Unwilling Eldritch Horror of Fortune

Once the dust was finally settled, I could fully appreciate the look of this wicked Avatar thing. It kind of looked like a weird, slightly deformed demon. It had six pairs of wings made of fire with two arms that extended to below its feet, although it had three joints so its arms looked like weird noodles. Compared to its arms, the demon thing’s legs were almost comically small. They looked like the little stub legs from a munchkin cat as they were attached to a torso that was the size of several city buses. Finally, its face was a more menacing visage of the aliens present, with fangs and hard edges. It looked…

“It looks ridiculous,” Molly said; I had to agree with her, “I have seen the anatomy of thousands of different species in my time, and nothing even comes close to how ineffective that thing’s physiology is.”

“It’s… um, different, certainly,” Xalla muttered, “What do you suppose it’ll do if it ever stops flying?”

Q shook his head. “Certainly not walk, that’s for sure. I suppose it can crawl around with those weird arms.”

“Look, let’s give it the benefit of the doubt,” I added, “The golden guys seem pretty intimidated by this thing. Maybe that’s just what the mortals fear in this plane.”

And it was true, aside from Ashwin and his immediate allies, the rest of the invading army was momentarily frozen in fear. They looked up at the huge noodle-armed thing and almost screamed before the Champions did something to regain their composure. A warm light engulfed the army and they could act again, although only just.

That’s when the noodle demon attacked. It’s arms spread out to absolutely ridiculous lengths and swept out to whip at the defenders below. The Champions were the first to respond, and they erected a dazzling barrier of pure energy that managed to block the worst of the demon’s attack. Unfortunately, all that amounted to was that instead of being bisected down the waist, the warriors just lost limbs instead. Healers quickly rushed to take the seriously wounded away while more linemen filled the gaps.

I saw Ashwin shout something to the army, it was too far away for me to make out, even with Noe’s help, but whatever he said boosted their morale and the army started to regroup. The archers and mages in the back started to bombard the huge noodle demon with long-range attacks, but most of those were deflected by its massive wings. The ones that did manage to penetrate its thick hide did minimal damage at best.

“It’s sturdy, I’ll give it that,” I remarked, “But given how much energy the cultists expended to summon that thing, I’d better be sturdy.”

“I think it’s kind of cute how it’s trying its best to use its arms like a Xollon feeler,” Xalla added, “Although the rest of it is still questionable.”

“It’s a flawed design nonetheless,” Q added, “Its wings are too large to allow it proper movement, not to mention that it is simply too large. It’s a common mistake that amateur Alchemists make, but once a construct gets to a certain size, its coordination and fine motor skills will decrease to unacceptable levels.”

Q was correct because once the huge army started to split up, the noodle demon had an incredibly hard time accurately striking at any one target. It made up for it in sheer size, but eventually, once the numbers of warriors dwindled and only the best of the best were left, the demon could hardly hit anything.

“See,” Q continued, “It’s so big that it can’t properly maneuver around the battlefield, and being stuck in the air is also causing it trouble. It has too many blindspots being so high up, and there’s our Aspirant taking advantage of that right now.”

The creature’s aimless blows with its arms had covered the ground in sludge and dirt, which made the perfect cover for Ashwin to sneak up right below the thing. The demon was so oblivious to what was right under its feet that it had allowed Ashwin to charge up an insane amount of mana; it was all concentrated on the tip of his spear. Soon, the glow of energy grew to such intensity that it was impossible to ignore, but it was already too late.

Ashwin’s teammates and the surviving army managed to block any attempts from the demon to retaliate, and once the energy grew to its crescendo, the Aspirant shot up like a rocket, piercing the demon right in its unfortunate parts.

“Ouch,” Xalla winced, “That must have hurt.”

“Like I said, it’s a terribly designed construct,” Q muttered with a sigh, “It’ll be over soon, I think it’s best if you prepare to act, lady Malice.”

Molly’s sigh was the only response she gave.

It really was over soon after that. The ritual that the idiot cultists had performed might not have outright killed their allies, but it did pretty much cripple their ability to fight. The lucky ones who were spared the worst of the ritual’s effect were so weak that they could barely put up a fight as the invaders rushed through the front gates. The Conduit and his gang were slowly being pushed back by the enemy’s own Champions, while Ashwin and his party cleaned up the noodle demon.

It took half an hour for all of our major forces to be overwhelmed, and an hour for our gates to be fully breached. The cultist’s defeat was so total that only the few servants that were left for our use were left. I assume the cult leaders were still below ground doing their thing, but it was clear that it was our time to act.

“I’ll steal the Aspirant and his companions,” Molly said as she got up from her seat, “You three ensure that the ritual isn’t breached.”

