An Age of Mysterious Memories

My beloved Wings hops up, leans in to kiss me on the cheek, and mumble-shouts something about training before rocketing away. My brows flick upwards before furrowing slightly. That’s Te for you. Always the most driven to be the strongest of us. I loose a half chuckle while watching her leave. Come on Reggie, you’re needed elsewhere apparently.

My lips draw back in a concerned, neutral expression while I approach the pair of Dormir. Farzhis virtually shouts into my mind, “Stop! Schism, please, don’ bring tha’ beautiful blue body any closer.”

Stunned, I stand next to Veril, blinking, and raise an eyebrow towards him. He pouts my way while shrugging. My guess is that Farzhee is going through withdrawal, like Indy, though not as hard, and normally she’d just, erm, conjugate with someone to take her mind off of it.

Sarcastically, Farzhee snips, “Ding ding, Schism go’ i’ in one, big surprise tha’ tha’ beautiful brain in tha’… tigh’… blue… horny… Ugh!”

I think—hope—Farzhis meant that I have horns, not that I look, erm, y’know. I’m still not used to having them. I gulp when Farzhee eyes up me and Veril both, hungrily. I can tell Veril wants to comfort her, in more ways than one, but he’s trying to be supportive in the way that Farzhis is indicating she needs, not what her addiction is showing that she wants.

Farzhis, our The-Blue, is mumbling something about needing an outlet, physical, that can’t be a guy. Slightly hurt that I fall into the category of guy for her, I keep my thoughts on the matter of my gender to myself. Casting my gaze about, I spy Ixeyla, and flick my eyebrows, requesting her presence. She shrugs, pecks Zayzi on the cheek and whispers something to her twin, then drags her lanky self on over this way.

On approach, Ixeyla starts, “’Sup Schism? Wha—oh, oh The-Blue is jonesing bad, huh? Whaddaya need me for?”

Responding, I answer, “You’re fond of, and highly ranked in, wrestling aren’—“

Farzhis interrupts in a fervor, “You, me, there, now!” practically pouncing on Ixeyla. She’s pointing to one of the less fruitful warrens, where they can’t do too much damage if they get a little carried away.

Ixey rubs the back of her head ruefully, and shrugs, nodding towards Farzhis. She mouths, “You owe me,” my way as the pair head into the warren to wrestle.

I do. I really do. I’m so glad Lil is in love with her, and that she’s a part of our life. She’s saved my arse on several occasions now, metaphorically at least.

Prinrin laments telepathically to me, “I wish Farzhis dear would come to me. I love her like my own Schism sweetie, always have. We’ve never really connected though the sweet dear. I suppose wrestling her runty stepmom isn’t what my sweet wants or needs at the moment though, eh Schism dearie?”

Responding to Prinny, I nod in meatspace to no one, “I suppose that’s how she feels right now at least, Prinny love. If you want to connect with someone that could use some comforting, about the same topic, I’m sure Veril here—“

Veril interrupts to hop into our psychic conversation, virtually shouting, “Yes please!” He then blushes fit to weld titanium, quite a feat for a Red to pull off, since his cheeks normally present quite red to begin with.

Prinrin and I both smirk, trying not to tease the obviously hormonal Veril, about his obvious attraction to Prinrin and Farzhis. I can’t blame him, both are wonderful, astounding women, that are beautiful in different ways, and both are creatures of lust in one fashion or another. Yes I see your devious grin from across the cave Prinny. I won’t tell you to behave yourself. You’re sweet, and wise, and I’m sure whatever you get up to tonight will be none of my business.

A slight guffaw reaches me as Prinny responds, “Oh stop, hush now Schism sweetie, I’m sure it’ll just be me, Illy, and Broke-One, swapping stories and keeping our minds occupied.”

Veril groans, and virtually collapses in on himself as he slumps, pouting, that it sounds like Prinny isn’t going to bed him tonight. Or perhaps that she used his nickname that Illy’d given him when he was a whelp. I can’t help wearing a rueful smile as I pat Veril on the back of one shoulder, while Prinrin approaches, surrounded by a gaggle of Draconiacs, most of whom are her children, all runts apparently. Hm, speaking of, is Miraina alright? Where’d she get off to?

Answering my unspoken question, Prinrin comments, “My poor sweet Pawn, she’s all twisted up inside finding out her attraction. Worse, the poor dear, she let it all out to the fake Illy last night, and isn’t ready to go through it again tonight with the real Illy.”

Oof, but also, my blood begins to boil, remembering that Harlequin of the Evil Claws was amongst us, and virtually had Pawn captive. My eyes flash red and my Honoris Causa vibrates with intensity at having to hold back my wrath. The main cavern chamber of Mount Verdimenn shakes at the colossal effort it takes me to rein in my anger. I spook a number of people, though thankfully My Anchor, and my wife are here to redirect my thoughts.

I’ve gotta be careful. We put the lock on my Honoris Causa, with the titling announcement, to prevent exactly the sort of thing that almost just happened. I’m so easily influenced by anger, and—.

Interruping my thoughts, Kinzul adds, “And compassion, mercy, love as well, my love. Your well of emotions runs vast, deep within you. Your heart beats within, fueling the endless well. May it never run dry of compassion and mercy. I beg that you simply try. Always try, to reach into it.”

Not intending to snark off at Kinzul, I can’t keep my brain from blurting out stupid questions, like, “Even for Terrorzin and the Damnations?” which pisses me off at my brain, because I’m sure it sounds hurtful, and dismissive. I’m sorry, my love. I wouldn’t have spoken the questions it begged aloud. Please—.

Smiling at me, Kinzul approaches and cups my cheek. She interrupts my thoughts to assure me, “I know, beloved, perhaps there are a few cases, exceptions that prove the rule. Quiet your mind and still your heart for a moment. Bask in the solace available for you, and that others take in you. I’ve rarely felt as much love in a single cavern in my very, very long life.”

