ALL NOVEL Chapter Eighty-Nine: A Grim Santa Claus
Autumn gave a satisfied nod as the mental lock clicked solidly into place.
When sleep had finally come for her, she’d fled from sweet dreams to further safeguard her library of thoughts just as the banshee had taught. The once broken door to her forbidden knowledge now loomed sturdy before her, if still a little cracked. All she could do now was wait for it to heal. Interestingly enough, despite all her efforts taking place within the confines of her mind as she slept, she’d still somehow worked up a considerable sweat.
How that worked, she neither knew nor cared to know.
And thus, with her work done for the night, the young witch swiftly cast herself from the land of the slumbering and into a new dawn.
Autumn yawned as she blinked groggily in the dim light. Nobody else seemed to be awake in whatever god awful hour it might’ve been. Yet as she tried to rise, she found herself entangled in a pair of grasping arms that’d wormed their way underneath her clothing as she slept. Taking care not to awaken the catgirl, and/or get clawed, the witch escaped her bonds.
With quiet footsteps heralding her passage, Autumn slowly made her way to the lounge to prepare a breakfast for herself and her still snoring companions.
Thankfully, they’d had the foresight to reassemble the runic stove the night before and, as such, Autumn could quickly prepare a breakfast of hearty steaks and grilled mushrooms. And it wasn’t long before the fragrant smells drew the others and they stumbled out half-awake into her domain of cooking.
“Morning.” Autumn called.
“Morning.” Liddie yawned back as she took a plate from Autumn and sat down on the now clean floor to eat. None of the others were any more vocal as they too took their food. Nelva just quietly waved as she limped her way into the lounge, her weight supported by a bleary-eyed Eme.
Once again, Autumn marveled at a healing potion’s effectiveness. Even just the few drops she’d used were enough to turn months of healing and physical therapy into a bare few days. If they’d used a full one, she’d likely already be fighting fit.
No wonder they were so damn expensive.
Nelva let out a small groan even as Eme took care to gently deposit her into one of the few remaining seats. However, her grimace swiftly twisted into a smile of appreciation as a plate of stir-fried mushrooms and root vegetable landed in her hands.
The quiet clacking of cutlery filled the air alongside some half-awake noises of enjoyment. However, once Autumn was sure they’d eaten their fill and looked more or less awake, she broke the muted atmosphere to garner everyone’s attention.
“Ok everyone. What are our plans for the day?” Autumn’s eyes flickered between each of them, “Edwyn? How long do you reckon you need to make your bomb?”
“It’s not really a bomb, per se, juist a collection o’ runes, but…a day perhaps? Less? By tonight, I’d say.” Edwyn grunted as they finished off their steak, looking around hungrily for more.
Autumn hummed. “Hmm, the sled would take us the same I think. Liddie?”
“Sounds about right.” Liddie said as she warded off the Manus from her food, “I’ll go and hack up some meat and bones soon, so I’ll want to borrow your belt. The rest of you can search for more loot.”
“I was planning on it.” Autumn nodded to Eme. “We were gonna collect up that alchemy station, and cauldron too, if we even can.”
Eme perked up at hearing this, an extra half of a steak hanging from her fanged mouth. The perks of being on a cooking-witch’s good side. She let out a low growl as the others noticed her second helping.
In her seat, Nelva shifted uncomfortably as she tried not to aggravate her wounds. “What about me? I can help.”
“What you can do,” Liddie pointed to her sternly, “is rest.”
Nelva scowled. “I refuse to be a burden. Let me do something helpful!”
The pair glared fiercely at one another, neither backing down.
Seeing this Autumn spoke up. “How about you take notes of everything we’ve found so far? We need to do that at some point, right? There is a lot of gold and silver in the vault we need to check.”
“Fine,” Nelva breathed out, “but don’t leave me out of things. I want to know what’s going on.”
