Yakumo Yukari Gapped Me to Another World; Now I'm Trapped in the Human Village Full of Pathetic Touhou Maniacs

I agonized for most of a week about whether I should still go to meet Sekibanki. I was all but certain she had something to do with the attack. She fed on fear. Her friends were likely suspects. She was part of the grassroots youkai network–heck, the attack had occurred at the same time of night that we met!

My intuition was screaming at me that Sekibanki had aided the youkai of the attack. My stomach roiled when I thought about it. It didn’t stop roiling….

Because I also liked Sekibanki and considered her my friend. She’d freely given information, when so many were hesitant. She’d helped me skill up in danmaku, and I was certain I’d have lost the fight against Parsee without our training. She’d put up with my human foibles with patience, and even when she’d coerced me out of the village it had been for my own good and because she was compassionate toward Wakasagihime.

My intuition also wanted me to go talk to her and keep her as an ally.

I knew that the rebellious youkai wanted powerful danmaku users dead, and I knew that people could be coerced out of the village. (Wiki had inferred as much about the earlier disappearances, even without the direct experience of a youkai inflicting that on him.)

But I also knew that Remilia would make one more appearance if my life were threatened. As long as Sekibanki understood and respected that I would be safe even if she decided to betray me. It wouldn’t matter to Sekibanki that my backup was dangerous to me, as long as I had backup. I’d already told her about Remilia’s protection.

And if she disrespected even Remila’s promise… I’d earn Remilia’s ire, but being killed by two youkai isn’t much worse than being killed by one. I was willing to trade present risk for future risk, especially when the future risk was unlikely to materialize. In Gensokyo, Remilia was the nuclear option, and Sekibanki knew I had nukes.

So I could meet her if I wanted, and I definitely wanted to. For good reasons.

Sekibanki was a source of information. The value of knowing things that the underground youkai network knew was hard to estimate, but it was certainly above zero. More than that, she was my friend and I wanted to see her and ask her questions. Questions like “Did you almost murder my roommate?” or “Where did you get the blood that you probably gave me?” or “Which of your buddies has a snout and a taste for human flesh?” Unlike most of the youkai in Gensokyo, she might answer such questions!

Unfortunately, Sekibanki wasn’t my only friend.

“Dumbass,” hissed Sasha as I got out of bed. My heart skipped a beat; I hadn’t realized she was awake. I tried to control my breathing.

“I’m going to the outhouse,” I said, tamping down on my fear. Being caught by Sasha felt even worse than the prospect of meeting Sekibanki, for some reason.

“Bullshit.” Sasha put her sock-covered feet on the floor and stood up. “There’s a curfew for a reason! I’m coming with you.”

“Um, no,” I said. “You aren’t protected by Lady Scarlet. Going out at night is far riskier for you than for me.” What I should have said was ‘I don’t need anyone to hold my hand while I take a piss,’ but hindsight is twenty-twenty.

“You don’t want me taking risks? What a coincidence!”

“Let’s step outside…” I said. I was worried that we’d wake the others. Sasha pulled her boots on and followed me out the door.

I couldn’t see her well in the dim light; the moon hadn’t risen yet. Her voice was angry and quiet, but underneath the anger was a note of fear, I realized. I could almost feel it, like the goosebumps rising on my arms in the cold night air.

“Jake, I respect you. I think you are sometimes capable of not thinking with your dick.”

“Wait, what?”

“You’re lusting after this lady or whoever it is,” said Sasha. “That’s why you meet at night. That’s why you’re still going to see her even if you know it’s a bad idea and even if you already know danmaku. This isn’t about practice, anymore.”

“That’s–”

“That’s why you’re being so stupid right now–you aren’t thinking straight. Right? Right?”

“I’m not lusting for her!” I said.

“Oh, so you’re just a fucking idiot regardless of hormones?” Sasha kicked the ground. “I knew there was a lady involved.”

“Yes, but, I’m going to pump her–”

“Uh-huh.”

“–for information about youkai.”

“So it really is a youkai,” said Sasha. “I thought you might be meeting up with some human woman instead.”

“Yeah, right, when there are two dozen in the village. Or less.”

“The locals are humans, too,” said Sasha. She weighed her words. “...Wiki sneaks out to meet up with Reika, sometimes.”

