What We Do to Survive

“They’re almost done, Orion. Orion. Orion?” I shook my head slightly to clear it, Miranda’s quiet whispers pulling me away from the irritating exercise I’d been struggling with. I blinked several times in rapid succession and nodded my head slightly at the anxious looking girl before refocusing on the stage.

Just as Miranda had implied, it seemed the presentation was just about over. The last speaker, Professor Meadows, who I was pretty sure was also a Xithian native, had just yielded the stage back to Professor Shatterglass for the closing remarks.

Shifting slightly in my seat, I did my best to subtly stretch my tired muscles. I’d been sitting here nearly motionlessly for several long hours, and while the satin-backed chairs were comfortable, they were not that comfortable. Hopefully she wouldn’t take too long, her last few times speaking had been only a few minutes at a time so I had high hopes she wouldn’t drag everything out. That would be a welcome change, particularly after the grueling, hour long presentation given by the man introduced as Professor Glassoak. His presentation had certainly been… informative, but I was pretty sure it could have finished in a quarter of the time he’d spent talking.

Thankfully, it seemed Professor Shatterglass was not one to mince words. She rushed through thanking her colleagues for their work, repeated where we could find more information about the discussed topics, and then sharply spun around and walked off stage, the floating screens flickering out and following after her a moment later. That was a nifty trick, though not an aspect of artifice I had ever looked into. Maybe I would try to take a class with her in the coming years.

The moment she stepped away from the stage, the room broke out into a din of conversation. People throughout the room rose from their seats, stretching and talking enthusiastically with their neighbors. I could see quite a few people hurriedly rushing out of the room, and I was sure that if not for Liam’s comment, I likely would have been one of them. As it was however, I turned to Miranda, who was nervously standing beside me.

“What did you think?” I asked while rolling my neck. “I can see why people find these so valuable, that was… dense.”

“Yes, definitely. Umm… would you like me to make some notes for you on the sections during which you were preoccupied?”

Preoccupied was a very polite way to put it. There had been more than one part of the presentation that I had ended up blocking out entirely as I focused on my practice. Some of it had been intentional, like when one of the botany professors had spent most of twenty minutes discussing soil acidity and the difficulties of growing most common crops on the islands. Other times… I had a bad habit of hyperfocusing on things sometimes, particularly when they were giving me difficulties.

Smiling brightly at her, I nodded. “That would be great, thanks Miranda. I appreciate you taking the initiative here.”

She didn’t seem to know how to respond to that, simply standing silently for several long moments as I took several short steps to stretch my legs a little. Yes, I absolutely needed to reward her, maybe some jewelry or something? Miranda tended to wear quite a bit of it, maybe I could enchant something for her? Those nipple rings of hers had been quite clever, but the enchantments on them had been poorly bonded to the metal and that sort of enchantment would work much better somewhere closer to the throat. Maybe a tongue piercing? Did Miranda have a tongue piercing?

I resisted the urge to check, that seemed rather rude to do in public, but I could just ask her later. I’d been surprised to find that Briella had a stud in her tongue, apparently it was something of a fad among the local nobles where she was from. Something to do with purity? She’d said something about it but I hadn’t been paying much attention at the time.

For now, I decided I would do as Liam had suggested and seek him out. If nothing else, I was interested in his take on what we’d learned in Mana Theory the day before. Our lecturer had some novel ideas about training fine control using magically inert substances like depleted adamantine. It seemed like a rather far-fetched idea, and ruinously expensive considering just how expensive even a few grams of the material was, but after his presentation I was convinced it was worth looking into.

I’d had some thoughts about other substances that might work, something a little bit cheaper than a literal king’s ransom, perhaps a more common metal that had been rendered artificially inert via runework? I’d found some promising books the night before, but maybe he would know something I didn’t. He was a much more experienced mage than I was, after all.

Liam and his companions proved easy to find, having gathered in a small clump right by the stage at the center of the room. I recognized most of them of course, it was good to know all the upper years at least by face, even if I’d only ever spoken to a handful of them. Only two unfamiliar faces stood with the group of sixth and seventh years. One was a leggy brunette who I thought might be a fourth year and was hanging off of Jack Baretree’s, while the other…

I almost stumbled over my feet as I stepped into the radius of her presence, the hammerblow of mana overwhelming even with the already high mana concentration in the room. It was clearly a deliberate gesture, no one that powerful could possibly have such poor control over their mana, and it certainly did an excellent job of displaying her ‘credentials’. She was clearly a graduate, and a scary one at that. I didn’t recognize her off hand, but I was certain she was not someone to cross.

