An Age of Mysterious Memories

Starting to collect herself, Luni demands, “Revvy, Greggy, and Shaylon are going to get back from the ‘Neath sometime soon’ish, maybe tomorrow, and you’ve got to order them to deliver what they found to me, and not ask any questions about it. You especially can’t let Te find out what they found. But you shouldn’t know either. They’ll listen if you tell them to keep it a secret, and you have to. Okay Hero?”

Blinking, stunned, I nod in acquiescence. If that’s what Lu needs from me, of course I’ll do it. I can’t help imagining what it is though. In fact, based on what Te felt during our first journey through the Gap, I’m almost certain I know. Luni glares at my brain across our wavelength, so I place my hands forward placatingly.

Things we have to hide from ourselves, and each other, just keep stacking up, don’t they? What a pain in the ass for poor Lu to continue to manage, all the time. More than that, a heartache, and so much more. Sighing, I hold Luni for a while longer yet, knowing we both need the comfort, before hardening our hearts against what’s to come.

Softly, in a whisper meant for her only, I ask, “Lu, is there no way around it? Are we still in the prime timeline?”

Knowing that I worry more for everyone else’s sakes than my own, Luni attempts to mollify me, “Yes Hero, to both. Somehow, somehow we get through it all. I’m sure of it—I think. I just don’t know how, and I’m so scared. I don’t know what happens to us if we veer off the track, or why the Sisters think that all the timelines come to a halt.”

Gnawing my lower lip, I nod along through Luni’s disheartening reassurance. Despite her claim of surety, I can sense the doubt dwelling beneath Luni’s surface. What if we aren’t the prime timeline? What happened to all the mes and all the Lus and all those other timelines? Did they just have to go on living with the failures until they were defeated and slain? Were they erased from existence as the prime timeline solidified in making the other, more-correct decisions?

How long down a wrong timeline path could we go before we know we’re in a doomed timeline? What recourse even is there, if we continue existing past a point that a different choice was supposed to have been made? How long do we have if I made a wrong move somewhere?

Wow, how conceited am I? As if my decisions alone determine the fate of whole timelines, a timeline, a dimension, a universe coming to an end or not. Yet… don’t they? Between TQ, my own logs, and vague memories of other timelines that pop up on occasion, not to mention my entrusting the fate of everything to Luni, haven’t my decisions alone shaped our entire reality going forward? Friggin’ hell Reggie, god-complex much? Is there no limit to your narcissism?

I loose a long sigh while shaking my head. A few more tears find their way down my cheeks while I hold Luni for yet a while longer. She sniffles, and begins to push me away slightly so she can stand up. We flash each other sad half-smiles before sharing a tender embrace, and equally tender kiss.

Resting her forehead on mine, Luni begs, “Keep trusting me, My Hero, please. I don’t ever want to lose your trust in me.”

Blinking back tears, I nod, rubbing our foreheads together. Luni gingerly parts from our embrace, and walks away, internally still hunched-in on herself. Still, I think she’s taken some solace in my faith in her. I hope she has at least.

Rubbing my itchy, wet eyes, I return to the main cavern of the project space. To my surprise I see Rend and Sunderer joking around with Gilmeshtu, patting each other’s backs and laughing together. I know our two Queens, Vylon and Vyela, are approximately as ancient as Gilmeshtu, and vice-versa, but I hadn’t really seen them show camaraderie before. It’s slightly surprising, but more heartwarming.

Even those among us that seem to hold disdain also value friendship, and bonds. Vylon, Rend, and Vyela, Sunderer, have been instrumental to the safety of Solace, and to the Mount Verdimenn project space. Gilmeshtu is one of the most powerful dragons alive, along with our pair of Queens, our Lady, Kinzul, Terrorzin, the Damnations, and a few others like his teammates in our Vivant. I’d like to think Iylynila is up there too. Kinzul felt she didn’t need titling as our “The-Black” to manage to hold her own as leader of the Dormir. That speaks to a massive amount of faith in Illy and her combat prowess.

I know from personal experience that the Dormir, when led by Illy, battled through the more-difficult two thirds of the ShizTinth Stronghold or so. The odds against us may be stacked unfairly, but we’re pretty stacked ourselves. Oh come on you guys. Sighing, yes, I heard what I thought as I thought it. I roll my eyes at the laughter across my mental wavelengths. I’m tempted to put up psychic walls, just to hide my embarrassment and to limit how much discomfort I suffer from hearing the laughter over juvenile things like phrasing.

