Weeaboo's Unfortunate Isekai: The Necromancer's Gacha

I kneaded my temples slowly. There was a lot to unpack. No magic towers for the foreseeable future was a loss, but that wasn’t the only sort of artillery available to me. Nor the only sort used during the siege defense at Gradden Marche.

“Ballistae. You had a bunch of Ballistae that you made from scrap. Can we make more of those?”

My Counselors looked at each other in confusion. I wasn’t having it.

“NO! No you don’t! I know they are called spear launchers or whatever in your language, but we had this whole discussion about what they are called in MY language. You know exactly what I am talking about.”

“It's a ferociously strange word, Tower Master.” Versai shrugged. “Does it even mean anything? Lansiwr Gwaywffon does exactly what it says. “What does this thing that looks like a cart-sized crossbow with a spear for a bolt do? Oh, I bet it launches spears.” She then paused, collected herself, then more politely added “Tower Master.”

Gosh I am so happy I unlocked the relationship system. I bet she talks to me like this because we are such close friends. At a whopping one heart out of who knows how many.

“And we can build how many of them?”

“At present, none.” Versai shrugged. “But I believe we can build some with the right development.”

“Quite right. Actually, it’s some way up a whole industrial chain that would need developing, but it is quite possible.” Carousel nodded in agreement.

“Can we deploy them here?” I asked, feeling a rare moment of hope.

“No,” Versai said, casually stomping a steel clad heel into the testicles of optimism.

“Great.” Long cosmetic exhale. Sequential system roll-out, where integration was less important than launching new features. Just keep stacking the systems on top of each other, and make sure each one has a special currency that can be purchased for real money.

I felt a sudden spiritual pain. “Invest what? Taxes paid in what? What does my new fief use as currency?”

They gave me another look like I was an idiot for not knowing.

“You know what? I’m calling shenanigans on this look too. None of you, not a single one of you, knew what the Hell a ‘Sky Realm’ was, yesterday. None of you knew that the Floating Quarter of Gradden March could be, in any way, linked permanently with my Tower.”

That got a startled look from them, then a thoughtful one. “It’s always been Sky Gold, hasn’t it, Madam Carousel?” Sebastian murmured.

Sky Gold! Are you kidding me! Sky Gold! What kind of low effort, Friday afternoon job is Sky Gold?! My hand to Gojo (May his limitless funds bless me now and in the days to come), if the currency is just a gold coin with a crown on one side and a coat of arms on the other, I’m going to riot.

“It has. Rich, heavy gold coins of shocking purity. A startling, ancient crown on one side, and the heraldry of some equally arcane and obscure Kingdom on the other. I believe a terrible mystery lies behind those coins.” Carousel shook her head, the giant floppy hat nearly thwapping Sebastian as it waved back and forth. “It has always been thus.”

I felt the need to kill. To burn it all down. Then I remembered I was sitting in my own Throne Room and I would be burning down what, exactly?

“Yes. Quite right. But was it always thus yesterday? Sebastian’s eyes narrowed. “And not to put too fine a point on the poignard, Carousel, but in all the years of our acquaintance, I don’t believe I have ever heard you use the word ‘thus.’”

Oh, ‘ballistae’ is a nonsense word, but you know ‘poignard,’ do you? Not that I’m feeling bitter. Gold coins with a crown and a coat of arms. Beatings are too good for them.

Carousel looked like she was glitching out. I felt my lips tug up into a nasty grin. Sebastian had figured out he was in some twisted game a long time ago. More than that, he had already started working his own exploits. I shouldn’t be surprised that he was a bit more on the ball.

The strangest expression crossed their faces, like they suddenly relaxed. “Well, it’s not important right now.” Sebastian smiled his charming smile.

“Yes, the mystery will reveal itself in good time.” Carousel matched his smile with one of her own. My own grin vanished.

