ALL NOVEL Chapter 29: Tea Table
Rayne fiddled with her fingers as she sat waiting in her sitting room. Though her outward appearance to most would show she could be a rather patient person, internally she struggled with it. Normally she might have filled her time with doing something else. She could continue reading her book for instance. She could read over some letters, even write some, but right now she couldn’t bring herself to do any of it. There was anxiety filling her chest and she wasn’t used to that feeling, at least not to this level. For Rayne any anxiety she had came from the idea of something going wrong. Normally she could handle things going wrong, so much so that she often already had plans for how to deal with it beforehand. You had to be that way when dealing with such a large business. Crops could fail, winds could be unfair, storms could sink a ship, there was so much that could go wrong. Rayne always had a backup plan, but for Hannah she had nothing. If things went wrong with Hannah, Rayne didn’t know what to do.
The best she could do for the moment was hope that what Hannah had told her last night and earlier today was true. Hope that everything after their incident really was alright to Hannah. It was hard to hope because Rayne had no idea of how she might have reacted in Hannah’s position. There was still so much Rayne clearly didn’t know about beastkin culture and because of that she was unsure of what it truly meant to Hannah. It might be a common occurrence for beastkin, but what does it mean for those people moving forward? Does it stop the intimacy they had for fear of it happening again? Does it mean a deeper bond for the pair?
For a man and a woman Rayne could maybe see an incident like that being the start of something. It most certainly sounded like something one might find in a more risqué romance novel. It was doubtful that Rayne could find any Dewathian novel that contained such an encounter between beastkin let alone one and a human. A Treysian novel maybe? Zitean? Rayne also doubted she would be able to just go out and ask around for such a book. Maybe she could make some more private inquiries. Maybe romances between beastkin and humans were more common than she had been raised to believe.
If Everlial was as book centric as Hannah had led her to believe there had to be Everlian romance novels out there. Of course the empire wouldn’t allow that sort of thing but what if the books were mistaken as Elven? Since no one really knew Elven or Everlian here, Rayne could see someone trying to capitalize on that mistake and pass off Everlian as Elven. Even if that was the case the books would be extremely expensive, and the only person that would benefit either way would be Hannah. Would it make Hannah happy though? Maybe if they had such a book Hannah could use it to help teach Rayne either of the languages.
The idea of having Hannah help her with Treysian had come up before but she hadn’t thought about being taught Everlian. She wondered how happy that might make Hannah, to have someone to speak with her in her native tongue. The only problem was Rayne wasn’t the best at learning languages. She was mostly passable in Treysian but only after literal decades of study. She didn’t want to bring Hannah’s hopes up only to disappoint with how slow Rayne might be with learning. Something was better than nothing however, so maybe even just trying would be enough for Hannah.
There was a gentle knock on the door that brought Rayne out of her thoughts of Hannah and back to the present. “Come in,” Rayne called out. As the doors opened Rayne’s thoughts were immediately back on Hannah since it was her at the door. There was the strangest feeling inside the lady at the feeling that if she were a beastkin herself her tail would have been wagging up a storm. Regardless of that strange feeling, Rayne was happy to see Hannah’s own tail had a very gentle sway to it. Clearly her fox was nervous but she was at least still happy.
Hannah gave her normal curtsy from the doorway before gently batting the door closed with her tail since her hands were full with the tray of tea. At first she didn’t think anything of it since that was a pretty normal occurrence for kin, but as she walked forward she realized that might not be considered a proper way to close a door. For as much time as she had spent around humans there were still so many things she didn’t understand about the way they expected her to act.
Closing the door with her tail might have been one of the cutest things Rayne had ever seen Hannah do. She wasn’t sure why she found it so cute but she did and it put a big smile on her face. “Good evening, Hannah,” Rayne said as the fox approached with the tray.
