Vaudevillain

It was simple to finish up once all the Jacques were in the net. Especially when it was confirmed the minions were machines and not living people. Dylan had decided Approximo had a no killing rule, which suited everyone else just fine.

“I kind of like the added challenge,” Oro said out of character.

He and Jack were using their powers to finish the Jacques off while they couldn’t move. Riptide had wanted to help, but his power would have burned Approximo.

“So how are we going to track this Dr. Zlo?” Gameset asked once they finished off the last Jacques.

“Just follow the laughter, dudes,” Firestarter said.

The distant sound of a cackling Dr. Zlo echoed from the streets. That wasn’t the only sound, however. Clattering feet loomed closer, rounding the corner as the heroes were discussing.

“Halt!” the leader said in a deep voice.

The new character was a knight, there was no doubt about that. The person was covered head to toe in metal armor painted in a brilliant floral blue pattern. Those next to him spread out, stopping Approximo and his friends from going any further.

“Hello!” Approximo said. “We just finished rounding up some robots. That Dr. Zlo character sent them as a welcome. It was not a good one.”

The knight removed their helmet, revealing a man with stern features and eyes as narrow as the visor on his helmet. “Heroes,” he spat. “Here to grace us with your glorious presence?”

“Dude, we were here for a gig,” Firestarter said. “The Dr. Zlo guy started it. He’s going around shrinking everything.”

The hero pointed to various empty spaces where houses used to stand. More of the knights spread out, moving to each place.

“Seems like they’re telling the truth, captain,” one of the knights said.

The knight frowned. “We’re a step behind him again.”

“Would you like help?” Approximo offered.

“From a hero?” the knight scoffed. “And have you damage more of our historical city? No, I know how these things play out. You and that villain will fight, breaking the city apart in the process. We’ve had to artfully restore the Gustaf Tower sixteen times this month alone!”

“Look, sir,” Of a Kind interrupted. “I don’t mean to be rude, but maybe you should be chasing this Dr. Zlo instead of complainin’ to us, yeah?”

“He’s right, Captain,” one of the knights said. “If we don’t catch this Dr. Zlo soon, he might steal all of our treasured buildings.”

“Then come on, men!” the captain shouted. “We ride to war!”

The knights charged off, leaving the heroes alone.

“Well, that was a joke,” Of a Kind said.

“Real quick,” Dylan said. “I’m loving the gangster accent.”

“Thanks,” Oro answered. “Figured it was a fitting voice.”

“We’re still no closer to finding Dr. Zlo,” Gameset said.

“No worries, Ref,” Firestarter said. “You heard the knight. Dr. Zlo’s going after the treasured buildings.”

“Indeed,” Mirror Mirror said. “It should be a simple conjecture. The Gustaf Tower is a famous building. Dr. Zlo is bound to go to it.”

“Then we shall become trees and leave,” Approximo said.

“Yeah, what he said,” Of a Kind answered.

The group arrived at Gustaf tower with little fanfare. It seemed Dr. Zlo hadn't quite gotten to the tourist attraction yet. NPCs roamed the streets, some as touring citizens, some as knights, and some as everyday workers. The tower itself stood over them, four sturdy metal pillars that conjoined at the top.

"It looks shorter than I expected," Gameset said.

"Dudes, maybe Dr. Zlo already got here and only took the top," Firestarter replied.

"What a ridiculous notion," Mirror Mirror answered.

Dylan left his friends to their conversation, marveling at the architectural marvel in front of him. He'd seen pictures and read descriptions of the historic building in the real world, but this recreation blew them out of the water. It actually felt like he was there, standing underneath one of France's greatest monuments.

"I need to see if they have a CAD software for the VIS," Dylan whispered. Seeing creations in three dimensions would be incredible.

The more Dylan looked, the closer he moved to the structure, which in turn revealed more for Dylan to look at. And as he stared, something caught his eye. Inside the interior of the structure, through the jungle of metal and much further than a person could reach, lay a button. Surprised, Dylan leaned in closer to take a look.

Dylan couldn't find anythign strange, other than the fact that it was a button sitting in between layers of steel. There didn't seem to be any cords connecting the machine to anything inside the tower, and Dylan couldn't find an antennae to transmit a signal. Though, that wasn't an indicator of anything.

"How strange," the man said.

"What's that?" Gameset asked, walking up next to Dylan.

"There's a button in the center of the leg," Dylan said, switching back to his character.

"What?"

"Here, look." Approximo stepped back to let his companion peek inside.

"Well I'll be d*mned," Gameset said. "You think Dr. Zlo left it?"

Approximo gasped dramatically. "He is doing the bait and switch! The tower is bait he will switch with this button!"

"But how would he press it?" Gameset asked. She reached forward, her hand unable to get close. "I can't even get close."

