Life Is Tough

February 27

Yesterday, the inspector called my mother worried. It seems that a strange monster had attacked him in his own home again. But instead of a normal man, this time it was a weird demon, easily recognizable as the same one that had attacked me in the Ueno Dam tunnels. My mother somehow managed to distract it by saying something to the effect that it was probably the work of the I.S.C., and perhaps part of the same experiment from which I emerged. Aside from that, the attack on the inspector and the theft of documents are evidence that this demon clearly has an agenda that we know nothing about except that it hates me. So, as I promised Stella, we started keeping an eye on the journalist Nozomi Yasuda, who seemed to be part of this plan.

This brings us to today, where Tamamo and I are sitting on a bench in the park, drinking a soda and resting. On the other side of the park is a fast-food restaurant, where the journalist is now writing on her laptop while eating. But soon a man arrived and sat down to talk to her. He seemed nervous, as if he was being followed by shadows moving in plain sight.

"The man who has just arrived to speak is Fuji Igarashi."
"He is part of the research team at Biolife Laboratories in Kitamoto, within Saitama Prefecture."
"The company specializes in the research, development and production of genetically modified crops and livestock."
"Biolife Laboratories has been collaborating with the I.S.C. for years, trying to create a stronger and more effective variant of penicillin, as well as working to lower its production costs."
"According to the records, all their attempts have been unsuccessful; however, the I.S.C. has not withdrawn from the agreement despite the losses. "
"On the contrary, they have invested even more to rebuild and renovate their main laboratory and clinic," Kazumi said in a phone call.

"Alright, thanks for the information," I thanked my daughter for her terrifying ability to get information.
"Ummm, I think I see the man exchanging some papers with Nazumi, he even gives her a USB drive."
"Kazumi, do you think you can investigate what he gave her?"

"I'm sorry, but Miss Nozomi is someone with a remarkable level of expertise in cybersecurity."
"She seems to handle her research information with considerable privacy and efficiency."
"The computer she uses was purchased used, and there are no purchase records. It's also not connected to any network."
"I have no way of knowing what's on the computer's hard drive without a physical connection to the machine."
"It's my fault. I'm very sorry I can't be more effective, even though I was designed for this kind of operation."

"Oh, okay, that's fine, don't worry."
"I don't doubt your ability; it's okay."
"You're already quite useful at what you're doing. In fact, it's a testament to the journalist's skill that someone like you can't get anything out of her."
"Sometimes we can't have everything we want."
"Besides, even if you were incapable of anything, it's not like I'd throw you and your sister away for not being effective."
"Relax, that's not how a family works."

"......."
"Thank you, Dad."

That was what Kazumi said before ending the call, but even though our conversation was over, there was still one word echoing loudly in my head - the word " Dad". Even now, I still couldn't see myself as one. But she was right; I wasn't the only person I had to take care of now. I had many more responsibilities, and yet here I was, relying on my daughters' work. As if, even if all this ended, I still had nothing to live for, as if, after so many years, I still depended on my mother to survive as a burden. How far away was the day when I could finally walk on my own two feet and stop bothering others? When would I stop being the villain in their stories? When would I start doing the right thing?

"Goshujin-sama? Are you thinking of something sad again?" Tamamo said, leaning her face close to mine and looking into my eyes.

"????"
"What?"
"What are you talking about?"

"You're making that sad face again, that heavy sad face."
"The same one you made when you talked about Luna or Nanami"
"Is something new weighing on your heart?"

"It's nothing.
"Don't worry, it's no big deal."
"It's not like I'm going to go crazy over something like that."

"Goshujin-sama, I've told you many times, and I'll repeat it as many times as necessary."
"You can trust me with anything and everything; I will never laugh at what my beloved might think is silly or trivial."
"I will help you overcome them with all my skill and heart," Tamamo said with passion and affection shining in her eyes.

"Ah..."
"Alright, you win."
"I was just thinking about what will become of me when this is all over."

"When it all ends?"

"If that's what you mean, I'm not talking about the here and now, I'm talking about what comes later."
"When all this demon and I.S.C. stuff is over, when this boring cat-and-mouse game is over.
"What will I do next? What will be the next step?"

"What are you talking about?"
"Are you afraid that something bad is going to happen?"
"That there won't be any more battles after this one?"

"No, it's not exactly that."
"I meant what comes after, what I would spend the rest of my life doing."
"When I finally return to a normal life, when I finally stop doing all these pointless things just to survive from day to day."
"You know, more or less, a hero should live on after his adventure is over, and people close the book after all."

