A Family of Witches

“Make sure that you cut the tomatoes into small enough pieces,” Vega said, peeking over Ares’ shoulder at the ingredients he was preparing. Ares nodded and hummed in reply.

He had taken the pendant off to “let it recharge,” so he was in the kitchen in girl mode. Vega had tied his long hair up in a bun for him, and he was wearing skinny jeans and a v-neck shirt. One of Vega’s favorite frilly aprons completed the look.

“Does this look good?” he asked.

“You’re doing fine,” Vega insisted, not looking away from the pork.

“I just want to get this right.”

“Cooking is an art, Ares. You have to feel your way through and only get better with experience.”

Ares nodded and took a deep breath. He didn’t need to feel nervous about this. Vega had been right: this was helping to keep him calm and centered. As long as Ares was working on food, he wasn’t thinking about his problems.

“I was pleasantly surprised that you wanted to learn about cooking and kitchen magic,” Vega said. “What made you interested?”

“Oh, you know,” he replied, shrugging. “It’s an old form of magic and I don’t think enough people appreciate it.”

“That’s a really mature way of looking at it. I’m glad that you said something.”

Ares nodded. That hadn’t been a lie per se, but it certainly wasn’t the whole truth. He didn’t really want to admit that cooking in the kitchen helped him to feel like he was a real girl. It made him feel ashamed, actually; Ares knew that thinking that way was reductive and a little sexist. But cooking made him feel girly and that made him feel good.

“I’m really excited to have someone to teach!” Vega said. “This was always my favorite thing to learn growing up and I’m going to do my best to give you a solid foundation before you get back to school.”

Ares began working on the salad and let his mind wander. He enjoyed the idea of being a girl so much. Was this really the magic of the wish affecting his mind or was it something else? He’d been mulling the idea over in his head for a couple of days and he wasn’t sure what to think.

When he was really young, Ares had once seen his sister wearing a dress and asked why he didn’t get one. Lorrie had to explain to him that dresses were something that only girls wore, and he had cried about that. But he had learned a valuable lesson that day: there were things that boys weren’t allowed to do. Growing up, he’d idly wished that he could have his nails painted and get his ears pierced like his sisters, but knew that he’d be laughed at for it by his friends at school. Was it just the fact that he’d grown up in a family of girls that shaped his experience, or would Ares have always wanted to do feminine things if he knew he wouldn’t be mocked for it?

He thought of himself in boy mode wearing a dress and having his nails painted and having long hair. It didn’t make him feel great. People would still see him as a boy doing feminine things. But if he was in girl mode, without the pendant, they’d see him as a girl, and that was much more appealing.

“Hey there, you two.”

Ares turned away from the salad to see Eris and Hestia walking into the kitchen, sweating through their exercise clothes. They’d been outside practicing combat magic for a while. When Eris saw Ares, she frowned slightly and Ares looked away, crossing his arms as if it would hide the frilly apron.

“Hey, Vega,” Hestia said, before turning to Ares and giving him a sweaty hug. “How are you doing, Ares?”

“I’m okay. Cooking is a lot of fun, if a lot of work.”

“I’m sure whatever you make will be great.”

Once everything was ready, Vega gave Ares a kiss on the forehead and he put the apron away before heading upstairs. He’d promised himself he’d wear the pendant during meals, if only for Eris’ sake. He rushed back downstairs so he was back in the kitchen to help Vega move the food into the dining room.

“This looks good, Ares,” Lorrie said, heaping a bit of salad onto her plate. “You should be proud.”

There was a murmuring of agreement from around the table. Ares sat down, his heart fluttering with joy. He was so glad that he’d asked to help out with lunch.

This meal wasn’t nearly as bad as it had been in days past. Wearing the pendant was always a little uncomfortable, but he was in such a good mood that it didn’t bother him today. He could pretend to be a boy for a little while.

