Vaudevillain

“Aha! Running away I see!” Dr. Zlo shouted as M’emph’is Flash shot past. “I knew you couldn’t hold a candle to my genius!”

The hero stopped at the doors of the Aged Suede building and strummed a chord. Knocked over mannequins, discarded clothing, and smashed shelves picked themselves up, dusted themselves off, and marched back to their respective areas, much to the chagrin of the Jacques. The faceless minions turned as one, shaking fists and throwing trash at the hero.

“Tough crowd tonight,” M’emph’is Flash said. “Well, no need to worry. I know just the song for rough housing.”

The hero picked at his guitar and gyrated his hips. The guitar continued playing as he moved to slap the side, crafting a toe-tapping tune that had the front row of Jacques pause. M’emph’is Flash gave the front row a wink, his charming looks instantly captivating the minions.

The Jacques started to clap along as the hero sang, prompting the ones behind to demand answers. Pantomimes traveled across the crowd along with the music, convincing Jacques to abandon their destructive shopping and listen to the hero in front of them.

Of course, not all Jacques halted in their quest. A few held delusions of grandeur, attempting to take entire shelves out of the store with them. When M’emph’is Flash blocked the opening with his impromptu concert, these Jacques pushed through their fellows and attempted to strike the hero.

A Jacques ran forward with a fist held high, only to trip as a shockwave from the guitar shook the ground. The Jacques found itself tripping and landing right on its fist, taking it out of the fight in mere moments. Other belligerent Jacques followed, each one coming toward the hero with a unique fighting style. Hopping kicks, spinning punches, and even an attempt to poke out the eyes did nothing. Each Jacques fell to the ground with the shockwave, and each time their moves worked against them to take them out of the fight.

M’emp’is Flash gyrated across the front of the store, exciting the Jacques in the crowd as he pulled the various NPCs taking cover out of danger. They thanked him profusely, their gratefulness mixing with their awe at his musical prowess.

“Aw now, it ain’t no thing,” the hero answered. “Get along now, y’all.”

The NPCs ran away, signed pictures of the hero appearing in their arms.

“Jacques!” Dr. Zlo shouted over the din of music. “Stop lollygagging and take this hero down!”

“Now Dr. Zlo, the concert ain’t over yet,” M’emph’is Flash said.

Dr. Zlo rocketed into the store, hovering over the hero with a domineering sneer. “I have it on good authority that this concert is finished!”

“Now whose authority would that be?” M’emph’is Flash asked.

“The only one that matters!” Dr. Zlo shouted. “Mine!”

He flourished his cane, casting a wave of fire across the store. M’emph’is Flash strummed on his guitar.

“This here’s a little ditty I like to call, don’t,” the hero said.

The soundwaves launched out to meet the fire, wrapping around them like a blanket before smothering them. Dr. Zlo flailed in a tantrum before firing his laser and commanding his Jacques to continue their mission.

“Taste laser, alien!” Dr. Zlo shouted.

M’emph’is Flash swung himself out of the way of the blow with a hip thrust before retaliating with his special brand of music. Dr. Zlo spun, head over heels as a thrumming chord struck him directly in the chest.

“How dare a hero of your caliber attempt to mess with me!” Dr. Zlo shouted. He unhooked one of his button bombs and tossed it at the hero, then pulled two more out of his inventory and pitched them as fast as he could.

“Careful with those pyrotechnics,” M’emph’is Flash said with a hum. “You might hurt someone.”

He strummed his guitar, crafting three shockwaves that caught the bombs like baseballs. The sound wrapped around the explosion as it fired, creating three stars that moved to swirl around the hero. With another strum, he sent one of the explosions back at Dr. Zlo.

The villain made a rather unfitting “eep!” and ducked out of the way just in time to avoid the incoming attack. He felt the shockwave release behind him, tumbling him forward on his rocket boots into the waiting fist of M’emph’is Flash. In the small time Dr. Zlo had taken to dodge, the hero had dashed forward with his music.