I knew the Tower screwed with the Awakened Souls’ minds. I’d seen Versai flat out not hear things, forget things, misunderstand things that she should have been perfectly clear on. That the mind control extended to the beings brought back through the relic site wasn’t strange. I just don’t think I had ever seen it be so blatant before. Or maybe I was just noticing it better.

When Carousel told me about the Dyn Hunllef, it unlocked Atrocity Mode. Which was not a good time. Gonna just leave this particular thread hanging.

“Alright, one last point- how does this all tie into the order system?” I asked.

“Upgrades and orders take time, still measured in orders. However, they don’t take up an order.” Versai smiled. I smiled too.

“So I can order as many things as I can afford, and they all happen at the same time?”

“Basically.” She nodded.

Fantastic! It really was a parallel system with the Tower management system.

“Alright, let's get the ball rolling on this, then plan out our last order of the day for the Tower. Then it’s on to the wave, and the next day. Given the absolutely hilarious amount of loot we just got, I’m looking forward to giving the monsters a solid kick in the teeth.”

That got smiles of approval all around. We got into it. While we all agreed that the ultimate goal had to be military power, I was adamant that the way we get there is a strong economy. Build that up first, then roll the cash into expanding the army.

We weren’t starting from scratch, thankfully. The Sky Realm had its own small treasury, with what sure looked like a lot of gold in it. I knew these were just starter funds for, essentially, the tutorial, but whatever. Free gold is free gold.

I did rebuild the militia barracks, though. Those guys were way, way too useful to miss. Everything else I rolled into improving roads and water supply. It would take six orders to complete the lowest level upgrade (not to mention costing a fortune) but it was worth it. The production rate would go up, attrition would go down, siege holdout time would go up, potion costs would (very slightly) go down… on and on and on.

Osain and Sebastian went back to the Floating Quarter to start the ball rolling. They couldn’t help in what was coming next. The routine upgrades I left to Versai- we just had too much in the way of upgrade kits, armor pieces and stone tapes to make my micro-managing worthwhile. Well. I ordered her to distribute them all, prioritizing herself and Carousel for this round, then working downwards by star level. I kept for myself the best bits of management- summoning and costumes. And Tower upgrades. And defense design.

It occurs to me that I might not be the best at delegating.

I’m just going to ignore that.

First and foremost- summoning. I had three hundred and forty Resonance Crystals, which was… kind of nuts, but in a good way. I had accumulated a pretty big sack of directed summoning fragments, which, glory be! Yielded one rather pretty looking, vivid and downright noisy crystal.

Four new summons? Yes please. Off I trotted to the summoning pool, and in they went.

I nearly fainted with joy when I saw who came out. Two Judiths, a Pomoroi, and from the directed summoning crystal, we had a new recruit. And she looked like Miyuki’s tomboy cousin.

Tanned from a life outdoors, long black hair tied up in a high ponytail, and a surprisingly form-fitting ninja outfit, she was scratching a Yoruichi itch I didn’t know I had. And best of all were the four stars glimmering overhead. I was getting the big doki-doki’s for her, okay? Don’t judge me, Bleach was formative for a lot of us. It took me a moment to get myself under control.

“Judiths, welcome. Please go find the other Judiths and Marci, I’m sure there will be work for you soon. Pomoroi, a pleasure and an honor. You will be working with, and under, Steelheart Pomoroi. I believe she is currently outside.”

“We can get it done!”

“Pomoroi, by Imperial Decree!” Pomoroi’s bark landed like a lung punch, as her biography intruded into my memory. I shook my head and pushed through.

“And you are?” I asked the new recruit.

“I am the hunter of Hidden Moon Mountain- Rikka.” Her voice was cool and a touch distant, her eyes already sweeping through the room and interrogating the shadows.

“Hunter…” I didn’t see a bow. “What do you hunt?” Her eyes focused back on me.

In the same cool monotone- “Demons. Human and otherwise.”

Ah. “Are you a scout?”

She cocked her head fractionally to one side, thinking about it. “Yes.”

