Why Did You Summon Me?

As Baiyi was gearing up for his war on Terrorism, Laeticia, who was alone in the Imperial Capital, was facing another kind of war. Not a war against the English,¹ of course, but a struggle to plan for the upcoming Mass. It was almost time for the mass to start, and Mia and Noirciel were nowhere in sight. They could not even be reached by phone, either.

 “What are we going to do?” Laeticia, who was on the verge of tears, whispered. Kneeling believers had already crowded the place.

 The Shadow Walker gritted her teeth. “If this is what it has come to, then so be it. Change of plans!” She gave the Paladin Walker and Cleric Walker a meaningful shove. “Today, you two will have to take over Mia and Noirciel’s roles!”

 “Whoa! You’re asking us… to crossdress?” The Church’s most infamous gentlemen exclaimed in unison, looking at each other with identical expressions of excitement.

 “I’ve did not ask for such a thing!” The Shadow Walker bellowed, her head aching like it was going to explode. “I mean that since you are called the ‘Defender of Faith’, while you are the Archbishop, your ranks should be enough for you to serve as replacements! Mia and Noirciel aren’t even required to be here!”

 “Are you sure this will be fine..?” Laeticia said hesitantly. “I m-mean, there’s no absolute demand about it, but it has always been Mia, Noirciel, and me conducting this ceremony since its first. What will the believers think if it’s Father Joel and Sir Hantai this time?”

 “Some form of uproar may be expected, yes, but it’s substantially better than having you conduct it alone,” the Shadow Walker replied firmly. “These perverts may not act like it, but they still carry honorable titles of this faith. They’re also very active in seeing these believers and have — so far— managed to keep their disgusting faults under wraps. They even appear to be popular figures among the public, so I’m confident they’re good enough for the time being.”

 To really drive it home, the Shadow Walker said, “This is the only way we have now, Laeticia.”

 “The Arbiter’s Rights! They’re with Noirciel. How do we do this without them?” Laeticia persisted with another mortifying problem.

 “Have these two fellas make something up with their theurgical skills, then… Ultimately, as long as they do nothing unacceptable, there should be no problem,” the Shadow Walker replied reassuringly before turning to the two. “Is that right, boys? …None of you has anything questionable with you at the moment, right?”

 “Worry not! We swear there is nothing with us right now — hell, we don’t bring our precious with us when we’re interacting with the general public! You must always count on our professionalism!” The two perverts swore in unison.

 The ceremony began. The reception was one of confusion at first, but as the Shadow Walker had predicted, it quickly warmed without any voice of dissatisfaction or doubt. As usual, it started with hymns and melodic recitations of Scripture led by Laeticia while the two gentlemen cooperated accordingly with their awesome theurgical powers to create a dazzling light show. It delighted the attendants with its manufactured holy ambiance.

 The next agenda would be a mass confession and pleading for forgiveness, usually led by Saintess Mia. Now that she was not here, the Cleric Walker would have to take over her role. It went on smoothly — say what one will, the man was still an expert in religious duties.

 Next came the ritual for liberation and mercy, which was conducted by the angel. Now it became the Paladin Walker’s job, who did not trip nor stumble in his act. It turned out that the Paladin Walker knew a few stock words for the situation, too.

 The ceremony went swimmingly up to this point. The Paladin Walker and the Cleric Walker had done a satisfactory job filling in Noirciel and Mia’s roles. But now, it finally came to the critical agenda: picking thirty-three believers randomly, shake their hands, offer simple blessings, and grant their uncomplicated wishes.

 Strangely, the lucky followers were quickly revealed to all be young women.

 The first was a beautiful, youthful white-collar woman, who gripped the Cleric Walker’s hands in excitement. She was so moved that she could barely speak coherently. “Finally me… Finally my turn…”

 “Tell me your wish, little one,” the Cleric Walker said, flashing her a kind smile.

 Everyone in attendance knew the rules in advance and knew better than to ask for something too overboard. So the woman wished for something incredibly simple, too. “I’m not asking much, really. I just think Lady Mia is so, so sweet, and I… I wish I can be within her proximity for a bit.”

 “Ah, very simple indeed,” the Cleric Walker answered and pulled out a photo of Mia seemingly out of nowhere. “The Saintess will always be with you.”

 “W-wha — I mean, t-thank you, Your Grace,” the woman stammered, stunned.

  The Scripture strictly banned believers from keeping a picture of the Saintess, and that anyone who crossed this testament would be carrying an unforgivable sin. Many might admit that it was a pretty peculiar rule when thinking about it, but believers were known to obey their Scripture without asking questions.

 ‘So why would Saint Joel give me a picture of Lady Mia?‘ The woman thought to herself. Faith, however, was not known to motivate one to think critically, so she quickly shifted her focus from questioning the Cleric Walker to being quietly enthralled that she now owned a picture. With it, she could finally see Lady Mia every day!

 The second believer had a simple request, too. Since she called herself the ‘Biggest fan of Lady Noirciel’, her primary wish was to hug Noirciel for a few seconds. Unfortunately, the angel was unavailable today, so she had to change it to something her replacement — the Paladin Walker — could fulfill, “Lord Hantai, I wish to be as radiant as Lady Noirciel is.”