Despite doing my best to keep my own mana pulled tightly against my body, my approach was easily noticed by several members of the group who glanced over at me. I nearly stopped, feeling somewhat awkward to be moving towards a group that so clearly outclassed me, but then Liam looked up and waved me over, a broad smile on his face. I did my best to smile back, squaring my shoulders and slowly spinning my mana to lessen the pressure on any one part of my soul.

After another moment of indecision, I stepped into a small gap in the circle slightly behind Liam, bowing my head politely towards the rest of the group. Liam clapped his arm onto my shoulder and pushed me forward until I was standing in line with the rest of the group. “Hey Orion, happy you could join us.” He turned to the rest of the circle, who had paused whatever conversation they’d been having before I arrived. “I want to introduce Orion, he’s the third year taking Mana Theory with me this year. Kid’s got a real talent, I have a feeling he’s going to go far.”

I did my best not to blush or look away as the attention of a half dozen mages was suddenly focused on me. I felt several of them reach out to gently probe the edges of my mana, though thankfully none of them went any further than that. After a moment’s thought, I did my best to return the gesture, reaching out with feather-light strands of mana to meet the probes.

My actions earned me several raised eyebrows and looks of interest. After a moment, one of the sixth years, a dark-skinned man with intricate tattoos running along his bare arms, clicked his tongue and nodded. “I can see what you mean, his control is excellent. You say he’s just a third year?”

Liam started to respond, but Jack’s laughter cut him off, “Oh, I should have guessed it was going to be this kid. I did a demonstration with him for Shrike a few weeks ago, should have known it was the same person. I think I get what you see in him, if he can avoid getting offed for a few more years he has a real shot of graduating. Might even make it a year early at this rate, I can taste fourth-circle magic in his aura.”

I fidgeted slightly as Jack’s companion pulled her eyes away from his face and turned to look at me as well, a thoughtful, cunning look on her face. I didn’t like that expression at all, particularly not from a student who could attack a year down at me. I carefully memorized her face, it looked like I had a new task for Miranda the next time I saw her. She looked like trouble.

“Exactly. Figured I might as well introduce him if we were all going to be talking anyway.” He turned back at me, then began to point around the circle. “So Orion, meet Shrav,” the ginger seventh-year nodded sharply, “Clarient,” the severe-looking girl I recognized from our Mana Theory class smiled faintly, “Shakhan,” the tattooed sixth-year silently touched two fingers to his lips, “and Kess,” the shockingly pale seventh-year did not visibly react.

Liam took a deep breath and continued. “Of course, it seems you already know Jack, and this is Archmage Rockfish, she’s actually the person who originally sponsored me to Avalon if you can believe it.” As each person was introduced, I nodded and committed their names to memory. It would be incredibly rude to forget them after they’d been introduced to me, and I didn’t want to be rude with people like these. If the nod to the archmage ended up being more like a short bow, no one seemed interested in commenting. I was slightly annoyed when Liam decided against introducing the fourth year girl, but I wasn’t particularly surprised. She didn’t feel like anything particularly special, so I was not really sure why Jack was letting her drape herself all over him. Were they in a relationship maybe? Or perhaps she was related to him somehow? Definitely something to look into.

With the introductions out of the way, the group dove back into the previous topic of their conversation, which had something to do with the cost of certain salt-water kelp species that one of the presenters had mentioned. I had some trouble keeping up, I was missing a lot of context, but it seemed like the stuff was useful for some sort of potions research Archmage Rockfish was doing? I was not nearly as familiar with that branch of alchemy as I was with transmutation and some of the terminology being bandied about went over my head.

Soon however, the conversation shifted to more familiar topics and I found myself drawn into the conversation as well. When I accidentally let slip that I was actually from the area myself, I was quickly pestered with questions about the islands ‘from the perspective of a local’. I was pretty sure they were somewhat disappointed by my answers, but it seemed Shakhan was interested in my descriptions of hunting with my father as a child and of the various mundane species that could be found in the area. I wasn’t sure why that could be important, but I cheerfully traded a tutoring session in minor shapeshifting in exchange for writing up a report on everything I could remember. It would be good to refresh my memories regardless, and I would never say no to advice from a more experienced spellcaster in their speciality.

Over the next hour or so, several people slowly drifted in and out of the circle, and I was introduced to two more alumni and three more sixth years. Liam was apparently somewhat friendly with the majority of the upper years, which surprised me until he quietly explained how inter-student conflicts tended to either peter out or end with someone dead before the middle of sixth year. That did make a lot of sense, two second years fighting might both walk away injured but alive, but in a protracted conflict between high-circle mages, people often didn’t even leave an intact corpse behind.

