A Family of Witches

“I’m sorry that you can’t wear the pendant while we’re doing this,” Lorrie told Ares.

He shrugged. Ever since he’d told his friends what happened a few days ago, Ares had been using whatever excuse he could not to wear the pendant. Today, it was that the spirits they’d be talking to might not react well to the presence of active magic. So he looked like a girl right now, with his hair up in a ponytail.

Ares and Lorrie arrived at the disused stone circle. They knelt down and placed their baskets on the ground. Lorrie scattered herbs while Ares pulled out a necklace of beads and put it on. The beads were inscribed with runes that would help him to focus and channel his energy.

“Are you ready?” Lorrie asked.

“I am.”

Lorrie sat down on her knees a short distance away. Ares sat down and crossed his legs, then closed his eyes. He slid into a meditative state, then slowly began chanting, “Spirits, hear me call. I welcome you to speak to me.” A short distance away, Lorrie muttered magical phrases under her breath.

Ares felt a gust of wind and a voice tickled his ear: “I am a spirit of the wind, Kaynox. Why did you call for me?”

Reaching into the basket to pull out a small bag of rare dust, Ares replied, “First, I offer you this gift, Kaynox. Please accept it as a token of my gratitude for your presence.”

He placed a little bit of dust in his open palm and held it up to the sky. After a moment, another gust of wind blew and the dust was blown away. Ares lowered his hand and heard the voice in his ear again.

“Thank you, human. What answers do you seek?”

“Tell me about yourself and your journeys, spirit,” Ares replied.

“Very well.”

Kaynox described some of the places that it had traveled. Ares didn’t recognize all of them, but thought he could pick out a few: the cliffs of Dover, the Sahara Desert, the Tianzi mountains. When Kaynox felt like it had described enough, Ares thanked it for its time and dismissed it.

“How did that go?” Lorrie asked.

“Pretty good. I’m definitely getting better at summoning them.”

“Are you ready to do another?”

“Yeah. Let’s keep going.”

Ares made himself comfortable and then started chanting again. After about a minute, he felt another voice tickle at his ear. This one was named Darigan. Again, Ares offered it a gift and it accepted. He talked with it for a while, then dismissed it.

After the fourth spirit, Ares took a deep breath and got up to stretch. Lorrie stood up and walked over.

“Do you want to keep going?”

“I’m starting to feel a little exhausted,” Ares admitted. “I think we should call it off before I start making mistakes.”

“Very well,” Lorrie said, stooping over to pick up her basket. “Let’s get home.”

Ares grabbed his own basket and started walking back. On the way, he took the ribbon out of his ponytail and let his hair down. He couldn’t help running his free hand through it a bit, feeling how smooth and silky it was.

“You’re making good progress,” Lorrie said. “I think you’re going to impress that teacher of yours. Mr. Anagonye, right?”

“That’s right. I’m not sure I’ll be the best in the class, though, especially if I’m sharing that class with Sarah Bryant.”

“Is this what you think you’re going to specialize in, then?”

“Yeah,” Ares admitted. “I think it is. There are just a lot of things that you can do if you can talk to animals and spirits. I could work with weather spirits or search for resources with the help of earth spirits or, Hell, I could just work at a zoo if I wanted. I don’t think it’ll be hard to find something to do with my certification.”

Once they were inside, Ares and Lorrie took off their shoes. Before the conversation could continue, they heard the sound of someone coming down the stairs. Ares looked up to see Hestia coming toward them with a smile on her face.

“Lorrie,” she said, reaching them, “I had an idea on how to help Ares that I want to run by you.” Turning to Ares, she continued, “I’ve redoubled my effort to help find a solution and I promise you that we’re going to find something soon.”

“Thank you, Tia,” Ares replied. “But you know I’m not upset at you anymore.”

“Still, I owe you that much.”

Lorrie replied, “I have a little bit of work to do. We can talk about this more later, Hestia.”

