Yandere Dating System

"Yo~ Rumi~" Chisa struck a pose as Rumi answered the door. She felt an eye twitch in annoyance.

"He's not here!" 

Chisa blinked innocently. "Who isn't here? I only came to see my best buddy, Rumi." The girl grinned.

Rumi wasn't having it. "Then why are you dressed in nothing but a sweater and pantyhose, hm?"

"I'm cold," Came the smooth reply.

"And you're looking for Yuuji to warm you up, are you?" Rumi raised a brow. 

For the past several days Chisa had been surprisingly earnest in her attempt to get to know the Piggy Prince better. She wasn't entirely sure it wasn't just to annoy her, or if the girl did actually like him, but either way she'd been an eyesore lately.

"Of course not," Chisa insisted. "But if I happen to seduce a certain burly baker man by bending over and showing him my shapely, tender buttocks and make him regret saying he isn't attracted to me, that's not my fault." Her tone was dry and her eyes showed a serious case of obsession. 

And Rumi finally understood. "You petty little...." She shook her head in wonder. "Are you really that vain? So what if the Piggy doesn't like you?" 

Chisa tsked. "It's not that he doesn't like me, it's the way he looked at me with utter disdain!" She exploded. "You're too young for my tastes" The girl mimicked him in an exaggerated, mocking tone of voice. "Looking at me like he's saying, 'you think I'd like a child like you? Get over yourself,' and whatever! Ah, I hate it! I hate it so much!" She punched out with her fist and nearly hit the wall. 

"I thought you actually got along with him. What about the whole, 'he's easy to talk to' thing?"

The other girl followed Rumi inside. "He is. I do. But the fact he utterly disdains my obvious feminine charms has been growing increasingly annoying." She stated flatly. "I can't accept that there's someone immune to my sexiness.  I mean look at me." Chisa gestured towards herself in a sweeping motion. "This cherubic face, glossy hair. My high cheekbones and narrow chin. And you can't tell me you aren't jealous of these pert, voluminous breasts. Even my ass has the same tenderness and elasticity as a ball of mochi. Have you ever seen such bombastic curves? Don't count your mother." She quickly cut off Rumi's coming reply. 

Well, it was true that Chisa was pretty sexy. She's one of the most popular girls in their school. She, Kanon, and Rumi all were, actually. 

Chisa just didn't get as many confessions or boys bugging her because they were all too intimidated by her womanly charms. She instead got much more attention from college-age kids and young men. 

Rumi supposed that Yuuji really was a bit weird for not drooling over her as everyone else did. And Chisa was actually quite prideful despite her usual teasing and happy-go-lucky attitude. Seeing Yuuji seemingly be unaffected by her beauty must've ruffled her feathers, especially his comment, "Still just a child." 

Rumi hadn't thought of it much back then, but it obviously bugged the girl more than she showed before now. 

In fact, why was Yuuji so calm about it? Sure, he may have gotten used to Rumi and her mother's looks, but now that she thinks of it Yuuji is pretty unflappable about a lot of things.

Even his beating of that pervy gym instructor was just so out of character. Slowly, the image Rumi had of him in her mind was undergoing a drastic reversal.

...Isn't Yuuji actually kinda cool? 

He was mean and short-tempered sometimes, but he was also kind and mature. He was bold and relentless, never failing to meet the goals he set for himself. Everything he set out to do, whether it was his weight loss or his commitment to turning the bakery into a successful business, he gave his all. The way he handled himself, with a single-minded focus and competence, was intensely attractive. 

Not that he was attractive. Just his way of doing things. It was strange. He'd become deep and complex.  Not at all like the person he'd been before. Rumi many times wondered if he was even the same person. 

"Well, you're out of luck. As I said, he's not here." 

Chisa plopped down on the couch and stretched out. "Where is he, then?"

Rumi hesitated. "He's meeting with Kanon about something."

A quizzical glance. "Kanon? Why?"

"From what I heard, she knows a really good programmer or something. Yuuji wanted her to introduce him so that he can hire the person to make a website for the bakery."

Chisa frowned. "Since when did they start talking? I didn't know they kept in touch."

Rumi huffed. "I don't know, either. That guy got her number sometime during the time you came for dinner."

"How?" She blinked. "I was there the whole time! They barely talked."

The question caused Rumi no end of irritation. Kanon was the shy one in their group. She wasn't introverted, but she didn't normally speak much to people who she didn't know or who weren't at least students in her class.

The fact Yuuji had somehow, somewhen, gotten her to open up to him to the extent that they discussed business plans was more concerning to her than Rumi cared to admit. Like, how? Since when did Yuuji have such communication skills? 

Sure, he had the aura of a big brother. Sure, he can have a nice smile and his confidence was infectious. But just when did he become so accustomed to talking to girls? She noticed it when they visited the bakery that day, but he's seemingly way too at ease around women!

The fact he can joke with Chisa about having no "hair down there" was a prime example. And how wives are his "specialty." Um, say what now? Just where did he get the courage to say something so obviously wrong?! And yet, why did it feel so damn true?!

He always spoke like someone with far more experience than his age suggested. Honestly? He kind of talked like a womanizer. 