Seeing as there was no large reaction to her potential ‘indecent’ action, Hannah felt the little worry she had about it fade away. There was still plenty to fret about but she wasn’t going to let that bother her right now. “Good evening, Mistress,” Hannah responded as she set the tray down on the small tea table. Then came an important decision. Every night so far Rayne had told Hannah to sit down next to her, and had even gone so far as to imply that Hannah didn’t need to wait for her to say something first. Hannah could already tell that was what was to be expected even tonight from how Rayne had purposefully moved to one side of the seat. It was a surprisingly hard decision to make, but if she was going to be brave and speak her mind about other things it felt like she should be brave about this too.
It came as a very pleasing surprise when Hannah sat herself down next to Rayne without any prompting from the lady. Though Rayne had always wanted Hannah to do that she wasn’t expecting her fox to actually do it any time soon. Hannah had been so nervous about it ever night so far and Rayne couldn’t blame her. It wasn’t the appropriate thing to do given their positions and there was no doubt Hannah was still wary of humans. It warmed the lady’s heart and gave that light feeling of butterflies in her stomach. There had been so many nerves inside of Rayne about tonight and just that simple act helped her feel a lot calmer about it. That and how Hannah’s tail laid between them, gently pressing up against Rayne’s leg.
Hannah had done one brave thing tonight and she was going to live in that triumph for just a little bit before she pushed herself again. Only a little bit though as she didn’t want the night to go on too long and not have any time for Rayne to touch her ears. Without prompting Hannah started pouring the two of them cups of tea, not that they ever really spent much time drinking the tea.
“How was your first day as the librarian?” Rayne asked, deciding to start off the conversation with something Hannah liked.
“It was good, Mistress. There are a lot of books to go through and I feel like I barely got to any of them.” Even with that being the case, Hannah couldn’t help but smile. “But I am looking forward to going through all of them.
The smile on Hannah’s face was heartwarming and contagious. “I’m glad you had a good time.” The smile on Rayne’s face faltered as another thought came to mind. “There weren't any problems with my brother or Mr. Greenwood?”
“No,” Hannah shook her head. She was reluctant to admit it but she did say, “I honestly forgot they were there after a while.”
Rayne couldn’t help but let out a gentle sigh of relief. Kaden hadn’t brought up any problems when they had dinner together, but she wasn’t sure she expected him to do that if there was one. “I’m glad there weren't any problems. Did teaching go alright as well?” Though she had seen it with her own eyes, Rayne was still excited to hear about it in Hannah’s own words.
The tail between the two women started to wag harder. “It went really well. Derek is a fast learner and I’m a little surprised no one had taught him up until this point. I’m also surprised at how far he got teaching himself.” Hannah realized that Rayne might have meant the question to be more in reference to being in the library. “It was nice to have a proper place to teach again and not just sitting at the servants dining table. There were also less distractions in the library.”
It took a surprising amount of effort for the lady to not reach out and gently pet the wagging tail as she had done the previous day. Would Hannah feel more comfortable with Rayne petting her tail than playing with her ears now? That might be a good compromise if ears were too much after last night. Though this might not be the right time to bring all of that. Maybe they could just sit and enjoy each other’s company before delving into what their physical relationship will be now. “The library is a really nice place to learn, though I do feel a little biased since it is part of my home. As well as where I was taught.” Rayne kept that smile on her face. “Is there anything you need to help with teaching?”
That wasn’t a question Hannah had considered. She was just planning on making do with what she had at hand, which wasn’t really anything. Having materials and things to help her would be nice though. There were most likely books she could use to teach with already in the library that she just hadn’t gotten too yet. She could spend some time finding them on another day. Pens and paper were already provided as well, but something a little more would be nice. Though she knew what she wanted, she found it hard to admit. Rayne was asking though and she wanted to fully answer her mistress. “A journal for writing out lesson plans and such might be helpful.”
The lady gave a nod, feeling quite happy Hannah felt comfortable enough to ask for something. “That can easily be arranged. Anything else?”
There was always more that could be used for teaching, but for some odd reason Hannah couldn’t think of anything. Her mind was just stuck on the idea of a journal, but no it wasn’t with the intention of lesson plans. Before being taken she used to journal about her life. It helped her sort through her feelings and thoughts when she got overwhelmed and she could most certainly use that again in her life. The past few days had really left her with an immense amount of confusing thoughts and feelings.