“Well,” Ares said, “I’m going to hang out with Dora. I’ll see you two at lunch.”

“Wait,” Lorrie said, taking the pendant off of a coat hook by the door. “You forgot this.”

“Right. Thank you, Lorrie.”

Ares stuck the pendant in his pocket and started up the stairs. First, he ran up to his room to grab something out of the clothes box his mother had given him. Walking back down with the contraband in his hands was nerve-wracking, but Ares didn’t run into anyone. He knocked on Pandora’s door and waited for her to answer. It was difficult not to fidget. Ares knew that there wasn’t anything suspicious about what he was doing, but he was still a little nervous. Pandora opened the door.

“You ready to play?” she asked.

“I am,” he replied, walking inside and closing the door.

They’d been making time to play together a little bit every day. It was mostly for Ares, since this was the only time he got to… experiment. His heart was hammering in his chest. Ares laid the pendant down on the table and took a few slow, deep breaths.

“What are we going to do today?”

“I… I was thinking…” He wrung his hands together a little bit. “Could we… I mean… I’d like it if we… Can we have a tea party?”

Pandora’s eyes lit up and she nodded feverishly.

“Alright,” Ares said. “I… um… brought something for this.”

He unfolded the blue dress that he’d pulled out of the box in his room. Dora squealed in delight and clasped her hands together. Ares just blushed deeply. He changed while Dora stared at the corner, and when she turned around to see him wearing it Dora grabbed Ares in a tight hug.

“It’s so pretty,” she said, making Ares blush further.

They sat down at a small table and Pandora pulled out her tea set. She ran downstairs to fill the tea pot with water and returned with a magic tea bag that would heat up the water for them. Pandora poured each of them a cup of tea.

They talked until lunch time; once or twice Ares even giggled. When Pandora got the message on her tablet that it was time for lunch, she went ahead while Ares stayed behind to change. He had to quickly drop the dress off in his room before heading down to the dining room. Ares made sure to put the pendant on before entering. Everyone else was already seated with a plate and talking.

“Sorry about that,” he said, cringing at the sound of his own voice. “I had to run up to my room real quick.”

“It’s alright, dear,” Vega said. “But hurry up and dig in before the food gets cold.”

Ares sat down and started eating while everyone around him engaged in conversation. Occasionally, someone would ask him a question and he’d respond, or he’d interject with a comment of his own. It was a very relaxing meal.

For the most part. It didn’t take long for Ares to shift uncomfortably in his seat. His voice was still bothering him. His short hair was bothering him. Every time someone looked at him, Ares had to suppress the urge to fall through the floor and disappear forever.

It was always like this whenever he wore the pendant, now. That’s why he’d been looking for so many excuses not to wear it. But there were times when he just had to, usually whenever Eris was around. But he hated being seen this way so much and he didn’t understand why!

“Ares, are you alright?” Eris asked.

Ares looked up to see everyone staring at him. Eris and Pandora were frowning. Hestia and Vega looked worried. Lorrie kept a neutral expression, but was watching Ares intently.

“I’m fine,” Ares said, “just a little tired from earlier, that’s all. I promise.”

He tried to smile. It didn’t look like they were buying it. But they were looking right at Ares and that was making him more uncomfortable.

Why couldn’t they just look at him the way that Dora looked at him when they were playing? When he was pretending to be a girl. He always felt more comfortable around her than anyone else. But when the rest of them looked at him, especially with the pendant on, they were seeing a boy. And it was still making him feel a little left out.

Ares wasn’t stupid: he knew that he wasn’t really a girl. But he wished that they’d treat him a bit more like one for just a little bit. He’d be willing to pretend to be a girl for a bit if it meant fitting in better.

“I’m fine, really,” Ares said softly. “You don’t have to worry about me.”

“Does it have anything to do with your situation?” Lorrie asked.

“I wasn’t even thinking about that,” Ares lied, forcing himself to grin.