“That’s not safe!” A moment passed. “Does he take protection?”

“Reika’s old fashioned,” said Sasha. “He says they’re waiting for marriage.” I wondered if Sasha had heard this from Wiki, or from Reika.

“I’m pretty sure that’s not Japanese tradition.” And Wiki would know! I shook my head. I wasn’t up at midnight to gossip, I was up at midnight to learn things about danmaku and evil youkai.

“So is this youkai trustworthy?” asked Sasha.

“I think so,” I said. I looked at the sky. We were wasting time debating, when I should be on my way to the bench. “We’ve met many times. I’ve got a sense of them.”

“A sense of her. No way. I can tell that you’re afraid–you’re shaking!”

“It’s cold outside,” I said. I pulled my hat on tighter, as though it would help.

“You think she was in on the attack.” It wasn’t even a question.

“Look, if you follow me there, she’s just not going to show up.”

“Good,” said Sasha. “Then you’ll be safe.

“Unless she’s actually a threat, then she’ll kill you and, and, only you!”

“And you’ll have my death on your guilty conscience,” said my roommate with a nod. “So you’d better stay here.”

God damn it, Sasha was frustrating as hell. Her fear was contagious; I found myself even more worried about going to meet Sekibanki. She was holding herself hostage, using a future risk to get what she wanted in the present. I could kind of admire it, I supposed, in an intellectually detached sort of way.

On the other hand, I found that I hated being manipulated.

“Alright,” I said. “Fuck you.”

“Not in your wildest dreams,” she said with a chuckle that ended as soon as I spun around to walk off. She hadn’t expected me to go anyway, I could tell, but she made haste to follow me.

“It’s your life,” I said. “Watch me respect your autonomy. If you die I won’t feel guilty. Just fucking sad.”

“Fine then, asshole,” she said. “At least you know how I feel.”

“I’m not going to die!” I said.

“We’ll see,” she replied. “These youkai like to play with their food before they eat it. Ask me how I know.”

We trudged through the village to my meeting place with Sekibanki.

—

I decided that it would be better to show up with Sasha and reveal that we were compromised, than to not show up at all. Sekibanki would see us coming, and she might be offended that I let someone follow me. I hoped, and strongly suspected, that she’d be able to figure out that I’d been caught and I wanted her to know as much.

Sekibanki wasn’t there, because of course she wasn’t. She could probably taste us coming from a mile away. My anger had mostly cooled, and I was simply feeling unsettled. As we drew closer I felt a little bit of shame, even. I’d failed her, by allowing someone to discover our secret. I was a little embarrassed to have Sasha with me, like I’d invited a tagalong on a date.

Those were stupid thoughts.

I sat down on the bench. Sasha looked around, then sat down with me.

“So you wait for her here,” said Sasha. She looked at the statue, then over at some shrubs as though she were considering hiding in them. “Not much privacy.”

“I disagree,” I said. “The sightlines are short.”

“But someone could just walk around a tree and interrupt you.”

“She’d know they were coming.”

“How?” asked Sasha.

“Because some youkai feed on fear. That’s why she won’t show up. She can taste emotions, so she’ll be able to feel your presence.”

“I’m not afraid right now,” Sasha said, but I didn’t believe her. Despite her bluster she was nervously glancing around.

“That was one of the first things she explained to me,” I said, leaning back. “Human beings are always afraid, at least a little bit. Our emotions roil underneath, ready to rise up when they are needed, but they never really go away. When we’re in danger, or worried, or even when we’re doing something as simple as looking at shadows… that’s when our fear rises.”

Sekibanki would also have a spare head on the lookout, but I couldn’t explain Sekibanki’s flying heads or Sasha would figure it out. If she didn’t remember that power of Sekibanki’s, she could easily learn it from talking with Wiki. Sasha rubbed dirt next to the bench with her boot and I continued to stare up at the stars.

I caught a glint of silver in the sky. With a squint I was able to see it–a faint wisp of smoke, a tendril that wasn’t anything like a neck, really, even if it was attached to a head somewhere. We weren’t alone. I could perhaps have a one-sided conversation with Sekibanki.

“The dark wasn’t this scary before the attack,” said Sasha.

“You understand that is a big change from how humans felt historically, right? The idea that the dark shouldn’t be scary?”

“Perhaps.”

