Upside Down – Alternate Destiny

I go to the door, ask Sora and Chinatsu to enter, and gesture for them to take a seat. They sit in the chair next to the loveseat while I sit in my chair.

I find it interesting that Sora’s the elder sister here, considering how protective Chinatsu is of her. For instance, Chinatsu sat down in the chair, slid back, and Sora is now sitting between her legs while leaning back against her, with Chinatsu’s arms wrapped protectively around her. Sora was anxious and tense when I called them back in, but now she’s much more relaxed. It’s easy to see how much trust these two little girls place in each other. It’s not often you see this, and admittedly, these two would likely make a wonderful couple under other circumstances.

“Sora, you don’t remember our session, and I’m grateful you never asked about it. I’m going to explain everything now. It might be hard to hear this, so try to remain calm. You’ve met Mr. Akiyama before, and that’s why you are afraid of him…” Sora begins breathing hard, and tears form. “Sora, settle down, or I’ll put you in your safe place. I want to explain all of this to you before we do anything else.”

She’s struggling to maintain control, but I can see how strong-willed she is when Haruka begins to move toward her, and she looks at her and shakes her head no. It takes her a few minutes, but she slows her breathing and brushes away her tears.

“Better now, Sora?” She nods at me. “Good. So, to continue, you’ve met him many times before, but you’re afraid of him because he hurt you when you were very young, and he threatened you and your parents. It frightened you badly enough that your mind repressed the memory of it. Even though you didn’t consciously recognize him, your subconscious did, and that’s why you reacted that way.”

I stop to allow her to absorb what I’ve said so far.

“I… I’ve met him?” she asks, and I nod in reply. “And he hurt me?” I merely nod again. She begins to say, “Wh…,” shakes her head, and murmurs, “No, I don’t care why.” I patiently wait to see if she has anything else to ask.

When she doesn’t, I continue, “That incident was the beginning of this for you. All of your anxieties and fears stem from it.” I pause and let that sink in. “So, that said, I don’t believe that traditional therapy would help you. Not for a long time. Decades maybe, if ever.” I stop again to let her think. “That said, there’s a way to help you. I talked to your parents about it, and if you are willing, it would help immediately.”

I pause, watching her intently to see how she reacts. She merely nods a few moments later, and asks, “Okay, so how can you help me since traditional therapy won’t?”

“What I want to do is separate your memories. They’ll still be there, and you’ll still have access to all of them. They just won’t be able to affect you.”

Chinatsu shouts, “No! You can’t take Sora away from me!” She looks terrified as she holds Sora tightly.

Frankly, I’m amazed at what happens next.

“It’s okay, Chinatsu. She isn’t trying to take me away from you. I’m not going anywhere. I promised you, didn’t I? I’m pretty sure I get what she wants to do, so I’ll still be here, and I’ll still be me. I’ll simply be me without all of the fear and anxieties. I’ll still be the Sora who loves you more than anyone.”

She smiles at her and says, “With this, we’ll be able to go anywhere, at any time, without fear of me having a meltdown over nothing. I want that. I want us to go places without Mom and Dad having to stand guard, okay?”

Chinatsu nods in reply, then looks at me. “Is she right? Will she still be herself?”

“Yes. As Sora succinctly put it, she will be herself, only without the fears and anxieties to burden her… So, Sora, I gather you are okay with the plan?”

“Yes. To be frank, I would love to have even a single day without being anxious about every little thing. It seems like my best shot at living a somewhat normal life, so I’m all for it.”

“Alright. If everyone else would move back to the waiting room, Sora and I can get started.”

“Okay. You two, come on, let’s go,” Haruka says while standing up.

Sora stands up and helps Chinatsu get up. Slipping her arms around Chinatsu’s waist and pulling her against herself, she begins to talk to her. “Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. It’s a good thing. Trust me, alright? I’d never allow someone to separate us. It shouldn’t take too long, and then we can go home. I don’t know about you, but I want to cuddle and nap with my favorite person.”

Chinatsu whispers back something I can’t hear.

“Good. Hey, don’t worry. I love you. I’ll see you soon, promise.” Sora wipes away Chinatsu’s tears. Chinatsu nods and squeezes her tightly for a few moments longer. Letting go of Sora, she walks out the door.

After the three of them leave, Sora takes a seat on the loveseat. I ask, “I’m going to ask again: are you sure about this?”

“I’m absolutely, positively, 100% sure. It isn’t much different from what I’ve been trying, poorly, to do myself. I decided that it’d be best to leave behind the male part of me. Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t live as who I was. You’re just going to do it much faster and more cleanly than I ever could. I even know that ‘he’ will still be a part of me.” She leans forward with a determined expression and states, “I’m a girl, and I have to be able to live as one. No matter what I want, I’ll never be able to move on with my life with all of my anxieties and fears holding me hostage.”

Never in my life would I have imagined that a thirteen-year-old could be this insightful. Not to mention just how bright and strong-willed she is. Right here is how she managed to eke her way through her life with just Chinatsu’s support. Once this is resolved, she may very well become a force to be reckoned with.

“Alright, why don’t you lean back, relax, and get comfortable? Ready?”

“Oh. Just so I don’t forget, thank you,” she tells me with a smile, then leans back and closes her eyes.