"Pointless?" Tamamo asked. I wasn't sure if she was really doubtful or just showing her kitsune mischief.

"I just don't know what to do to live beyond the current mess."
"......."
"You know, I wasn't always like this. I know it sounds surprising, but I was even more of a moron when I was younger."
"Years ago, when I was young and innocent and an idiot, my dream was to be a race car driver."
"I know it sounds like a fantasy story, but when I was a kid, that really was my idea of what my life would be like."
"When I thought life would be easy with my plan, with my idea."
"Then, when school started and reality set in, when I saw that being born into a poor family wouldn't let me live my dream, I had no choice but to change my plans."
"I thought about taking the typical path that everyone else does: going to a good university, finding a quiet but honest office job, meeting the perfect girl by chance and marrying her, having my own house where my parents would visit me with smiles on their faces."
"Seeing their faces when I gave them what they wanted so much for Christmas."
"......"
"......"
"But after the sacrifices of paying for university, and then the brutal reality of finding a job in what I had studied so hard for in my own country, when I realized that I had chosen the wrong path by following what I thought I was good at instead of something that would make money."
"....."
"Then my sister Maria's illness came and crushed everyone equally: my parents, my siblings, my expectations of a life I wanted, or that someone would help me get out of this."
"The need for money increased exponentially, and I had no choice but to resign myself to the idea of a dignified life. Now it was just a matter of getting money from wherever I could, so I started working at whatever came my way."
"Fast food cashier, clothing store cashier, shoe salesman, soccer field masseur, janitor at my own school, police recruit."
"Watching my brother become a hero where I had failed.
"All I thought about was surviving the day, giving the rest of the money to my parents..."
"And praying that someday I would find something better and put my life back together..."
"The cruelest and saddest moments were meeting my former school and college friends, seeing how they had succeeded where I had failed miserably, their success stories and joys".
"Hearing them find love and get married one by one, while I could only watch from afar and pretend it didn't bother me inside."
"I couldn't stop thinking about when it would finally be my turn to 'live,' when I could do something for myself without making a fool of myself."
"One day, with what seemed like a miraculous stroke of luck, a bad one, I won a lottery for a tourist trip to Russia, and that's when all these crazy things started happening."
"But the worst part was seeing my brother Leon on his direct path to success, how he, unlike his stupid older brother, managed to achieve everything he set out to do and much more."
"How he managed to make the most of his youth, his eagerness, his luck, his effort."
"How his desire to be a programmer worked out for the best, how he even got a scholarship to go to the United States to study with the best, how he even got a good job before he finished his studies at the university."
"How he's working for Lion Saber in an important position, how he met his wife, how they already have a daughter."
"While I was sleeping in a coffin."
"My brother Leon even sends money to my grandmother, my mother, and even to Maria."
"And what do I do in the meantime?
"I sit on a bench in the park with a soda and the money my mother gave me, because I have nothing.
"Although I don't like to admit it, the reality is undeniable, now I live in my mother's house, without a job, without money, without a purpose, without a plan.
"To make my poor mother pay for the food I receive, for the clothes I wear."
"Having to rely on her to help me carry the weight of maintaining a family that came out of nowhere."
"And in the meantime, what do I do? Pretend to be young and go back to school."
"How can I be a responsible person if I can't even manage my life so as not to be a burden to others?
"What can I even try to improve? I have no idea."
"My body doesn't age, no matter how much time passes.
"I can't go to school forever, paying for college is out of the question, and the chances of getting a real job are nil."
"Who would hire a tomboy girl who is only one meter and a half tall?"
"The only thing I can do is serve as an example of what not to do, so Maria doesn't end up like her idiot older brother."
"......."
"How can I have the right to be called a father with a life like this?"
"Kazimiy and Charlotte deserve better, you deserve better."
"My family doesn't deserve the burden of being with me."

Tamamo, in her place, opened her eyes even wider and hugged me. She said nothing for a few minutes until she broke the silence with a few words.