The internal debate Hannah was having was easy to see on her face, but Rayne didn’t push her right away. She wanted Hannah to feel confident enough to ask for something without feeling pressure to do so. With how hard Hannah looked to be thinking it over Rayne had to admit she was very curious about what Hannah was thinking. Of course Rayne was going to provide it no matter what Hannah asked.
Hannah glanced up at Rayne, still feeling a little nervous. Seeing Rayne’s continued smile made Hannah a little more confident. She needed that confidence, especially if she was going to bring up what she had planned to do earlier today. “A… a second journal would also be helpful.” She could have left it at that but Hannah felt the need to be fully open. “But I don’t need it for teaching…” Hannah admitted very quietly.
The smile on Rayne’s face only grew. A few days ago Rayne wouldn’t have imagined Hannah would feel comfortable enough to ask for something personal. In fact she hadn’t asked for anything so far. Two journals were easily acquired and Rayne wasn’t going to deny her fox that. Hannah was just another member of staff here and Rayne wouldn’t ever stop any of them from having a journal for themselves. The only difference was that Hannah had to ask her for it instead of buying it for herself. Rayne gave a nod.
“And some ink and a pen.” Hannah added sheepishly. A journal wouldn’t do her much good if she couldn’t write in it. She wasn’t going to take one of the pens out of the library for it either as it felt a little like stealing.
It was strange how good it made Rayne feel to have made an environment where Hannah felt safe enough to ask her for something. Did that mean that Hannah felt safe around her? She hoped so deeply. Hannah would always be safe around her. Rayne would never let anything happen to her vixen.
“I will have someone go out tomorrow and get those for you tomorrow.” There was part of Rayne that wanted to go out herself and make sure to pick the best for Hannah, but that would be too much. She had already spent “too much” with the clothes and shoes, but more wasn’t going to hurt. Pens and journals weren’t that expensive though. Well pens could be depending on the maker. So could journals for that matter. Maybe if she didn’t tell Eda or whomever went to get them that it was for Hannah they wouldn’t judge how much Rayne was willing to spend for the best of the best.
Hannah couldn’t help but blush at the thought of Rayne having someone go out and buy her something. Someone wanted to buy something for her. Rayne had already bought so much for her so was it really a shock that a pen and journals would also be accepted? Maybe it had someone to do with how Hannah hadn’t asked for the other things her mistress had bought her. “Thank you, Mistress.” Hannah already knew the first thing she would write about was how much better Rayne had made life for her.
A gentle warmth filled Rayne’s chest as Hannah’s tail picked back up the gentle wag it had lost with her nerves over asking for something. In that moment seeing the tail wag truly was everything Rayne felt she needed. She didn’t need big romantic gestures. She didn’t need to have her feelings returned. All she needed was the small things that made Hannah happy. It was a strange and somewhat upsetting feeling to have some part of Rayne accept that she didn’t need Hannah to love her back to be happy. Of course she did want to be loved back, but Rayne struggled to imagine Hannah could ever feel that way about her. Could Hannah ever love another woman? Wouldn’t she want a man to spend the rest of her life with? Whoever was so lucky to have Hannah’s heart probably wouldn’t be a human either after all they had done to her. There were no other kin on the property and Rayne had no intention of letting this family purchase any more slave so there wasn’t likely to be. That would be depriving Hannah of the opportunity to find love with one of her own race though wouldn’t it? Recollection of Margret bringing a male beastkin suddenly came to mind and Rayne’s heart sank.
Hannah still hadn’t looked back at her mistress as her eyes just stared at her tea in her lap. There was maybe what could have been called an awkward silence, but Hannah wasn’t focusing on that. Her mind was on what she had decided earlier today. Was now a good time to bring it up or should she wait a little longer. Hannah was really bad at procrastinating when it came to doing important personal things. Doing things for other people was easy but when it came to herself it always felt so daunting and almost insurmountable. She needed to do this though. This was really important to her.
There was a waver in the deep breath Hannah took right before speaking. “Mistress, can we talk about last night?”