My eyes wet as Kinzul absolves me. I loose a long sigh to take several deep breaths. She’s right, of course she is. I’d never argue otherwise. Still your thoughts Reggie, just drink it in. Be in the now for a moment. Prinrin has her children, something that is a miracle on Rayileklia for any dragon. Ixeyla has helped Leezahna, and is now helping Farzhis.

More, Littlebit and Nala are collaborating. Tiktik’s waiting and hoping for Littlebit to succeed in her research. There’s dozens of Spellknights, Yui and Yuri included, who marvel at the fact that gems are being passed around as snacks with no need for fighting anyone to earn them. I hope that Tiktik’s having decent luck using the shop I’d left her, to help get enough gems to keep the Gap-warrens kobolds healthy, and well-fed. I suppose it’s only been a day or two, they probably still have wealth left from Qlaxi’s hoard.

Sighing momentarily, I allow my mind to process its regret at Qlaxi’s death, my slaying of her. Lil chimes in along our telepathic bond, “I understand why hottie had to go Rej. I’m sorry it took me so long to understand some things, why you do what you do, the way you do it. I’m mega sorry pal, mega mega mega sorry.”

Sniffling, I rub my eyes as I float about the cavern, surfing towards my best bud, as he leans up against Lucky. I embrace the pair as best I’m able, physically and with my Honoris Causa. I don’t have any words for Lil that could absolve him any better than showing my love for him is endless, and unwavering. My best friend, who happens to be sort of my son-in-law, and my magic-digital-multi-being son are so important to me. I can’t begin to express it enough.

There’s a slight undercurrent of worry for Lucky running beneath my surface thoughts right now. He seems fine, but we’ve got no way to know what inner turmoil, what subconscious battle he might be fighting, with that strange ooze. Trixxie seems distraught, and seems to be taking solace, comfort, in Pidge. Her world has been flipped upside down. We were enemies, but Lucky wanted her as a friend, so she’s nearly an honored guest. Pidge too for that matter, though Pidge seems less concerned, and more disoriented.

Wait, that’s right. Pidge has memory problems, as if their mind is only just now clearing from a haze. Furrowing my brow, I try to recall the hints, and what they’d said. It does make me worry that anyone I fight might not be acting of their own volition, if there’s some sort of susceptibility, subdual, or compliance enchantment on them. I can’t afford the massive amount of second-guessing-myself that that thought line would bring though. It could be just the Evil Claws, or just Pidge of the Evil Claws, or Pidge could be playing me, or just a bit addle-brained to begin with.

Seemingly out of nowhere, across our telepathic bond, Iylynila expresses her gratitude, “Thanks again, Schism, for making it home. For coming home, and bringing them both back, and, and just being so scrappy. Keep it up. Please?”

Rubbing the back of my head ruefully, I nod in response telepathically, stating, “Of course, I’ll try my best Illy, y’know? I—.”

I can tell her telepathic walls are coming up. I know they wouldn’t stop me from directly communicating to her, but the signal is clear. She and I still aren’t in a “she and I,” space. She’s too worried about me, and can’t afford that during the war. I rub my itchy eyes, and shrug it off as best I can. I hear Lucky loose a soft whuff, almost of chastisement, and I have to chuckle, because I’m pretty sure—.

As I’m thinking about her, Luni interrupts my thoughts to agree, “Yeah, I’m pretty sure Lucky doesn’t like it too much when parent and other parent aren’t the most prominent on each other’s minds. Based on what you’ve told me about his thoughts. He’s a sweetie, but I understand. You have a lot of love to give to a lot of people, and a lot of them need it more than me. I’m, well, yeah.”

Well that hurts like a dagger twisting in my guts. Dragging her telepathic avatar into my avatar’s arms, I embrace Luni and shake my head. Well, my avatar’s head. Sighing, I whisper, “Don’t do that Lu. I love you to the ends of every universe and beyond. All you need do is say the word, and I’ll shower you with all my love.”

Blushing heatedly, Luni frowns and casts her gaze downwards, avoiding mine as she mumbles, “Sorry, Hero, I didn’t mean to be manipulative, or make you feel guilty, or hurt. Reggie, I can’t even tell you—I.”

As Luni’s avatar leans in against the chest of mine, I can feel her shaking with silent sobs, and sense the tears streaming down her cheeks. I join her in shedding silent tears, and can’t seem to find her in meatspace amongst the hustle and bustle of so many people in our Mount Verdimenn project space. Why is she hiding from me, when she so obviously needs comfort right now? She’s been there for me when I needed comfort, so many times. Lu, where are you hiding?

Casting out my senses, I cheat, and do something I shouldn’t do with my Honoris Causa manifested. I slip into a moment between moments, and use retrocognition to analyze my sensory feedback. It’s painful, and wears on me, but I sense Luni hiding in the rear of the stacks, in our nearly bookless library. She’s huddled in on herself, crouched down, hugging her knees. Returning to reality, I swiftly head towards Luni, and offer her a sad frown.

As I lean down to embrace her, Luni virtually leaps into my arms, to cry against my chest. She’s muttering, “I can’t, I shouldn’t tell you. I shouldn’t. But it hurts to hide it, it hurts so much. Things are about to get so bad. So very, very bad, and sad. And they only get worse, and worse.”

My jaw hangs slack as the two of us shed further silent tears, holding each other. So Lu really does still have more foresight about everything. Whether that’s because of her title as Muse, or some time-traveling shenanigans, I don’t know. I know that I trust her though, more than anything, on any world. If Luni says things are going to get bad, and worse, and worse, then I need to steel myself for it.