Huff. Oh well. It’s mostly harmless. I’m just a bit of a prude I guess. I—, Prinrin interrupts my thoughts to agree with me, “Just a smidge Schism dearie. Just a smidge. You’re a delightfully innocent dear at-heart Schism my sweet. I’d say don’t ever change, but, with eternal longevity ahead of you sweetie, I know how unlikely that is. Solace knows I’ve grown and changed in my many-a long year.”

Blinking in surprise a bit, I feel rather dumb for being shocked at hearing Prinny’s confession. I mean, obviously people change and grow, especially moreso with more time passed, and she’s one of the eldest beings on the planet. In some ways, I don’t ever want to change, or want to have to change. I don’t really want the status quo to get shaken up either, and yet… Yet I do. I want whole worlds to change. I want injustice wiped out. I want disharmony and disdain replaced with harmony and acceptance.

Huh. If people are disdainful, looking down on others, are they ever just… dainful? Pft. I snort a laugh at my own squirrel-brain. Rolling my eyes and shaking my head, I glance around, and notice Illy, Prinny, Veril, and Prinrin’s children all heading back towards Solace proper. Wearing a bit of a longing smile, I simply nod, acknowledging them. If there are any networks that they’re needed for, I know they’d come back in a heartbeat, but I don’t think I have them penned in for any of the new networks.

Speaking of, let’s get wrapping that up, so we can finally focus on learning exactly what signals are limiting Littlebit’s research that she needs me to block. I don’t need to pull a full void maneuver to block signals. We’ve been doing that since we learned about dragonfright. “We” again Reggie? Oh shut up. It’s harmless. I think.

Erm, maybe let’s not argue with and berate ourselves while surrounded by so many whose brains are listening in along with ours, yeah? Also, maybe don’t call it our brain, and just call it yours, erm, I mean mine. I swear, I’m not someone with a dissociative identity. I think. I’m pretty sure alters or plurality systems or whatever don’t actually interact. I’m just a dork that talks to themselves from multiple points of view.

That’s not that abnormal. Isn’t it? Bluh, whatever. If my brain is abnormal—which, okay, yeah, it definitely is—what type of abnormality hardly matters at the moment. Alright, let’s start wrangling people. I sort of wish I had Ixey at my side for this, since she helped me rewrite the groups I’d be telepathically bonding together. She’s helping Farzhis though, and I think Lil went to watch them wrestle.

I’m catching hints of, erm, strong emotions from him about what he’s witnessing. I can’t say I blame him for what he’s feeling right now. I can’t say that at all. Blushing, I hide my face for a few moments til my cheeks cool down. It takes a few moments longer as my wife sends a teasing smirk directly into my brain. Gulping, I rattle my skull trying to shake it off, and perhaps shake out some thoughts I’d rather not experience.

Ugh, I was joking previously once, about how by the end of things, I might as well just be jamming raw gems into my own back and arms to prop up the psychic network permanency enhancement enchantments. That’s not far off, based on how thick the gem-dust sludge is that it takes for me to continue hosting more and more networks.

Crap on a cracker. We’re going to have to convert pretty much all of Al’pa’ca’s wealth to gems with the shop system,to be able to handle all this tonight. Sure, we’ll have a fresh load of gems in the morning, but for the most part, I want that going to all the residents of Solace, since it’s their nourishment. Alright, alright Reggie, get your head in it. Get it together pal. Let’s get this done.

It’s a bit mind-numbing, the tedium of layering up psychic network after psychic network, being the only legitimate archmage we’ve got. At least, until we get to the networks that I need to link Leezahna up to. With Ixey busy, that means I have to retrieve her personally, even though she’s only a few dozen meters away or so—maybe a couple hundred, I haven’t measured—it feels like an awkward jaunt in the direction of her home near our vaults.

I have no idea how to approach this. Dragonkind within Solace are used to not having doors, for good reason, but what does that mean about their expectations for privacy, and the arrival of visitors? How do I announce myself? Do I try to knock loudly on the stone of the empty doorway? Do I just sort of shout casually? Are Leeza’s expectations different, since she came from minor nobility within Terrorzin’s faction?

Deciding to start with the knocking, and maybe proceed with a semi-formal announcement of my presence if that doesn’t work, I steel myself as I approach Leeza’s home’s doorway. Gulping, I knock loudly in a staccato burst of notes, reminiscent of “Shave and a Haircut.” To my surprise, I hear a callback phrase in the form of a lovely voice humming the last two notes. I also feel heat emanating from the dwelling, and can sense that it originates from Leeza’s cheeks, since, well, y’know, thermal senses.