“Well, if you’re sure,” Vega added. “But don’t be afraid to tell us if you need help with anything.”

“I will.”

That afternoon, Ares only got a little bit of time to himself without the pendant before having to put it back on. He and Eris had been planning to spend some time together to play games and Ares wasn’t missing out on that. So he finished his homework and walked next door to Eris’ room. She opened the door and handed Ares a controller.

“Let’s get started, shall we?”

Ares and Eris plopped onto the bed and booted up the game: War Machines, about androids fighting against a robot army trying to wipe out humanity. It was one of Eris’ favorites. She got so excited and it was always a treat for Ares to see.

Of course, today it was a little difficult for Ares to enjoy the game. He was doing his best to ignore the discomfort and focus on the screen. Ares always chose Exandria, one of the female-coded androids, to play as. He’d always liked playing female characters for some reason, but now he was a little afraid that Eris might read too much into it and get upset.

Ares wasn’t doing as well as he normally did. It was just hard to ignore how wrong his body felt at the moment. Why did every day get a little harder than the last? He didn’t understand it at all.

“You’re clearly not okay, Ares,” Eris finally asked as a match ended. “Something has clearly been bothering you for a while. What is it? I want to help, but you have to tell me. You have to trust me, Ares. I’m your sister and I want to be able to do something.”

“I know you do,” Ares replied, letting his shoulders droop. “But it’s really not a big deal. I think everyone just wants to help so much that they’re seeing more problems than there really are. I promise you that I’m okay.”

Eris sighed, but replied, “Alright. Whatever,” and started the next match.

Ares felt bad about lying. Obviously he was not okay. He couldn’t shake his worries about what he felt during lunch. What did it mean for him that he wanted to be seen as a girl? Why? What was wrong with him? It was such a weird thing for him to fixate on.

It wasn’t too hard for Ares to go on autopilot. He wasn’t playing as well as he normally did, but he was getting through the matches and Eris didn’t ask anymore questions. She still looked a little annoyed, but at least she didn’t confront Ares. Ares had some time to think.

He really did enjoy pretending to be a girl around Dora. Did that really mean that he wanted to act like a girl around everyone else? Would he be willing to wear a dress if nobody called him out on it? How could he convince them that he was just doing it for the unique experience and not because he really wanted to be a girl? After all, he didn’t. Right?

Ares wanted to talk about it to someone. Eris was his closest sister and he should be able to trust her more than anyone. But she just wanted things to go back to normal as soon as possible. If anyone would react badly to Ares acting all girly, it would be her, even if he was only doing it for a short while.

What about the others? Pandora would support him, of course, but everyone else? Ares imagined Hestia hugging him and calling him her sister. A warm fluffy feeling bubbled up inside of him. Yeah, that made him feel pretty good. Or Lorrie and Vega could call him their daughter. That made his heart leap.

Maybe if he was a girl for real he’d finally feel like he fit in with the family.

“Ares? Earth to Ares?”

“Huh?”

Eris was looking right at him, her brow furled in concern.

“You were totally spacing out,” she told him.

“Oh, sorry, I guess I was caught up in my thoughts there for a while.”

“What’s on your mind, bro?”

He winced. Why did she have to call him that of all things?

“So…” His mouth was dry. “You wear dresses and paint your nails, right?”

“Uh… yeah? I’m a girl. A lot of us like those things.”

“When you got your ears pierced, were you like… excited that you got to wear earrings?”

Eris rubbed the back of her neck.

“I guess?” she said. “I had been asking to get it done for years. Why?”

Ares shrugged.

“Were… were you thinking of getting your ears pierced?”

A warm blush crept into Ares’ cheeks.

“Well, a lot of boys do now,” he mumbled. “But, like, I couldn’t wear really pretty earrings without people thinking I was weird, right?” Eris looked uncomfortable. “Look, forget it. My mind just goes to weird places sometimes.”