I tell her, “Sora, Camarilla,” and she immediately relaxes.

I’ve never done this before on my own, so I’m a little nervous, but I’ve sat in on it numerous times while other psychologists have performed this procedure. Over the years, it’s been refined, so in essence, it’s easy to do. The key is keeping it simple and straight to the point. Give them simple directions to follow. The more complex you make it, the higher the chance it has of failing. Send them in the general direction you need them to go, and their minds will fill in the details in most circumstances.

“Sora, I want you to make two halves. On the right side is the female you, and on the left side is the male you. Do you understand?”

“Yes.”

“I want you to take all the bad, painful memories and feelings and move all of them to the left side. Those will belong to the male you. Once you have done that, I want you to take all the good, happy emotions and memories and move them to the right side. Those will belong to the female you. Your female side will be your dominant side. The male side will be completely dormant from this moment on. Do you understand?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Again, these two halves will remain separate from this moment on. You will have access to all of the memories from the left side, but beyond being able to recall the events and realizing that they are your memories, they will not be able to affect you in any manner. Do you understand?”

“Yes.”

“Sora, You will fully accept that you are a girl now, both consciously and unconsciously. You will believe that you have always been a girl, and nothing will be able to convince you otherwise. The only exception to this will be when I am with you and I, and I alone, tell you these two keywords: ‘Opulent, Missive.’ I want you to repeat those two words back to me. Do you understand?”

“Yes. Opulent, Missive.”

“Sora, you will act completely and naturally as if you have always been a girl. You will feel comfortable with yourself and your body. Do you understand?”

“Yes.”

“Sora, you will no longer be nervous, shy, afraid, or timid unless there is a good reason for you to be. Do you understand?”

“Yes.”

“Sora, do you have any problem with following the instructions I have given you?”

“No.”

“You will not remember anything from this session that would contradict your belief that you have always been a girl. Any memories from when you were male will be shifted to a female perspective, even if you have to change the details slightly. I’ll count down from 3 to 1, and when I reach 1, you will wake up. 3… 2… 1.”

Sora opens her eyes and looks at me.

“How do you feel, Sora?”

“Fine, other than being a little hungry, that is.”

“Then how about we get you out of here so that you can go eat?”

“Sounds great to me.”

“Quick question. How long have you been a girl?”

She looks at me quizzically and says, “That’s a silly question. I’ve always been a girl, you know that.” She gestures to herself from top to bottom and states, “I just never looked like this until recently.”

“Sorry, I know that was an odd question. Are you nervous, anxious, or scared?”

“No, I’m a bit confused by your questions, but I’m good. Does that mean that whatever you did helped?”

“It seems so. We’ll have to see just how effective it is in the long run, but there shouldn’t be any issues.”

I stand, walk to my desk to pick up a business card, then write my cell number on the back. Returning, I hand my card to Sora, then kneel in front of her and look into her eyes. “That has my cell phone number on the back if you need to talk about something. Heck, even if you just want to chat, call me. I don’t mind. Remember, I’m here for you, whatever the time.”

“Thank you. I appreciate it, and I’ll remember.”

I nod, stand up, and move to the side.

Sora stands and smoothes her skirt as if it were something she had been doing her whole life.

“Why don’t we go meet your family? You can stay with Chinatsu while I speak to your parents.”

Sora nods and leads the way out into the waiting room. Chinatsu stands up with a concerned expression, and Sora immediately crosses the room to her. Taking Chinatsu into her arms, she tells her, “See, I’m just fine. I told you that it wouldn’t take too long.”

Turning to look at Eiji and Haruka, I gesture for them to come in.

After they enter, I close the door, walk to my seat, and sit down.

“Final items for today. First, I will give you a copy of this last session with Sora so that you’ll know exactly what she was told. Second, I gave Sora my business card with my cell number on it. I told her to call me at any time if she needs me. Third, I would like to see her back here on Monday at 10:00 so that I can see how she’s doing. Fourth, the police. I will call them as we discussed and give them a copy of the first session. They will probably want to interview her, but I should probably be there when they do since I’ve suppressed her knowledge that she was ever a boy. I doubt it will happen, but if she can’t talk about it because of that, I will need to release her from the restriction temporarily.”

Eiji asks, “Why did you suppress her knowledge that she was ever a boy?”

“Simply because knowing that would do nothing more than hinder the redevelopment of her identity after all of this. This will also forestall any possible future disparity. Her mind will change all of the events in her memory to fit the fact that she now believes that she has always been a girl. It’s going to be slightly disconcerting for you three whenever she relates something you know about and changes some aspects of it to fit her belief that she was a girl. Try your best to play along with her in that respect. I doubt the changes will be all that big. Usually, for something like this, the changes are fairly minor.”

“Alright, I will have a talk with Chinatsu about this. Thank you. We appreciate you helping Sora. If the police want to talk to Sora, just have them call me, and we can set up a time,” Eiji tells me.

“Yes, thank you very much,” Haruka says.

Smiling, they get up to head back out to the waiting room, where their daughters are. I follow them to the door and close it behind them. Sitting down on the loveseat, I release the tight hold I’ve kept on my emotions and finally allow myself to cry.