Dylan saw his health bar deplete by a sizeable amount and felt the sting on the side of his chin. The blow sent the villain spinning, his rocket boots carving out an arcing helix as he flew out of the store. He landed next to Ms. Tama, who had been watching the whole show with eager eyes.

Dr. Zlo coughed and stood. “How dare he make me feel like clothes in a washing machine! I shall make him rue the day he ever thought he could best me! Dr. Zlo!”

“It was an impressive display,” Ms. Tama said. “Are you in need of assistance?”

She looked over to her monstrous creation, which had collected all the police cars and were using them as building blocks for a makeshift fort. It buzzed happily as it rested one car on another.

Dr. Zlo shook a hand. “No need. I have an inkling of how to fight this foe.”

The villain took back to the skies, hovering toward the clothing store with a scowl and a slow purpose. M’emph’is Flash moved out to meet him, guitar in hand. The Jacques behind had again given up on their clothing crime in favor of cheering on the hero’s concert.

“Thank you very much, sentients and sapients,” the hero said with a wave.

“You think you’ve already won, don’t you?” Dr. Zlo asked with a glower.

“Ain’t no harm in acknowledging your fans,” M’emph’is Flash said.

“But there is harm in this!” Dr. Zlo cackled. He fired a laser, fully ready for the hero to counter or dodge. A button bomb waited in his hand for the follow up. He tossed it as soon as the guitar strummed.

“Behold! I have determined your weakness! Your powers are linked to that guitar, and now you have two different attacks coming at you! Your mastery of music cannot possibly stop both!”

Dr. Zlo threw his head back in a laugh.

Of course, Dylan assumed that M’emph’is Flash would have a way to counter the incoming attack, but Dr. Zlo wouldn’t dream of such a thing. Instead, his mind went through various options and scenarios that he wanted to play out. In all honesty, he hadn’t expected a hero like this at all. Though he really should have.

Dr. Zlo liked to attract the campiest heroes. Probably because his crimes were all oddball events that only drew the weird to them.

Dylan’s main question was this, did he want Dr. Zlo to win this one? Or at least leave in a stalemate. Say he trashed the store, which made him unable to market his new clothing line. Sure, he might technically be losing but not in the way that mattered to the villain. Dr. Zlo would never allow himself to lose to an alien Elvis impersonator.

Yeah, that seemed like the best answer for this. Mostly because Dylan didn’t see a way to win. Dr. Zlo’s current arsenal wouldn’t be enough to stop someone who could control sound the way M’emph’is Flash could. Not unless Dr. Zlo had something that muted sounds on him.

Although, now that he thought about it, he did have something.

“Would that even work?” He asked under his breath.

He looked at M’emph’is Flash. The hero was concentrating on his guitar, his fingers skillfully playing two different sounds that each shot out to meet Dr. Zlo’s attacks. The laser found itself wrapped up in a tangle of sound, its light twisting around like a pretzel as the soundwave grappled with it. The bomb became a new star hovering over the hero’s head.

“Impossible!” Dr. Zlo shouted. He recoiled back, overreacting to the actions that happened in front of him.

M’emph’is Flash tipped his guitar. “Mighty kind of you to think so.”

“You dare to mock me!” Dr. Zlo shouted. He fired off more lasers in anger. Dylan opened his inventory out of the corner of his eye, looking for the invention that came to mind.

If nothing else, he absolutely had to try using it.

The hero caught the incoming lasers with his music, twisting the lasers together and slamming them to the ground. The Jacques cheered at the sight, enjoying the show. A new wave of sound flew toward Dr. Zlo, becoming a transparent hand intent on capturing the villain.

Dr. Zlo spun out of the way, dodging with finesse. Dylan smiled as he found the invention. Now all he had to do was find a way to bring it into the fight without it seeming strange.

It was a good thing that most of what Dr. Zlo did was strange, so it wouldn’t be too out of place for the villain if something slightly off-the-wall happened.