Antidote

Lister laughed.

“Is it because that guy was born a slave too, that you feel some kind of kinship?”

Then he chuckled for a while.

“But you don’t need to concern yourself with such useless things. Even if by a slim chance…”

He stopped talking for a moment and glared at me. His gaze was filled with hatred. I hurriedly lowered my head. My lips began to tremble slightly. I was scared. Ever since that day, I had found myself shrinking before Lister, which I despised, but I couldn’t control my body. I clenched the hem of my clothes tightly to hide the trembling in my hands.

Lister lightly tapped my cheek with his fingers.

“If I ever catch sight of you sticking close to him, or if I hear even a whisper of something like that… If you’re curious about what I’d do, go ahead and try.”

With that, Lister let out a hearty laugh and turned away from me.

“Oh, and to answer your question, no. That man won’t be coming back. Duke of Karlac will never allow him to set foot inside these gates again. Pass that along to the lower ranks who are gossiping out of curiosity.”

After saying that, he left.

I stood in the empty room for a long time, staring blankly until I heard someone approaching from the hallway. Startled as if struck by lightning, I fled the scene.

After Lister left in search of Selcie and his son, time passed uneventfully for me, no matter what was happening outside Karlac Castle.

There was no good news from Tanalan Gorge.

The envoys from Kirdara came and went from Karlac Castle a few times, their faces grim. Every night, I would leave my door slightly ajar, eavesdropping on the conversations drifting through the crack.

The knights from Kirdara were said to have been rude in the court. Duke of Karlac was furious, there was no progress at Tanalan Gorge, a search party was caught in a snowstorm and went missing, and they wished to find at least a body, but instead, the bodies were piling up….

Whenever two people gathered, they talked about the search in Tanalan Gorge. But over time, their whispers, filled with morbid curiosity, tension, and fear, gradually faded.

It seemed that the search was coming to an end without any results.

At any rate, I didn’t know the details.

The mood at the castle grew dark, and Lister returned.

Everyone resumed their daily routines as if nothing had happened.

One night, after attending to Lister’s bedding, I was on my way back to my room. The cold night air made me hunch my shoulders as I hurried through the northern corridor. Then, I suddenly looked up.

The milky white Milky Way stretched across the night sky. Among the clouds, tinted a misty teal, small orange constellations sparkled. My steps stopped on their own.

“Ah, the Arrow Constellation…”

A low sigh escaped my lips.

The Arrow Constellation is a sign of spring. When its brightest orange arrowhead clearly points southwest, winter retreats, and spring arrives in eastern Karlac.

I stood there for a long time, staring up at the sky as if I were nailed to the spot.

It felt like someone had reached between my lungs and was gripping my heart. I lowered my head weakly. A faint layer of frost had settled between the white calcite tiles. That blurry frost seemed to signal the end of winter.

So this is how winter ends. I muttered softly to myself and began to move again.

Every step back to my room felt heavy.

The next morning, I mustered up the courage to speak to Lister first.

“Um…”

When I spoke, he looked momentarily puzzled. Recently, I had been holding my tongue around him, so initiating a conversation was something I hadn’t done in a long time.

“What’s this? You’re actually using that precious mouth of yours?”

Lister sneered.

I had expected his sarcastic reaction, but facing his mocking expression in person still made my courage fizzle out like a doused ember. I lowered my head and stared at the floor. My hesitation didn’t last long, only a few seconds. But even those few seconds were enough for Lister to lose his patience and urge me on.

“What is it? Go on, say it. Don’t tell me you called me here just because you were bored.”

His voice was harsh.

I barely managed to raise my head again.

However, contrary to his voice, Lister’s face wasn’t angry. One corner of his mouth was slightly upturned, showing a faint smile that resembled the one he used to have long ago, back when we might have called each other friends. That smile gave me a bit more courage.

“I’ve been feeling a bit stifled lately… Can I take a walk outside during lunch?”

“A walk?”

Lister’s eyebrow twitched.

“I won’t go far. Just somewhere nearby to avoid people…”

Lister scanned me from head to toe, as if trying to see through me and check if I had any hidden intentions. After a brief silence, he let out a small laugh.

“That’s all?”

All, you say…

I slightly pouted my lips, but quickly fixed my expression, reminded that I was in front of Lister.

“You said before… if I wandered around outside without your knowledge…”

I couldn’t continue. As I trailed off and dropped my gaze, Lister chuckled.