I controlled my urge to fist-pump. Two scouts? Hell. Yes. We had Rache, she of the cowboy/motorcycle aesthetic and now Ninja Vigilante Rikka. I couldn’t wait to find out how she did her thing.

Happy thought- Rache was only One Star. A Four Star Scout… just what would her range be like?

“Do you fight ranged or melee?”

She cocked head to the opposite side. I had the feeling that I was being observed, judged and found wanting by a cat.

“Both. I set traps, then go in with a dagger or shoot them with a sling.” She did say hunter, didn’t she. Although that versatility was very nice.

“And do you have a mount, or a vehicle or something?”

“How could I hunt if I did?”

And there it was. My old friend Trade-Off. Rache was a liability in combat. During waves, her job was strictly working as an artillery spotter and taking shots at the wounded. Which she was really damned good at, but what she was even better at was covering a whole lot of territory when I sent her out to scout. I’m not sure how much a hunter would help on the scouting front.

I scratched my chin, thinking it through. Rikka went back to staring at shadows. I wonder if she could hear it when the ideas clicked in my head.

“Good at finding hidden monsters?”

“Naturally.”

“Can you make traps to help others spot them?”

“Yes.”

I smiled. The Monsters wouldn’t just get a kick in the teeth this wave, they would get stomped.

Having summoned my new troops, I was onto the next most important thing- new costumes. Of which I had three, not including the Cutthroat Clothiers. I was really starting to wonder what their deal was. I couldn’t find any trace of them, but I now had an unreasonably large stack of orders for them. My best guess was that it was one of the few still blurred out cards pinned to the notice board in my Throne Room. I’d find out eventually.

One of the costumes was for Rikka, of all people. I took one look and nearly gagged. Phony, fashion-grade camo oversized jacket and camo pants that wouldn’t cut it in a Cabela’s, dotted all over with spray-paint-effect skulls and coming complete with a balaclava (same skull ‘sprayed’ on the back of it) and matching high top sneakers.

ULTRA RARE, LIMITED EDITION- Wrecking Rikka! To celebrate our exciting new expansion Darkness Falls on Hidden Moon Mountain, Spires of Ancient Twilight is excited to announce its collaboration with -

There was a seal, or sigil, or some collection of shapes that superseded the concept of language and instead impressed burning meaning directly into my forebrain, stamping down the meaning of a thing beyond all mortal reference, beyond the concepts of existence and dimensionality, beyond all morality, searing and burrowing down-

We CANNOT WAIT to show you how it turned out. Now you can enjoy Rikka, Miyuki, Yoko, and Mrs. Hungry in both their classic outfits on the battlefield, and sharply dressed for the urban streets as they relax around the Tower.

And that was it. No added stats, no bonuses. Just a new costume. And the costume sucked.

I grabbed it of course, but it still sucked. Industry collabs, I swear.

The other two were vastly more sensible. The first was a rather snappy uniform for Radz, which swapped the gold accents on her black uniform with red accents. No bonuses to damage, but it did give bonuses to how fast she could acquire new targets. Not fire on the targets. Just sped up how fast she could aim at them. Which was something. I’d have her equip it. The last one was for Kim, and it was a show costume.

And it was… oddly normal? A slim black suit, white tank top underneath, with a chunky golden chain and alligator skin boots to finish it out. One sleeve pinned up. It added a certain androgynous flair to our resident support expert.

Sunset Blaze Kim

Worn by Kim as she performed with Call to Arms at the Riverside Music Festival. It was subsequently altered after she lost her arm fighting against the Monsters during the show. She insisted on wearing it for public appearances afterwards, including the public inquiry into the massacre.

A sewer outflow pipe had been improperly sealed by a lowest-bid contractor, resulting in the monsters having a direct channel into the city. Call to Arms turned their lights and music up as far as they would go, and launched into their most high energy set. They wanted to distract the monsters and give the crowd a chance to run away. It worked. Kim’s secret boyfriend ran the light and sound rig. The Riverside Music Festival was the last show he ever produced.

