What We Do to Survive

Sitting down for a ‘family’ dinner was… odd. I couldn’t even remember the last time I’d done so. It must have been when I was thirteen or fourteen, when a young couple had taken me in for the night. I’d been a miserable looking wretch, my clothing in tatters and bruises all along my legs from where I’d barely escaped a pack of hollowsand wolves, and it had been my first properly cooked meal in weeks. Why did… I winced internally as the memory rose up fully from the depths of my mind. Oh. Right.

They hadn’t been a particularly nice couple, had they. I’d barely escaped through a window after stabbing the husband with the knife I’d kept under my pillow when they tried to kidnap me from my bed. I was lucky they’d used dreamnettles and not something more potent in my food, or I would have never woken up when I’d heard him creeping into the room. I’d thought I’d tasted something off, but I had been so very hungry… That had been the last time I’d accepted food from strangers.

I surreptitiously glanced around the small dining room, then used the table as cover to cast a localized poison-detection ward. I didn’t really expect anything to happen, I was supposedly among friends, but you could never be too careful. Something about Lea’s story felt… off. It just sounded so unbelievable. I could tell that she believed what she was saying, but… really? Escaping on the tail of a sea serpent from a centuries old kraken after surviving in the water while the two titans fought? Especially after years of captivity, torture, and while restrained? It was preposterous.

I wasn’t quite sure what it meant, however. Had she been stuck in some sort of illusion? Perhaps she’d fallen unconscious and that was the story she’d heard afterword, turned into memory by the passing years? Or maybe… I looked searchingly at Erwin, who was standing in the corner of the room gathering plates from a cabinet. Though I’d never tried it myself, I’d heard that powerful mages could go as far as directly editing the minds of their lessers. It was apparently horrifically difficult, requiring the caster to be many circles more powerful than their victim, but if Lea had just been a magicaless child at the time? A seventh circle mage could have probably managed it. Unfortunately, such a skilled seventh circle mage would also be fully capable of hiding from my senses

I grit my teeth and firmly pushed that thought aside. I would look into it, it would be horribly lazy not too, but it wasn’t like I could do anything about it now. If one of these ‘uncles’ was a seventh circle spellcaster, I wouldn’t be able to do anything about it even if I knew. Similarly, I had no way to check if her mind had been tampered with. I was sure such a method existed, but I barely even knew how I would go about finding it. For now, I would simply accept her story as sufficiently true and move on. As my father had always said, ‘Trust that your arrow flew straight, but verify before you approach the corpse.’

A moment later, Lea and Erwin bustled into the room, carrying two heavy trays laden with food. I stood up to help, but Erwin waved me away, just as his brother had when I’d tried to help set the table. I was a guest, he’d said, so I should just relax while they got everything set up.

Sitting back in the surprisingly comfortable wooden chair, I studied the duo as they moved briskly through the room, setting down cups and plates, arranging dishes, and pouring drinks. Erwin and Estin as they’d introduced themselves were identical twins, only a pair of faded scars on Erwin hand and face helping to distinguish the two brothers. They were both older men, with graying hair and salt-and-pepper beards, but both moved easily despite their obvious age. They were dressed in simple, practical clothes, and their slightly paler skin told of foriegn ancestry somewhere among their grandparents.

To my senses, both men felt like first circle mages, and only barely at that. Erwin’s mana felt slightly denser, but neither felt like a real mage. Instead, I assumed they were just like so many other crafters, able to cast a few minor spells directly related to their work, and little else. Their cores were all but nonexistent, and neither man had anything resembling a circulation, but I did not discount the possibility that it was some sort of cover. I had no idea why a pair of near-archmages would disguise themselves as mundane leatherworkers for half a decade, but powerful mages could be eccentric at times.

Murmuring a quiet ‘thank you’, I took the offered mug of hot cider and passed it briefly through the detection ward. When nothing happened, I took a deep breath over the mug and then drank a small sip. Delicious.

Oh, that was a thought. What if neither of the brothers was the mage in question, but rather that part of the story was true and it was how she’d gotten away that was the lie. Perhaps a passing mage had edited her memory… and then dumped her in the ocean to die? No, that didn’t make sense. And then dumped her down right beside a passing ship. Maybe? It was far fetched, but no more than her actual story.

With everything laid out, Lea and the brothers took their seats around the square table, with Lea on my right and Erwin on my left. The food was simple, but smelled no less amazing because of it. Fried fish steamed lightly in the cool air beside boiled potatoes and freshly baked bread. I wasn’t particularly hungry, I’d eaten a light dinner at the cafeteria while I was meeting with Miranda, but I would gladly try this as well.

I was about to dig into my food when Lea’s hand on my leg stopped me. I glanced over at her and she jerked her head towards Erwin, who had stood up with his mug held in the air before him. I looked on in confusion as he poured a small measure of his drink into a small bowl at the center of the table, then he began to speak and I understood.