Unfortunately, Finley was coming to visit shortly after lunch, so Ares didn’t get to spend much time without the pendant on. He kept an eye on his messages, and when Finley said he was about to leave, Ares rushed downstairs to be at the door. He had just enough time before Finley knocked. Ares swung the door open and grabbed Finley in a firm hug, which he returned.

“Good to see you again, bro,” Finley said.

Ares winced, but replied, “Good to see you too, bro. Let’s head upstairs.”

“Your house is too tall, Ares. Every time I see it I’m stunned.”

“I know. It’s good cardio getting up and down all those stairs, though.”

Once they were up in his room, Ares turned on his laptop and pulled up a video for them to watch. They sat down on the bed together, and the video quickly became background noise as they talked. Finley had spent most of the summer on vacation to Ireland to see his extended family, but had been hard at work with his divination studies as well.

“So,” Finley finally said. “What's been going on with your… situation? You haven’t said much about it since you brought it up the first time.”

“The first couple of days were pretty hard, but having a girl’s body didn’t really suck as much as you’d think it would, you know? I mean, everyone has wondered what it would be like to be a girl.”

“Really? I haven’t.”

Ares felt a cold sweat starting to form.

“I mean,” he continued, “everyone was pretty surprised, but I think they’ve gotten used to seeing me without the pendant on anymore. Except for Eris. She’s taking the whole thing harder than anyone else is. Hey, do you think we’ll have any classes together again this year?”

“I hope so. Maybe if we’re lucky Eris and Mercedes will be with us.”

“It would be great to have the four of us together in at least one class, yeah.”

Finley didn’t know about the argument Ares had with Mercedes a few days before. He tried not to let it sting too much. But deep down he couldn’t help imagining himself hanging out with Mercedes as a girl instead of with Finley as a boy.

“Let’s hang out outside,” Ares finally said, standing up and pausing the video. “There’s not a lot to do in here.”

“We should ask Eris to come.”

“Um… I’d rather it just be the two of us, if that’s okay.”

The two made it downstairs and headed outside. As soon as they were out of sight of the house, Ares took off the pendant and stuck it in his pocket. His heart was hammering in his chest. How would Finley react?

Finley was slack-jawed at the transformation.

“Dude, you look a lot like your sisters,” he finally said.

Ares couldn’t stop a small smile from forming on his lips. They continued to talk, and now Ares didn’t have the constant background hum of discomfort that came from wearing the pendant. Eventually, the two wound up at the circle of stones, where they took a seat on one of the larger ones.

“This year, I’m going to ask Angelica Williams out on a date,” Finley said. “See if I don’t!”

Ares giggled.

“I’ve never really felt the need to ask anyone out,” he mused. “I’ve never really been attracted to guys or girls.”

“You think you’re asexual?”

“I don’t think so. Besides, Tia is ace and she has a boyfriend. I just can’t imagine myself being in a relationship.”

He tried to, though. Ares, in boy mode of course, hanging out with a guy and kissing him, or holding his girlfriend’s hand. It didn’t really hold that much appeal. 

Then the image shifted and it was him in girl mode, wearing a dress and cuddling up with another girl. Ares’ face started to burn. Then he imagined a boy running their fingers through his hair and his blush intensified. And then suddenly there was a boy and a girl, sitting on either side of him and resting their heads on his shoulders and Ares’ heart almost burst out of his chest.

“You okay?” Finley asked.

“I’mfinethanksforasking!” Ares blurted out. He shook his head to regain his composure and said, “I doubt I’m going to be asking anyone out anytime soon, regardless.”

A comfortable quiet settled between them. The only sound was the soft rustling of leaves overhead. Ares sat his hands in his lap and twiddled his thumbs a bit.

“Hey, Finley,” he began, “How would you feel if I started doing things like wearing dresses and painting my nails? But only when I look like this?”

Finley frowned.

“How long are you planning to stay like this?” he asked. “I thought your family was trying to find a solution.”