“Alright… do you want to play another round?”

“Yeah, sure.”

Dinner wasn’t nearly as bad as lunch had been, but Ares had been wearing the pendant for a while and was eager to take it off again. It felt like everyone was watching him like he was a bomb about to go off. He couldn’t blame them; Ares was an emotional wreck.

Afterward, Ares returned to his room and finally, finally took the pendant off, letting his real body show once more. He sat down at his desk and put his headset on. His friends would be online shortly and it would be good to talk to them for a while.

“Hey, Ares,” came the first person.

“Hey, Samantha!”

“Oh jeez! I forgot about your voice!”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Ares’ heart sank. “I can put the pendant back on if you want.”

“No, no, it’s okay. You don’t have to do that. I was just surprised. We’ll get used to it.”

“Thank you, Sam.”

Slowly, the rest of his friends joined the call. Brittany joined for the first time in nearly a week, and everyone had to explain what had happened to Ares. She spent nearly a full two minutes laughing. Ares couldn’t help but grin.

A small ping alerted Ares to the fact that he’d gotten a DM. He checked it; it was from Mercedes. She was already in the call, so what did she want to talk about? He opened the message.

Hey, it read. So it turns out that I’m going to be busy on the day I’d planned to come over. My transmutation tutor is coming that day to check on how much progress I’ve made. Sorry that I won’t get to be there.

Oh. That was a little disappointing, but it couldn’t be helped. Ares quickly typed back a reply.

No problem. We’ll find another day for you to come over. I know that Eris has been wanting to see you for a while now.

He returned his attention to the conversation that was going on, but before long he got another ping.

If I’m being completely honest, she’d written, I think it would probably be really awkward if I were to visit right now. Even if I wasn’t busy I might have just had to opt-out to avoid that.

Okay, that one stung a little more.

He wrote back, You’re forgetting that I have the pendant and I’m going to wear it while Finley’s here. You wouldn’t have to—he paused, unsure of how to phrase it—see me in girl form at all.

Her reply came quickly: Yeah, but it would have been weird since I know what you actually look like right now. I’m probably just going to stay away until the problem is fixed.

Ouch. “Problem.” She couldn’t know that the things she was saying would hurt him. But it still kind of sucked that she said it at all. He tried to lighten the mood with a joke.

Jeez, I guess you just wouldn’t like me if I was a girl.

She did not take it well.

But you’re not a girl! Even if you look like one. That’s my whole point. It’s so weird that you look like that when it’s not who you really are and I don’t think I’d be comfortable around that. I need to set a boundary right now. I’m sorry.

That hurt. That hurt a lot. Ares wasn’t sure why. He wasn’t a girl. But he wanted people to see him as one, for whatever reason,

Would it really be such a bad thing if I wanted to act like a girl sometime? he wrote. I could wear dresses and grow out my hair and get my ears pierced if I wanted to, you know.

I don’t care how you act, Mercedes replied. Do whatever you want. I just don’t like the idea of you pretending to actually be a girl when you’re not one.

“Um… I need to go for a bit,” Ares told the call.

“Oh. Okay.”

“See you soon, Ares.”

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he lied, choking back a sob before leaving the call.

He leaned back in his chair and buried his head in his hands. It wasn’t even a big deal. He wasn’t really a girl. Why did it hurt so much? Ares knew that he wasn’t going to stay this way, but he wanted to indulge for a little bit. It wasn’t fair that he didn’t get to.

Maybe he really was in the wrong. Part of Ares felt like he was just a tourist, pretending to be a girl for a while without having to commit to it for real. But it’s not like there would be anything wrong if one of his sisters wanted to cut their hair short and dress and act like a boy for a while.

After a while, Ares managed to quell the tears and take a deep breath. He wasn’t any closer to finding answers, but he wasn’t crying anymore. Ares joined the call again.

“Sorry about that,” he said. “What’s going on?”