“That might actually be part of the problem.” I hoped that Sekibanki was listening. “It could be that the youkai are lashing out to generate fear. The disappearances over the last several months seem calculated, to make us afraid. I wish I knew their reasoning.”

“But it didn’t work,” said Sasha.

“Not at first,” I said. “Modern humans are, well, different. We don’t care if one person in our village disappears… it happens all the time.”

“People don’t die randomly in the Outside World,” said Sasha. Actually, they did, but I didn’t want to get distracted.

“No, but they move. We are used to meeting five hundred people, then forgetting about almost all of them as they disappear off into their own lives.” I flexed my fingers. “The youkai are from a different era, one in which people did disappear… but you’d known them all your life, and you’d never get an answer for their death. The youkai were expecting a united village, one that would respond to a disappearance with fear, but we all live in our heads too much. We just went ‘well whatever, he probably went outside at night, who cares.’ I think the problem is that we are too apathetic for beings that feed on emotion.”

“Done monologuing?” asked Sasha.

“I guess. I want to ask her about it, and to see if we might negotiate something that doesn’t involve killing humans. You’re putting that in jeopardy by following me here.”

“She’s that powerful? Powerful enough to negotiate?”

“She has powerful friends,” I said.

Sasha shrugged. “If she wanted to negotiate peace, she’d tolerate my presence.”

“She doesn’t want anyone to know who she is–she can’t let them know, so your presence is a major problem.”

Hopefully, Sekibanki would hear that her secret was safe and that I hadn’t told Sasha much of anything. Time was still passing. I decided to mention more of my questions, even if I didn’t think I’d get answers.

“I also wanted to see if she knew anything about who gave us the blood,” I said aloud, “or how we could figure that out.”

“I prefer not to look a gift horse in the mouth,” said Sasha.

“I’ll look, if it’ll help the horse.” I shook my head. Sekibanki hated being compared to animals. “I’d look to make sure nothing bad was going to happen as a result of the gift, and to make sure the ally who provided it was rewarded.” That was more Sekibanki’s style.

“So this youkai might give you her bodily fluids,” said Sasha. “I’m glad it goes both ways!”

I raised an eyebrow. “I wouldn’t just let her drink my blood.”

“I didn’t mean blood,” she said. “Do you have sex on the park bench, or on the ground?” She looked down at the bench with a frown on her face.

“We aren’t having sex! Damn it, human beings aren’t one-dimensional! Even men!”

“Then what do you even do here?” she asked. “You can’t do danmaku in the village.”

“I tell her things about the Outside World, and she tells me about danmaku and youkai or whatever. And sometimes yes, we practice danmaku, but we go on a walk first!”

“How romantic,” said Sasha. “Are you sure you aren’t trying to smooch this youkai?”

“We’re just friends! Maybe!”

“Maybe friends,” she said, giving me a look.

“Well, maybe we aren’t even friends. Collaborators. Co-conspirators. I don’t know.” Sekibanki maintained that she couldn’t have friends, then she brought in help to save the life of a mermaid.

“This is so pathetic,” said Sasha. “It also doesn’t make sense. Why all the secrecy? Heck, if it was just that she wanted information, she could come hang out with all of us, like Satori… or start dating you openly, like Reika and Wiki.”

It took me a moment to remember why Sekibanki had wanted secrecy–not that our lives were at risk, but why they were at risk.

“Other youkai wouldn’t approve,” I said. “She doesn’t want to make enemies. It’s taboo for a youkai like her to be friendly to humans.” And Yukari didn’t want AI to be explained to youkai, for some reason, but I didn’t say that.

“Okay… well, she could wear a disguise or something. I wouldn’t tell.”

“That might work on humans, but youkai are much better at seeing through disguises. Remember the ‘eating emotions’ thing? If Yukari or one of her friends saw her with us they would know instantly.”

“That doesn’t apply to Miyoi,” objected Sasha. “Or any other youkai, now that I think about it, disguised or not. Spending time with humans is absolutely allowed.”

“Of course you only know youkai that are friendly to humans,” I said. “Those youkai don’t feed on fear.”

“What about Satori’s pets?”

“She leaves them at home most of the time, for a reason,” I said. “It’s different in this case… just remember all the youkai that didn’t want to be caught during the attack!”

“If you say so,” said Sasha.

