Young Flame

I’m back in the Void Fog? How did I get here? I was about to die and then I just appear within this darkness. Or am I actually dead and being dead looks a lot like the Void Fog?

No, I thought I was dead the first time I experienced the mist, and now, I don’t know why, but I can just tell that this is the Void Fog.

Like last time, I can’t see my hands before me. Oddly, the moment I think that, the fog disperses, giving me a clear view of my hands and the rest of my body. I’m about to clamp down on my body’s flames that have embarrassingly slipped from my control during the high stress in the capsule, when the immense ursu appears before me.

Any thought of controlling myself slips my mind as I look up at the giant before me. He’s bigger than twice as tall as any other ursu I’ve seen. The same ursu I saw tear open the thick metal of the sphere I was in right before… whatever happened.

The sheer presence he exudes is enough to have me shivering in terror. It feels like I am looking at the titan all over again. This is a being that can cause incredible damage simply by existing. A natural disaster.

“Settle your mind, child. I shall not harm you.” His deep yet soft voice reverberates through my chest. It feels like I am being shaken by each word.

“Many trials lay before you. Should you leave the Void with your mind intact, you must do as I say.” The huge ursu takes a seat before me and continues, his voice heavy with controlled power. “Consolidate your thoughts, direct them solely toward your greatest desire. Only then will your mind remain through the changes to come. Determine your true desire and verify within yourself that you shall never regret the consequences of fully achieving that desire.” His voice sounds somewhat sad as he speaks the last words.

“Do not fear the changes. Do not hate the changes. For they are a reflection of everything you are and everything you will become. Do not make the same mistakes as I; live for yourself and not another, lest you watch the world you love decay around you.”

With his words given, the large ursu does something that looks like a flex of all his muscles at once, creating a ripple within the Void Fog, and he disappears. Now, the space where he sat is as empty as everywhere else in the void.

I’m not sure what that man was talking about, but I don’t want to stay for the fog to send me to all those dangerous places again.

I try to do what I did last time, sending out a shell of flame around me to create that weird effect that takes me out of the Void Fog. The moment I try to do it, the fog seems to condense around me. Outside my flame shell, the fog seems to flicker and weaken, but the strength of the Void grows to a point of near suffocation.

It won’t work. I don’t know what’s different this time, but I won’t be able to escape the same way I did before.

Well, it doesn’t matter that much. Because of the Void Fog, I am alive. I thought there was no chance of survival after they’d forced me to enter the capsule, but now I’m alive and free. It doesn’t matter that I’m trapped in the Void Fog. I’ve got out once before, I’m sure I can do it again.

I plan to walk until I appear in one of the odd locations hidden by the fog, but upon taking my first step, I know something is different. Wrong.

The fog grows dense around my body and I can feel it trying to worm its way in. I can’t keep my form from reverting completely to fire, and nothing I do brings it back under control.

I struggle against the fog, but the more I move, the more restrictive the fog becomes. Sudden intense emotions wash over me for no discernible reason. Love for my family, hate for the Henosis, helplessness, terror, anxiety, hope. All the most intense feelings I’ve felt in my life flood through my mind.

I find I can no longer feel my body or the flames that should be attempting to burn out at the Void Fog. My thoughts are the only thing I have, and yet they are barraged by memories, both good and bad, but all intense. I feel everything as I did when everything happened.

The sorrow and grief of losing Mummy.

Terror in the presence of the Titan.

Joy as I spend time with Leal.

The uncertainty within the furnace.

Burning hatred after Gloria’s betrayal.

Suspicion and distrust as I interact with Ash, Leslie, Kerry, and the twins.

Being happy yet ashamed that my mistrust proved misplaced.

Confusion in the Void Fog.

And finally, the complete hopelessness in the grasp of the Henosis.

The Void Fog rips through my consciousness, taking and exposing all my inner thoughts and memories and forces me to experience them once again. My thoughts begin to fray, latching onto each of the feelings that come with them. Some parts of me want to reminisce in the good times with my family, while others want to chase my hatred for Henosis or cower in fear of the world.

I can feel my mind peeling in thousands of directions, all wanting their own paths, all with their own desires. The giant ursu’s words are replayed in my mind and I finally understand this is what he was talking about. I need to take control before I lose myself.

I clamp down on each frayed part of my consciousness, untangling them from the winding they attempt to create for themselves and bundle them back within. What is it I desire most? I love my family, but they are already gone, no desire I have for them to return will ever be achieved. My hatred for the Henosis is severe, but the ursu’s words echo in my mind. I don’t want my life to be defined by a desire to avenge.

No, what I really want is the freedom to live. It always has been, even after I was forced to travel alone after losing my tribe. I never gave up. Not once did I give up moving in the desert despite the seeming futility. I want to live and never be at the mercy of someone else’s whims.

I don’t want to be caged.

Never again do I want to be trapped.

I want to be free.

Something changes. I can feel the fraying fragments of my mind, bundled together in a figurative hand. It tightens, weaving together into an impossibly tight rope. It is incredible, yet terrifying. My mind warps and I can feel an instinctual need, a want, no, a true desire to survive and remain free no matter what. The rope of my consciousness won’t fray even should I want it too.

Feeling of my body returns to me, and I know I have changed. Something is different within myself, but other than the rope of my conscience, I’m not sure exactly what.