Rayne suddenly shook out of the pit of despair her heart was quickly diving into at her fox’s words. Now her heart started racing a little as anxiety built up. “What about last night?” Why did she say that? She knew exactly what Hannah wanted to talk about.
“When you were playing with my ears.” Hannah’s fingers curled around the teacup feeling its warmth. It was helping calm her beating heart.
Taking a deep breath didn’t calm Rayne’s heart as much as she hoped it would. “I’m still so sorry, Hannah. I truly had no idea that beastkin ears were that kind of sensitive.”
“They aren’t normally,” Hannah corrected. “It is true they are very sensitive, but not just any touch will result in an… experience like that. Normally the right touch is really relaxing and soothing. There are just… very specific ways in which they can be touched that can cause such a reaction. It’s different for everyone and normally takes a while for a partner to find those specific ways.”
Raynes face was growing hotter than it had last night when she thought about Hannah saying I love you. There was also something to be said that it appeared to be worse because Hannah used the term partner which felt like it could still be applied for a relationship between two women. “I…” She couldn’t bring herself to look at her fox with such a blush on her face. “I suppose if it is happening every night it is bound to happen at some point.”
Taking a glance at Rayne caused Hannah’s eyes to lock on those now very red human ears. She again still wanted to know what they felt like and her focus was so much on that she found herself saying, “You actually did it the very first night.”
There was a moment's pause before Rayne turned to look at Hannah in shock. She found those yellow eyes wide and staring back at her own as her mind tried to process what Hannah had just said. That couldn’t have happened the first night. There was never a moment of… Rayne suddenly remembered the shiver Hannah had done under her touch. Then she had assumed she hurt her vixen, but apparently not. What emotions was the lady even meant to feel from this revelation? “I-I’m sorry.”
The words Hannah had spoken finally registered in her own mind and her face quickly turned just as red as Rayne’s. Quickly she diverted her eyes away from the lady’s. “You don’t need to apologize, Mistress.”
Hannah calling Rayne mistress really wasn’t helping when mixed with the thoughts about having brought Hannah sexual pleasure. At least it wasn’t having the same reaction it had in her last night. Yet…
“I’m sorry if I have made you uncomfortable. I should have warned you about this aspect of our ears.”
“You haven’t made me uncomfortable, Hannah,” Rayne answered so quickly. “I fear it was my fault for not having had a better education about beastkin.”
Hannah shook her head. “It is not something we talk about often and I wouldn’t be surprised if most humans aren’t that aware of it.”
That was an interesting point Rayne hadn’t considered. Especially amongst nobility. She doubted there were many humans that played with the ears of their slaves. At least in a way that was gentle and consensual enough to create an environment in which it could be enjoyed.
“I…” The vixen’s heart was pounding again. She needed to keep being brave. “I would like to continue what we have done the past few days. It has been…” Hannah nervously gripped at her uniform as she looked down at the tea still in her lap. “It has been very comforting and relaxing. I haven’t had such comfort since my fiancee.”
Now there really was a whirlwind of thoughts and feelings rushing through Rayne. For one she was so incredibly happy that Hannah enjoyed their intimate time together and wanted to continue. Secondly Rayne had honestly been entirely forgetting about the fact that Hannah had a fiance. Those thoughts had been pushed out of her head as she thought about the future with Hannah. Even just thoughts of Hannah’s own future outside of Rayne. By the Goddess not ten minutes ago she had been worried about Hannah falling for the beastkin Margret was going to bring. Hannah had a fiance this entire time and all Rayne was doing was thinking about herself when it came to Hannah. She had been so selfish and she felt so incredibly stupid. How could she have done this?
Rayne’s own eyes glance down at the tea in her lap. Shame grew inside of the lady. “I’m sorry. I forgot about your fiance.” The shame was clear in Rayne’s voice. What was there to do? Well there was the obvious answer. Rayne had immense wealth and power, tracking down a slave wasn’t out of her capability. “What is his name?”
A pit grew in Hannah’s stomach at Rayne’s question and she couldn’t bring herself to answer. For as much as she wanted to tell Rayne, to even just speak about Elaine out loud again, she couldn’t. She was too afraid of how she had been treated in the past because of it. The urge to tell Rayne Elaine’s name still grew inside her. Hannah wanted to trust Rayne so badly. She wanted someone to trust.
