Why are you special?

Oookay… breathe… it’s not helping… right, because I don't use air anymore. "Hey Death? Little help?"

"Hold a moment…" since when did the itch get comforting? How is it comforting that an alien entity I barely know can rifle through my head whenever he wants? "I'm limited to advice based on what you already know in this situation …first, you're going to have some explaining to do for Paul and Carter. But that can probably be put off for a bit. Second, if he's buffing up, he's not attacking you right now, so you have a minute to think. He has a 'buff list' powered by a huge number of Wishes - that's fine. Anything that he can do, you can do too, and he's not able to sabotage your 'rolls' anymore, nor can he ensure his own rolls will be perfect. And while he might find some exceptionally clever combo… you can bypass immunities, he probably can't for most. Add to that, you almost certainly have every buff spell he does, and more besides. Plus you still have all of those monster and random class abilities, plus the ability to 'roll a twenty' eleven times a round. So as long as you keep a good several of those in reserve - which I recommend - you will almost certainly live through this. And you have Contingencies and immediate action spells, and can do more of those than anyone expects. You'll do fine."

"Right… OK… so… saves are easier than DC, so I probably can't land anything much on him that way, and he probably has spell turning… ranged touch for continuous damage, maybe? He'll have to Wish it away, pretty much, and that will eat up his turn letting me simply replace it over and over… if I can land it, I can win. OK… so I have a strategy. Thank you." And I do mean that.

Death chuckles, "I didn't tell you anything you didn't already know. But you're welcome."

As I focus on reality, Paula seems angry - it looks more like a pout with her curse-warped face - and Christine concerned. Wendy is looking for an exit…

"Who. Is. Death?" Yeah, Paul's upset. And yes, I'm skipping the 'a' right now. Sure, he has titanic ta-ta’s and a ballooned backside, but the aggression he’s showing is all alpha male.

Yeah… no deception lasts forever… although Wendy's clearly good at it … and the panic attack really didn't help. Ah well, "The opposite end of the cycle of souls from your patron. Part of the same system set up by the Supreme. And a surprisingly nice guy."

Paul is having none of it, "He's 'The Scourge of Life’, ‘Lord of Darkness’, ‘Keeper of the Abyss’, ‘The Devourer’... and The Blessed Mother's mortal enemy! How could you work with him!?"

"He's also her brother. She feels betrayed because of events thousands of years ago that Death didn't order, and her lover and child ended up in the lower planes… because they sold their souls thinking they'd live forever and nobody would ever collect. And NOBODY lives forever." Hopefully that's the right argument.

"Everyone will once HE is gone!" Paul's… not far from drawing on me.

And now I'm practically quoting… "'Not dying' is not the same as 'living forever' - he collects the souls to end the pain of people otherwise trapped in bodies too broken to continue. If he's not around to do the job that the Supreme gave him, then everyone stays trapped in broken bodies when their time is up. And The Blessed Mother doesn't make the souls - she places them. If none are harvested, then eventually, there are none left to place, and the cycle of souls will stop. And she feeds on the existence of the cycle. If it stops, then, eventually, so does she. Knowingly or not, your patron is orchestrating her own suicide in a way that will take everyone and everything down with her." Although I've already fixed that… probably. Maybe. He didn't actually say it worked, now that I think about it… just that he was feeling better….

"YOU LIE!" Paul draws his Greatsword and starts to charge… but I’m faster. And I can do more. Sonorous Hum so I don't need to focus on Gate, Spell Enhancer so I can cast Gate, Gate to open a golden hoop behind him from here to the last town we were in - specifically the guild practice hall - Telekinesis for a Bull Rush to push him through, and then I dismiss the Sonorous Hum and with it the Gate to strand him there. And I still have a few spare actions if needed. Yeah, I do some serious action economy abuse.

Yes, he's trying to kill me. But he's just a bit hot under the collar. He'll cool off… probably. If not… well, he's still not an immediate problem now.

Christine blinks, "Ah… what just happened?"

I sigh, "Paul didn't like my answer, and drew on me. I didn’t want to hurt him or mind control him, so I sent him back to the guildhall. He's fine. I can send you to join him if you'd like; it'll be safer than sticking around here."

Christine thinks for a bit, “Yes… he’s going to need me to talk him down. You ARE correct, but The Blessed Mother has been… shall we say ‘de-emphasizing’ her relationship with her brother and the importance of his work for quite some time. Paula hasn’t delved deeply enough into the scriptures to sort out the truth of it."

I nod, "OK then. I'll plan to meet up with you at the guildhall once we're done here. See you hopefully soon."

Christine nods, "Sounds good." I hit her with a Greater Plane Shift (cleric-7, from Spell Compendium: It's like the normal Plane Shift, but if you've been there, you can precisely target a location rather than arriving five to five hundred miles off target from wherever you picked). She vanishes.

Wendy looks at me, "Is that really wise?"

I shrug, "Maybe not, but… what was I going to do? Kill him? Let him attack me? Mind control him? Dropping him off in a relatively safe location seemed like the best of a bad lot, and I didn't exactly have much time to pick."

Wendy considers, "I get it, I suppose. But she is going to be even more upset about you brushing her off like that, and… Christine usually ends up following Paula’s lead. You've put it off, yes, but it'll likely be worse later."

"Yes… well, slim pickings. Regardless… strategy… he's going to be buffed nearly as heavily as we are. Scrying showed me he's going through Wishes like they're water, and spells don't expire here. So he’s going to have basically every enhancement spell he can think of, and they'll all be in full effect. What would you suggest?" I'm curious what he'll say.

"Then one of us should exhaust his Spell Turning on something mostly harmless and follow up with targeted dispels, while the other keeps him busy in melee. Or…" he looks at the two Adamantine golems.

Right, minions. "I may as well boost those into a useful state. Then they can mix it up in melee while we both zap away at him." And my Dispel will probably do better, boosted by Divine Providence.

Wendy nods, "We have a plan then…."

I spend a few minutes buffing up the two Adamantine Golems. Shared Training lets me give them Bonded Mind, which lets me order them silently and securely as well as being the hook needed for Share Spells. I make sure to buff them fully, including making a Spiked Chain for each, and granting them the appropriate combat feats via Heroics to make use of them.

Of course, I don't know exactly what's coming… or when, or how hard. I can be confident he'll have high numbers… I can ignore his immunities… but he may already know that. It'll be annoying if he doesn't show directly at all…

Speaking of… I also drop Superior Invisibility on both myself and Wendy, and Veil on the two golems. One Step Beyond will stop True Seeing, and they… might soak hits meant for us.

And just in time, too… because the monsters suddenly start pouring in through the doors: Giant winged lizards in Black, Blue, Green, red and white - Chromatic dragons of each color, just at the limits of what can fit through the doors; Moving statues made of stone, iron, clay, coral, brass, crystal, lead, and sand - Golems, magic-immune constructs, not that it’ll stop me; unnatural beasts that radiate evil - demons, devils, and daemons; oversized lions, tigers, apes, and even badgers with particularly vicious looks to them - Dire animals; and on an on. A flood of monsters of all kinds. But I don’t wonder where he got them, nor why they’re working for him. My very high Perception score tells me quite easily what they really are: Simulacra, from the spell, Simulacrum. It creates a partially-real copy of a creature… only half as strong as the real thing, and somewhat expensive to make, but it’s easily within the range of Wish. Seems odd, though… I saw him buffing up, not making minions… so where did these come from? I’m going to need to sort that out…

Once I’ve cleaned out all of these ones.