I try to send a flame out to see if anything is different with it. The flame appears before me, sending away the Void that blocks my vision. The flame doesn’t look any different from usual, it doesn’t seem stronger, though it feels odd. It feels closer, more intrinsic to my thought, which is strange because as an áed I am already as close to fire as I can get.

Still within the darkness of the void fog, I feel a massive force slam into me. The booming of an explosion washes over me and I’m knocked on my back. An intense wind blows over me and I huddle down, hoping for it to stop.

It does.

The Void fog twists the landscape around me once more. Now I am within a cave with glowing inscriptions lining the walls. With a touch, I try to send my flame within the network, but I find the inscription rejects my flame as it tries to worm its way in. The inscription doesn’t react in any visible way other than to stop me from entering.

The cave has three passages leading out from the cavern. The inscriptions wrap the walls down each, highlighting each path with its bluish-white light. I chose a passage at random and soon my legs have me walking through a tight glowing walls as they close in around me.

I still find the underground claustrophobic, and while I’m glad I’m no longer in the pitch darkness pelted by the strong wind, I would rather be back at the lava lake under the volcano.

Passing the next turn in the cave, I find the world opens up to a clear open space. I spin to find the cave is no longer behind me, instead the memorable volcanic magma-fall greets my eyes. It’s surprising, but I’m not about to question the fog changing things positively for once.

I sit down beside the burning lake, enjoying the warmth it emanates. The Void Fog is strange. That’s not a new revelation, but I find it strange that I don’t feel trapped here like I did last time. The black mist doesn’t suffocate me anymore, it feels more comfortable somehow. I don’t feel the fear of what the area might transform into around me, even though I know I should.

I’m even tempted to go for a swim in the lake before me, but I don’t want to chance losing my clothes, so I hold myself back. Instead, I relax for the first time in what feels like ages, laying down at the shore of the lava. Without the birds blotting out the sky — even if the sky is just the blackness of the Void Fog — this area is much better. I just hope I won’t be taken away from here the moment I close my eyes.

How did this all happen? At one moment I thought I was gonna die to the Henosis weapon and the next the Void Fog had engulfed me once again, changing me in ways I can’t fathom. Where did it come from? Why did it happen? Did the weapon do what it was supposed to? Did those Henosis men intend to unleash the Void Fog?

I don’t know anything about the mist or what was in that orb they had me pumping heat into, but I don’t think they are the same. They must be linked somehow, but they feel so different that I just can’t accept that possibility.

Did the Void Fog save me?

Is it conscious?

I look around, expecting to see that giant ursu again. He’d appeared right before the darkness overtook everything, maybe he is linked somehow?

Does the Void Fog want something from me? Is that why it changed me? The thought incites a deep instinctual resentment stronger than anything I’ve felt. Just the thought that something might try to use me, to take away my freedom, is comparable to the indignation I felt when I found out how Gloria thought of me. It’s inexplicable that I feel this way about the possibility that an entity I don’t even know exists might want to manipulate me.

This is the change in my mind, isn’t it? Even the possibilities feel as horrible as if they’re actually real. There is a worry that my mind has been angled to follow the wishes of the Void Fog, but it contradicts heavily with my feelings now. If I am under its influence, why would I feel so strongly against doing what it wants?

My consciousness rope still pulls heavily in one direction, actually I feel far more aware of my soul than before. The bound rope of my consciousness is a far more physical thing within my mind than I would ever have been able to picture before. Looking closer, I see that each strand still has its own thoughts and desires, but none are given room to travel far out from the general direction of what I feel is my desire for freedom and survival.

Within the rope is one particular knot of thought and emotion, trying hard to twist away from the rest but heavily overpowered by the binds over all. Pulling at the knotted strands brings an intense hatred towards the Henosis, the General and Heisenberg to the forefront of my mind. I may be resolved to live for myself, but my resistant thoughts remain.

I still hold the full force of my resentment within me, but any suicidal thoughts I might have considered before to achieve vengeance are now gone, clamped down and unable to be accessed. I’m not disappointed to see them go, but it shows that my thoughts may not be complete. I’ll need to be careful that these partial thoughts don’t put me in danger in the future.

I snap back to the world around me, trying to push down the hatred I drudged to the surface. The landscape hasn’t changed; the volcano remains arching above. It is strange, I’ve stopped paying attention a few times now, usually it was enough to twist the surrounding landscape, but nothing is different.

My thoughts on the men who caused all the pain and suffering in my life don’t disappear. Instead, they amplify as I think about the horrid loss of control they caused in my life. I want nothing more than for them to be right in front of me so I can burn them alive for all the terror and pain they’ve caused me, my family and friends.

The Void Fog thickens before my eyes, wrapping me in darkness and taking the lava lake away from me. I don’t know how to explain it, but I feel the darkness move around me. It moves, all the while remaining still. My head is travelling at the speed of a train while my feet are still. I feel like I’m spinning, but the ground under my feet is solid.

Everything lurches to a stop and I jerk against the motion, but I was never moving so the attempt at keeping upright just sends me sprawling.

I stand once more and the Void Fog thins. Before me, looking around in confusion, is the General of the Henosis army. At his feet is the mutilated body of Heisenberg.