When I Opened My Eyes I Was a Superstar

“Uh, Do Wook. Is something wrong?”

“No.”

Under Do Wook’s eyes, dark circles were slightly visible.

“I have something to tell you after we’re done with today’s shoot. Do you…have time to grab a meal?”

“If it’s grabbing a meal with you, I’ll welcome it anytime. I think it’ll be about 8 pm once we’re done shooting the classroom scene…”

“Ok. That works. And if you’re available too, Hyo Won…”

The face of Park Hyo Won, who approached them, was a mess with bloody scabs and bruises.

He got special effect makeup done so he could show a Hyo Won who had gotten beat up by Jung Hwan. The next scene was Jung Hwan indiscriminately assaulting Park Hyo Won again with special effect makeup on.

Park Hyo Won was also more on edge than he was before the shoot. Anxious vibes were oozing out of him.

Honestly, among sensitive actors there were actors who, except for saying a few words while filming, would just sit in their chair and not say a single word from the start to the end of filming.

Thankfully Park Hyo Won was not that kind of actor. He was able to differentiate well between on and off the set.

“I thought you weren’t going to invite me, so I was going to feel fucking hurt.”

Director Yoon Sung Ah and Do Wook laughed at what Park Hyo Won said. Director Yoon Sung Ah then asked Do Wook,

“By the way, have you not been getting good sleep lately?”

“Huh? Ahh…a little.”

“Could it be insomnia?”

“No. It’s not to that extent. It’s just that I’ve had a lot on my mind. I’m actually getting much more sleep than I do during active periods.”

“Really? Gee, just how sleep deprived are idols during active times if you’re getting less sleep than now?”

Director Yoon Sung Ah asked, a little surprised by Do Wook’s answer. Park Hyo Won said as he took out cigarettes from his pocket and lit one of them,

“I guess there really isn’t a single job that’s easy money. Sh*t.”

“Give me a light too, please.”

Director Yoon Sung Ah also took out a cigarette. Park Hyo Won lit the cigarette for her.

“Let’s smoke just one cigarette, then immediately go into filming.”

Do Wook nodded his head. Do Wook didn’t smoke so he left the area, went to where his chair was, and waited there.

< Actor Kang Do Wook >

Do Wook’s name was engraved on the back of his seat.

Names of the main staff and actors were engraved on the waiting chairs. There were those among filmmakers whose wish was to have chairs on set with their names engraved like that.

Do Wook sat in the seat and thought about the next scene.

Even Do Wook himself had felt that something had changed recently. It was the same reason he hadn’t been sleeping well.

When he first decided on < Blue Whale >, Do Wook predicted that ‘violence victim Kim Bo Myung’, who was deeply rooted in him, would be triggered while filming.

However, he tried to completely escape from the shadow of Kim Bo Myung through provocation instead. It was because many aspects, including his timid personality, were fixed and overcome by living as a Kang Do Wook, but the depression deep inside remained.

He thought it was rather fortunate that he had the role of the perpetrator. It was because he thought it was better than playing the victim.

‘If I play the victim, I’ll have to recreate my past self exactly as I was…It’ll only make me miserable, it won’t be much help. It’ll directly bring up the trauma…still, it was a complacent thought.’

The hot wind made his hair messy. Do Wook pushed aside his bangs.

In order to look like a high school student, he grew his bangs and made them come down close to his eyebrows. It was a different vibe compared to when he put his hair completely back and was trying to exude masculinity on stage.

A loose, unbuttoned school uniform shirt without a tie. Do Wook looked perfectly like a wandering eighteen-year-old right now.

‘Did I also have this kind of violent side..’

He cursed and spat at actors who played passers-by, and kicked Hyo Won, who was his friend. He was acting, but he didn’t feel like he was acting.

Do Wook’s acting was the type to become perfectly immersed in the role. It was useless to keep telling himself that it was just acting.

He was just surprised and terrified that he also had a violent side like this.

‘It feels like I’ve become someone like Seo Kang Jun.’

