering on my back, making my skin tingle. I bit down hard on my lips to keep them from curling up.

***

When I arrived at the market entrance, it was hard to see clearly due to the swirling dust and the throng of people and goods. Women carrying bundles as large as themselves glanced at me in surprise, while a few children with runny noses trailed behind me, their eyes sparkling with curiosity. First, I needed to cover my horns and eyes, so I bought a bamboo hat. It was wide and round, perfectly concealing my appearance, and its bamboo slats allowed me to see through, making it quite practical. Suddenly, I found myself worrying about Raonhiljo. Even if it was just a light wound, should he really be moving around on that leg? With a heavy heart, I pulled the hat down low. Thinking of the Chieftain waiting for me, I quickly ran off.

I barely made it out of the city and ran for a while. As I searched my memory for the location of the stone tomb, I spotted it standing alone in the middle of the dense forest. I pushed my legs harder.

“Hah… hah…”

I circled the stone tomb and looked around, but the Chieftain was nowhere to be seen. Perhaps he had waited and then left. Just then, someone unexpectedly touched my shoulder. Startled, I turned around to find a very haggard-looking Chieftain. After confirming my face under the wide hat, he let out a sigh of relief.

“I was just about to leave, thinking you wouldn’t come. You’ve lost a lot of weight.”

For some reason, he was limping and his hand was bent awkwardly. As I looked at him in confusion, the Chieftain explained.

“After losing my antler, I’ve been experiencing these symptoms. The doctor told me to be grateful just for being alive…”

The Chieftain gave a bitter smile. I had recklessly charged in, never expecting we’d meet again like this. I wouldn’t have been surprised to have left the fortress as a cold corpse—at that time, we were in constant danger, unable to predict even a step ahead.

“I couldn’t retrieve the

… The security was so tight, and the location where it’s produced is such a secret that only a few know its exact whereabouts.”

“Hmm… With the Black Martial Emperor overseeing it so meticulously, it wasn’t likely to be easy. The quickest way would be to recruit an artillery expert from the Baedal Kingdom and steal the technology, but they say if there’s even the slightest suspicion, they’re executed on the spot. They’ll wipe out the entire family, relatives, and even friends.”

I shuddered at the thought of such cruelty. It wasn’t surprising anymore, especially after seeing how Raonhiljo had been shot at, even though they were half-siblings. After being around the Black Martial Emperor, it felt like the very moral foundations I had upheld were being shaken to the core.

“They say the Black Martial Emperor is already scouting for the next land to conquer. Have you heard anything?”

“That man would never discuss national affairs in front of me, and I haven’t heard any rumors.”

“Well, most of the neighboring vassal states have already been annihilated, so it must be hard to find new targets. Various tribes are continuing to band together to sharpen their swords against the Black Martial Emperor. If you had brought the Jincheonroe, we have engineers ready to start production immediately. Whether they can replicate its exact performance is another question, but your role is critical.”

Although he didn’t expect immediate results, I still felt powerless coming here empty-handed. The Chieftain regarded me with a thoughtful gaze.

“There’s no need to rush. It’s not like we can bring down the Black Martial Emperor in a short time anyway.”

Despite his words, the Chieftain’s face was also full of anxiety.

“Now that I’ve confirmed you’re alive, you should go. If you’re away for too long, it could raise suspicion.”

The Chieftain pulled a thick blanket over his head. After glancing at me hesitantly, he spoke with a bit of reluctance.

“But you and the Black Martial Emperor…”

“Ah…”

I was at a loss for words for a moment. I knew what the Chieftain was curious about, but I didn’t want to talk about it, so I just nodded slightly. Suddenly, the Chieftain’s voice boomed through the forest.

“What, what?! Is that true?! That Black Martial Emperor…?!”

The Chieftain’s reaction was far more intense than I expected. His jaw practically dropped, and he couldn’t contain his shock. Although he had known my purpose was to get close to the Black Martial Emperor, he had never imagined it would actually come to fruition. I hadn’t either. The Chieftain finally regained his composure, but tension lingered in the deep wrinkles of his brow.