When Leezahna peeks around the corner of her abode, from her bedroom, I try not to let my jaw drop at her attire. I know she’s a bit of a fashionista or something like that, whatever you call someone who intentionally puts a fairly large effort into their wardrobe looking chique, but I was not expecting this. I cast my glance aside swiftly after noticing the exquisite backless evening gown Leezahna is wearing. Its thigh-slits go all the way to her hips, and the fabric looks delightfully soft. It’s somehow simultaneously matte and shiny, like some sort of velour or micro-suede.

Stuttering, as she often does when confronting me, Leezahna asks, “Y-you n-needed a, a lot of surface, um, skin, t-to t-touch me, on, right S-schism? J-just don’t get an-ny ideas.”

Oy vey. Crap on a cracker. My only idea is that I wish I hadn’t traumatized someone who is actually a good person at heart. But I think we both agree that she’s on a better path, and is honestly a better person, since the incident. How horrible is that of me to think? Ugh. Oh, wait, right. Respond to the outside world Reggie.

Nodding, I mumble, “Y-yeah, it um, you look… It’s a very lovely dress. I like the fabric, and, well, yeah. Are you ready? Are you okay to receive these psychic networks? I won’t think poorly on you if you say no. I’d find some way to help keep you secure no matter what.”

Casting her own glance down, Leezahna is trembling. My heart breaks, and I’m about to walk away when she nods and shuffles up next to me. Instinctively, I reach a hand towards Leezahna’s shoulder comfortingly. She flinches, but doesn’t pull away. I want to facepalm and berate myself for touching someone without consent, someone obviously uncomfortable with me. I know I was doing it to comfort her, but, ugh. Still, I pat her shoulder once gently and offer her a slightly-sad neutral expression as I flick my eyebrows towards the rest of the gathered people who’ll be in on her psychic networks.

Leeza offers me a half-smile, half-grimace, and a polite nod, so we adjourn towards the congregation of people in the Verdimenn project space’s main cavern. Leeza, and her ridiculously gorgeous attire draws quite a few stares, and I half-wonder if she might be a bit self-conscious about it, despite having seemed narcissistic to me in the past. I’m reading signals off of her with my various senses that indicate a mixture of embarrassment, fear, excitement, and pride. Was she always like this, or is this because I traumatized her? I don’t really have any right to know. It’d just be to assuage my own guilt, if I were to try to find out.

I try to space out Leezahna’s placement in the psychic subnetworks, so that she has time to recover from, and/or prepare for my contact again between each network application. To my surprise, during the second network application, she meekly, privately telepathically asks if I can do what I’d been doing for the others. I’d been giving them all half backrubs, since they were all fairly comfortable with my touch.

Leezahna reiterates, “Don’t get any ideas though. I, I’ve just been stressed about you, the war, these magical resources, and, and don’t have any… I’m just stressed is all, and a backrub could be a bit nice.”

Her friends. Leezahna doesn’t have any of her old friends, because of me, and my threats. I squeeze my eyes shut tightly, trying to blink back tears at what I’ve taken from her. If someone were to make my inner circle too scared to be around me, I feel like I’d die of heartache. I fail at blinking back the tears, and several drip onto Leeza’s back as I’m applying her second network. She doesn’t make a big deal about it at least, though I’m sure it’s awkward as hell to have your tormentor crying over you.

I wish I knew some way to make it right. Would seeking out her friends and telling them my threat was a bluff help? Or that I call my threat off? Or, or would I just screw things up worse, and make it less likely for her social network to mend?

Rambling a bit, Leeza continues, “Don’t get me wrong, the gutter tr— the *Red*, ugh, the—Ixeyla—is nice enough, but we’re not going to braid each other’s hair in our nighties. At least not with alcohol present. Never again. Ugh.”

Grimacing and blushing simultaneously, I’m not sure which emotion to focus on. Should I be insulted on Ixey’s behalf that Leezahna’s gut instinct is still to insult people and use disdainful language when talking about them? Should I be upset at Ixey for a thing I know she already apologized to Leeza about? Should I be embarrassed at the implications, and the mental image Leezahna just put into my head?

