Unwilling Eldritch Horror of Fortune

The four of us walked up to the cultist leaders. I allowed Noe’s perception manipulation to dissipate and the effects were immediate. All eyes were on us. We tried to approach in as much of a nonthreatening manner as possible, with our hands up and waving slowly.

“Good morn-”

I didn’t get to finish my greeting before a battleax flew right toward my face. A ‘roided up red individual from way out back hurled it the second I started to open my mouth. I sighed. What else did I honestly expect from the insane evil cultists? I even tried to calm them down as best I could with Noe’s shard after that, but the sheer number of the aliens cluttering the area made it hard to get everyone under its effect.

I caught the thrown weapon and gently placed it down. “Good morning! We’re not here for violence-”

Another thrown weapon, a spear this time, was hurled at us, followed by a volley of arrows and other random objects. They were deflected, caught, and avoided just as easily by the four of us.

“Please, let’s talk this out.”

And that’s when the crazed cultists did what any self-respecting group of crazed cultists should do. They charged at us. Yeah, let’s “talk it out” with the blood-soaked lunatics. Great idea.

“Okay…” Xalla muttered, blushing as she dodged a sword strike, “Maybe I was being optimistic.”

Molly graced us with one of her trademark sighs. “Walter, do you have this?”

I shook my head. “Yeah, let’s just hope that something goes right and their gods aren’t quite so… enthusiastic.”

A flare of my will and I set Noe’s ability close to maximum output. The effect was immediate. The charging mass of bodies crumbled to the floor as I sapped them of their will to even breathe, much less move. I allowed them to wallow in that state of utter atrophy for grueling moments, letting them know in no uncertain terms who was in charge, before easing up on the emotion manipulation.

That left the gathered cultists gasping for breath and they stared up at my friends and I in fear. Even the three mortal leaders were not spared Noe’s wrath, and they looked at me with trembling bodies.

“Like I said,” I repeated calmly, “We’re just here to talk. Now would you three lovely individuals like to reciprocate the request?”

They stared at each other one last time before the lead woman, the really boil-y one, nodded, although I could tell that she struggled to do even that.

“Excellent!” I smiled and eased up on Noe’s skill further, allowing the three to stand up. “How about we find somewhere more private to have our nice chat?”

The leaders got up on unsteady feet before quickly glancing around at the crumpled bodies around them. They got the message real quick after that, and quickly bid us to follow them into the old Mayor’s office. This place had been spared the worst of the cultist uprising, although the soot and dust had coated the beautiful furniture and tables.

We sat down at the conference table and I gestured for the other three to sit on the opposite side of the table. I cleaned the worst of the dust from our table and even got some tea out of my inventory to share with everyone. Only my friends and I drank any of it.

I broke the ice. “Good afternoon, and thank you for seeing us on such short notice. That was very kind of you three, I’m sure you’re very busy with the uprising you’ve just successfully staged. Brilliant work there.”

To the credit of the three cultists, they didn’t outright grimace when I said such blatant bullshit, although I did notice slight twitches on their faces. Good, that meant that they understood the position they were in and could practice restraint, so they were not entirely brainless like their followers outside. That’s a good start.

“Anyway,” I continued with a smile, “I wanted to discuss a few things with you three.”

I gestured for Q to continue. After my last attempt to go at it solo, I think I learned that sometimes it’s best to let others to the talking. He seemed like the most level-headed out of the four of us, and he’s probably better at diplomacy than I ever was.

“As my friend said,” Q said, addressing the three cult leaders, “We are here to discuss some important issues that this world is undergoing. But before that, I have a few questions for you.”

The three nodded quickly.

Q smiled. “Good. Can I assume that you represent the most prominent devotees for your respective gods?”

More nods, but the big brick-looking dude spoke up after a moment, his voice was surprisingly clear and calm, “We are the highest followers in this cohort, but not in its entirety.”

Q nodded. “But you are high-ranking members.”

“Yes.”

“And you have a good method of convening with your patron gods?”

Now they frowned a little, unsure what exactly Q meant.

“Sorry,” he added, “I mean that you have ways to send and receive messages directly from your gods, whether that be through ritual, sacrifice, or prayer?”

The big man nodded again, “Yes, that’s possible, although it will depend on what is needed… what you need us to do that is. It is easier for us to hear their wills, but with enough work, we can also send messages to the gods.”

And he’s a relatively smart guy. I’m starting to like this one.

“Excellent!” Q exclaimed, “Then I need the three of you to send a simple message to your gods. Only one of you need to succeed, really, but it’d be better if more are successful just to be safe.”

They listened intently.

That’s when Q shed his guise and showed the three cowering cultists his true form. “We, the four of us, the End Bringers as your people know us, would like an audience with your gods and their faction. Ask them nicely, although do stress how important it is that they make time out of their busy schedules to do so. Impress upon them that if they don’t make the time themselves, then we’d be forced to make time for them. None of you would want that.”

The three nodded slowly , their nerves on full display. They stared at Q for almost a full minute before the most able-bodied among the three woke up from whatever reverence they were in and quickly shoved their comrades awake.

“We understand… We will d- do as you will,” the withered individual said, from the tone of his waxy voice I could assume that he was male. “It will be done!”

The big cultist stopped after a second and asked, “Is… is there any specific message you would like us to send? About the nature of the meeting that is. Um, if it’s not a bother for your esteemed selves.”