“Sure, sure.” Liddie reassured her before she clapped loudly. “Now! Let’s cart your butt back to bed so that we can finally sort out who gets the good stuff!”
Like a line of ducklings, the party followed the pirate back into the bedroom and the vault lying within. However, rather than make the injured Nelva trudge into it after them, they brought the gear out to her instead. Heavy chest spilled forth handfuls of gold and silver coins as they dragged them across the slick white floors.
And as they all plopped themselves tiredly down upon the treasure chests, Autumn started handing out enchanted items like a grim Santa Claus.
“This one’s for Eme.” Autumn carried the Katana over to the nervous catgirl. “Its name is the Snow Demon’s Fang. I’ll transcript the label for you later.”
Eme took the weapon with reverence. “Thank you, but should I really get this?”
Liddie shrugged from atop her gold-filled chest, “who else is gonna use it? We can hash out ownership and other shit like that with the guild when we return.”
With no objections from the others, Autumn quickly claimed both the collection of spell scrolls and the Ferryman’s Lantern ring for herself. The moonstone ring fitted her finger perfectly, as if someone had made it for her.
Edwyn got the March of the Legion boots, on account of their shorter strides, while Nelva had the choice of either of the shields; Charity, or the Reflection of Kazam. In the end, she took the reflection. Liddie sulkily took the Butcher’s Cleaver, but there was little else she could have as the Swashbuckler’s Boot-blade hadn’t turned up at all in their extensive search.
As for the rest? Nobody really wanted to wear the cursed stuff, unsurprisingly, so it all got stuffed unceremoniously into the belt of holding.
“Do you think Nethlia would like these?” Autumn pointed to the Corpsedancers boots and the Bloodfeasters gloves.
Liddie shrugged. “They don’t really fit her aesthetics, but their abilities aren’t bad. They’re not cursed at least. Let her decide when we find her.”
“Alright.” Autumn agreed as she tucked the remaining items into the belt’s larger pouch. She then turned to Nelva, who’d started counting the loose coinage already. “Well…see you later?”
“Go, I’ll be fine.” She waved them off.
Leaving their new abode, the group of four trudged once more down the bone steps to the lower floors, only stopping to collect the necromancer’s still unidentified things and the mighty halberd. The sight of the long weapon vanishing into the belt like a magician’s trick brought a smile to Autumn’s face. However, her amusement fled when her eyes landed upon the angel’s crumpled form. The Angel-dragon wand hummed in her sleeve. That feeling reminded her of the inherent power even the parts of its broken body still possessed, and she grew even more resolved to see it gone.
After all, she wasn’t even sure if it’d been a good idea for her to get access to it.
Liddie soon split off from the party when they made it down to the laboratory, heading on alone to gather up the meat and bones ahead of them. Reluctantly, Autumn handed over her new belt as she left, emphasizing to the pirate that she was only borrowing it. Liddie just gave her a cheeky wave as she disappeared down the steps.
Before they started dismantling the massive alchemical setup, Autumn made a series of detailed sketches, including annotations of which parts slotted in where. Once confident in her drawings, they swiftly got to work. However, her thoughts continually drifted to the cauldron dominating the space behind her.
The elemental undead roared in a silent fury at the sight of them.
It had to go. But how?
There was no guarantee that the impending explosion would kill it.
The logical solution was simply to banish it with her newfound scroll. However, Autumn felt reluctant to do so as it represented a way home for her, something she’d been fighting for all this time. Sure, the wish spell buried in the Tome of Witchcraft promised the same, but this was in her hand right now. And while she wasn’t certain, she assumed the spell-scrolls were a onetime use, like in the games her father had played.
But, she had no assurances that the dark things from this world or between wouldn’t just follow her home. She couldn’t do that to her foster family nor Earth.
When the last of the alchemy station came apart, Autumn turned her attention fully to the black cauldron and the foul concoction still bubbling away within it. And with but a few flicks of her wand, she scoured it completely clean. Now all she needed to do was read. Read and send the undead elemental back to whence it’d come, once and for all.