Looking over at Hannah, it was clear to see the hesitation on her face. “If you tell me his name I would be able to track hi—”
“My fiancée didn’t survive the slaver raid.” Hannah had felt this hurt for many years, and was surprised that in this moment not all of the hurt she felt came from the loss of Elaine. Some of it came from telling Rayne that she couldn’t help her. There was also a strange feeling of comfort that Rayne was willing to search for her fiancée, just like Hamish had been.
“I…” The only feeling that passed through Rayne at this revelation was pain. Pain that Hannah had lost someone so dear to her. Someone that loved her deeply was gone and could never come back. “I’m so incredibly sorry, Hannah.”
“It’s alright, Mistress. It happened a long time ago now.” Hannah took a sip of her tea, not fully sure what to feel at this moment. There was too much to feel and too much to think about. All she really wanted right now was some comfort and company.
Rayne opened her mouth to say something but nothing came out. It wasn’t very often that she was at a loss for words. Instead of speaking she looked down at the tea in her hands before taking a sip as well. Was it right to move on in conversation past Hannah’s fiance? It suddenly registered with Rayne what Hannah had said right before mentioning her fiance. Hannah wanted to continue having Rayne play with her ears. The pit of hurt she felt started to fill with warmth at the knowledge that Hannah still wanted to have that be a part of their relationship.
“Are you sure you would still like me to play with your ears?” Rayne felt so nervous asking.
Hannah nodded. “I would like that if you are comfortable with it.” Relief flooded Hannah at knowing she had done the scary thing she had set out to do.
Rayne felt the smile she had earlier come back to her face. “I would like that as well.”
There was silence for a while as the pair sat comfortably next to one another. Neither spoke as they both sipped their tea. The tail sitting between them eventually began to sway ever so gently as the tea in their cups got lower. Rayne felt a gentle joy in knowing that Hannah was happy about where the night was heading. Eventually Rayne ended the silence. “Would you like to now?”
Hannah nodded before sipping the last of her tea and putting the cup down on the tea table. The motions of placing her head in Rayne’s lap were almost memorized. It didn’t feel odd anymore to be putting her head in someone else’s lap again and Hannah wanted to bask in the comfort of it. She could almost do it, but there was something eating at her. Something that was gripping her chest tight. When Rayne’s hands touched her ears, Hannah tried to push that feeling away and it worked for a time. Rayne’s touch was enough to draw her mind away from something she desperately felt she needed to say.
There was immense comfort in that there was no hesitation from Hannah as she placed her head in Rayne’s lap. There was also comfort in feeling Hannah relax against her as Rayne’s hands touched her ears. It felt like a wait had been lifted off her shoulders. All the fears, stress, and worry about moving past last night left in the most comforting of ways. The lady closed her eyes and just focused on the feel of Hannah’s soft fur on her finger. Of course she gave enough focus to not repeat the motions she had done last night.
“Mistress,” Hannah said after a few minutes of Rayne’s gentle touch. The feeling in her chest was only getting worse, and she needed trust. She needed to be able to trust in Rayne.
Rayne opened her eyes and looked down at the fox in her lap. Hannah’s tail was still and worry filled Rayne. “Yes?”
“I…” Fear started to run rampant through Hannah and tears welled up in her eyes. “My… my fiancee’s name…”
“Hannah, you don’t have to talk about him.” Rayne internally berated herself for ever bringing him up.
“H…” The panic in her chest gripped at her heart like a vice, but she needed to be able to trust in someone. “Her”
“What?” Rayne asked, not following what Hannah was trying to say.
“Her. My fiancee… Her name was Elaine.”
“Oh.” Rayne’s mind felt like it was misfiring. “That’s a pretty name.”
Hannah gave a gentle nod but didn’t say anything. Fears still pulled at her heart. Was a human going to once again prove they were accepting? Her the fox’s great surprise, nothing happened and Rayne just continued to gently play with her ears.
