An Age of Mysterious Memories

Opening my vault door, I’m not all that surprised to see Leezahna timidly standing there, hopping back several feet to make way for my exit. I’m only slightly surprised to see Ixey, whose face is drawn over in a mixture of excitement, joy, and sorrow. Her half smile is comforting in a lot of ways. It shows that she knows me well enough that I can’t handle a lot of positivity at the moment. I’m almost surprised at that, since other than hanging out the one time, I hadn’t thought she’d spent any time getting to know me.

Still, I inhale a shuddering breath, unintentionally broadcasting my vulnerability to Leezahna who blinks in surprise. Passing the breath out through puffed cheeks and pursed lips, I raise an eyebrow her way, which tenses the skin around my forehead and the horns located thereupon. That’s still taking time to get used to. How can I be both tiefling and changeling simultaneously? Huff, not the time to try to figure it out Reggie. I know, I know.

When Leezahna addresses me, it’s with a fear and timidness that isn’t for herself as she pleads, “Schism, are we—is m-my m-m-mother going to make it through this war? Y-you w-w-wanted t-to—.“

Ixeyla interrupts her, setting a calming hand on her shoulder to help her out as she offers up, “Schism, Princess here knows she’s gotta get in on these brain link things you set up. No one else could finish them off, even with Illy having spell paper stuff. She’s worried that she should be spending what time we have left with her fam, despite distancing herself for good reasons. Are we winning?”

Well $%17. The honest answer is, currently, right now, probably yeah. I don’t want to give her false hope though, and take away her chance to choose to bond with her family, in case it does come down to last regrets. What the hell’s the right thing to do here? I guess I’ll just be as honest as I can.

Drawing and puffing another ragged breath, I start, “Right now? Yeah, yeah we are. Lil, Teuila, and I just got back from taking down over eight thousand of Terrorzin’s forces, and his greatest, most powerful archmage, and ending an experiment that could have stripped one of our greatest advantages. That play carries its own risk though. We’ve painted a target on our backs. He might not have known the Onyx Dawn was striking out before now, but Stormspire Peak disappearing into a crater will leave him pretty damn sure who’s acting against him now. If the previous siege was individual agents not reporting directly to him, he’s likely to now send closer to the full might of his forces this way.”

While Leezahna’s expression droops more and more, Ixey curses under her breath. Muttering, Ixey queries, “I guess no more kid gloves for anyone now, huh Schism?”

Nodding her way, I agree. I can’t give people a sugar-coated truth when they might need to make their final choices. And Terrorzin isn’t going to be holding back against us any longer, if he had been before now. It might take a day or two for news to really reach him, and another day or two for him to organize, since no one else can really safely traverse up and down above and below the Worldstorm. I’m sure there were witnesses though, forces at the edge of the collapse, or scouts outside Stormspire when it cratered. They’ll be reporting its fall.

Leeza turns and buries her face in Ixey’s shoulder, quivering, shaking, likely silently sobbing. Ixeyla pats her gingerly on the back and offers me a sad frown with a furrowed brow. Our dismal congregation in the dim light of the glow lichen feels as somber an affair as pretty much any could be right now. I make as if to leave, but Ixey shoots me a stern glance and shakes her head. Now my own brow is furrowed, but I think I understand.

I make sure to gather what’s left of my wealth, and anything that’ll sell decently well, because my external gem supplies are dwindling, and the non-casted versions of the runic gem-paste are ridiculously expensive. I can maybe chance casting a few of the networks nearer to the end of the night, when I’ve gotten most groups done. But most of the groups are going to need to be done without me spending SP, so that I can function throughout the eve.

Whispering telepathically to Ixeyla, I express, “Ixey, thank you. Thank you for helping steer Leezahna right, and showing her you care, and being there for her while she’s working on herself. I couldn’t—“

Her response interrupts me, “Stuff it Schism, it’s not even a thing. I made a friend, a weird one I wouldn’t normally have picked, but she’s nice enough. Get your head on right bud. It sucks, but it seems like the whole mountain, maybe the whole effing world is counting on you. You cracking under the pressure?”

Smirking, I snort a laugh as I nod in response, “Yeah, yeah I probably am. No choice but to keep moving forward though, right? Did—Ixey? Did you watch what—oh my gods. I’m sorry.”

I can’t even finish asking Ixeyla if she’d watched what happened during our mission from the security center. When her emotional wavelength wobbles violently and her chest spasms, wracked with a huge sob, I know. I know she saw what nearly happened to Lil, and what did happen to Lil. Drawing a ragged breath, I loose a nearly sobbed sigh myself as I set a hand on her shoulder. Maybe I shouldn’t have made the goggles after all. Not if they’re going to cause this much hurt.

Before I can wander further down the rabbit-hole of self-doubt, Ixeyla chastises, “I bet I know where your brain’s headed. I watched, I saw, and I don’t regret getting to see it. If my prince—if Sun—never came home, I’d have cherished every last second. So don’t you dare take it back, or unmake them, or whatever. Come on, let’s get those groups together, some of ‘em have been waiting since you left, to get those brain links up and running.”

