Why are you special?

Somewhere along the way, Carter and Paul lost their pants, too.  They’ve still got their shoes, and their packs, but they’re completely naked otherwise.  Hugely so.  And they’re still laughing and joking at each other.  Also staring.  A lot.  And… huh, they’re starting to get wet between their legs.  Right… because they’re both still attracted to women, and right now each is seeing an extremely exaggerated naked woman, who seems interested.  That’s… probably going to get loud tonight, isn’t it?

As we walk, eventually Wally asks across the link, 《How is this still working?》

Without showing anything visibly… not that Carter and Paul have eyes for anything beyond each other right now… and quite frankly, I barely do either… I reply the same way, 《It’s an indirect part of my blessing from The Harvester of Souls.  I make my own magic for myself and my items, and can cast freely despite the Dungeon being down.》

Wally pauses for a moment, then keeps coming… Paul and Carter don’t seem to notice. 《So… what kinds of spells can you cast?  Could you get us horses?》

Oh… Paul and Carter are drifting quite close to each other.  Huh.  《Lots of them.  Yes, I can do Druidic spells.  I can also do Wizardly spells, and even Priestly spells.  Paul can get a few I can’t manage yet, but… yeah.  My blessing is REALLY good.  So… I COULD get us horses, but The Blessed Mother wants me dead, but can’t refer to me directly, and I’d prefer to limit her intelligence gathering… which means not letting Paul and Carter know I can still cast right now, not letting the various type-exclusive spells show, and so on.  Better they think I’m a weird Druid from another land.》

Wally replies along the link, 《That makes sense, I guess… walking in the desert sucks, though.》

And… now Carter and Paul are holding each others’ backsides.  They’re not going to make it to tonight, are they? 《Well… they may notice their fast healing from me is still active if they get injured… I should probably dismiss that, but I’d need to touch them to do it, and I’m not sure how to go about doing that without them noticing.》

Wally mentally laughs at me, 《You’re kidding, right?  They like women, a lot.  Spin a yarn about how it was an accident that you turned them into women and is there any way you could make it up to them, and they’ll cheerfully suggest you join them in bed.  We may want to set up the tents now anyway to avoid the heat of the day… well, depending on how far you’re willing to go with the deception.  I mean… you seemed to like me while I was still… umm…》

Well…《More a question of which deception I want to reinforce… I was a man before all this started, I like women fine.  When it comes to ‘bedroom activities’ I prefer women, even, and have never been with a man.  It’s a ‘curse’ on me from The Blessed Mother that infected you, Paul, and Carter when I brought you all back.  It’s expected she’ll drop it off of Paul and Carter when asked nicely as part of getting them their human forms back, but in your case…》Speaking of Paul and Carter… I think they’re fingering each other, now?  Yep.  Slowly at the moment, just lightly exploring…

《... I’m one of the Harvester’s, so she doesn’t like me, and will leave it.  Of course.  And of course, it’s probably not something the others can handle.》

《Exactly.  It’s hers. They can’t touch it, in the same way the Harvester can’t clean it off of me.  And as for the other deception… well, The Blessed Mother let slip that she’s planning on going after women who like women in bed, and gave me this particular curse so that I’d get swept up in it.  Because she’s not permitted to specifically send her champion after me.》... and now Paul and Carter are thrusting into each other with their hands.  Slowly, but that’s not going to keep going for long, I expect.

I get the impression Wally’s blinking,《So… she’s setting up a purge, just to get you, to spite her brother?  That’s messed up.  What if… what if it’s not Carter that uses the scrolls?》

That seems… hmm…《Then they get returned to their human forms, but it’s not The Blessed Mother that they’re asking, so they stay women. How does that help, exactly?》And I’m starting to hear squelching noises.

Wally chuckles across the link, 《Then when the order comes down from The Blessed Mother to properly crack down, she’s going to have a problem when she issues it to those two, isn’t she?》

That’s… 《I’ll want to double-check a few of those details with The Harvester but… that means I’d have comrades in arms against the crackdown… you’re devious, you know that?  But yeah, I suppose I may as well go with that plan….》 “How does everyone feel about setting up the tents now, and traveling at night once it cools down, so we’re not walking without magic in the desert sun all day?”

Wally closes with,《Thank you,》 and adds verbally, “Sounds like a plan to me.”

Paul comments, “... mhm… yes, definitely,” and reluctantly pulls a very wet finger out of Carter, as Carter pulls a very wet finger out of Paul.  The two of them very quickly pull a tent out of Paul’s backpack - apparently it’s not a Haversack.

And as they’re setting it up, I walk over, “So… I am SO sorry that my spell turned you into women!  I did not mean for that to happen!  How can I make it up to you?” I lean into Display of Charisma to help Bluff carry the day.