“They are. But who knows how long that’ll take? Shouldn’t I try to enjoy the experience while I can? I’ll never have another opportunity to get away with that stuff.”

Finley shrugged.

“I guess,” he said. “You should do what you want to.”

Ares let go of the breath he’d been holding.

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For being okay with it.”

“Yeah, of course.”

Finley couldn’t stay for much longer. Instead of heading back to the house, Finley just said goodbye to Ares at the stone circle and pulled a small teleportation stone out of his pocket. They hugged one last time, Ares’ breasts getting awkwardly in the way, and Finley activated the stone, disappearing in a flash of orange light.

Ares decided not to go back home. It was getting a little late. Vega had probably already started dinner. But he wasn’t ready to go back. Ares wasn’t ready to put the pendant on and go back to pretending to be… to looking like… to being a boy. What exactly was wrong with Ares that he couldn’t even keep that straight?

Instead of walking home, Ares made his way to Amaryllis’ glade. He was twitching nervously as he walked inside and had to take a few deep breaths to steady himself. This was nerve-wracking.

“Amaryllis!” he cried.

“Hello, Rosebud.” Ares glanced over to see Amaryllis standing there. “Did you need something?”

“Can we talk?”

Amaryllis nodded and walked over. The two sat down and Ares hugged his knees close to his chest. Then he started to cry.

“Wait, what’s wrong?” Amaryllis asked. “Why are you crying?”

“Because I like being a girl!” Ares cried. “I like looking like a girl and being seen as a girl and feeling like a girl. I… I don’t… I’m not sure if I even want to go back to being a boy anymore. I know I should. I know I’m supposed to be a boy. But I don’t know if I want that.”

He started to hyperventilate. Amaryllis placed a warm hand on his back and Ares tried to take slow, deep breaths. Hot tears streaked down his cheeks and he kept sniffing to keep snot from running down his face.

“I like the idea of being a girl so much,” he said. “And I think I have for a long time.”

Amaryllis was quiet for a few moments.

“Well,” she began, “I’ve told you before that I don’t know a lot about whatever gender is, or much about humans in general. I don’t have any idea what you’re supposed to be, Rosebud, but if you want to be a girl then you should definitely be a girl. I think that might make you happier than what you’re trying to be.”

“I… I don’t know if I actually want to be a girl,” Ares replied, sniffing. “I feel dirty, like I’m trying to steal an identity that I’m not really a part of.”

“Well, do you want to be a boy?”

Ares shook his head.

“I thought not. Can I tell you a story, Rosebud?”

Ares nodded.

“Alright. It’s a story I heard when I was a lot younger. I didn’t think much of it at the time but it reminds me of you. There was once a fish living in the ocean. He had the entire ocean to explore to his heart’s content, and he did. He traveled across reefs and valleys and trenches and kelp forests all across the world. For a while, he was very happy.

“But then he learned about birds, and how they spent their lives in the air flying from place to place, exploring the skies like how fish explore the ocean. His heart ached because he too wanted the opportunity to explore this whole new world. So he pleaded with the spirits of the air to be transformed into a bird.

“Initially, they refused. He continued to plead, though, and they warned him that if they granted his wish he would forever lose the ability to swim in the oceans of the world. That gave him pause, but he was desperate to fly and continued pleading. Eventually, the spirits relented and granted the fish the body of a bird instead. For the rest of his life he soared through the sky, so much happier for the experience. Even though he had given up everything, he had gained so much more in return.”

Ares had started leaning up against Amaryllis as she told the story, and she’d wrapped her arm around his shoulders. He’d stopped crying, at least.

“Thank you for that,” Ares said. “But I don’t really want to think too hard about it right now. Can we just sit here for a while?”

“Of course, Rosebud.”

They sat in silence. The shadows started to get longer. It would be dinner soon and Ares was starting to get hungry. Eventually, he had to detach himself from Amaryllis and stand up.