A few minutes lapsed in silence. Then, a white ghost floated in from the darkness, causing both of us to jump back in fear.

“Hello Jaaaake,” rasped the figure. “We meet againnnn.”

“H-hello,” I said. It wasn’t a ghost; it was a white sheet with eye holes cut into it. The sheet floated in the air, and I suspected it was draped over a flying mannequin’s head. It had ‘hands’, but I could see three wisps of white exiting the sheet with my illusory sight.

Sekibanki was puppetting a sheet and disguising her voice. The hands were just extra heads.

“This is the youkai that you’ve been meeting up with?” asked Sasha. “She’s less… corporeal than I expected.”

“That’s rude,” I said.

“I would slap you if I couuuuld,” said the ‘ghost’ while the sheet moved in a vaguely threatening way, as though shaking a fist.

“Sorry,” said Sasha with a bow. She introduced herself. “What is your name?” I was worried that Sasha would ask Wiki later, and that Wiki wouldn’t know of any cartoonishly ghostly youkai, so I hoped Sekibanki had a good lie prepared.

“My name is Shanghaaai,” said the voice. She named herself after a city? My memory was tickled, I’d heard of a Touhou-related Shanghai before.

“Pleased to meet you,” said Sasha.

“Time is short…” moaned the fake ghost. “I heard your questions. Let me answer theeeem.”

For the most part, she did answer my questions. She’d known about the attack; she’d tried to stop it; she’d wanted to warn me but couldn’t; the attack was for generating fear; she hadn’t been there. She would try to convince the other youkai to seek alternatives. It was basically everything I wanted to hear.

Sasha still had questions.

“Look, you may have charmed Jake with your wiles… but I don’t know who you are.”

“Sigghhhhh…. Let us get to know each other, thennnnn.”

I sat back down on the bench as Sasha asked questions of the apparent apparition. Sekibanki explained about the information exchange we had arranged, about her interest in AI, and even about Yukari sleeping at night. Sasha stood impatiently in front of me, asking more and more questions, but she calmed down as her concerns were addressed.

I was just starting to feel like most of the meeting had been wasted when the conversation turned toward the blood donation.

“I got it from a youkai that used to drink blood,” said the fake ghost. “Ooo-oooh.” There was only one youkai I knew like that. Sekibanki had given her own blood to us.

“Which?” asked Sasha. The ghost’s ‘hands’ moved to its shoulders so it could shrug. “Do we have to worry about anything? Rejection? Turning into youkai ourselves?”

That possibility hadn’t occurred to me at all, for some reason.

“Not from a single doooose,” said the ghost. “I could get mooore….”

“Good, and no thanks,” said Sasha. “It’s against village rules to turn into a youkai, there are too many already.”

“Of couuurse.” Sekibanki definitely already knew that–but was she still offering to turn me into a youkai? The offer to get more blood… more of her blood… I’d have a lot to think about.

“One other thing,” said Sasha. “Why did you help me as well as Jake? I don’t even know you.”

“He caaaares about you…” said the ghost. Its blank face turned toward me. “I was doing him a faaaavor.”

“Thank you,” I said.

“You’re welcome,” whispered a head floating right beside me, opposite from where Sasha was standing. Through a herculean effort I managed not to flinch. Fortunately, Sasha’s attention was entirely on the ‘ghost’.

“Why are you hiding these meetings from Yukari?” Sasha.

“The gap youkai is a biiiitch,” said the apparition.

“Good point,” said Sasha. Their conversation continued.

“I will never come to this bench again if she is with you,” whispered Sekibanki, to me alone. “If you can’t shake her, you can leave a message for me with the bathhouse attendant.”

“Reika,” I hissed back. “Why her?”

“Yes, that one,” whispered the head. “Address it to ‘Rose’ and leave it in your clothes. Assume that she’ll read it, so don’t give anything away except a meeting place and time, and try to make it subtle.”

“But Yukari–”

“She uses sound to direct her attention, and is too busy to watch you write letters all the time. It’s a risk, so don’t make a habit of it, but if you are quiet she probably won’t be watching. She doesn’t have enough attention span to read everything written in Gensokyo.”

Before I could whisper any more questions the head floated away.

“I must bid you adooo,” said the floating sheet. “Sashaaaa… I never want to see you agaaaaain.”