"Everything will be alright. In the future there will be better days, where the sun will be warm, the days will be long, and the smiles will be many.
"A day when you can rest at night without fear, when people will call your name with joy."
"....."
"That day will come eventually."
"....."
"Just don't give up... Just keep going one more day."
"That way that day will come."
"....."
"I will be here every step of the way, and I will laugh with you after that."
"And we will talk about the bad days and remember them with joy instead of sadness."
"....."
"And one day, maybe you can make that innocent dream come true."
"....."
"On that day, we will laugh and celebrate."
"....."
"Just hold on a little longer."
"....."
"The weight on your shoulders is heavy and crushing."
"The wounds and scars are many, marks of a warrior who kept moving forward, who did not give up."
"What's one more in an endless collection?"
"In the end, they show a man's true worth in the moments when life challenges him to prove who he really is inside."
"Do not be discouraged, there is always someone behind you."
"....."
"There is always a guardian angel watching over every life," said the girl next to me.

"......"
"Tamamo....."

"Mom, Dad, the journalist is leaving the restaurant"

"Okay thanks, it's your turn to rest now, change your position with Charlotte"

"We already changed a few moments ago, I am Charlotte."

"Sorry, I confused you"
"It's because you two have the same voice"
"I can't tell who is who "

"No worry dad, we are aware of it"
"One day we changed clothes with my sister and you did not notice"

"Wait what, when did that happen?"
"Why did you do it?"

"It was yesterday, and it was mom's idea after seeing a movie about twins"

"Why?"

"Well, maybe it could be useful to do something similar to kill the villains!" Tamamo answered happily 
"We have to practice new movements and tactics!"
"The original power of Barry Allen's Flash was fast running but even so he always finds new ways to use his power"

"Barry Allen with his powers is almost his own worst enemy!"

"But let's save that for another time, this time I'm going to be walking a block away"
"Tamamo you change shape and follow her closely, if something happens notify immediately"
"And please be sure to wear that gold pin in your hair or near the neck on your clothes so you can know that it's you and not someone else."
"I don't want to have to go back to a police station waiting for my mother because I started talking to that weird fat man thinking it was you in the park."
"I'm still afraid to think about what he might be able to do"
"I hope that he is in prison"

The man ran as fast as his feet would allow him, but no matter how hard he tried, the monster would not stop chasing him, with its diabolical smile, a demon that enjoyed the hunt. He turned left into an alley, because he knew the place well, he passed it almost every day on his way to work at Brandon Special Lab. He thought about making a series of quick turns to lose sight of his pursuer, even throwing things on the ground to slow her down. When there was little left to get out of the alley and onto the main street, the man felt a huge sting in one of his legs, then he felt as if they had poured hot water on the same spot. He turned to see what had happened, only to find a large metal needle embedded in the top of his left leg. Knowing the seriousness of the problem, the man decided to walk with all his might to get to the main road to ask for help, but then the process was repeated again, now he had one on the other leg, and this time he came down with as much force as the needle. it was embedded in the earth, making it impossible to escape.

"What do you want?"
"You are already late, the information is in another place far away from you!"
"Neither all your stupid money nor agents could prevent the truth from seeing the light!"
"What you are doing is useless!"
"Anyway, you are next on his list if you are not useful to him"
"I have won."

"I think you're confusing things"
"I don't work for the I.S.C."
"Don't you think they would kill to know how I got these?" The girl said as she opened her monstrous claws, which she had instead of hands, and pulled another of her metal stakes out of nowhere".
"I thank you for the information you gave away, but since it was for money, it has no real weight".
"The women you killed in the name of profit and reputation are still dead."
"The girl with her mother, the one who ran away from her abusive home."
"The one you took advantage of her weakness to satisfy your lust."
"The same old problems over and over again."
"Trash like you belongs nailed to the wall as an example."
"Go and see how you apologize to them after you're dead."
"They will rejoice in you to see how their suffering was light and quick compared to the punishment that will await you for eternity."

"AAAAHHH!" the man shouted in pain as he lost the mobility of his arm due to the brutal attack that the demon girl launched.

But it was more horrible to see the girl's happy face as she watched him writhing in pain, as if she enjoyed it like a child playing to see the blood flow from the wounds. The worst thing that happened was that no one found the man until the next day, nailed to a wall in the alley with several stakes piercing his body. The police could not believe the crime that had taken place, because after the investigation it was revealed that with the injuries the man had suffered, he must have been alive for several hours in pain before he died, hours of pure agony trying to call for help that never came. And all this just a few days after the woman who died in a park in an equally violent manner. But Inspector Yamamo ruled out the possibility of the same suspect committing both murders, because the methods were very different, and because he saw the metal stakes that were the same as the ones he had in his house when the demon attacked him.