Rattling my skull, I let it rest, and work my way through the rest of the psychic networks as best I’m able. Leeza stands at the edge of the crowd, drinking in the attentive gazes that rest on her. I can also sense her psyche poking and prodding at the network, monitoring my brain. I can’t blame her. I’d want to know what the brain of such a monster was like too, if offered a psychic connection to their always-on stream of thought.

Drawing a ragged breath, I sigh and close my eyes. I know Lu said we’ll never be friends, and I lament that, but I understand. There are some things that you just can’t recover from. Some wrongs, or mistakes, are too hurtful to build a bridge over. Wearing a sad frown, I continue to try to fight the emotions away, to not think about it. I don’t want to dwell, and I don’t want to make Leeza uncomfortable, or have her feel manipulated by my guilt.

As I continue with the psychic networks, and various enchantments, I try to determine where we’ll be hit from next, and where it would be best to strike at Terrorzin’s leadership core next. If I remember correctly, Inishish and Crepuul have territories a bit beyond our valley, on the other side of the range, past Hareslayer’s lair. We should definitely rout or convert Mydraig’s forces, since they could be conscripted into a siege effort against us with as little as a single message reaching them. Then Crepuul’s domain, then Inishish’s. If they’re less favored, similar to Attraxiaz and such, due to their distance from the center of Terrorzin’s domain, they might be weaker strongholds.

We might be able to get away with a low power offensive by some of our injured forces. I could focus on continuing to spearhead onslaughts deeper into Terrorzin’s domain, while maybe one of either Lucky, or Lil, goes with a few of our Dormir, to wipe out those strongholds. Maybe Lil with Farzhis and Veril, and Lucky with Iylynila. They could start out together, routing Mydraig’s domain, and then split off to each tackle one of the other two domains.

I know Lu said she can’t keep running from fighting, but it really isn’t necessary to send her along for something like this, and it’s beneficial to have two Shellcrackers back at base in case the Damnations show up from above or below, or worse, from both above and below. Despite being blazing fast, Teuila can’t be both at the top and bottom of Solace at the same time. Plus, we’ll probably have her out by Mah’ruke anyway, routing the siege forces that had gathered and pulled back, so she’ll be stuck below the Worldstorm. Having Lu watch out over the aerie means she could dissuade the Damnations from attacking, or ground them, dropping them through the Worldstorm. With the help of some of the consumables and trinkets we’d been picking up, and perhaps some of the Strategists-Eight using their conjuration and mana construct powers from afar.

Focusing now on the current network, and the current applicant—is that the right word?—Littlebit, I fight to keep from rolling my eyes. She’s very squirmy, and completely unapologetic when it causes me to need more surface area than her back, since, like Tiktik and Miraina, she’s a shorty. I try to ignore the lower-lip-bite that Littlebit wears during my application of runic paste about her body. I know we’re both Fae, and friggin’ hell is she gorgeous, but I don’t know the full status of her relationship with Tiktik, and I’d never hurt Tiktik.

I know Littlebit wouldn’t either, so I’m mostly being a prude and a jackass by letting my mind wander this direction. I think Tiktik might have even literally asked me to take care of Littlebit and her needs. But if so, my brain probably blanked it out, denying it.

Whispering huskily directly into my mind, I can hear the humorous lilt to Littlebit’s telepathic voice as she states, “Tiktik says you like your ears being nibbled Tiger. I bet you can guess about my listen-flaps, they're like my own personal radar receivers, great for picking up subtle signals, and for picking up any sweet nothings you wanna whisper. They’re even better for, well, I’ll let your mind fill in the blanks.”

Closing my eyes and biting my lips, I breathe through my nose, attempting to keep my expression neutral. I know she’s trying to get a rise out of me—”Fel right I am, Tiger”—bluh. Friggin’ adorable tease. Continuing to breathe through my nose, I’d forgotten where I was going with my last thought train. Littlebit also knows I don’t have that equipment, not naturally at least.

I’ll probably snuggle up against Littlebit later anyway, while helping block the signals that are overloading her transceivers and such. Still, there’s gotta be a limit on how flirty she gets in advance, right? I know she’s lonely without Tiktik, and had been away from her for at least a month or two, before being reunited, but, well. Hm. Okay honestly I want to comfort the everliving heck out of her. I know how much it hurts to be away from someone you love, even if you’re sure they’re okay. Worse if you’re not sure they’re okay.