Paul laughs, “What, these?” and slaps his titanic ta-ta’s, causing waves to pass through them like jello, “Stuff happens in the dungeon, we’ll get it all sorted when we get back to town.  It’s not really any different than if some beast applies a curse.  We clean it up in the dungeon if we can, work with it while we need to if we can’t, and clean it up back at the guild if nothing else.  Standard fare, it’s fine.”

“I still feel bad about it…” Surprising that Paul isn’t game… but then, it’s pretty clear he’s planning on hooking up with Carter as it is, so…

Carter unknowingly steps in to salvage my not-so-well-thought-out plan, “Well… there is one thing that confirms manliness more than anything else….”

I have a pretty good idea what he’s going to say, but it plays better if he suggests it, “And what’s that?”

Paul sees where this is going, “Bedding a beautiful woman.”

Now, I need to put up enough resistance that they continue to think I’m straight, but still agree to it… delicate balance, that… “But… I’ve never been with a woman before…” which is true in this body - I haven’t been with anyone in that sense since I stepped in front of that truck.

Carter leans in a bit, “Ah, but we’re not women!  We’re men who are stuck in women’s bodies due to dungeon delving deeds.  And you do owe us….”

Ah, the logic I want.  Go Bluff! “Well… all right… let’s set up the tent and see how this works….”

They finish putting the tent up in what I’m sure is record time, and they roll out their bedrolls, dropping winter blankets on the floor of the tent. And I realize I’ve miscalculated… I’m still wearing an illusion, and would rather they not know that (especially with magic out!).    Easy fix, though… my casting isn’t identifiable, and is natively a swift action, so a quick Ghost Sound draws their eyes long enough for me to duck behind the tent and dismiss the illusion there.

“OK, so… how do I do this, boys?” They’re the ‘guys’ in this scenario, so they need to take the lead….

Carter and Paul look at each other, and Carter speaks up, “Just lay back, and let us do the work… close your eyes and picture us as we were and will be, if that helps….”

Eh… sure… I don’t need much contact to cancel the spells… I lay down and close my eyes…

I cancel Paul’s Celestial Healing spell as he works his way up my leg, a tingling sensation spreading through my skin as his hands caress me, his way to big chest rubbing on my feet as his mouth approaches my lower tunnel.  I cancel Carter’s Greater Celestial Healing spell as he rolls my left milk maker between his dainty little hands, and starts sucking on my tap. So… nominally I’m done at this point, and I probably could end this… but oh, I’ve got such a nice shiver running up my spine… I’m feeling a warm sensation in my middle as Paul places his mouth on my love tunnel, and starts lapping up the nectar from my flower.  Everyone needs water in the desert, right?  Hmm… may as well give it to him… I’m feeling a heat that has nothing to do with the desert as Carter pulls away from my chest and sits down on my face… I pop my eyes open and see his petals are spread, and take the hint, sticking my tongue in and slowly tracing around his opening.  

Paul pulls away from my nethers and I’m left feeling unsatisfied… but only momentarily, as he soon lifts my leg and slides himself in, pressing his flower against my petals and starting to buck and grind.  I hear kissing noises… really, Carter’s going for it with that face on Paul?  Eh, whatever… we keep at this position, the heat in our bodies building, and building, and building… and soon enough, my tongue’s ministrations are rewarded with a shudder from Carter, and I have my own earthquake that leaves me breathless… which is fine, as I don’t need to breath anyway.  Paul seems to get his as well, shuddering shortly after I do. Paul and Carter roll off me and lay down… the tent is quite crowded with three people, but you know what?  That’s OK.  I’m not tired, so I shrug, and say, “I’ll take the first watch…” and get up out of the tent, closing it behind me.

Wally greets me, “So how was it?”

I consider, 《Not the reason I was hoping for with my first, but,》”It felt wonderful, honestly.” I renew my clothing illusion, 《But… I don’t think I’m going to be able to go through with the other bit.  While OK, Paul probably deserves to be forced to deal with his new form for a long, long time… Carter isn’t quite so much of a smeghead, and he’d get caught up in it.  Plus… probably not a great idea to knowingly cause issues for folks who I may need to depend on to save my life later, you know?》

Wally nods, “Good to know it’s enjoyable, at least,” 《That’s… probably for the best.  Well... if you’re going to take watch, I suppose I’m turning in.…》and Wally sets up his tent while I keep watch.

Of course, I don’t need sleep at all, and I’ll have several hours to myself… may as well start in with the self-buffs I can do now.  Pathfinder’s version of Invisible Spell is a one level metamagic adjustment, I’ll want to apply it to everything, and at caster level thirteen for ‘known’ spells to be able to metamagic them up, I’ll be able to pretend at 7th level slots, so sixth level and lower spells… time to get cracking….