Considering his heavy drinking habits, she's almost surprised he hadn't shown up with any random women yet. Though also considering her mother's heavy overprotectiveness, that may be understandable. 

Her mother was pretty scary these days. 

"That's so weird," Chisa shook her head in wonder. "Ah, whatever. I'll just loaf around until he gets back. I'm going to make him pitch a tent today if it's the last thing I do!" She declared loudly, eyes burning with determination as she clutched her fist and raised it to the air.

Rumi wanted to hit her. She really wanted to hit her. 

Yuuji had already said, you're too childish! Hairless kid, who's brother are you tryna seduce?! 

Rumi froze in place with a cold heart. No, he's no brother of mine. He isn't. He can't be, okay?! 

If  he is...

Rumi didn't dare pursue that line of thought. It would be like admitting to something she didn't want to. 

Ah, so what if Yuuji is a little cool and a little handsome now? He's still just the Piggy Prince. 

"I really don't know why you're so fixated on the guy. Even if your pride is hurt, you never give attention to guys like this." 

Chisa raised her nose up at Rumi with pure, unadulterated arrogance. "Rumi, please. My parents run an adult video store." The girl leveled Rumi with an even stare. "Do you think my eyes are bad? I've known porn actors before I've known movie stars, before Teletubbies and Dora the Explorer."

Rumi knit her brows. "That's not something to brag about, weirdo."

Chisa snorted. "Shut up. The point is, my eye for good-looking men is unparalleled under the heavens." She folded her arms. "And my instincts are all screaming at me: Yuuji is the alpha of alphas!" The girl spoke with vehemence. 

Rumi stared back as if looking at an idiot. "Hah?" 

Chisa smiled. "He's going to be insanely hot when he's done losing all that weight. And if he gets muscle on top of that? And he's already tall, but if he grows even more?" She licked her lips. "He'd be able to make you wet on command, I'd bet." 

Rumi was thoroughly mortified by her words and felt her cheeks burn furiously. "Chisa, what the heck! Don't talk about things so dirty!"

She earned only a shrug in response. "He's got a huge dick, too." She commented.

"How could you possibly know that?!" Rumi screamed, almost scared to find out.

"His pants were pretty tight," Chisa chuckled like a pervy old man. "You'd have to be blind not to notice that Goliath."

"The only one who'd notice something like that is weird old pervs like you!" She yelled at her friend. She promptly threw a pillow at the girl. "Since when do you talk so openly about such vile things?!"

"Uh, since an SSS-grade hottie like your brother--sorry, your Piggy Prince--showed up. I mean, all the other guys who I've seen and who approached me up to now were all handsome, too. But Yuuji has the potential of a fabled Panty Melter." She said, quite bluntly."I've heard legends, but to meet one in real life..." Chisa seemed to drift away into her own thoughts. "Mother and father are gonna wanna meet him. Maybe offer him a job."   

"As what?!" 

Chisa's frank look made Rumi go silent. 

"Nope. No. Not happening." Images of Yuuji in all kinds of compromising situations entered her head, and she did not like it one bit! In fact, she denied it with all her heart! 

"You're a bad influence! Go away! Shoo!"  Rumi dragged Chisa out of her seat and towards the door. "First you want to hog my cookie dough, now you want to put Piggy into shady business deals!"

"...Cookie dough?"

"Quiet!" Rumi snapped. "Come back when you scrubbed yourself with holy water! Until then, you're too dirty to stay over!" Chisa was roughly thrown outside.

There's no way Rumi was going to let her Yuuji participate in such strange activities. 

***

"What do you mean, you saved me?" Yuuji raised a brow as he put on a white apron to prepare dinner. Since her mother was sleeping after a long night out with some friends, she hadn't been around. If she'd heard Chisa's talk from before, the girl wouldn't have made it past the threshold. The only door she'd make it through would be Death's 

"You don't need to know!" Rumi spoke sourly. "Just understand that I did a good deed and require a reward." 

The boy rolled his eyes, "Alright, fine. I get it." He raised a hand. Rumi dipped her head forward on instinct. But upon realizing it, she smacked his hand away. 

"What're you doing? Don't touch me with those filthy hooves." 

Yuuji flicked her forehead. "Don't talk back to your brother like that."

"You're not--!"

"At this point, I really couldn't give a fuck," He cut her off, then reached for the top of the pantry and took down a jar. "Here. Have a cookie."

Rumi swallowed hard and snatched the treat from his hands, or tried to. "What do we say?" He prompted devilishly. She knew exactly what he wanted, but it was too much. 

Why do I need to bootlick this guy? He's just Piggy!

She looked at the cookie in his hand. "Rumi." It cooed at her. "We want to be eaten by you. Please, devour us."

Rumi broke instantly. I'll do it for you, O noble cookie.

"Yuuji is the most handsome and kindest big brother of all." She said cutely with wide eyes. If anyone at her school had seen her just then, their jaws would fall out.

 Rumi saw that smug look on his face and nearly cried. "Damn right I am. Catch." He threw the cookie into the air and Rumi's arm darted out, fast as lightning, catching it in mere moments. 

....I'm being domesticated.

The tears that poured down her face turned the treat a touch salty as she slinked away to munch out of sight.

It was delicious.