Upside Down – Alternate Destiny

The walk to the main entrance of the hospital seemingly lasted forever because Mom spent our time heading there handing out helpful advice such as, ‘Don’t take such big steps.’ ‘Don’t refer to yourself as male.’ My absolute favorite was when we finally made it to the entrance and she told us to wait there while she went to get the car. She looked at me and the way I was standing, and immediately frowned and stated, ‘Sora, girls don’t stand that way. Put your legs together.’

It’s quite tiring, mentally, and darn sure almost enough to make me want to go back to the hospital room. Almost. It might have been more appealing to me if I didn’t hate hospitals so much.

The doctor was right, I tire quickly. The further we walked, the more Chinatsu had to support me. Right now, I feel as if I’ve run a kilometer as fast as I could. My legs are shaky, and I feel as if they might just give out. Thankfully, there was a bench near the entrance. Chinatsu helps me over to it, where we sit down. Once we’re seated, she looks at the way I’m sitting, reaches over to pull my knees together, and then crosses my ankles without a word. Not that she needed to with her expression.

After she straightens up, she takes my hand and says, “Sis, you might think we’re being too pushy about this, but the sooner you ingrain these habits, the better it will be. They need to be second nature. Remember, you’ll have to go back to school soon, and you’ll stand out far too much if you continue as you have been. You already know what’ll happen then.”

I’m too tired to argue the point, and of course, I do know. This is Japan, even with all the progress we’ve made, conformity is still a huge factor in society, so the nail that sticks up gets hammered down. I’ll simply have to work at all of this until it becomes something I never think about. Trust me, I have enough on my plate already, so I darn sure don’t need any more problems to deal with.

“Don’t overthink it, like always. Just listen and allow us to help you become the beautiful girl you are. If you do, then everything will be fine,” she tells me, trying to encourage me. Although, from my point of view, how she thinks that is helpful is beyond me.

I bark out a short, sharp laugh, then tell her, “That’s far easier said than done, but hey, whatever. It’s not as if I have any choice except to do my best. Do I?”

Chinatsu giggles at my wry grin and squeezes my hand a little for a moment. “Don’t worry. I get it. This is all new to you. Mom and I, we got you. You know that.”

“I do, and regardless, thank you.” I wrap an arm around her shoulders and give her a light hug. “Believe me, I appreciate it and that you two are here for me.” I look over at her and smile self-deprecatingly, then state. “Heck, it isn’t as if I could do this without you.”

I know nothing about being a girl. Not that I was ever much of what most people would call a boy to begin with. Although who or what I was shouldn’t have mattered, it seems that to some, it always will, as if it’s any of their business. I was solidly androgynous in my looks, not all that tall, but not short either; told by several people that I was rather cute; slender, and not the athletic type.

Of course, I don’t believe for a second that is why any of them picked on me. I know part of it is that when I began middle school, class size massively jumped, and to me, that was rather… shall we say, intimidating. I was already extremely leery of males at that point due to everything that happened in primary school.

I’m not even sure when or why it started, but I’m timid, afraid to try new things, afraid of crowds, and constantly bullied by the guys, and a couple of the more… umm, shall we say, masculine girls, in my school. All because they said I was ‘girly.’ More than once, Chinatsu told me the main reason I was picked on by them was that I was popular with the girls because I was smart, cute, and kind. Not that I believed her. I mean, I know a lot of girls in my class talked to me and asked me to help them with their schoolwork, but that doesn’t mean I was popular, now does it? And yes, I am very smart. They tested my IQ in 6th year, and I performed extremely well. It’s not surprising in my view, considering who my parents were.

Anyway, I’ve never had any real male friends. Well, that is up until this year in middle school, when I met Ryuichi Ueno. He stepped in when some bullies had cornered me and stopped them. We started talking and hanging out once in a while after that. I think it’s safe to consider him my sole male friend. I’d seen him around before, it was hard not to, considering that he was by far the biggest guy in our grade. Not simply in height, but he’s rather heavily muscled, too. He told me that his father runs a dojo, so he had been taking martial arts lessons and working out since he was five, which made me wonder if I should learn martial arts as well. Well, as you can guess, I didn’t. See above where I mentioned being afraid of new things.

Random thoughts fired unceasingly through my mind while we waited. Soon enough, Mom pulled into the drop-off area and tapped on the horn. Chinatsu stands up and offers her other hand to me, which makes me smile wryly because I need it. I’m not sure if I could have stood back up on my own. She wraps an arm around my waist, while I drape an arm across her shoulders, and with her help, we slowly make our way to the car.

Once we get in the back seat and buckle up, Mom looks at me in the rearview mirror and asks, “Sora, are you alright? You aren’t hurting, are you?”

“I’m fine. I’m just a bit shaky. It’s nothing that the doctor didn’t explain. With a little rest, I’ll be right as rain.”

She looks at Chinatsu for confirmation, and she shrugs noncommittally. Mom seems to consider something for a few moments, then pulls away. She works her way out to the main street and makes a left.

“Umm, Mom, isn’t the house in the other direction?”

She glances at me in the rearview mirror, then states, “Sora, I told you that we had other things to do, didn’t I?”

　◇ ◆ ◇ ◆ ◇ ◆ ◇

After making our way through the heavy traffic for approximately twenty minutes, she pulls into a parking lot, prompting me to ask, “Mom, why are we at the mall?”

“There’re quite a few things you need before we can go home. Lingerie, clothes, shoes, and a new school uniform. So, that means we’re shopping.”

“What?! Can’t I just wear my clothes?”

“Come on, sis. You don’t believe those will fit you, do you? I mean, you’ve seen yourself. You’re shorter and much more petite than you were. Heck, one of your old t-shirts would look like a dress or nightgown on you. The rest would fall right off you.”

