Why are you special?

080: Loosing Lightning Lass



So… Winnifred the Wizard probably can hurt me. Badly. Which means I need to not be there to get hit when I let her loose.  So…. have a summon, or maybe a Time Clone do it, and speak through a Scrying sensor? That could work.

Time clone it is.

So I Greater Plane shift to my crafting plane, make a Time Clone, have it grab Winifred's gem, and Greater Plane Shift them both to the release dead magic plane I made for this. Then Greater Scrying on my copy, Message to speak, and we're in business. 

I have my copy shred the gem… and the first thing Winifred does is blast my clone with lightning. Which also ends the Scrying spell, as it was tied to the time clone.

Which is fine. I can scry on Winifred directly now.  One Fleeting Greater Scrying spell later, and I'm watching her.

She tries to cast Plane Shift… and of course, nothing happens.  She starts walking… and of course, goes nowhere.  After a while, she drops a copper coin, keeps walking… and yes, encounters it again.  She picks it up, and starts cursing. Not very ladylike.  And that's OK.

It's also my signal to start a conversation via the Message spell, “Hi Winifred. As I'm sure you figured out, you lost.” I could also just speak to her directly - that's the point of Prophets - bit I don't want to mix my divine and material identities.

“Oh, really?! Come in here and say that to my face!” She’s got fire, that's for sure.

“I'll wait until you're feeling a bit more tractable, I think.” I can be calm here.

“I don't bend you monster!” Yep, still fiery.

“It doesn't matter. I mean, you don't have any food or water beyond what you're carrying, and I get the impression you tend to either magically create things as you need them, or maybe carry them in Bags of Holding, Portable Holes, Handy Haversacks, and similar… and that demiplane isn't Timeless.  I may not be able to disarm you, but I can certainly outlast you.  Thirst is an awful way to go, though.  Or…” I leave it hanging. 

And yes, she bites, “Or what?”

“Or you could willingly accept the same terms of release I'm granting to all the soldiers I captured before I snagged you.” I might be feeling a little smug, but Bluff means it doesn't bleed into my voice. 

She rolls her eyes, “And those are?”

“Complete disarmament. You take off all your gear - everything, so I can be sure you're not hiding anything - and drop it in a pile. I'll provide you with the same kit I'm giving the rank and file: Some camping gear, some rations, thirty pieces of silver, the basic tools of a nonviolent trade, a shortbow, and some arrows. All mundane, of course...”

 “Of course,” Yes, I can see her rolling her eyes.

“... and then I'll drop you off in a major city of your choice. This is, of course, exile. You're not permitted anywhere near Brasilia without my invitation.” I conclude, as I make the gear for her.

I can see her hiding a smile. Bluff is not a class skill for her, and I don't think she has ranks in it. “Sure… I can agree to that. Alchemy, please, and I'll visit… Sentinel, I think. I like the desert.”

I nod and build the portable alchemy lab as she strips down and leaves her gear in a pile… and don't go myself. What she's planning is obvious, so one Time Clone later… huh… the clones aren't carrying, but have the baby bump? Weird... I load my copy up, and send her over….

“Hah!” Winifred screams out as she sends out a wave of lightning and blasts the copy into less than atoms… along with everything it was carrying

I'm fine, of course, as the copy wasn't me.

“A bold choice,” I inform Winifred, much to her dismay, as I use Wish's Transport Traveler's clause to send her to her chosen destination without coming anywhere near her, and continue my sentence after a new casting of Fleeting Greater Scrying and Message, “Because I only made the one set for you, which I did send your way. Enjoy having nothing in the desert. But hey, at least your magic works now, and it's a settlement. As long as you can get to your spellbook - I'm guessing you make use of the Secluded Grimoire spell just like everyone else? - you'll be fine.” As long as she doesn't get arrested. Which will be easy for her… and probably very hard on everyone else, because I dropped her off in a market square.

Air's prophet starts cursing up a storm, and I dismiss the Scrying spell. I'm sure it'll be fine. Air wouldn't let her prophet wipe out hundreds of mostly innocent civilians, right?

Right?

Regardless, I Greater Plane Shift over to my trap demiplane, and collect Winifred's gear, combine the pile with Roger's, and systemically identify everything. 

Most of the items are normal, although high end, magic items; a cubic gate, an efreeti bottle, a portable hole, bracers of armor (the type that grants eight points of armor bonus), Wings of Flying, and so on: Expensive, useful for most people, and pointless for me: Anything that duplicates a spell or increases numbers doesn't help anymore: My numbers are far beyond anything I'm going to face, and for practical purposes I already have all the spells - everything from the big lists, which (thanks to Wish and Miracle) also includes everything from the partial casters. And I can just make regular items without any hassle (and I've integrated most of those into Buttercup), so those aren't meaningful either. 

There is, however, one class of magic items that interests me: Artifacts. But even most of those are pointless for me.  Still. Winifred is going to hate having lost The Greatcube of Power - it is free metamagic eight times a day, some spell absorption, and can be treated as a spellbook with basically every spell, and I have no idea why Roger was carrying the Lens of Dimensional Shielding… maybe he was planning on having Winifred Planar Bind some outsider into it so he could use the creature's spell-like abilities?

Neither of them are particularly good for me… but the Cube will work wonders for Wanda, giving her access to her full class list of spells, and if I bind the right outside into the Lens, it will grant some fun toys to Alfred. So I drop everything but those two items off on my crafting plane - the dead magic trait there renders everything inert, and makes the place really hard to loot; a team of two people spending Wishes could do it: Person A wishes B to my plane, waits a while, and Wishes B back. In the interim, person B loots… but I keep my Time Clone Crafters there, and they do double duty as guards… and aren't bothered by the dead magic planar trait. Would-be raiders would be captured quickly. Even at that… I don't keep anything actually valuable there.

Well, nothing valuable to me, anyway; it's becoming quite the trove of stored magic items.

Speaking of… I get a report from my time clones: The rank and file soldiers had mostly mundane masterwork gear, now all safely tucked away. The sergeants, lieutenants, captains, and other officers generally had at least a few magic items as well.

The more magical creatures had nothing, but were all compelled by enchantment spells to obey.  My Time Clones, being copies of me, did what I would do: Free them. For the evil-aligned ones, otherwise treat them exactly like the soldiers. For the rest? The additional option of citizenship within my district. So most of the harpies and minotaurs we sent away - they have a natural inclination towards evil - but all told about a third of the ‘special forces’ were allowed and chose to stay.

Which is fine: I have the land, I can secure more, and folks who remember being rescued and treated kindly after abuse tend to be quite loyal.

Of course, I still need to deal with my ‘allies’. So I check in with David, 《So how's it going with our ‘Allies’?》

My friendly dragon CACKLES across the telepathic link, 《They're trying to seem like they're not terrified of you. They're failing, and miserably, but they're trying.》

I smile, 《So what are the odds that they'll accept the rules I'm going to lay out? I am going to need to positively choke the mining, refining, and smithing.》

David is still mentally laughing, 《You'll have no problems with this generation. There may be some chaffing from their kids, though - how do you feel about a repeat performance in twenty to forty years?》

Ugh. 《I'm hoping by then that the rules I'll put in place will be cemented well enough that they'll stick without me. But hey: I plan to leave you largely in charge. Do you think you can keep this place in line without rubbing my conscience the wrong way too much?》

David pauses a long time before responding, 《With your conscience, that is going to pose a significant challenge, but I will try.》

He's honest, I'll give him that, 《That's a fair statement. Please arrange a meeting with the various heads of state here. I need them to take dictation for some new laws they'll need to enforce.》

《Right away.》


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