That was making Do Wook suffer. Kim Bo Myung was harassed simply because he was weak. He started thinking that if he were strong and from a good background like Seo Kang Jun, he also might have been a perpetrator alongside Seo Kang Jun.

“Ok, we’ll start shooting the next scene!”

Director Jo yelled. The actors and staff who had been waiting gathered in groups of twos and threes.

Do Wook also got up from his seat.

***

Director Yoon Sung Ah and Park Hyo Won, as well as Do Wook, went to eat at a shabby meat restaurant near the filming location.

“Ma’am! Can we have 3 servings of pork belly, 3 bowls of rice, and…alcohol…soju? Do you drink soju?”

Director Yoon Sung Ah, who had stepped up and was ordering, asked. Park Hyo Won nodded as if it were a given. Park Hyo Won could easily drink five bottles of soju.

“Do Wook, do you drink?”

“Ah…yes, I do. I can’t drink too much, just one or two shots,”

Do Wook replied. As if saying she understood, Director Yoon Sung Ah ordered two extra bottles of soju.

The only drinking events Do Wook had been a part of was after he had turned of legal age and drank beer with the members when they ate chicken at the dormitory or one or two shots at a company dinner.

It was his first time drinking outside like this.

It would not be good for one’s image to actively seek out alcohol, but for future social life, it would be good to learn to drink and get along in this kind of setting.

Along with a sizzling sound, the meat began to cook. Do Wook, as the youngest, was grilling the meat on his own. They had already finished one batch.

Do Wook drank about half a bottle, but there were three empty bottles of soju on the table. All three of them were moderately drunk.

“Hmmm, I don’t know if it’s ok to let a top star keep grilling the meat like this,”

Director Yoon Sung Ah joked.

“Director Yoon. Don’t you remember you caused that top star to get hurt?”

Park Hyo Won picked on Director Yoon Sung Ah. The gazes of both Director Yoon Sung Ah and Park Hyo Won were simultaneously on Do Wook’s cheek.

While filming the scene of throwing a chair on set earlier, Do Wook was scratched by a broken locker fragment and a scar formed on his cheek.

“It’s ok. It’s just a slight scratch,”

Do Wook replied awkwardly.

“You’ll have to take good care of it so it won’t leave a scar. You’re such a gentle person, but as soon as we’re filming you suddenly change…”

When Director Yoon Sung Ah said that, Do Wook put down the tongs and became quiet.

“Who knows, that might be who I’ve always been,”

Do Wook said. Director Yoon Sung Ah and Park Hyo Won briefly looked at Do Wook. Director Yoon Sung Ah shook her head.

“It’s true that you’re doing such a good job acting that it might make one think you’ve always been that kind of person. True, true.”

Director Yoon Sung Ah said it like a joke, but Do Wook’s expression became even more dark. Seeing Do Wook do that, Director Yoon Sung Ah poured soju into his own glass*.

(TL note: In Korean culture, the younger person should be pouring the drink for the older person.)

“Ah, let me…!”

“No. It’s ok. It’s more comfortable pouring my own drink. But do you know?”

“Sorry? Know what…”

“People who are genuinely like that can’t do this role.”

Director Yoon Sung Ah said, full of confidence. Park Hyo Won also nodded his head and added,

“That’s right. Those bastards really can’t act when in those roles, because it weighs on their conscience. Because people might see their true colors. Because it’s real.”

“Exactly! That’s precisely what I mean. You give a gangster role to someone who’s really a bad person? Then they’re just a gangster. It’s not method acting or anything. It’s just them being a gangster. They themselves know that too. That’s why they can’t do those roles. They just end up clumsily imitating it. But look at how you are now, Do Wook. You completely became Jung Hwan.”

“Ahhh.”

Do Wook slowly nodded his head, feeling like he understood what they meant.

“Having these kinds of worries is also because you’re kind, Do Wook.”

Director Yoon Sung Ah said as she chugged soju. Park Hyo Won said with a rough-looking expression,

“I’m saying it’s ok to become immersed or think that that’s the real you. Still, an actor is just an actor. You’re too convinced that it’s actually you. The reason might be because you learned acting while playing a role similar to yourself.”