“Holy Miira, you who lit the sun and broke the Sea-Wraith’s back. We thank you for the fruits of our labor, for bringing food to our table and guiding our hands as we work. Ten-thousand moons have you loved us, and ten-thousand more may we honor you.” He closed his eyes and bowed his head. A small spell matrix formed in front of his chest and the alcohol in the bowl flared up red-hot for a moment before sputtering out.

I felt any respect I’d had for the brothers disappeared as both of them mumbled a short prayer under their breaths. Lea copied them a moment later, but I didn’t even care enough to pretend. Creator god cultists, of all the things… It was one thing to worship an actual divinity for what it could do for you. I’d never done so personally, but Avalon’s members were encouraged to direct any worship towards the original Myrddin, First Librarian, or one of the myriad of other members that had ascended over the centuries. They rarely interacted with the physical world, baring a few conceptual entities such as the one that safeguarded the cafeteria, but acted to further Avalon’s interests in the world beyond and thus deserved what little help we could offer them.

True gods could draw some amount of power from devotion or actions done in their name, but that tended to be greatly limited, and they rarely offered anything in return. Some of the older ones had set up proper organizations over the centuries, drawing power from tens of thousands of mortals and granting them some sort of benefit in return, but it was not a particularly common practice because the effort was just not worth the payoff. In general, divinities could only gain tangible results from worshipers that aligned with the concept they had used to become gods themselves, so only former orators or political leaders could really get much out of a random worshiper.

Worshiping a fake god on the other hand? Utter idiocy. I had no idea which particular cult worshiped this Miira, but they were all the same in the end. It was obvious from Erwin’s words that this was one of them. ‘Miira, you who lit the sun’? Really? The sun was a gigantic ball of fire that predated known life in this universe. No one had ‘lit the sun’. Fucking lunatics, and they were draging my Lea into their madness as well.

Still, I didn’t say anything. You couldn’t really argue with crazy, so I would just make sure Lea was properly informed later in private. There was no telling how the duo would react if I started to say something now.

Seeing the others start to eat, I dug into my food as well, but my mood was thoroughly ruined. Despite my concerns, I’d been looking forward to speaking with the people that had been taking care of my Lea while I couldn’t. At least I’d learned that both men were clearly stupid or insane before I’d spent too much time with them. At least they seemed to be reasonably competent as people despite their other issues, the products I’d seen looked well made and Erwin was a fine cook. Lea seemed like she’d had a modestly comfortable life with them

After several minutes of clinking forks and quiet eating, Erwin finally broke the silence. “So, young man,” he said, “Leana told us that you saved her from some ruffians last night, and that you used to be friends as children.” So she had told them that much at least, that was good to know. He continued, “We are very grateful of course, but I must ask. How did you come to be here now? I don’t believe we’ve met before, and our niece grew up quite far from this island.”

I slowly finished chewing and set my fork down beside my plate. Even if I didn’t think much of them, I’d been expecting this ever since they’d called us down for dinner. I was a stranger suddenly intruding on their ‘niece’s’ life, of course they would be curious.

“It’s a funny story,” I said after a moment, “I didn’t know Lea was here either, we haven’t seen each other in almost a decade. I’m actually in town for the portal, I’ve been out of Xethis for most of the last decade, and ran into her completely on accident. I’m glad I found her when I did.” I faked a shudder and decided to use Erwin’s own words, “I dread to think what would have happened if I hadn’t been there. I’m sure the guards would have arrived eventually, but until then…”

Erwin nodded somberly, “Yes, terrible business that. To think she would be attacked just minutes away from our home and we didn’t even know it until later. These last few days the entire regiment has been focused around the market square, they’re all on edge with so many outsiders rushing into the area.”

“I’ll have to have a word with the captain next time I see him,” interjected Erwin. “That such a thing would happen on his watch, shameful. Shameful. If you have any trouble, let me know and I’ll go down to the station to work things out myself. Calvert is a good man and a good soldier, I’m sure he would be able to help you out and he’ll be shocked that his men let something like this happen.”

“I’d bet my last piece they were paid off,” Erwin grumbled. “They brought in a whole new regiment from the outer islands to bolster the locals and it’s been nothing but trouble. I’m sure he’s got his hands full dealing with those no-good bucket-heads. Why, just last week…”

I tuned out most of the man’s rant as he went off about the new guards. It seemed the shop had a deal to supply belts, straps, and harnesses to the local guard and the new people had been very rough on their equipment. I shared a glance with Lea, who rolled her eyes and shrugged her shoulders.

…anyway, that's not important,” he finally finished. “By Miira’s grace, everything worked out well in the end. Still, you should be careful. Leana told us that it was some of her classmates that attacked her, and nobles don’t take insults well. You may have beaten them when taken by surprise, but they may go after you further in the future. Leana here is good friends with the heiress Earthshadow. I’m sure she can find you a position–”

“I’ll be fine,” I said sharply. “I won’t be suborning myself to some noble Name just in case some insects can’t take a hint. It’s Lea I’m worried about.”