Q shrugged, “Just tell them that we’re here to talk and to discuss. That is all.”

Those were pretty unclear terms, but I trusted Q’s judgment here; if he thought it wise to give as little information as possible, then I wasn’t going to contradict him. The cultists clearly didn’t mind either.

In fact, Molly had to all but nudge them get them to leave and do as commanded. Their eyes were glued onto Q, while some took nervous glances our way, and it was clear what they were wondering. They wanted to know what hid just beneath that flesh suit, although it was best that they never found out. I remembered distinctly what almost happened to my human mind when Molly first looked at me, and she had been in doll form then.

The four of us remained in the conference room even after the cultists had gone to do whatever it was evil cultists needed to do to talk to their gods. I didn’t want to be there to see how that was accomplished.

“Do you think they’ll make time to see us?” Xalla asked as she sipped on her drink, she wasn’t exactly adept at using a standard fleshy mouth and was spilling some of the liquid.

“I don’t see why they wouldn’t,” I answered, “They’d be as desperate to figure out what we’re doing to their dimension as their good god counterparts.”

Q shook his head and sighed, “There are no good or evil gods, Walter.”

“Yeah, yeah,” I muttered, “But they’re just as curious about us and what we want compared to the “order” deities, and if the pantheon is as fractured as all the other pantheons in the multiverse, then the “chaos” faction will be desperate to get a leg up on their competitors.”

I looked at Q after changing my vocabulary, but he just gave me a tiny sigh before continuing. “They’ll definitely make time for the meeting, although how they’ll receive us is anyone’s guess. I don’t think I need to say how bad things will go if they set a trap and force us to defend ourselves, right?”

All of us looked around the ravaged city and nodded. I don’t think anyone needed reminding of just what would happen if we overdid things again.

I frowned. “So how do we ensure that they don’t overreact and force us to accidentally blow up this entire dimension and all of its inhabitants?”

“Good question…” Molly raised a small hand and asked, “Can you not use your emotional ability on the gods? To calm them down enough for them to listen to us?”

“I could,” I said, “but only once we see them. If they decided to sabotage the meeting point beforehand then it’s kind of a moot point.”

“Fair,” Molly replied, “but how likely is that to happen?”

“Anything’s a possibility after our…. ‘interesting’ entrance,” Q answered for me, “I wouldn’t hedge my bets against the gods doing something drastic to ensure their own safety, even if that something is extremely unwise. They don’t know what we can do yet.”

“Then we assume the worst and have them meet us on our terms,” I said, “No compromises there, this dimension can’t afford any more of our screw-ups even if we can.” I turned toXalla. “Can you secure this place as the meeting spot for the gods? Make sure that they don’t try to sneak anything in here while we’re not looking, that kind of stuff. I’ll bet you anything that they’ll try to sneak in some spies before agreeing to the meeting.”

Xalla nodded, “It shouldn’t be a problem even with the fragile state this place is in…” She paused to look around before frowning. “I’ll be extra careful though, don’t worry, and Q can attest to how well I can do my job.”

“Not a single security breach under her care,” Q smiled, “Xalla’s good.”

Xalla blushed at the compliment. “Anything else you need me to do, Walter?”

I thought for a moment but shook my head. “I can’t think of anything, but you know more about this stuff than me, so use your best judgment. Just remember that the gods are our main concern here, I don’t think the mortals will give us much pause, but do what you think is necessary to ensure we receive our guests well. We’ve screwed up enough already, so being extra safe can’t hurt.”

“Will do!” Xalla smiled. “It’s been a while since I worked as security with Q again. Would you care to join me?”

“Of course, and it’s a pleasure to have you back on our side, just like old times,” Q returned the smile, “It’s the little things that I forgot I missed; thanks again for snapping me out of things, Walter… I don’t know what I’d do if you guys didn’t come.”

“Not a problem, Q, and please get everything set up with your boss, Xalla,” I said, “I guess the rest of us better get ready to meet them as well. Remember, we’re not trying to scare them; we’re here just to talk and find out where Stanton is. Let them know that we come in peace.”

Molly nodded, “Then let’s clean up this place first, make them feel comfortable at the very least. I can handle that, and before you ask, the answer is no, Walter, I am not going to ‘eat’ the dirt.”

It was honestly a little annoying how she could predict the kinds of questions I would ask. “Do you need any help?”

She shook her head. “No, I can do it myself; you’d be surprised by the amount of cleaning I’ve done over the years that I’ve looked after Alice. Why don’t you check on the cultists to make sure they don’t do something they’ll regret? They don’t seem like the most intelligent bunch.”

Xalla sighed, “Agreed… it’s why I never bothered having any. The hassle isn’t worth it.” She looked at me before adding, “For me at least. I think your cultists are useful, Walter.”

I chuckled, “I know Xalla, and thanks for getting the cult started; they’ve been pulling their weight so far.”

“Raffiel helped as well…”

I winced, I had almost completely forgotten about the fake angel with all the insanity going on. “What happened to him by the way? I haven’t seen him since Jordan and her people came in.”

Q sighed. “He was laid off along with most of the people directly under him. Last time I heard he’s back in hell taking care of his dutchy, but I know he’ll miss the Trials. It’s something else that we’ll have to fix.”

Q got up from his chair and drank the last of his tea. “Come on Xalla, we should get started, it’ll take a while to secure this place if we can’t use most of the tools at our disposal.”