“Actually,” Q added quickly, “I’ll do that. Uh, no offense, Xalla, Walter, but I think it best if you two just relax for now. Walter’s still recovering, and Xalla’s…”

The Xollon gave her boss an understanding smile. “I know, I’m not exactly the most subtle person. Walter and I can cheer you on!”

“Thank you,” he replied. Q finished his drink and stood up with Molly. “Let’s get going then.”

Xalla and I decided to follow Q to the underground bunker to ensure that nothing went wrong there. We needed that ritual to be completed no matter what, and although we all trusted Q’s abilities, it was better to proceed with caution than take any risks.

It was eerily quiet the second time we came around, where there was a constant bustle of activity, there was hardly any movement around at all. The few remaining individuals were either slumped on the ground due to the aftermath of the ritual or were jittering uncontrollably in fear. Xalla and I pushed the ones who still had some brain function to the side so that they wouldn’t get in the way of Q’s work.

The two of us also entered the ritual hall, choosing to stand close to the entrance to minimize the disturbance. Xalla and I sat down and waited. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but nothing had happened to breach Q’s defenses, and Xalla and I sat in silence, with only the droning of the cultist’s chants acting as a distraction.

Before long, Molly and Q rejoined us, both of them confirming that things had gone smoothly on their ends, although I could have inferred that since the dimension didn’t collapse upon itself. Q had set up a simple barrier around this room and without Ashwin and his immediate followers to help, the invaders couldn’t enter this space at all. Molly assured that the Aspirant was safe and secure, although she wasn’t sure how long his friends would last. Either way, we were anticipating the first meeting with the gods.

Before long, a wave of energy, even greater than the one that had summoned the noodle demon from before, condensed into the center of the underground room, and a very tired-looking cultist came to inform us that the ritual had been completed. In the middle of the space, surrounded by burnt-out candles and spent offerings, was a blazing portal that seemed to lead deep underground.

I glanced at Q, trying to check with him to see if it was safe to use.

“It should be safe,” the man responded, “It’s not the kind of portal that you or I would make, it’s more of a… local bend of spacetime here, instead of a complete fracture, fueled by their faith.”

“Yes, my lords…” one of the lead cultists said, it was the androgynous one, “Please enter as soon as you can. We cannot maintain the formation for long.”

Before we went into the portal, I quickly pulled my friends over to the side to discuss some last-minute things. Q ensured that we wouldn’t be overheard.

“Okay,” I started, “Once we’re on the other side, do you mind if I did the talking? Now that we know the Origin Matrix has a hand in current events, we can’t just go in without a proper plan.”

“And you have a proper plan?” Molly asked dubiously.

“Sort of… but it’s better than nothing.” I calmed down and looked at my three friends. “Look, we need to know more about the situation, and I don’t think these gods are going to be too forthright if we just tell them the truth. We need to unsettle them, make them think that they’re more important than they really are and that it’s worth it for them to support our cause instead of whatever Origin promised them.”

Molly nodded slowly. “And you can do this?”

“It’s what I’m best at, but I’ll also need your help,” I answered honestly, “Just let me do the majority of the talking and follow my lead as best you can, I might need to make adjustments on the fly, but don’t react if I do something crazy.”

“That’s awfully ambiguous,” Xalla said, “But I’m sure that we’ll try to follow along. I think I can say this for the whole group, but we trust you, Walter.”

I smiled. “Thanks, I mean it. Just remember that my plan is to gather information, and to unnerve the gods. If they’re the classic evil god type, which, if I’ve learned anything from their cultists, they seem to be, then they won’t listen to logic or reason.”

Q glanced at the carnage and occult relics around and nodded. “That seems to be a safe assumption.”

Xalla nodded as well. “I’ve worked with my fair share of followers, but these ones certainly are… um, certainly enthusiastic about what they do.”

I chuckled. “Okay, here’s what I need you three to do, and the rough roles that you’ll take when we’re on the other side. Remember, it’s only a rough outline, and I’ll need all of you to adapt as needed, can you do that?”

They nodded.

“Alright, here’s the plan…”

Five minutes later, after I was fairly confident that I’ve covered most of my basis, I gestured that I was finished speaking and pointed at the portal, indicating for Q to take the first step. He didn’t hesitate before leaping into the shimmering void, disappearing completely. Molly joined right after, followed by Xalla. I took a step closer before turning around to look at the exhausted cultists.

“Just a heads up, in case you didn’t know, but your hideout’s been overrun by the uh, false gods’ minions. My friend’s barrier’s keeping them out for now, but I suggest that you guys make a run for it as soon as you can.”

They nodded. “Thank you, esteemed guests. We have passages that will ensure our safety. Please do not worry about us.”

“Alright, good luck then,” I said before jumping into the portal myself.

Now that sleepy-Walter was back, it was finally time for me to do what my awakened form couldn’t, and that was bullshit my way through trouble! Sometimes having a limited view of everything worked in my favor.