A Salamander, but Mighty

POV: Aradra

The world she found herself in appeared as a dark parody of the place that had been her home during her existence as a human, and not only that: Aradra had her body back, her human body, and unlike the world around her, it was also in color. It was a surreal experience, as if she were trapped inside a nightmare, and perhaps it really was so.

The most important thing, however, was that her body had returned to normal—she was human again! Although for how long was uncertain, for sure, what she was experiencing at that moment wasn't something meant to last. Aradra still took a few minutes to touch her cheeks and stroke the smooth skin, parting her lips in deep relief; her hands had a rosy complexion, and her long fingers ended in nails that seemed to have the same color as the day she had painted them, just before she died and was transported to Tala.

"This isn't real, it's some kind of memory or something like that," she told herself, not daring to lower her gaze to see what damage her body had suffered since the way she died was shrouded in a fog hard to penetrate, and she had no desire to uncover the truth. "I want to try to go home."

She was afraid to do so, as it might reveal what had happened to her parents and brother after she died, but the desire to see her loved ones again was stronger than any fear. She began walking briskly toward her house, passing through a neighborhood of houses, trees, and children's playgrounds she knew well. She walked the short sidewalk to her front door and lowered her hand to the handle, opening it.

The interior structure was exactly as she remembered it, the real difference being that the house was completely empty: no furniture in the hallway, no pictures, not even the coat rack at the entrance, which was usually three-quarters covered with her father’s raincoats, hats, and scarves. It was as if no one had lived there for a very, very long time.

"It's so empty..." she murmured, wrapping her arms around herself and taking a few steps inside, leaving the door open behind her. She crossed her arms, pressing her hands to her elbows, and began to approach the spot where there had once been a side table where her father and mother had placed a collection of photos of her and her brother. That space was now empty, but in her mind, she could still see it there. "I wish I could have seen them again..."

"It was obvious they wouldn't be here," a voice identical to Aradra’s came from what, in her memory, was the living room. A figure identical to her but in shades of gray and black, with golden eyes and vertical, reptilian pupils, sat on the floor where the couch had been in Aradra’s memories. "They're gone, they're no longer here; it's just us now."

"I... I know they're gone, I just would have liked to see their faces one more time," she confessed, lowering her gaze. "I hoped I could at least see them in my mind."

"Maybe they're no longer here because you've forgotten them," her black-and-white copy replied. "After all, they've probably done the same. Who knows how much time has passed on Earth... maybe they're not even alive anymore, and right now your brother’s children are looking at your gravestone, wondering what kind of person you were."

Aradra bit her lower lip and stroked her arms. She didn't need to ask that copy who she was because she had already understood: that copy represented her fear of being forgotten, the idea that all her loved ones had moved on without her, turned the page, and she had ended up like that broken screwdriver her father had abandoned in the garage and forgotten to throw away.

"In the end, it would be normal if they did," Aradra replied to her copy, beginning to walk up the stairs. "If when a loved one dies, we aren’t allowed to eventually move on, it's as if we stop living."

"And you're okay with that? You're okay with being forgotten?" The copy asked, standing up and following a few steps behind her up the stairs. "Fading away into memory while you're fighting every day to stay alive inside the body of an overgrown salamander!"

"I know it was tough at first, but I've made friends, built a new family," she replied, reaching the top of the stairs where there were a bathroom, a storage room, and three bedrooms. "I just need to hold on a little longer, just a little longer..."

"How long have you been telling yourself that? Since the day you encountered that monster on the rivers of the Velenaria!" The copy raised her voice, sounding angry. "And every time things seem to get better, something terrible happens, and you fall flat on your face again!"

"...What do you want from me?" Aradra whispered softly, placing her hand on the handle of the door to her bedroom. It was probably empty, like the rest of the house, but she wanted to see it, just to know that her past life, though not perfect, had existed, and the happiness she had felt during those times wasn't just a dream destined to fade away.

"I want the pain to end." The copy declared, standing behind Aradra. "Aren't you tired? Aren't you tired of being kicked back into the dark pit you just crawled out of with so much effort? Is all this struggle worth it?"

Aradra remained silent, her right hand gripping the door handle. Was she tired of suffering? Of course, but her parents and brother had taught her to stay strong and persevere. Things couldn’t go badly forever—sooner or later, the situation would turn in her favor. She just had to hold on until then.

"Maybe they really are dead now, and they’re in heaven or something, maybe they're waiting for you. Don’t you want to see them again?"

"Velen and the others need me."

"You've lost them all! Continuing to fight will only bring you more pain!" The copy reached out, placing a firm hand on Aradra's shoulder. "They're lost! We’re all lost in this God forsaken world!"

Aradra closed her eyes slightly. "I can still save them, and I will save them all."

Aradra lowered the handle and opened the door: in front of her was not her bedroom but a dark, black forest under a scarlet sky. The leaves of the trees moved, stirred by a wind she couldn't feel. Aradra took the first step, and when her foot touched the grassy, damp ground, the house behind her vanished, leaving her once again alone in the forest.

But something was moving below the branches...