“The feeling’s mutual,” said Sasha as the ‘ghost’ floated away. “Don’t kill my friend!”

“I promissse I wooon’t….” said the fake ghost.

We walked most of the way back to our dorm room in silence. As we approached the door Sasha finally spoke.

“That was fucking bizarre,” she said. “But at least your ‘friend’ accepted me.”

“She did,” I said.

“You seem upset. Everything good?”

“Yep,” I lied.

“Sorry she doesn’t have a body. It makes sense that you aren’t getting…” she snickered, “...time in the sheets.”

“Heh, yeah,” I said as I opened the door. “I’m glad you understand.”

“Well… sleep well.”

“You too.”

Sasha did fall asleep, but I couldn’t rest. I stayed up almost until dawn, pondering what I’d heard that evening.

I’d recognized Sekibanki’s whisper. She’d been the quiet youkai at the attack.

—

“She said her name was ‘Shanghai,’” said Sasha to Wiki, late the next night.

“I can’t believe you betrayed her so quickly,” I said, my head in my hands.

“At least I waited until midnight,” said Sasha. “Yukari won’t know.”

“We really could have used that weakness before now, by the way,” said Wiki. “You’re a terrible spy.”

“No I’m not!” I said. “I’m just an honorable one!”

“That’s what I said.”

“It was moronic of you to hide your ghost friend from us,” said Sasha.

“Did it even look like a ghost?” asked Wiki. “There aren’t very many ghost youkai in canon… that would explain why Jake was able to sit with Yuyuko, though.”

“No,” said Sasha. “It looked like a sheet with holes in it. I kind of assumed there was an actual ghost underneath, one who liked hammy acting.”

“Because they are invisible otherwise,” he said, nodding. “Makes sense. But I don’t think it was a ghost. ‘Shanghai’ is the name of one of Alice Margatroid’s dolls.”

“Who’s that,” asked Sasha, which was good. I didn’t have to ask myself. The name was vaguely familiar–a player character youkai, I thought.

“She’s a puppeteer witch that lives in the forest of magic and has the ability to magically control dolls at a distance. It’s clear that one of Alice’s Shanghai dolls was under the sheet… as far as disguises go, that one’s pretty weak.” He turned to me. “Did you know that it was Alice?”

“No,” I said, technically truthfully. I hadn’t known, because it wasn’t Alice.

“So you’ve been talking to a sheet and thinking it was a ghost…” he said, giving me a look of pity.

“I’m not going to look a gift– to peek under someone’s clothes,” I finally said, which was a poor defense in multiple ways.

“It’s irrelevant,” he said. “Alice is a valuable ally. Please continue going to these meetings, and see if you can get more information–or get her to decloak and openly help us.” He put a note on the board. “We’re all going to stay up until midnight from now on, but Jake will go to meet the ‘ghost’ by himself.”

“Someone should go with him,” said Sasha.

“No.” said Wiki, and I nodded as he continued. “It’s better if we have a willing ally. I think we can trust Alice. Also, it’s good to know that she feeds on fear. I would not have predicted that.”

“Why not?” asked Sasha. “Dolls are creepy as shit.”

“She’s sympathetic to humans,” he said with a shrug. “Alice Margatroid is a natural witch, like Patchouli Knowledge. She isn’t a scary monster youkai, she’s an attractive-and-looks-human youkai.”

“I’m starting to see a pattern,” said Sasha, while giving me a dirty look.

“How could I have known that!”

“Statistically, it’s not a very compelling accusation,” said Wiki, “Many touhou characters are attractive.”

“Not all of them are witches, though,” said Sasha.

“Jake gets all the witches,” said Arnold, making me facepalm.

“Perhaps the fear thing is a ruse to mislead Jake about her identity?” continued Wiki, making my heart stop for a moment. “She could easily have had a doll as a lookout, so the ‘fear detection’ might just be a cover for that…” I calmed down a bit. He added another note. “Except she was probably at the attack, which would have been an excellent time for a fear-eating youkai to feed.”

“What makes you think she was there?” I asked.

“She’d be the one arguing for them to spare as many humans as possible. Alice is friendly to humans, as I said.”

“Ah.”

That was something else that was worth considering. Sekibanki had participated in a human-hunting party… but she had urged restraint.

Maybe she really was on our side.