Unwilling Eldritch Horror of Fortune

I read the information again for the fourth time before finally calming down enough to unpack all of the information presented. My situation was already crazy enough, and indulging in my delusions could prove a way to pass the time; any information that I could work with - real or not - was better than just waiting around.

First of all, the information presented was organized into categories, detailing my basic information, statistics, titles, and the like. Very much like data in a game or a D&D character sheet. Assuming that this was all a visual hallucination, does that mean that I secretly prefer organizing data into this method? I never considered myself a gamer or the like, and I’ve only been in a few starting sessions for tabletop RPGs, so maybe this was some kind of Freudian subconscious thing.

Stop getting distracted, I told myself, focus on the information that I can actually use.

So, most of the data I hallucinated didn’t tell me anything, or at least it was nothing that I could use now. Strength and Dex stats would mean nothing if I had no reference to compare them to. Was 26 Intelligence good? Bad? Doesn’t matter. That information is irrelevant. Discard them for now.

What I can use is the information about myself. I was listed as a 27-year-old Human Male. What stood out was the fact that my race was listed. Does that indicate that other races exist? Would animals have stat screens like I do? And what about the magic stat? Why even have a stat there if magic doesn’t exist? Could it represent something else like… scientific knowledge or something?

Stop. I told myself again, Do not get lost in useless conjectures.

What was useful, and something that I could test to see if I really was just going crazy or not, was the abilities screen. Most were passives whose descriptions meant nothing to me without more context, except for that one active skill. That one I can feasibility test.

Noe. I asked, Explain the Absolute Luck skill to me in more detail.

“Acknowledged.” the voice said, “The Absolute Luck skill, as the name implies, will ensure that any action taken by Host Watt will result in the statistically best outcome. The outcome is based on Unit Noe’s Luck Algorithm 1 Alpha. Would Host Watt like to hear an explanation of this algorithm? The explanation will only take 6.49102 Earth years to complete.”

Uh, no.

“Confirmed. Unit Noe will continue where left off.” Noe paused for a few seconds, before starting its explanation again, “Host Watt can will the skill to active, and as long as there are Luck Charges available for use, Unit Noe will ensure that the statistically best outcome will occur as stated before. Luck Charges will be expended based on the improbability of an event occurring, based on Unit Noe’s Luck Algorithm 1 Gamma. Would the host like to hear an-

No. I thought quickly, nor would I like to hear any other explanation of your algorithms.

“Acknowledged.” it chimed, “Continuing prior explanation. If an event’s probability of occurring exceeds the amount of Luck Charges available, then the next best outcome will be chosen, going down a list of events stipulated by Luck Algorithm 1 Theta. This course of action will continue until the event chosen can come to be based on available Luck Charges.”

Ok, everything’s pretty straightforward so far.

“Maximum number of Luck Charges that can be stored will increase based on Host Watt’s level, class, titles, and physical statistics, determined based on Luck Algorithm 1 Beta. Host Watt is encouraged to test out the Absolute Luck skill as soon as possible to ensure that all system parameters are working at optimal performance.”

Well, seeing as there’s nothing else to do, I might as well take the advice of the random voice in my head. Huh, now that I think about it, isn’t this what the other crazies do, listening to the whims of their head-voices? At least this one isn’t telling me to kill everyone around me... yet.

I sighed and scanned my surroundings one last time, and after confirming that nothing changed since I was first awake, I quietly left my seat and tried to activate the Absolute Luck ability. Just as I was about to question how I would even do that, I felt a tingling sensation wash through me, sort of like I was zapped by a tiny current of electricity, and in the corner of my eye a small “100/100” was displayed.

So Noe, does that mean the skill’s active? I asked.

“Affirmative,” it responded.

Ok… but nothing’s happening?

No response.

I mean Noe, I thought again, remembering to address the thing in my head, How come nothing is happening?

“Negative. The ability is online and functioning as intended. All Host Watt has to do is to act as normal, and Unit Noe will ensure that only the best possible outcome of said actions will occur.”

Not knowing what else to say, I sat up, and having nothing else to do, I decided to slowly check out the conditions of the others around me. As I noticed further away, each individual was tied up, and as far as I could tell, that was the only similarity between them. The people were of various ethnicities, ages, and ways of dress. There were no children or the really old or infirm, but other than that it seemed like our kidnapper - or kidnappers - decided to randomly select people from various places and stuck them all here.

Even after walking a full circle around the room’s perimeter, including checking to see if that big door in the front would open (it doesn’t), the amount of Luck Charge didn’t seem to go down. This made sense if I assumed that just checking out each person one by one is an event that would have next to no variance in terms of what could happen.

Just as I was thinking of what I could possibly do to use up some of those Luck Charges, something bumped into my leg, causing me to lose my footing and trip. Instinctively I held up my arms to brace for the fall, and by a stroke of luck I wasn’t injured when I landed on the floor, even though my face was inches away from smashing into the wall.

To put insult to injury, it seemed that the amount of Luck Charges decreased after tripping, going from 100 to 96. Great, some Luck System that was. I was finally about to conclude that I was actually mentally unwell when I noticed that the ring finger on my left hand appeared to be going through the floor.

Focusing my attention on the bizarre scene, I realized that my finger wasn’t going through the floor, but it was pushing a tiny button whose shape was remarkably similar to the shape of my fingertip. I removed my finger from the strange button, and before I could do anything else a huge, square opening appeared in the ground. There were stairs leading down to a well-lit corridor, but I couldn’t see much else from my angle.

Ok, the probability of pushing a tiny, perfectly finger-sized secret camouflaged button on the ground seems pretty low. Maybe the voice in my head was real.

No. I thought to myself, One improbable event can still happen, let’s not assume anything yet.

Steeling myself, and seeing how staying trapped isn’t a real option, I went down the strange opening and into the corridor. As I expected, the opening closed by itself as soon as I was fully inside, and with no other option than to go forward, I walked.

The corridor was longer than I thought, and by the time I hit the end, my Luck Charges were already fully refreshed. The corridor ended with a small, unassuming metal door. There were no labels or writing to indicate where the door leads, and the only thing that I could interact with was a small glass number pad. I guess it was password-operated.

This was also the perfect test to see if the Noe Luck System was real or not, which I really do hope was the case, because if it wasn’t then I was stuck in this corridor until I died of dehydration.

Perhaps going down the secret passage wasn’t a good idea.

Well, here goes nothing. Making sure that the Absolute Luck Skill was active, I placed my hand close to the glass panel and closed my eyes. Strangely, I could still see the amount of Luck Charges I had even with my eyes closed. Ignoring that, I started to press buttons at random, and at the same time, saw that the amount of Luck Charges was steadily going down. Fast.

From the full 100 charges, it went down to 90, then 80, 70, 60. It wasn’t until the amount plummeted to a pitiful 28 that it stopped. Curious to see if anything actually happened, I opened my eyes and saw that the panel changed. Some strange… symbols? Runes? Scribbles or something appeared on the small screen above the numbers, and even stranger, those nonsense writing started to warp before my eyes to turn into something that I could read, and the metal door slowly slid open.

WELCOME TO TESTING SITE 1102 LORD ARBITER. THE SITE ADMIN HAS BEEN NOTIFIED OF YOUR ARRIVAL. PLEASE ENJOY YOUR STAY.