Autumn hesitated, her hand gripping the spell scroll tight.
“You ready, lassie?” Edwyn asked behind her.
A thousand rampant thoughts ran through Autumn’s mind, but she simply nodded and unrolled the scroll to let the magic bloom.
Autumn’s eyes flickered across the velum as she recited the spell emblazoned upon it. Words of unmatched power leapt free of the page in her tight grip and flowed into her consciousness, allowing her to warp the world to suit her needs, to suit her wants.
She felt like a god.
One who could understand magic completely.
The air rippled around her before the space above the elemental tore open with a great rending screech, like nails on a chalkboard or a pane of glass shattering. The elemental of undeath roared in silence as it clung desperately to the cauldron’s bindings. But like the cruel god she was, Autumn only looked disinterested in its resistance and uttered the last word of the spell.
“Begone.”
And with a loud ‘pop’, the elemental was gone.
A shrunken cauldron made a loud clattering as it hit the ground. With a width that now matched Autumn’s torso, it was light enough that she could lug it around with little trouble. Although she still lamented a lack of shrinking charm available to her. She made a mental note to look into that later.
That wasn’t the only thing left behind however, as the spell’s last word still burned in her mind.
“You good?” Eme asked as she approached.
Autumn shook the fuzziness from her head. “Yeah, it just took a bit out of me, is all.” She offered the catgirl a reassuring smile. “Shall we head down now? We can pack up all this alchemy stuff once we get my belt back.”
“Right.” Eme nodded. “After you.”
After making their way down to the ground floor, the group split up to accomplish their various tasks. With Edwyn’s task being to craft a reliable time-bomb with their runecraft, they sequestered themselves in a quiet corner with some bones Liddie’d already dropped off. On the other side, Autumn and Eme took responsibility for the construction of the grim sled they’d use to transport the dead and excess loot in their escape.
Hours of hard work slipped Autumn by, giving her ample practice in her new spell, Bone Grafting. And while her wand didn’t quite like the necromancy spell, it cooperated enough, seeing as how she wasn’t using it in pursuit of undeath.
By the time they finished for the day, the pair had a rather impressive looking sled sitting in the tower’s foyer — well, more of a sleigh given its size. All it needed now was Edwyn’s levitation enchantment.
Not to pat herself too much on the back, but Autumn felt she’d done a good job on the sleigh. She’d melded the bones together into a single white construction to not look too much like a necromancer’s cart, but she wasn’t so sure that it’d stand up to intense scrutiny. The key factor was that it held enough space inside for the bodies and loot without being too wide to fit out the front door.
That’d have been embarrassing to figure out in the morning, and she was glad that she’d checked before they’d started building it.
In what felt like a blink, Autumn found herself back before the runic stove, preparing the group’s dinner of dragon steaks and mushrooms again. The same meal they’d had for breakfast and dinner for the past few days.
She stared sadly down at her skillet before addressing the others. “You know, I never thought I’d say this, but I think I’m getting sick of eating steaks all the time, and maybe just meat in general.”
Liddie snorted. “I can’t say I know what that’s like, but I could definitely do with a nice meat bun right about now.”
“I know some nice shops in Duskfields that mainly cater to Lepus that I could show you?” Nelva offered, as she gracefully ate her vegetarian meal.
Autumn perked up. “Yeah? That sounds nice. Although, I could do without any mushrooms too for a while.”
“How about we hold a team party when we get back?” Liddie asked before smirking at Eme. “You’re invited too, kitty cat.”
Eme gave a rumbling growl to the pirate as her ears flattened and her tail swished angrily. However, before she could pounce, Autumn interrupted her.
“Settle down, you two.” She gave each a light glare. “Do we have anything left to do here before we leave in the morning? We collected up the alchemy stuff before and most of the loot we found. Anything that didn’t fit in the belt we’ve put inside the sleigh. Have I forgotten anything?” When nobody offered anything, she turned to Nelva, “Nelva? How much was in the chests?”