"He does have a cane," Approximo said.

"Hm, hold on." Gameset opened her inventory and removed a long fencing rapier.

"I wasn't planning to use this," the heroine said. "Turns out I can't use a sharp rapier, my powers don't find it sporting I guess."

Approximo nodded sagely.

Gameset snorted. "Well, lets see if I can reach it now."

The heroine stabbed forward, only to find the blade guard catching on the metal. "D*mn it."

"I have a lightbulb," Approximo said. Gameset gave him a look, but Dylan was already moving. The man placed his hand inside the tower, then looked over at Gameset's rapier and shapeshifted his hand. His index finger elongated, transforming into the nearby weapon and striking the button inside.

"A lightbulb?" Gameset asked as Approximo removed his hand.

"Yes, I was told a lightbulb is an idea."

Gameset shook her head and opened her mouth, only for the ground to shake beneath her. She stumbled and Approximo reached out to keep her steady.

"Dudes!" Firestarter shouted. "Dr. Zlo's going to tunnel up from below!"

The team got ready, looking at the ground outside the tower for any emerging cracks, which is why they missed what actually happened nearby. The NPCs didn't however, and pointed to the base of the tower as a the concrete cracked open to reveal a sturdy metal cage. Inside the cage lay a glass coffin with a man, many of his parts replaced by machinery, with the parts that weren't desiccated.

The citizens screamed, which made Approximo and his friends turn around.

"Dude, what?!" Firestarter exclaimed.

"Is that a cyborg?" Of a Kind asked.

The cyborg in question opened his eyes, revealing one bright red mechanical iris, and punched open his coffin. The lid shattered around him as the man stood.

"Ah, back in the land of the living," he said.

Those words triggered movement in the NPC populace. They ran helter skelter across the plaza toward any alleyway or street they could see. And it was at that moment a voice spoke over the din.

"Hello reprobates of Lutetia! I understand that my reputation proceeds me, so I thank you for already screaming in panic!"

Dr. Zlo flew up over a building, shrink ray in hand and a menacing smile on his face. The citizens screamed again, turning from the villain and running to the tower, which triggered their panic at the zombie cyborg, which made them run from the tower, which triggered their panic at Dr. Zlo. By some quirk of programming, the computerized citizens could not link the two villains together, and they ended up dashing back and forth between the plaza.

"Umm…" Oro said, dropping his gangster accent. "I don't think that's supposed to happen."

Riptide laughed. "No, dude, probably not. But that's what happens when you play with us. We find the weird sh*t."

"Personally, I blame this guy," Sweet Dream said, pointing at Dylan.

"I take no responsibility in this at all," Dylan said.

"I dunno," Jack laughed. "You pressed the button."

"My button pressing has nothing to do with Vert's bugs," Dylan argued with a smile.

"Sure it doesn't." Jack said.

"Does he have bad luck with technology or something?" Oro asked.

"No," Jack laughed.

"Of course not," Dylan answered at the same time.

"Dylan just has a habit of… let's say, creatively utilizing the game engine in ways that weren't thought of," Jack said.

"No more than anyone else," Dylan said.

"Nah, dude," Riptide said. "You were the one who came up with the idea to pretend to be captured when we went to steal the alien ship."

"And you came up with the idea of using Mabel to control that janitor," Sweet Dream said. "Wasn't he like some super strength mutant?"

"That doesn't mean I'm some kind of bug attractor," Dylan said.

"Sure it isn't," Jack laughed.

"Face it, dude," Riptide said. "You have a habit of breaking the quests."

As if to emphasize the point, two groups of knights ran in shoulder to shoulder.

"You won't destroy our fair city, Dr. Zlo!" shouted one captain.

"Zombie-Robot Gustaf Eivval! I should have known," the second shouted.

Neither knight squad acknowledged the other as they broke away to face their respective foes. This caused a bit of a cacophony as metal armor clashed together, but that only added to the din of screaming citizens.

"See, dude," Riptide said. "You totally break quests."

"Fine, you win," Dylan said good-naturedly. "I break quests with my presence. Now, what do we do about it?"

"I'm surprised there aren't other heroes here, actually," Sweet Dream said. "You would think there were a lot of them around."

"Oh, they're all in the streets," Oro said. "I read that the suggested path is to chase Dr. Zlo while fighting his minions. The villain adds more and more as time goes on, upping their strength and difficulty. Apparently, they drop a bunch of the parts you need to make the mechanical pets."

"I totally forgot about the pets!" Sweet Dream cried. "D*mn it, Rip, why didn't you remind me?"

"I figured you'd grabbed some already," Riptide answered.

"I mean, I did, but that doesn't mean I don't want more!"

"Might need to put a pin in that argument," Jack said. "It looks like our villains are making a move."