Do Wook looked blankly at Park Hyo Won. It somehow felt like he was burning up.

Come to think of it, when Kim Bo Myung first became Kang Do Wook, Do Wook had to play a character named Kang Do Wook. However, that acting wasn’t a big deal. He just had to act like the person he wanted to be.

This time, however, it was the opposite.

The person you never wanted to be like. The person you never wanted to mirror.

He had to mirror someone who was the same as Seo Kang Jun. That was where his struggle was.

“Immersing and burying are different. You can’t become consumed by the role and lose yourself.”

At Park Hyo Won’s words, Do Wook felt like he had been hit in the back of the head. The tangled bundle of threads in his mind was rolling and rolling, turning into a long, sturdy thread.

“Ah, shiii–. I’m being such a boomer right now! I’m gonna go smoke a cigarette, I’ll be back.”

Park Hyo Won sprang up and headed out of the barbecue restaurant.

Do Wook’s expression turned into a peaceful one as he watched Park Hyo Won. Director Yoon Sung Ah held up her drink and gave a toast to Do Wook.

“That punk Hyo Won must really think positively of you, Do Wook. He’s not the kind of guy who says that kind of stuff.”

Do Wook gave a small smile.

“By the way, you had said you had something to tell me…we should be talking about that, but we got sidetracked by other topics.”

“Ah, it’s just that my company…”

“You’re not going to say to shorten the filming schedule even more, right?!”

Director Yoon Sung Ah asked, surprised. Do Wook quickly waved his hands and denied it.

“No. It’s not that. My company said they want to invest in the movie.”

“What?”

The movie shoot was now almost halfway done. The movie started with a certain amount of capital invested so there were no big problems with filming.

Even so, receiving additional investment would definitely be of great help for the latter part of the work, including editing and marketing. For Director Yoon Sung Ah, this was undoubtedly good news.

“Invest, huh…”

It was Director of Production Kwon Heung Jo who wanted to invest.

After Do Wook had said he would appear in an art film, Director Kwon Heung Jo personally read over the screenplay even though he was busy, and seeked out people in the movie field to ask their opinion on the movie.

Director Kwon Heung Jo, who ultimately received positive answers, decided to invest in the movie Do Wook was in after consulting with Department Head Jo Anna.

Originally, HIT Entertainment had big dreams to expand its business scope. With the attraction of Chinese capital and the success of KK, HIT Entertainment was closer to its dream.

It was a good investment that came at the right time. Since it was an art film, the investment amount was not large, so the burden was low. Of course, even if it was not as successful as commercial films, there were many ways to make money through art films.

Director Kwon Heung Jo calculated that since it was a movie involving their company’s main entertainer, Do Wook, they would be able to find investors one way or another using his promotional power.

“Do Wook…”

“Yes?”

“Thanks to you, I have the confidence that we’ll be able to produce a greater result than I imagined,”

Director Yoon Sung Ah said.

“I was worried, but if I receive an investment from HIT Entertainment, I think I’ll be able to do an exhibition.”

“By exhibition you mean…”

“I’m talking about the International Film Festival.”

***

A few months later, the day of the < Blue Whale > preview party.

It was also the day of the first broadcast of the drama < Cinderella >, starring Seo Kang Jun, as well as a press conference.

In the morning, Do Wook, who was getting his hair done at the shop to go to the premiere of < Blue Whale >, could hear the gathered shop people chatting excitedly.

“What? Admission fraud?”

“Hurr. I read the comments and they all say it’s Seo Jun. Seo Jun’s the only one that fits the description. Isn’t today the air date of that one drama Seo Jun is in?”

“What the, is this true? Seo Jun?”

< Ju Won University Admission Corruption, Involves Famous Idol Group Member Mr. S >

< Ju Won University Department of Arts Illegal Admission ... Under Investigation by Prosecutor >

It was the headline of the article that was posted this morning.

—

Next chapter: IS THIS FINALLY THE BEGINNING OF THE END FOR SEO JUN?? YES WRITING IN ALL CAPS IS WARRENTED HERE!!