Drawing a ragged breath, I rub my itchy eyes on my forearm. It hurts so much to think about Laomati, Agwai, the Mana twins, Dreams of Days, Jazharn, Fawns At Sunsets, Linti, Elder Rinnia, Spring Blossom, Six Wind, Three Thunder, Curious Branch, and all the others I don’t know if I’ll ever see again. I don’t even know if we succeeded in saving them. Can we even succeed in saving everyone this time around, when we’re up against three times as many apocalyptic powers? Possibly more.

The Sisters intentionally left out the Felgre horde, so that we wouldn’t hasten and end up not meeting Tiktik, or not being in the right place at the right time to save Daffodil. There’s more they could have hidden from us. Maybe more that they don’t know. Hellspit and Fel Fires, we’ve still got to push back the infinite hordes of hell after dealing with Terrorzin and his fifty to sixty odd thousand draconic forces still in play. That’s saying nothing of the Damnations and Evil Claws. Fricklefrack.

After all that, we have to hope we’ve expanded our limits, and powered up enough to take out the soul-candle at Navica, and the Celestial Emperor. Plus, Jarrah’s worried about some things the Archfey are doing in the Heart. Might they bring about another apocalyptic scenario? Purposely or accidentally? Then there’s the situation in the ‘Neath, and—. Give it a rest Reggie. Focus on the now. But what if I could come up with solutions that require a long time to implement, now, that need to be done by a certain time?

How likely do you think that is Reggie? Like needing to construct a shield of Lacrimosa Trifecta on Rayileklia? Could you even do it? You’d have to find Mataalii, and convince him to help, if he’s even capable of doing so. He was pretty badly off when we last saw him, and wasn’t used to running any of his powers on permanent mental subroutines like I was with some of mine. Did he swim all the way to the Untamed Lands? Did he find an island along the way? Oh brother. I miss you. I miss even my grumpy brother, before you turned murderous and calamitous. Though maybe you always were.

Supposing we need something like the shield of Lacrimosa Trifecta, what might we be able to do without Mat? Well, it might nearly cost our life, but if we do end up with a Night of All Burn style situation, we could cool and harden enough lava to be enough porous rock. Dragons working together can haul large quantities of it, and there’s tons of skilled crafters amongst the Draconiacs and kobolds. I guess like many things, we can burn that bridge when we come to it.

There’s a slight titter across one of my mental wavelengths, one I’m not familiar with, that leaves me scratching my head, until Leezahna comments, “You’re insane. Firstly, that’s not the phrase you were looking for. Secondly, you’re simply, ridiculous, utterly ridiculous.”

Alright then, perhaps I should put my walls up against her to limit the amount of my inner narrative Leeza can overhear. I really don’t need—“Don’t, I, I didn’t mean it the way it came out. I think it’ll help me, with, um, quartermastering, to know what sorts of ideas you’re coming up with, and what they need to be accomplished. And, well, it’s reassuring to know that you’re a person too, not just a monster, and that you’re thinking about ways to protect everyone, all the time.”

Running my right hand through my hair along the back of my head, I puff a sigh. Alright. Alright, I’ll leave them down except for priority privacy communications. Just, please cut my brain some slack. It’s abnormal to say the very least. You’re tellin’ me Rej, heh. Shush, now’s not the time to joke like that. Who’s joking?

Ugh. My brain is overtaxed from all this enchanting, and hosting all these psychic networks. No wonder the spell only allows for about eight people at a time.

Though they’re on my head, buried in my hair past my horns, I hear very clearly from my goggles, “Schism, we might have a situation here.”

Shoving my goggles onto my face, I try to figure out what the security center meant. I don’t see anything out by Mah’ruke, or in any of the tunnels in Solace, thank spoot. Is that Te’s Honoris Causa manifested around her? It’s hard to tell from her own point of view, similar to mine, it’s almost transparent looking out from within it.

Wait. I know those wings. I fired gravity shots into them over and over across thousands of attempts of six seconds to save Leeza, Zayzi, and Ixey. No. No that’s too many. There’s something like forty wings of ancient dragons headed towards Solace from above, and Teuila rushing outwards to meet them head on.

Pleading with the security center, I beg, “Patch me through to Te!”

“You got it Schism, your line going through now.”

My voice cracking with fear, tears streaming down my cheeks as I hasten towards Solace proper, I check in on My Wings, “Te, Te wait, we’ll take them on together! Have you even recovered enough to fight one of them? Just think about your limits, your limitations, for half a second, please, wait. I’m coming Te!”

With humorously false bravado, Te jokes, “Pft, what limits?”