Why are you special?

Wendy looks at me like I'm crazy, "He killed you once already."

I look back at her, "And I have reason to believe he knows it didn't take, so he’s going to try again. I'm hoping I can talk him out of it.  Failing that… well, I can act in self-defense."

Christine frowns at me, "You’re talking about killing a Prophet."

"One that struck first - successfully, I might add - with no attempt at parley. And even at that I'm going to start by asking him nicely. Am I not allowed to ask about my supposed crimes or attempt to defend myself?" I look at Christine incredulously.

"You are, but…" Christine seems at a loss for words.

Paula’s not, though, "... but you are speaking of it so casually. He is a Prophet. A messenger of the lords of creation. He's sent by the beings tasked by the Supreme to tend to the universe. Whichever one sent him must have had a very good reason."

They know about Death’s Dad, huh? And it's a long running grudge, actually, but I'm not going to say that, "... but the accused should at least be informed of their crimes, and have an opportunity to argue their case. What justice is there when people are arbitrarily executed?"

Wendy looks at me funny as Paula responds, "Such a wonderful place you must come from, that you treat your ideals as practical. The kings of this land often kill on accusation to keep the populace pacified, and what judgment can there be when the condemned can tamper with minds? It is ugly, yes, but we don't have better options."

Great. So I'm on the receiving end of 'the needs of the many' in his eyes. "Hmm. Well, I’m still not going to just lay down and die. And as I said: I'll start with talking."

Wendy pipes up, "And how do you plan to do so?"

That's a good question. Spamming Sending would work, but would tip him off that I can.  Maybe Eye of Power? It's an area-based Scrying spell - so no save - and lets me channel spells of 3rd and lower, like Major Image, which I can then use to speak. 9th level, but I can manage those with a little warm up.

"Mostly safely, with a bit of ritual. I can drop a channel for communication at quite some distance, although it takes a bit of setup. I can set up a relay … heh. He animated my corpse. I can use that more easily."

A humanoid zombie's will save is trash, so even with the save boost it gets because I have only heard of the creature, it'll still need a twenty vs. Greater Scrying… and Greater Scrying will pass a Message spell reliably. Nothing he doesn't understand. And I bypass immunities, so even if he happens to be Mind Blanked, I’ll see him.  Perfect.
So I cast… and the spell fizzles.  Great… it must have rolled a natural twenty.  Which means I can try again in 24 hours… or just go with a variation of my original plan.  “Ah, pity.  Zombie managed to resist… oh well, ritual it is.”

I summon some Lillend Azatas, use Cabal Master to set them all up with the Circle Casting feat via the Enhancement sphere, and have them boost my caster level so I can manage ninth level spells - I do want some show of power with this, and a ninth level spell effect will keep him guessing as to how strong I am - and then use that for Summon Monster IX and a Trumpet Archon.  As the spell is cast, an emerald-skinned humanoid with pointy ears and large white feathered wings appears, holding a brass trumpet in her hand.  

Oh, wait, I want to go with a druid theme.  I dismiss the creature, and Summon a massive mass of roiling air: An elder Air elemental. I Greater Teleport with it to where I was beheaded, cast Greater Scrying, Chain of Eyes, and Telepathic Bond on the summon. I then Greater Teleport back (taking a detour through solid ground, which is valid for me due to a burrow speed), and cast Sending, targeting Life’s Champion… whom I've met, even if I don't have his actual name, "Hello, I'd like to talk. I left an air elemental relay where you beheaded me so we can do so. Talk to you soon."

I do get a response back, "What’s to discuss? The Blessed Mother has decreed you must die. Anything you invite me to is a trap."

I take ten minutes to breathe, so he doesn't know I can easily bypass the casting time, formulate a reply, and then use Sending again: "Would it work on you? Do you have better leads on my location?"

"Fine. I'll speak to your proxy momentarily."

Watching through the elemental's eyes, I wait, and after a few minutes, Life’s flunky walks into the clearing. He is as I saw him last: White hair, and wears black robes with a matching cloak. He has a bow and quiver on his back, two shortswords at his belt, and a few pouches as well. He wears lenses over his eyes, has a headband and hat both, gloves… oh, and ioun stones orbit his head. All item slots I can see are filled, and radiate magic. What little skin shows is light enough in color that "white" actually applies.

I mentally order the elemental to stand still and do nothing while I channel a Message spell through the Greater Scrying, targeting by way of the Air elemental's sight, and focusing on the Diplomacy skill, which isn't an opposed check: Divine Providence, Display of Charisma, and buffs… I should be getting some good numbers here as I whisper across the link, "Good of you to come. We've never been formally introduced. I was going by Dolly when we last met. What should I call you?"

"Well JIMMY," seems Life communicated my original name. Interesting… "it doesn't much matter what you call me, but I will be your death, so you may call me Bane."

Still trying to be diplomatic, I continue, "Bane, huh? I suppose it fits. I've regularly been referring to you in my head as Life’s Champion. I understand you do a lot of work for her, and that's made you unpopular with some of the other deities."

He seems to be relaxing… but he'd win any opposed skill check, so if he's trying to bluff, I'd never know. I cannot trust here, "Ugh, you don't know the half of it. I'm dealing with at least six divine curses," He doesn't know exactly? Interesting, is Life keeping him in the dark? "Quite frankly, the Devourerer's is the least of them. I can never get it on with a real woman, all food tastes like dirt, I'm plauged with nightmares, I can't get drunk or drugged up to ease my sorrows, and on and on. Feh. All the so-called 'gods' can go rot in the Abyss."

Just a little venom there, "Including the blessed mother?"

Bane shouts back through the link, "ESPECIALLY her. She's the one that got me into this mess. Oh yes, I win at everything like I have since my youth," noting that to dwell on later, "but to keep on living I have to be her 'Champion' - enforcer is more like. She has me bloody murder anyone or anything that gets in her way. If I stop, she'll revoke my status and I'll crumble to dust. Got me over a right barrel she does."

I'll need to confirm that with Death, but if that's the only problem, there's a simple fix, "If I could remove that threat, would you stop hunting me?"

"Hey, if you can get me free of that … 'blessed mother' without getting me killed? I will cheerfully rip her church apart. I hate being her thug."

"OK. I'l check into it. Aging I can fix, if you don't mind being beholden to carry a trinket the rest of your days, but there's a few details on your situation I need to confirm." The spell is Kissed by the Ages, from Dragon Magazine. Disenchants a small magic item, ties it to the subject, and grants the subject Instant agelessness for as long as it's carried (and does NOT have any drawback for losing it other than "resumes aging normally" - which stops once the item is recovered). 9th, but I can get those. I'll need to have a chat with Death on how a man can get out of that scenario, though.

"I'm still going to hunt you until I get paid." Ugh, this guy is awful.

"Yeah, well… it is what it is. For now… I'll leave this relay here. Send me if you want to chat, I can set it back up." Please don't, though.

"Catch you soon, prey." This guy is really rough. Did he dump Charisma, or does he just really want to Intimidate me? Well, good luck with that. Fear Immunity over here.

"Be seeing you." I cut the link, and focus on my party mates.

Paula is staring at me from very close up as I open my eyes, giving me a marvelous view of the plate armor on her chest, "So how'd it go?"

I consider, "Depends on how truthful he was being: I can't tell if he's lying just by his words. But if he's honest… I may have a route to end this without killing," I will need to check with Death, though, so it’s not going to be without him, "... and some things I can check.  But I'll want some space to do so. So back in a bit."

I cast a quick Fairy Ring Retreat, and step in for a dialog with Death….