ALL NOVEL Book Keeping
4/24 morning
In the morning, I found a necklace in my footlocker. It was pretty gaudy, with several gold links studded with purple gemstones. I slipped it into my pocket, and willed the menu open. I was immediately informed that I had completed a quest. Jackpot.
I pulled the stamp out of my inventory. It was a small wooden stamp with a simple insignia resembling a pair of wings. Supposedly, it would mark someone with three seconds of contact, and they would be captured in three days. I’m not sure exactly what captured means without a necklace conditioning the target, but I was promised unshakable loyalty and a certainty of sexual interest, so I’m ready to learn. This one was only one use though, so I’ll hold on to it for now. If I can’t get Auffrey to accept a necklace from me, probably when I get one a bit less ostentatious, I’ll just stamp her.
I checked my new missions next, and was surprised to see three of them. Another minor mission, a moderate mission, and a new section called “regional missions.” I opened up minor first, figuring it was more likely to be something I could work on today.
Rocking the ‘Stache
Seduce Brother Sammuel the paladin in Northshire Abbey, sleeping with him and assuring that at least one of you receives release.
Reward: a bronze breastplate
Discard y/n
No. No no no no, no. If I were into guys, sure, but I’m not gay; I would not find this activity fun. Maybe if I could capture him first and transformed him into a woman or something, but that is way too much effort and investment to get a piece of armor I could probably just buy, on a mission I could discard at any time. I wanted to know how discarding missions worked anyway. As it turned out, it was immediately replaced and I was given a 24 hour long timer.
Wanted: Garrick Padfoot
Ensure that Garrick Padfoot escapes Northshire Valley without being caught or killed by Deputy Willem or any agents of his.
Reward: One Mission ticket (usable to swap out a single mission), and twenty bottles of Dalaran Noir.
Well then. Apparently whoever is in charge of missions wants me to follow through on my crazy setup with the defias.
Dalaran Noir probably wasn’t a very expensive wine, but 20 bottles could probably go for a bit. A mission ticket would also be very welcome; I was almost at my cap. Plus they were small fries; I don’t think letting him loose will do much harm. Speaking of which, what the hell is a regional mission?
A popup, I don’t know how else to describe it, informed me that I would get a regional mission the first time that I completed any mission in a new area. There was no limit on the number of regional missions I could have, and they would all follow the same format: defeat the most powerful, well connected individual in the region that would impede my goals. Defeat was intentionally vague, but death, subjugation, capture, and being forced to abandon their current goals all qualified, so long as I was ultimately responsible. The reward would correspond in value with the target’s power and defenses.
Elwynn Forest
Defeat Hogger, the Scourge of Elwynn, leader of the Riverpaw gnoll pack
Reward: Wild Talent
So if I defeated a legendary meme of a quest mob, I would get really good at outdoor survival. I don’t hate the idea, but I am also pretty weak so far. At the moment I could clean bandages with magic, and hit inanimate objects with a stick very hard. Not exactly an elite commando.
I don’t know what a level ten elite translates to in this world, but I don’t intend to find out until I’m pretty sure I can take him. It would be too embarrassing for words to go down against Hogger in real life like some newbie player who had never seen an elite before. On the other hand, if I brought a dozen or so combatants, in my retinue or otherwise, I’d almost certainly be able to take him down. Definitely saving that one for later. So would I be graced with an attractive moderate mission?
The Hermit
Replace Abercrombie, the Hermit of Duskwood. He must not encounter anyone he knows for a full week, and no outsiders may notice his absence or have any suspicions that he isn’t himself. Bonus if you take on his role yourself, making at least one public appearance as him and acting as he would.
Rewards: a spool of ghost hair thread worth 2 gp, reality will shift so that currently unappealing female undead take on an idealized and sexually appealing form taking cues from their appearance in life, though their abilities and personalities will remain unchanged. In addition, all female undead will regain the ability to have and enjoy sex.
Bonus: a single use dark magic scroll that will reanimate a corpse into an undead waifu, instantly captured and bound to your will. More powerful corpses will make more powerful and intelligent undead.
What. This was a weird one. A bit extreme, and dangerous. Abercrombie was a notorious quest giver. He was actually a necromancer, a powerful one known as the Embalmer. In the game he would trick the player into helping him make a massive undead abomination, which in the earliest versions of the game would proceed to slaughter the entire town of Darkshire if it wasn’t killed first. I’m pretty sure that taking him out of the picture will be the hardest part. The base rewards seemed more cool than useful, though I suspect it would make any visit to Undercity a lot more potentially fun. The bonus seemed like the real prize; being able to effectively resurrect someone into my retinue one time seemed like one hell of a ace in the hole, and was on the short list of things that would make me even consider investing a full week into one task.
In retrospect I felt a bit shitty that saving the town of Darkshire was an afterthought, but I’d be doing that too. Unlike the raid in Redridge, I didn’t have a timeline built into the quest, but I was pretty sure Stitches would get created at some point with or without my involvement. Mark this one down as another mission I couldn’t ignore, I guess.
I checked Anetta’s status, and was surprised to see that she only had an estimated 102 hours left to capture. Around a day’s worth of extra time had been knocked off of the estimate since I checked yesterday. Even more exciting than that was the newly unlocked text box ready to start conditioning behavior.
Required behavior/reward. Just like with the punishments, I could input my desired behavior freely but the reward was a drop down box. Pleasure, euphoria, orgasm, affirmation, and negative emotion reduction. None of them really explained what they did, but I could probably guess for most of them.
Anetta seemed really sweet and eager to please. I started off by putting in “being called a good girl by Erich Bismark” paired with affirmation, but decided that was a bit overt. I replaced it with “being praised by Erich Bismark.” I was still learning how this worked, but I doubted that giving her slightly too many compliments would spook her, and the necklace didn’t tell me it was an invalid command.
I checked in with Darcell. 155 hours until capture. Her vitals were much worse than Anetta’s, but I figured that was because she was living off of stolen grapes while worrying that an army might swoop in and kill her. I wasn’t sure what to do with her. I shrugged and gave her the same limitations on orgasm as Annette, though I named myself Otto Bismark in hers. It seemed like a good default. I spoke into the amulet quietly, willing my words to go to her. “Alright love. I’m in a safe spot but I need to lay low for a bit and maintain appearances. I’ll let you know when I have more information. Meditate on the amulet. If you think it’s telling you to do something, go along with it.” If things could happen to accelerate capture, I was going to experiment a bit. For now though, I was already a bit late for breakfast.