Vaudevillain

“A city for Dr. Dobro sounds like a great idea,” Thomas said after everyone gathered together. “That way we don’t bother others and get called trolls by annoying people.”

“Prizes are a great idea as well,” Rampart said. “And I think I know a good way to make something good.”

The hero looked over to Dylan.

“Yeah?” Dylan asked.

“This is all kicking off because Dr. Zlo found this Dr. Dobro, right?” He asked.

“Yep,” Oro chimed in. “I’m the Nario to his Vario.”

“Meaning Dr. Zlo is going to be hunting the hero down, right?” Rampart asked.

“Oh, I see where you’re going with this,” Sweet Dream said.

“How about we measure how well people assist with either helping or stopping Dr. Zlo?” Rampart asked.

“It’s not bad but how do you quantify that?” Jack asked. “What constitutes as help?”

“She makes a good point,” Dylan said.

“Suck up,” Shizuka laughed.

Jack just rolled her eyes.

“Okay, maybe it needs a bit more work,” Rampart admitted.

“Wait, dudes, I got it,” Riptide said. Everyone turned to look at him, partially dreading what might come out of his mouth. The player’s ideas had no middle ground, being either great or terrible.

“What if Dr. Zlo and Dr. Dobro are like the second phase?” Riptide started. “Think about it dudes. We start out with Dr. Zlo sending villains after all of our ‘good’ counterparts. The heroes and villains that do the best get to be part of the second wave where Dr. Zlo assaults the city personally! And then, whoever does the best out of there gets the grand prize!”

“A crime with Dr. Zlo,” Thomas said.

“Or something with the hero or villain of their choice,” Rampart said. “Dr. Zlo is the most popular, but we’ve got some other personalities too.”

“You just want to be the one picked,” Shizuka teased.

“You’re pretty popular as well, you know,” Rampart said. “There are a ton of questions about the ‘crazy ninja lady’ whenever you show up.”

Shizuka popped over to Dr. Zlo and shook his shoulders. “Did you hear that, Zlotato? I’m popular!”

“Zlotato,” Riptide snickered.

Dylan rolled his eyes.

“Okay, I’m starting to get an idea of what we could do,” Jack said. She opened her inventory and pulled out a holographic whiteboard.

“Woah dude that’s awesome,” Riptide said.

“I’m thinking we could split both sides into attackers and defenders,” Jack started, writing the words on the whiteboard. “Attacking heroes try to break the morality machines while the attacking villains try and take something from our good alter egos. Defenders try to protect their objectives.”

“We could have people pick where they want to join, first come first served style,” Sweet Dream said. “Or pay more to reserve a spot instead of getting placed randomly.”

“Pay how?” Thomas asked.

“Phlebotinium, favors, whatever strikes your fancy,” Sweet Dream said.

“What if the heroes capture a morality machine and start turning villains good?” Dylan asked, the idea just now coming to mind.

“Ooh, I like that idea,” Shizuka said.

“You would,” Sweet Dream said dryly.

“Oh, don’t be like that bestie!” Shizuka said.

Sweet Dream groaned.

“Moving on,” Jack said. “Once half? Let’s say half for now. Once half of the machines are destroyed or alter egos converted, Dr. Zlo and Dr. Dobro come out to clash. Dr. Zlo is trying to get something equipped to his alter ego while the hero is trying to break the machine. Whoever helps the most on the winning side gets the grand prize. Though we still have to quantify help.”

“Damage dealt?” Rampart asked.

Jack shook her head. “What if the one who did the most has a support power like your shields?”

“Good point,” the hero said.

“What if we just put it to a vote?” Thomas asked. “Us, the finalists, and maybe a single popular vote if there’s a tie or something?”

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“That could be the best,” Jack said. “Though the finalists are just going to vote for themselves.”

“Then we could make it so heroes have to vote for villains and vice-versa,” Dylan said. “That way you can’t vote for yourself.”

Thomas nodded. “Yeah, let’s do that.”

“Dudes, this is going to be awesome,” Riptide laughed.

“Okay, anything else?” Thomas asked.

“We need to brainstorm the script for our trailer,” Sweet Dream said.

“I’ve got some ideas,” Dylan said. He sat down with his friends, finalizing the thoughts in his mind.

Time passed. Dylan and Jack continued working together, the former building his machines while Jack increased their durability. Oro would join occasionally, getting help in crafting the perfect foil to Dr. Zlo. Dylan’s other friends popped in and out, working on their own projects.

Once all the materials were ready, they started preparing the trailer.

“Alright,” Sweet Dream said. “Everyone ready for this?”

They stood in an empty warehouse on the upper side of Skyline, the area protected with a number of different measures to keep curious minds from spoiling what was coming. There had been a lot of chatter around Menagerie about all the crafting going into the event, which led to many spying attempts.

Shizuka sent them all packing.

Only the ones closely involved in the project were allowed in, which really just meant the bigwigs in Menagerie. Thomas stood by as Dextra next to Rampart, the two crossing the i’s and dotting the t’s. Riptide hovered next to his girlfriend, ready to ferry whatever she needed around as she directed. Jack went around double checking the props with Merla, making sure nothing would break down.

“Good to go,” Oro said.

“Ready as well,” Dylan answered.

Sweet Dream gave a thumbs up and took a step back. “Right, get in your places then!”