Nelva swallowed her meal before speaking. “While I didn’t get through it all, from my estimates we are looking at about 10,000g—” Everyone broke out into cheers, cutting her off. She raised her voice to be heard over the din. “However! That’s just an estimate based mainly on the weight and volume. Given that it’s not imperial coinage, we can’t be sure of its quality until we get it appraised. Or, rather, the guild does.”
“Umm, not to be a killjoy, but isn’t gold and silver really heavy? We had trouble just moving it all before.” Autumn pointed out. “And I don’t know if the belt has enough space for that all, and the sleigh might not either with all the bodies.”
Liddie shook her head. “It’s not that bad. If we move most of the gold into your belt, we can see what remains in the chests. We can always leave the silver behind if we must. Speaking of,” she turned to Edwyn, “how goes the bomb?”
“It’s done.” Edwyn grunted. “I gave it as long a timer as I could, about two hours or so. I reckon we leave it at the exit, then book it. We ought tae make it clear in time.”
“Says the one that just got marching boots.” Liddie scoffed. “Alright then, everyone get to bed on time! We got a big day ahead of us.”
Autumn breathed out heavily as she stood before the doors leading out of the tower of bone and black-iron. Beside her hovered a fully loaded sleigh containing their fallen dead, their gear, and whatever loot wouldn’t fit inside Autumn’s new belt. A few chests of the remaining gold and silver weighed down the back alongside her new cauldron while Nelva sat at the head, tasked with monitoring their things and warding off any scavengers that might take a liking to the relevantly fresh bodies.
From the front, Liddie turned back to them all, a scarf wrapped around her lower face. “Everyone ready?” she called. “Anyone need to piss? Cause we aren’t stopping once we get moving.”
Seeing as nobody did, she nodded to them before thrusting open the heavy black-iron doors out into the graveyard of heroes and kings. The sight of putrid plains and hills wasn’t one Autumn wanted to see so soon again, much less traverse. Or smell. But traverse it, she did. The rope around her waist pulled taut as they dragged the sleigh out into the nightmare terrain, ruining their boots once more.
Their journey across the squelching ground did not go unnoticed and soon a flock of giant murderous crows descended upon them.
Autumn launched her jinxes at the flock like gunfire, her new wand relishing in the chance. The purple light slammed into the crows, sending them spiraling down on broken wings. And of those few that swooped through her blanket of AA fire, the witch just gave them a dispassionate stare and simply said.
“Begone”
And like a giant had flicked them, they disappeared in a puff of blood and feathers.
Autumn grinned at the sight even as her head pounded and her nose bled.
“I didn’t know you could do that.” Nelva said as she watched the fluttering feathers.
“Neither did I.”
Very few scavengers felt confident enough to bother them after that, and before too long, they reached the end of the cavern. A yawning tunnel now spread out before them, blacker than sin. According to the map, it’d lead them back the way they’d come and to where they hoped the convoy still was. Turning back to the necromancer’s tower in the distance, Autumn gave it the middle finger as Edwyn embedded the runic bomb in the muck. The runemaster flicked over a cracked hourglass, and as the dark sand fell, they bellowed at the group.
“Alright! It’s active! We got two-ish hours tae get out of here!”
“Two-ish!!! You said two to three!” Liddie yelled as they all started running.
“I said Two-ish! Two-ish!”
Autumn cackled in fright and amusement as the Ferryman’s Lantern lit up the path ahead of them, scaring the poor catgirl who dogged her heels. Slightly mad with magic, the witch began to sing as she pulled the sleigh on.
“Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer;
Had a very shiny nose.
And if you ever saw it;
You would even say it glows.”
From atop the floating sleigh of bones, Nelva sighed and looked fondly at them all. “It was nice knowing you all.”
