Vaudevillain

“So, my friends, which tale of the hero Davini would you hear first? Perhaps his grand defense of Aeterna, where he crafted mobile cannons? Or his grand flying machine built to chase the clouds up high?” Lorenzo the tour guide asked.

“Isn’t a mobile a phone?” Dylan asked as he got back into Approximo’s character.

“It can also describe something capable of moving,” Jack said, joining Dylan in returning to character.

“Dudes, we should find the best place for a concert,” Firestarter said.

“We’re already planning to play at the chapel, dude,” Of a Kind answered.

Firestarter nodded. “Oh, right right.”

“I for one believe we should meet this Animatronic,” Mirror Mirror said.

Lorenzo bowed. “Apologies, madam, but Animatronic is currently out of the city facing a grave threat.”

“Then I vote for the flying machine,” Mirror Mirror said.

“We should at least check the chapel out first,” Of a Kind said. “To get a sense of acoustics and everything.”

Mirror Mirror sniffed. “Fine. We can always visit the flying machines later.”

“You do not wish to hear the tales of the great Davini?” Lorenzo asked.

“I would love to hear the tales,” Approximo answered. “Perhaps you could talk as we walk?”

“Stories I can tell,” Lorenzo answered. “But to truly experience the grand nature of our greatest hero, you must really visit his landmarks.”

“We’ll get to it,” Gameset said. “Work before play and all that.”

“A prudent saying,” Approximo answered. He grabbed Lorenzo by the shoulder and handed him some money. “Come friend, tell us all about this hero Davini!”

“Oh, well, if you insist,” Lorenzo answered, his eyes staring at the cash in his hands.

Of a Kind rolled his eyes. “Sheesh, and I thought I was greedy.”

Firestarter nudged him. “Nah, dude, you’re frugal. Big difference.”

They started to walk, Lorenzo talking up a storm as they followed their map to the chapel. They passed colorful crowds engrossed in the festivals and animated contraptions built to impress. Gameset had to pull Approximo away more than once as Dylan directed his character into the excitement.

“They are selling dreams, Gameset. I must see how they do this,” Approximo said.

“You can indulge later,” Gameset said.

Chastened, Approximo moved away from the whimsical salesman and back to his friends. A hand brushed across his pocket. He turned to see a child walking past, a bright sun mask sitting on his head.

“This must be a wonderfully safe area if children can walk about,” Approximo said.

“What’s that?” Gameset asked.

“There was a child that just passed by,” Approximo explained. “The heroes must do a great job protecting if they can walk around without supervision.”

Lorenzo stopped. “Friend, perhaps you should check your wallet.”

Approximo pulled the item out of his inventory, using his power of shapeshifting to make it seem like he pulled it out of his person. “I see nothing wrong with my wallet.”

“Ha! Nice one, dude,” Firestarter said.

“I don’t understand,” Approximo replied.

“They tried to rob you, I think,” Gameset said. She looked to Lorenzo.

The tour guide nodded. “Indeed. The child is likely part of the many gangs that plague our lower cities. The villains delve deep there, crafting their nefarious contraptions to capture and dismantle our fair hero Animatronic.”

“How abhorrent,” Mirror Mirror said.

“And no one protects the kids?” Gameset asked.

“They do not wish for protection,” Lorenzo said sadly.

Gameset looked at the man suspiciously but said nothing.

“On to lighter things!” Lorenzo exclaimed with a clap. “We are almost at your destination. All that is left is to cross the Great Bridge!”

Lorenzo gestured over to the structure in the distance. A wide, ornate suspension bridge hung over a churning river. Portions of the bridge allowed for both vehicular and pedestrian travel, with a stop in the center housing a large building.

The building seemed to use the entire central pillar, giving Dylan the impression of a lighthouse. Stained glass windows and carved statues dotted the walls, each one telling a story. A wide umbrella roof topped the building, painted in the various carnival colors to attract attention to the statue on top.

“Davini’s masterpiece,” Lorenzo said with a dreamy sigh. “Far grander than that Michelango’s chapel in my opinion. But alas, not all share my sentiments.”

“It is certainly a striking structure,” Approximo said. “What story do the windows tell?”

“Oh! Each is a grand retelling of one of Davini’s journeys,” Lorenzo answered happily.

“Neat,” Of a Kind said.

“Just neat?” Mirror Mirror asked.

“What, you want more words or something?” Of a Kind asked. “Neat fits it perfectly.”

“Come on,” Gameset said. “We’ll check it out after the chapel.”