“Thank you,” he said. “You’ve given me a lot to think about.”

“Of course. Let me know what you decide. And remember that you can choose what makes you happiest. You don’t have to justify it.”

Ares nodded and tried to smile.

“Goodbye, Amaryllis.”

“Goodbye, Rosebud.”

Ares walked home as slow as possible. Had dinner started yet? Probably not. The sun wasn’t too low in the sky. But he wasn’t in a hurry. His mind was roiling.

Once the door was closed behind him, Ares stuck his hand in his pocket and grabbed the pendant. He didn’t take it out, though. Ares didn’t want to wear it.

The dining room was empty. He could hear Vega still working in the kitchen. Maybe Ares should offer to help; maybe it would clear his head. He didn’t want to think about this. He didn’t want to have to come to a conclusion.

Instead, Ares returned to his room and locked the door. He laid out on the bed and turned the pendant over and over in his hands. Did he want to be a girl? Could he if he wanted to be? Was it really that simple? By her own admission, Amaryllis didn’t understand gender. But Ares wanted to believe that she was right.

He chased the idea around his head for a bit. It added up. Being a girl would make him happy. At the very least, he’d no longer feel uncomfortable because people saw him as a boy. He’d be able to stop wearing this stupid pendant. Ares wanted to be a girl. Not just temporarily. He wanted to be a girl forever. There was no denying it anymore.

“What am I going to do?!” he moaned.

His family was smart. Even though none of them specialized in transmutation magic, they’d find a way to turn him back eventually. He had to stop them. Even if he didn’t use the cure, once it existed it meant that his body could be taken away from him at any time. Ares had to avoid that at all costs.

The only way to stop them was to tell them all the truth. Pandora would be glad; she probably already suspected that Ares wanted to stay a girl. Eris would be the most reluctant to accept his decision. But Hestia? Vega and Lorrie? Ares wasn’t sure how they’d react. What if they didn’t accept him? Could he convince them that he really wanted to stay this way? Did he have any proof? Or would they think that his brain was addled by magic the same way Eris did?

Ares groaned and buried his face in his pillow. This wasn’t going to be easy. He wanted to scream.

“I have to tell someone,” he decided, getting out of bed.

Stuffing the pendant in his pocket, Ares got out of bed and left the room. He glanced at Eris’ door as he passed, his heart sinking. She was not going to take the news well when she eventually found out. Ares descended the stairs until he was standing outside of Pandora’s bedroom.

“Dora? Are you in there?” he asked, knocking.

After a few moments, the door opened and Pandora let Ares in. Ares’ heart was hammering in his chest. Dora smiled at Ares; she was practically bouncing on her heels. Did she know what was about to happen? She hadn’t learned any divination yet.

“Ares! Look what I can do!” she said, raising her hand palm-up.

Pandora closed her eyes and began humming softly. A small ball of glowing white light appeared in her hand. She grinned widely and held it up for him to see.

“I’ve been practicing!” she said.

“That’s good,” Ares replied. “I need to tell you something.”

“Oh? Okay! What is it?”

Ares took a deep breath and folded his arms. He had to look away from Dora and gulp. His entire body was shaking.

“I… I want… I’m gonna… stay… as a girl. For real. I’m going to be a girl from now on. And I don’t know if that’s a good thing, but it’s what I want to do.”

Pandora stared at Ares with her mouth open. Then she squealed and grabbed Ares in a hug, almost knocking him over. She even started jumping up and down.

“I get another sister!” she cried. “I’m so happy!”

Ares started to get choked up. She’d called him her sister. No, she’d called her a sister. There were tears in Ares’ eyes.

“Oh no, you’re crying,” Dora said. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Ares said, wrapping her arms around her little sister.

She wasn’t sure how she was going to tell the rest of her family yet. But that was a question for later. Right now, Ares was glad that Dora, at least, supported her.