None of the band members walked off the stage in one piece. And in the remaining few months of her life, Kim had to watch her boyfriend’s stomach being torn open and his guts chewed every night when she tried to sleep. Somehow, despite her blown-out eardrums, she could hear every scream. She still hears every scream.

Sunset Blaze Kim- +100% Monster Aggro for Support Actions, +500% Monster Aggro Radius, +40 to Resistance.

Kim… was unfailingly cheerful. Never had a nasty word to say about anyone. Part of that was the Tower, but I always got the feeling that she wouldn’t even if she could. Pomoroi’s Steelheart uniform lets her hit the enemy harder, in exchange for giving up any possibility of retreat. Kim? Her Sunset Blaze uniform is a long scream of defiance. Screaming at the monsters that they took too much from her, but not everything. She was still standing ten toes down on the stage. Not even the devs could take that from her.

“All eyes on me.” I muttered. But there was no one alive enough in earshot to ask me what I meant. I gave Kim the costume a few minutes later. She looked very comfortable wearing it.

I corralled Versai, Rakim (late of the Army Corps of Engineers) Marci and the Judith Squad and convened a conference in my Throne Room. Versai and Rakim for the work planning, Marci and the Judiths for the actual labor. I had my shiny new scepter in hand, just to see how much of an efficiency boost I was able to get out of it.

“Good news- We have a big sack of resources and we have increased our labor force by roughly fifty percent. Which is amazing. And we still have one order left before tonight’s wave, also amazing. Our Blue Roses are now functional, ish, when used in conjunction with our powerful new Six Star- Carousel. We have an additional Pomoroi, increasing our artillery by, again, fifty percent. To three, but that’s still fantastic. We have been joined by Rikka, our new scout who is going to be a nightmare in the woods for any sneaky units.”

I smiled around the room, expecting nothing and getting it. No matter. Pressing onward.

“The bad news is that the current defensive setup is both stupid and dangerous. I thought it made sense, but based on the types of monsters we saw at Gradden March, it’s a deathtrap for us, not them.”

“How so?” Versai raised an aristocratic eyebrow. “Leaving aside the giant monsters, as raising a wall that could keep them out is near-impossible. For the rest, I think the current arrangement would work reasonably well.”

“Wall breakers. Enough of them could plow a straight line from the woods through our maze, bypass all the pits and smash directly into the trench in front of the final wall. Leaving a trail for all the other monsters to run straight through.” I shook my head. “To say nothing of the exploding murder baboons. They could take out the spikes on top of the walls, letting regular monsters through. I would still put money down on flying or ranged units popping up eventually.”

I drew in a deep, resentful breath. I had been really proud of my fan shaped killing zone idea, but the deep pits and low walls at the turns to allow for easier artillery targeting was, at best, short sighted. And my notion of watch towers for our lovely sniper which put her outside the walls was… equally shortsighted. Maximizing the availability of headshots in exchange for maximum vulnerability was a losing trade.

These were real people, lobotomized and trapped in dolls bodies, but real. Promises aside, given how big the waves got, I really did need to keep my summons alive at all costs.

“Alright, well, we can’t do anything too dramatic in the time available. What did you have in mind? Versai asked.

“First- we now have Carousel, and access to her ult. That is, her particular discipline- the Final Revel or whatever it was called.”

“So we need a big open area, like the one in front of the final wall.” Versai nodded.

“We stick Pomoroi on each bastion, so they can fire into both flanks as the monsters spin around mindlessly.”

“Makes sense. Radz?”

“Just stick her in front of the front door, behind that final wall. She’s shooting almost vertically as it is. I can’t imagine she needs to lower her elevation that much to be effective at longer ranges.” I grinned. “No, the real question is how do we make best use of our other units, and slow the monsters down effectively. And I have an idea about that.”

“Oh?”

“Versai, did you know that you can build a wall offensively?”

“Yes. I grew up in a castle, of course I know that.”

“Versai?”

“Yes, Tower Master?”

“Work with me here.”