Approximo followed his friend as they moved onto the bridge. Slowly, the crowds of colorful citizens thinned and a more everyday NPC took its place. Men and women walked in suits, walking with headsets and coffees.

“Okay, this seems out of place, right?” Of a Kind asked as they walked. “This place doesn’t strike me as a downtown area.”

Lorenzo didn’t seem to notice anything wrong, however, and kept moving along. The rest of the group slowed, wondering why the NPCs had changed so dramatically.

“You think its another bug from Vert?” Jack asked.

“Gotta be, right?” Oro said.

“Dudes, what if its a supervillain,” Riptide said.

Sweet Dream snorted. “What, like someone decided to play as a CEO and won’t stop until they busnissfy the world?”

A voice crackled to life over a loudspeaker, loud and filled with authority. “Hello new employees, my name is CEOverlord and I am commencing a hostile takeover of Aeterna. Please, do not be alarmed. Safety, specifically that of my employees, is our number one priority. As such, I have introduced a new safety initiative I like to call complete compliance. C.C. for short. This initiative will ensure the protection of my employees as long as you pledge your undying loyalty to the company. And anyone who resists will be reprimanded and sent to HR for remedial training. Thank you.”

Riptide looked at his girlfriend in awe. “My girlfriend’s psychic.”

She shoved him.

“Um, guys?” Gameset looked around. The suited NPCs were all looking their direction. “Not to interrupt your flirting, but I think we might have a problem.”

“This does not look good,” Approximo said as the NPCs marched toward them.

They no longer held cups of coffee in their hands but various office supplies sharpened into deadly weapons. Rulers dragged across the ground, their sharpened edges cutting into the bridge floor. Others held racks of pencils connected to something that looked suspiciously like a gun.

“I think we should retreat,” Of a Kind said.

“But we are heroes,” Approximo argued. “We must save the day.”

“Let’s compromise by saving the people around us,” Gameset said. She turned to Lorenzo. “We need a safe space for people to hide. Do you know a place?”

Lorenzo nodded, fear on his face. “There is a safe room in Davini’s tower. We’ll be safe there.”

“Good,” Gameset said. “Of a Kind, start copying. Mirror Mirror, shift into Approximo. Approximo, you’re going to clear a path. Firestarter will make sure these minions don’t come close and I’ll gather up everyone nearby.”

“Got it,” the group answered.

Approximo scanned the area, cataloging the various pillars, supports, cars, and other items. As Mirror Mirror copied him, the hero transformed his lower torso into one of the larger flatbed trucks and his arms into two wide pillars. Of a Kind instantly started copying grenades and other items to keep the tide of minions at bay.

“Dudes, this is like some wack zombie film,” Firestarter said with a laugh. He conjured balls of fire in his hands, juggling them as best he could. More than one fell to the ground, where it sputtered out.

Gameset moved back, calling to the NPCs to direct them to Davini’s Tower. Approximo started to push forward, using his pillar arms to clear a path. The various minions fell back in droves, though a few with the ruler swords tried to cut into the hero’s pillars. It only made minor scratches, not even denting Approximo’s health thanks to his new costume.

Mirror Mirror followed behind, keeping the path clear as they made a path to the building.

“Dude, I need fuel,” Firestarter said to Of a Kind.

The gangster hero nodded and pulled a bottle of kerosene out from one of his many pockets. Several duplications later saw Firestarter pouring the liquid in two lines behind Approximo. He tossed a fireball once it seemed like there was enough. A wall of flame roared up, blocking the minions from getting close.

“Heh, call me Moses cuz I’m parting the red sea, dudes,” Firestarter joked.

“That was terrible,” Of a Kind said.

“Nah, you’re just jealous that I thought of it,” Firestarter bantered.

Civilians in colored festival garb filed in behind the heroes as Gameset continued to direct them. They rushed at the building, pressing in and shoving both Firestarter and Of a Kind.

“Watch it, dudes,” Firestarter said.

The movement was slow going as the minions started to ball up against Approximo in an attempt to push him back. The hero tried to swipe at them with his pillar arms, but he was unable to reach without drastically changing his course.

“I need some help here!” he shouted.

“Of a Kind, crowd control!” Gameset shouted.

The hero was more than happy to oblige, tossing grenades into the crowd of minions in front. Approximo saw scores of them fall, knocked aside by the blasts. A moment later, they stood up, somehow completely unharmed.

“It’s not working!” Approximo shouted.

“Sh*t!” Gameset cursed. “I’m coming! Try to knock them off the bridge!”

“I’ll have to shift. Prepare for combat!” Approximo shouted.