Eventually however, Liam had to leave, and I realized the constant weight of mana was getting to me as well. It had gotten much less overpowering once a large portion of the audience had left, but there was still enough lingering power in the air to be rather uncomfortable. I politely excused myself with no incident and fled back to the relative comfort of my own room and the mountain of work I still wanted to get done this weekend.

Leana moaned loudly into Adonia’s mouth as the older girl’s manicured nail trailed exquisitely across flushed skin. Her partner immediately jumped on the moment of weakness, tongue pushing past Leana’s parted lips and brushing against her own. Leana moaned again, wrapping her arms tighter around the other girl’s waist and legs tangling together under the soaked and half-discarded sheets.

After a moment however, Adonia pulled away, sweat-slicked skin shining in the dimly lit bedroom. With the thick blinds pulled over the windows and the large mage-light chandelier unlit, only the flickering light of the ever-burning fireplace was left to illuminate the room, casting deep shadows across parts of the olive-skinned girl’s face.

Leana tried to push herself up, but her tired arms gave out after a moment and she collapsed with a tired but satisfied sigh onto the fluffy pillows scattered around the bed. She stretched her arms out to Adonia, trying to pull her back into her embrace, but instead Adonia untangled her legs and rolled onto her side to lie shoulder to shoulder with Leana.

The two lay in silence for several long minutes. Leana could tell that Adonia wanted to say something, but trying to push her would only make her scatterbrained lover lose her train of thought and rush to assure her that everything was fine. Unlike some people, Adonia did not stew in silence, simply taking some time to gather her thoughts. Instead, Leana simply stretched slightly, luxuriating in the feeling of Adonia’s soft skin against her own and the wonderful soreness of her muscles.

Eventually, Adonia rolled onto her side, throwing an arm over Leana’s chest and supporting herself with the other. “I’m worried, Leana. About us.” She paused for a moment, and Leana barely resisted the urge to interject. Seeming to sense that, she quickly continued, “Not about us, us, I mean. This is… wonderful, everything I could have ever wanted, but just about how others see us.” She paused again, head slumping down on the pillow only a few inches away from Leana’s ear.

“It’s just… Other people are starting to get to me. They don’t understand, but they see our love as something… dirty, immoral. I’m not the heiress, thankfully, but even then, I was always expected to marry for my family. Dad. Father, he loves me, and wants what's best for me, but there is a lot of… other pressure on him.”

Leana turned her head, staring into Adonia’s eyes as she fell silent again. Was this? Was she?

Again, Adonia interrupted her before Leana could say anything. “What we have, it's… it’s something beautiful, and special, and I never want to give it up. I love you and I want to be with you for the rest of our lives, but… but it’s going to be hard. The new king… he’s… not as close to father as the previous Lawgiver. We’ve lost a lot of influence, and…” Adonia’s words caught in her throat and she swallowed heavily.

Leana closed her eyes and finished the sentence Adonia had been unable to. “And I’m just a nobody.”

“Well, I wouldn’t quite put it like–”

“I understand.” Leana turned away, eyes drifting to the glittering sphere of crystal that typically illuminated the opulent bedroom. Was it… no, the crystal looked no different than it had been on any other day. It was the tears in her eyes that threw its image off.

“That doesn’t mean we can’t be together, just that…” She paused and took a deep breath. “We’re to be engaged on the solstice. Lord Shatterstorm has agreed that I can have other lovers, as long as none are men.”

Leana felt her heart plummet, a nearly physical pain that pushed away the lingering tinges of pleasure in her chest. “And… and I’m supposed to be ok with that? Just another lover for you, when you grow tired off fucking your lord husband? You didn’t even– couldn’t you have at least– you should have–” Adonia tried to wrap her other arm around Leana, but she pushed the hand away, “You didn’t even have the guts to say something! Anything! You just… just…”

She fell silent again, and rolled onto her side. She wanted to move, run, scream, anything, but… what would it change? She sat up, ignoring the obvious pain written across her lover’s face. No matter how much she hated to see it, a small, vengeful bit of her soul was happy to know that her words had cut the other girl. She deserved it, using her like this, using her, like… Tears spilled freely from her eyes, running down flushed cheeks to land on bare thighs. Was this all she was good for? Just another toy for those born better to play with? She looked past the drawn curtains, imagining her eyes could pierce through the heavy cloth and the rainy gloom outside. At least he’d been honest about his intentions from the start.