Nodding a bit numbly, I agree and follow along behind Ixeyla as she leads Leezahna away towards the crafting area where some seating has been arranged. A host of Draconiacs and kobolds and a few human form dragons are hanging out. They’re nearly all members that I’d had Ixey’s help with plotting out the separate groups to link up in psychic networks, and some friends and acquaintances just chilling out with them as well.

When I sense Lucky approaching with Trixey, Pidge, and Alanea, my heart could soar. I know I wasn’t ready to see him, only a short while ago, but I rush to embrace him in thinkspace and meatspace. My son. Tears begin to flow once more, and my nostrils itch inside, causing me to sniffle. Does Lucky know how close we were to losing Lil or Teuila?

As if answering my unspoken question, I hear a vague telepathic voice querying, “Dragon okay? Lady-knight okay?”

Or at least, that’s about as much as I can make out, as far as what it sounds like he’s thinking. I nod to Lucky as I roughhouse with him, stroking his jowls and skull. I rest my forehead on his for a while, and my heart freezes momentarily in my chest.

Kinzul, my wife, tentatively asks, “My love? Are you well enough to speak?”

It breaks my heart that she has to ask, and it’s my own fault. Stop that. Hm? It’s no one’s fault that you struggle with your emotional health and mental wellbeing. She’s kind, compassionate, considerate. That’s all. Just be grateful that she is who she is.

Nodding along to myself, but also in response to Kinzul, I witness what seems like a grand procession approaching Mount Verdimenn from Mount Solace, led by Kinzul, Lil, and Teuila. It seems like pretty much everyone from the Onyx Dawn, or its newest allies and family members, are here. Well, except Aegis, Shield, our Quick, and our Dark, and Atter. Three of them are in the ‘Neath, while the other two are, ahem, conjugating.

A faint yet devious smirk plays across the faces of Kinzul, Illy, and Prinrin, simultaneously, in near-identical manners, as they catch wind of me thinking of conjugation. Ugh. Heh. Well, if anything was going to get me out of my own head, embarrassment over biological procreation processes would certainly be one of the things to do it. Oh stop, yes I heard myself you deviants. Loosing an internalized chuckle, I roll my eyes.

Still, I’m slightly apprehensive, waiting for Kinzul to speak. She offers up, “My love, feeling your Honoris Causa suffer, and dissipate, was a shock I nearly couldn’t bear. I thought for certain we’d lost you. I suppose I shouldn’t be quite so surprised that you’re more resilient than even an ancient dragon, with all you’ve been through. Yet still, that makes my heart ache for you all the more. Then upon your return, to feel your heart in turmoil, and your mind closing itself off—I. Please, know that I truly love you, and wish for your success and safe return, not solely to further the goal of the Order.”

Choking on my emotions, I gulp and blink away tears. I’d never have accused Kinzul of using me solely for the Order’s goals, or not loving me. Still, to hear her outright admit her love, in such a tender, vulnerable way, I, I just. Drawing a ragged breath, I rub my eyes on my bicep. Suddenly I’m catching an incoming missile in the form of Teuila as she sails my way gleefully. They’re ganging up on me to keep me unsteady on my feet and keep me from retreating into myself. If that’s the case though, then where’s—.

Her voice telepathically chimes like a chorus of angels, “I’m here too, my Hero. I knew you’d make it home. You’ll always come home to me. Always have, and always will. Won’t you?”

Hiccuping, I nod to Luni in thinkspace. How could I suggest otherwise? It’s not like I don’t want to return to them, to her, always. She, well, they, are what I’m fighting for, by and large. The congregation is frenetic, and I worry that I won’t be able to maintain my sanity as I attend to what needs to be done. Still, as I’m surrounded by Lil, Lu, Te, Lucky, Kinzul, Illy, Prinny, and more, my world is a little softer at the edges. I feel a little safer, warmer, and more stable.

Alanea surprises me by tugging on my sleeve and asking, “Well, um, dearling, are you, well, um, well? It sounds like you’ve, well, had an awful lot of excitement already for one day. Well, and, well, I think you need some time to breathe and decompress.”

Flashing a sad smile her way, I nod and agree. I really could use some time to breathe and decompress, but the war is only picking up speed. We need to finish every last preparation we can. I spy Farzhis and Veril standing near Littlebit, listening to her spiel about some trinket or another. That reminds me, our artificers are—. I need to thank Nala. She saved us all. The focus was key to our success against Al’pa’ca, and to our escape.

Crouching, I wrap my arms around Alanea for a moment and whisper, “You’re right, I really could, but I won’t get the chance. I hope you’ll forgive me, and try to help me stay sane throughout the rest of this war as it only gets harder from here. There’s still two more apocalypses to deal with after this one too.”

Alanea pales only slightly before she nods resolutely and hugs me tightly. Ixeyla and Lil are embracing as Teuila nuzzles against Alanea, group hugging the two of us. Lucky attempts to bowl us all over, while Illy stands nearby, and Kinzul wraps us all in her regal, massive embrace as her wings spring forth. It’s a small, short moment of affection. It’s the kind of feeling I need to remember. It’s what I want most in the world. To be safe, in the arms of those I love, and for them to be safe, healthy, and happy, in mine.

Nothing good lasts forever though.