 It was not a novel wish by any measure; Noirciel herself had encountered it before. Her usual method to resolve it was to complement the asker’s look to reassure them of their beauty, then cast a theurgical spell on her so that for the next twenty-four hours, she would “look” radiant.

 The Paladin Walker, however, had another idea.

 With his face glowing, the Paladin Walker replied, “The solution is simple, Little One. Put on some make-up and the season’s trendiest outfit. Put on a cute mini skirt and paired it with black silky socks. With these, you too can be as beautiful as an angel.”

 “Oh. Is that so…?” A nonplussed expression shadowed the girl’s face out of genuine shock that the Paladin Walker would give her that as an answer. After leaving the stage doubtfully, she pulled out her phone and began to surf online zines and websites about women fashion.

 The third person was up. “It’s such an honor to meet the three of you in person; I like all of you so much! Even though Lady Mia and Lady Noirciel aren’t here with us today. I wish I could see all of you every day! Is it possible?”

 The Cleric Walker nodded understandingly and produced a business card from his pocket and handed it to her. “Call this number, and your wish shall be fulfilled. It might be expensive, but the business supports installment payment.”

 The believer studied the card and found that it belonged to a customizable robot-manufacturing company she had never heard. She called the number and was instantly greeted by a shallow receptionist. “Welcome! Which one would you like, and what style? Apologies that Saintess Mia’s currently unavailable; Big Brother is watching us pretty tightly these days, ya’ know? On the other hand, we haven’t gotten live-sized angel Noirciel yet. As for Laeticia, we only have Dark Laeticia for now. The White one will only be restocked next month. So, what’s your order, dearest customer? By card or by cash? If you pay by cash, you’ll enjoy special rebates!”

 It was glib, precise, and professional — all the hallmarks of a business that was in no way green around the ears.

 The believer’s face turned into a very bright shade of pale.

 Fortunately, the rest had named Laeticia, who had ample practice and experience to fulfill her role, for blessings. Soon, almost all thirty-three followers came and went without any more hitches until the last girl, who looked like a student, rose to the stage.

 Unlike most of the believers before her, she was more interested in the Cleric Walker and the Paladin Walker. “Oh my, Father Joel and Lord Hantai! Your presence today is a tremendous surprise!” She said excitedly. “To be honest, I don’t have any wish in particular. I just want to have a little chit-chat with two of my most respected figures, is that alright?”

 “Most assuredly,” the Paladin Walker and the Cleric Walker answered with encouraging smiles.

 “Okay, so… What are the things Your Graces love the most?” The believer started from one of the most common questions a fan would ask their idol during a meet-and-greet.

 However, the Cleric Walker and the Paladin Walker’s faces suddenly reddened as though the girl had stumbled upon a secret they could not reveal. It was almost a divine rule that priests could never lie in a holy ceremony like this, so the only choice the gentlemen had was silence.

 “Oh, is it that difficult a question?” She wandered out loud but quickly switched to another one. “Hmm… How about hobbies, Your Grace?”

 Another simple question that stifled the Cleric Walker and the Paladin Walker so much that cold sweat was visible on their foreheads. This was turning out to be the most torturous inquisition they had ever faced!

 A dejected expression slowly shadowed the girl’s face. “Silence again? Ah… I get it now. Father Joel and Lord Hantai don’t like me that much, isn’t it?”

 “N-no! Not at all!” Finally, a question they could answer! “It’s just that your questions are quite… poignant. It’s not easy to answer them.”

 “Oh, I see! Looks like celebrities of any field are similarly guarded about their private lives too, huh? It’s alright, I understand perfectly.” Fortunately, the girl was understanding enough to know what not to press. “Well, since it’s really difficult for me to meet Your Graces again, could I ask for an autograph? Oh, I left my autograph book at home, so I guess you would have to sign it somewhere on my outfit. Where would you like?”

 Since the only aims for Voidism were to fortify Baiyi’s rule over his Empire and to provide some form of spiritual comfort for those who needed it, there were minimal rules and regulations on their rituals. For example, there was no dress code for a Mass like this, so attendants typically wore whatever they fancied.

 This girl was currently dressed in a school uniform-like combination: a blouse, a pleated skirt, and black over knee socks.

 “How about your socks, Little One?” The Cleric Walker said. “I shall sign the left one —”

 “And I shall sign the right one,” the Paladin Walker said, with a felt-tip pen on hold.

 The poor girl was so shocked by their suggestion that she jerked and let out an audible gasp.

 Thankfully, Laeticia — who knew the “peculiarity” her teachers had — rushed to the believer’s aid by pulling out two placards resembling postcards for the two to sign. These cards were typically given to the believers to sign, but in this particular instance, it became a lifesaver. After the two gentlemen signed on the cards, Laeticia had to escort the terrified girl from the stage.

 Regardless, the ceremony was at least completed without any fiasco! That surely deserved a pat in the back, yes?