“I can take care of myself–” I turned to stare at her and she fell silent.

“Don’t go dismissing things so hastily,” Erwin jumped in, setting his mug down on the table with a loud thud. “The Earthshadows are a powerful family, working for them–”

“I’m not interested.” I said simply. “If they try something, they’ll regret it. Still,” I turned back to Lea, “Earthshadow is that girl that was at the healer with us, right? Adonia I think?” Lea nodded. “What’s up between the two of you?”

Lea frowned, a complicated look on her face and looked away. “I don’t know,” she whispered after a moment. “We’ve been friends for a few years, and…”

“It looked like a bit more than that to me.”

“Well, yes. You… you heard what they called me? When they…”

“I understand. So, something happened? She wasn’t very coherent when she introduced herself.”

“You could say that. She… she…” and then it burst out, all at once. “She got engaged! Without telling me! To some stupid old noble I’ve never even heard of.” She let out a loud sob and continued. “She said she could keep me around, that he would let her keep me around like some kind of animal, a pet to play with when she’s feeling horny! I thought she loved me, but she… and she… I… I thought we had something special and good and… and we didn’t care what other people would say but…”

She broke down into incoherent sobs and I shared an awkward look with the two men. Erwin shrugged and refilled her mug while I scooted my chair over beside her and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. She leaned against me desperately and snatched the handkerchief Erwin passed me out of my hands.

I was pretty sure that I could see what was happening here. I’d spent long enough around nobles to know that most of them considered marriage to be a mostly transactional exchange, as opposed to the bond of love I’d grown up hearing stories about. It seemed that Lea however hadn’t, so to her this felt like a horrible betrayal. I imagined she was comparing it to what had happened with Seatamer in her head, and that was only making things worse.

I wondered if Lea had ever told Adonia what had happened to her. I was starting to doubt it, else I was sure she would have handled the entire situation better. I didn’t doubt that Adonia cared about Lea, maybe even loved her, but she also clearly didn’t know her very well. Regardless, she would regret making my Lea cry.

I could hear the heartbreak in Lea’s voice when she’d spoken about her former girlfriend, and many of the pieces were finally coming together about what had happened. Lea and this Adonia girl had decided to date openly, or maybe their secret had come out at some point. This wasn’t a problem for a long time, what with Adonia’s name offering a lot of protection in this place, but then they’d had a falling out and the people that had been angered by their relationship had decided to lash out at a suddenly exposed target.

I personally had no problems with homosexuality, I didn’t much care about what anyone else was doing as long as it did not directly effect me or my people. Still, I knew that a lot of people did care, and care a lot about it. I wasn’t sure how the climate about it was in Xethis, but I had witnessed a male couple get stoned to death in Armouth, the guards activily helping the mob torture their targets. Clearly it wasn’t that bad, or their relationship would have never progressed as far as it had, but it couldn’t be particularly good either.

Leaning over, I quietly whispered in Lea’s ear. “If anyone tries to mess with you because of who you love, and I do mean anyone, tell me and I’ll deal with it.” Even if I couldn’t manage it myself, I would not let my Lea get trod on by anyone. The only person allowed to hurt what was mine was me. It would cost me, but I was sure I could convince Liam to lend me a hand. If not him… perhaps a fresh elf could convince Professor Igor to harvest his next batch of bodies somewhere specific. I doubted there was anyone in these islands who could pose a credible threat to that particular monster.

Lea turned to look at me, staring into my face searchingly. “How can you be so confident?” she asked quietly. “You’re… you haven’t said anything, but I can tell. You’ve been alone for a long time. How can you be so strong and confident and… You crushed them. I couldn’t see much of it, but there were six of them and they didn’t have a chance.”

“I did what I had to,” I said after a moment. “I practiced and trained and begged and fought. I only did what I had to do, and I’m just glad that this time, it was enough.”

She buried her face in my chest again and we sat in silence for a time. I noticed that the two uncles had cleared out of the room at some point and I was grateful for it. I felt awkward enough sharing when it was just my Lea, much less around two crazy virtual-strangers.

“Can you show me?” she finally asked. “You’re my age, but you feel like one of the apprentices. Stronger even, like a bright beacon.”

“Of course.” I was slightly surprised she could sense that much, maybe her skills were less lacking than I’d thought, but I could spend some time testing her later. If nothing else, I would need to set up a proper practice regimen for her, something like what I’d designed for Janna but more general. “Still, another night I think. I’m a little sore from a fight.”

A worried look flashed across her face. “Are you okay? Did one of them manage to hurt you?”

“One of– What? Oh! No. Not them. That… wasn’t much of a fight. I, ah, had a bit of a disagreement with an… associate. Don’t worry about it.”