The hustle and bustle of the warehouse grew. The lights went down, leaving only the ones up for filming. Hatbots took to the sky, moving to specific positions to record what was coming.

It took a number of takes, more than Dylan expected. Sweet Dream was really going for perfection this time. By the end of it, he and Oro felt more drained than they ever had in game. But neither could deny the wide smiles on their faces.

“Oh man I can’t wait until everyone sees this,” Oro said.

“Me neither,” Dylan admitted.

___

Neither had to wait long. Sweet Dream and others instantly went into editing, cutting and merging everything until they got it exactly where they wanted it. Sounds were overlaid and effects added in post. Then, finally, it was done.

The video reached the top trending pages of Viewtube faster than any of Vert’s ever did, thousands upon thousands excited for what the zany villain would do next. Dylan was with everyone in a call when it released. They had decided to watch it all together. All the smalltalk and chatter died down as they posted, even Riptide and Shizuka stayed silent as the video started to play.

It started with footage of Dr. Zlo and the rest of his villainous entourage assaulting the moon base. Images of heroes and villains at war zipped past in quick displays of combat. Rayguns met laser beams, fists met faces, and swathes of groups went down as the fight went back and forth.

Then, Dr. Zlo was back on screen with his doomsday weapon.

“Surrender heroes, or face my wrath!”

Superiorman appeared, announcing his intent to protect the world. He zoomed past the fight, making a beeline toward the death ray as it charged. Video cut over to Dr. Zlo standing atop the beam.

“You’re too late, hero! Now face the power of my fully operational Death Ray!”

The screen glowed red, followed by an image of the moon exploding. Then, a pulse of something rippled from the moon, enveloping everyone. Dr. Zlo was thrown back by the blast, his invention turned into scrap.

The villain coughed, then stood, ready to declare his victory. Instead, he made a flabbergasted face.

“What?!”

In the distance sat a fully intact moon, as if it had never been destroyed at all.

“Impossible! A moon cannot stand against my genius!” The villain roared.

Skyline, bleeding air, was forced to fall back into the planet’s atmosphere, Dr. Zlo cursing all the while. As soon as they were safe, Dr. Zlo instantly prepared himself.

“Cass! We must ready an even greater invention! No moon is going to defy me!”

“Right away, boss!” Cass said dutifully.

The footage cut to the villain and his minion in a generic city. Dr. Zlo stomped past stores with televisions on display, newspaper stands, and other media. An astute observer would see strange sights on the televisions and newspapers. Listeners might hear something from the radios in the background.

“The heroes of Menagerie have saved the day again!” the faded noise said.

The televisions showed a smiling businessman, one with features similar to Dextra. Next to him stood a smiling surfer and a woman dressed in an inordinate amount of candy pink.

Cass frowned as he saw the images. “Um, boss?”

“I think the first step will be turning the all that rock into cheese,” Dr. Zlo muttered.

“Boss?” Cass spoke a bit louder as he saw a newspaper with something impossible on it.

“This time I won’t grant it an easy death, no,” Dr. Zlo continued. “Once it’s cheese I’ll have my mice take it apart piece by piece!”

“Boss!” Cass said in something of a panic.

“Cass! I am brooding!” Dr. Zlo answered. “What is it!”

“Look!” The minion pointed over to a newspaper.

Dr. Zlo walked over, confusion on his face evident as he picked up the paper. In large bold headlines were the words, DR. DOBRO SAVES ORPHANAGE FROM FIRE. Underneath was an image of Dr. Zlo smiling at the camera with a small army of surrounding children.

“What nonsense is this!” The villain shouted. “Someone is trying to ruin my bad name!”

Dr. Zlo leaned forward, squinting at the page. “Hold on! This isn’t me! I would never be caught dead with a mustache that thick!”

“Boss, what’s going on?” Cass asked worriedly.

The villain continued to stare at the page, the video focusing on certain words. Brands and fashions that were similar but not quite, dates that were slightly different. Understanding started to slowly cross Dr. Zlo’s face.

He threw his head back and laughed, a maniacal cackle that startled not only Cass, but passing pedestrians as well.

“Yes! Yes!” the villain boomed. “My genius is unlimited!”

“Boss, I don’t understand!”

“Don’t you see, Cass!” Dr. Zlo said, whirling. “My Death Ray worked!”

“But the moon—“ Cass started.

Dr. Zlo grabbed his minion by the shoulders. “It isn’t our moon, Cass! Don’t you see, the dates, the similar but different brands! And to top it all off, a good counterpart of me! When I destroyed the moon, the resulting shockwave and destruction of my Death Ray must have flung us across dimensions!”

Cass’s mouth fell open in shock. Before his could speak, Dr. Zlo pulled him to his side and gestured to the sky.

“Can you believe it, Cass? My genius has sent us to a whole new dimension! A whole new planet to conquer! Oh, the fun we shall have!” Dr. Zlo’s smile turned grinchlike.

“But boss, you’re a hero in this world,” Cass pointed out.

“Yes, well, I guess we’ll just have to do something about that, won’t we?” Dr. Zlo told his companion as the video faded to black.

An announcement appeared with a date and a link in the description, letting everyone know to sign up for Dr. Zlo’s crime of the century.

Dylan couldn’t stop the smile on his face.