Dejectedly, I reply, “Yeah, I suppose that’s true.”

“Alright, I’m glad that’s settled.” She stops in the driveway a few meters from an entrance, and says, “You two can get out here and wait for me at the bench over there. There’s no point in making Sora walk from the car to the entrance. Chinatsu, be sure to keep an eye on Sora.”

“I always have. It isn’t as if I’m going to suddenly stop now.”

Chinatsu opens the door, gets out, and offers me her hand. I scoot over and gratefully take her hand. She helps me stand up and walk over to the bench to sit down, while Mom drives off to find a parking space.

Once we’re seated, I take a look at the surroundings. I’ve never liked large crowds, which made just about any place in public hell for me. After all, this is Tokyo. I have to admit, I’m much better at dealing with crowds now. I was terrified when I began school. If it weren’t for Chinatsu, I never would have made it as far as I have because she had always stayed glued to my side. Chinatsu has always been a reassuring and calming influence on me. Thankfully, both of our parents had talked to the school, so they always made sure that Chinatsu and I were in the same class, until we got into middle school, that is. Chinatsu doesn’t place the same importance on her schoolwork that I do, so we were in different classes. I’ve gotten more used to being around a lot of people, but I still get nervous and still have a hard time dealing with large crowds of people I don’t know.

“Wow, Chi, it’s really busy today.”

“Of course it is. It’s Saturday, after all,” she tells me as she tightens her hand around mine and scoots a little closer to help reassure me. She knows all too well how I am.

We’re seated on a bench about 5 meters from the main entrance of the mall, which has a large crowd of people hanging around. Amongst them are a couple of groups of guys. One group appears to be college-age students, and the other group is closer to our age, 3rd-year middle school or 1st-year high school students. Both groups are openly staring at us, which makes me even more nervous. I hate being watched.

“Chi, I don’t like this. They are staring at us.”

“Who is?”

“Those guys over by the entrance,” I say, lifting my chin in their direction.

Chinatsu momentarily glances over, then looks back at me. “Ignore them. They can’t help but look. We’re both pretty cute, you know?”

I blush beet red to the tips of my ears. “Really, Chi? Seriously, can you not say those kinds of things?” I take a breath and blow it out, “Sheesh, it’s like you just love embarrassing me.”

Chinatsu giggles and squeezes my hand a little tighter for a moment. “Of course, I do. You’re just so friggin’ cute when you blush that I can’t help myself.”

While she is doing her best to make me burst into flames and meltdown, the younger group of three boys saunters over to us. When they reach us, the center guy says, “Hey, you girls are really cute,” which makes me think, ‘Really? Do we have to add more reasons for me to want to slink away and hide?’

Regardless of my thoughts, he continues, “How about you two join us for some fun?”

“Thanks, but no,” Chinatsu tells them politely, but firmly.

He looks at her for a moment, then further tries to coax her, “Aww, come on, don’t be like that. We’ll show you a good time.”

All this time, he’s done nothing but leer at us, which literally makes my skin crawl. Then he laughs repulsively when Chinatsu glares at him. Why are some boys so disgusting? I’ve been a girl for all of 5 minutes now, and I find his behavior absolutely repulsive.

“I told you, ‘No thank you,’ and I meant it. We are waiting for someone. So, find some other victims to harass, and leave us alone,” Chinatsu reiterates, but it seems to have little effect on them.

He leans forward and sticks his face right in Chinatsu’s. “Listen up, bitch. You two are going to come with us. I promise we’ll be very gentle,” he states and laughs repulsively again.

I seriously feel like I’m about to pass out when an all too familiar voice comes from behind us. “Boys, I suggest you move along and leave my daughters alone, unless you want me to crack those thick skulls for you.”

I turn my head around so fast that I hear the vertebrae in my neck pop, and there stands our father. A random thought fires through my overwrought mind, ‘Wasn’t he supposed to be busy today?’

The first of the guys scoffs and glances back at his buddies as he says, “Old man, there are three of us and one of you. What do you think you can do? Anyway, we weren’t gonna hurt them no how, right guys?”

The biggest guy amongst them looks Dad up and down, as if sizing him up, before he snidely says, “Come on guys, these bitches aren’t worth the effort. They’re probably all worn out from fucking their Dad anyway.”

If I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes, I’d have thought someone was exaggerating. I never even caught sight of his movements. One moment, Dad was standing beside us, and the next, he was in front of us with the large boy somehow flying off to land in the bushes.

Dad glares at the two remaining boys as he menacingly asks, “Do either of you have something you’d care to add?”

They seem to finally understand that they bit off far more than they can chew with him and don’t even bother to answer as they turn around and flee. While I’m happy and more than a little relieved to see Dad here, my head and shoulders droop as tears begin to fall. I can’t help it or stop myself since I was scared witless. I don’t even know if they are tears of relief or what. Chinatsu pulls me against her and softly tells me, “It’s okay. They’re gone,” while Dad steps over and gently strokes my hair.

I truly hate being so weak, but I haven’t the remotest idea of how to fix me.

Later on, Chinatsu tells me that Mom walked up behind Dad, narrowed her eyes, and acidly asked, “What happened?”

As Dad explained it to her, her expression became ever more furious. When she heard the boy in the bushes moan, she turned and began to take a step in his direction. Dad reached out, placed it on her shoulder, shook his head, and nodded in my direction.

Mom let out a long breath, knelt in front of me, pulled me away from Chinatsu, and held me tight while I buried my face against her neck and wrapped my arms around her, while Chinatsu leaned against my back and held me around the waist.

It’ll take a while for me to calm down, but this: Dad protecting us and being held by these two people who care so much for me as Dad stands guard over the three of us; it all makes me feel incomparably safe and warm.