He stepped toward me, and his fingers touched my shoulder. Starting with his fingertips, he slowly gripped my shoulder with his entire palm, then stroked it up and down a few times. The strangely gentle gesture sent a chill down my spine. I wanted to immediately shake off his hand, but I feared upsetting Lister again, and worse, not getting permission for even a short walk, so I endured it.

“Yeah, I did say that.”

He looked down at me, his green eyes holding a faint trace of amusement.

“So, you’re asking for my permission now? What wind blew in for you to act so obediently?”

His tone was teasing.

I bit my lip and lowered my head.

“If you don’t want to give permission, then forget it.”

With those words, I pushed his hand off my shoulder. However, instead of moving away, he grabbed my chin with his other hand.

“Tsk, tsk.”

He clicked his tongue, as if dealing with a child.

“So impatient. Just wait.”

He then lowered his head to look at me intently. Since he was holding my chin, I had no choice but to endure his gaze. Tension stiffened my back and neck.

“Well…”

His fingers gently caressed my chin.

The touch made me tremble.

“Stop.”

I pushed him away, bracing for him to get upset. But instead, Lister chuckled, seemingly amused.

“Hold on. So, a walk, huh? How far are you planning to go?”

“…I won’t go far.”

“Should I come with you?”

At that, I shuddered.

“No.”

The word shot out of my mouth without passing through my brain. Lister’s eyes narrowed.

“You’re being sensitive.”

“I just… quietly.”

Since his hand was still on me, I grew more flustered. My voice trembled uncontrollably.

“I have some things to think about. And I just need some fresh air…”

“Fine, I get it.”

Only then did Lister finally release me.

I hastily stepped back a few paces. Lister frowned slightly.

“What, you think I’m going to eat you?”

Without responding, I bowed my head again.

After a moment, Lister spoke.

“Alright, go ahead.”

Hearing his permission at last, I quickly looked up. Lister shrugged.

“Just don’t go far.”

“I won’t. I’ll just take a short walk somewhere quiet.”

“Be back before I return.”

“I understand.”

When I obediently nodded, Lister smirked, curling his lips. He looked satisfied, as if I were acting like a well-behaved dog.

“Yeah. Just keep behaving like this. Got it? If you want something, get my permission first… If you keep this up, we won’t need to raise our voices at each other, right?”

Even though he started spouting his usual nonsense, I had already been granted permission for my walk, so I just nodded along, “Mm, mm,” without saying anything.

After Lister left, I quickly slipped out of the mansion.

My pace only slowed down when I reached the camellia path near the inner wall. There was no one here. The cold, quiet wind rustled the glossy camellia leaves. I walked slowly, eventually reaching the empty corridor. A few dried leaves were rolling across the empty hallway and courtyard, and some half-melted snow was piled in the shade under the fountain.

I stood by the fountain.

Unlike before, the snow had melted inside, revealing the dry bottom. My eyes scanned the dusty bottom of the fountain. Under the dim sunlight, a glint caught my attention. I knelt down and reached out my hand. My fingers touched a cold, copper coin.

A soft sigh escaped my lips.

The mist of my breath drifted into the cold air.

It was still winter.

I rolled the coin in my palm, waiting for the icy copper to gradually warm with my body heat. The coin rolled in my hand, alternating between the side with the arrowhead and the side with the bow drawn, back and forth several times.

Only after a long while did I set the coin down. My fingers hesitated for what felt like an eternity before finally pulling away from the cold metal. The sharp arrowhead engraved on the copper glinted, reflecting a flash of sunlight.

I can’t come out here after sunset anymore, like I used to…

But then again, Jiyod isn’t in Karlac anyway…

A flurry of justifying thoughts fragmented and reassembled themselves in my mind, coming and going in dozens of different sentences.

I was sick of my own weakness. Irritated, I picked up the coin again and flipped it over. The front side appeared. I suddenly stood up.

But then it happened.

The sun, positioned high in the sky, shifted ever so slightly westward, casting a small shadow at my feet. At that moment, I felt something tickling beneath my right foot. I lifted my right foot curiously.

“…!”

I almost screamed.

Something black and sleek had swiftly crawled up onto my foot. At first, I thought it was some kind of centipede or other arthropod, but it wasn’t. It looked like a snake, about as thick as two of my fingers. But it wasn’t exactly a snake either. It had a mane of dark blue and glossy black scales covering its long body. What startled me even more was that its upper body was coiled around my foot, but its lower body was submerged in the shadow beneath my footprint, as if it had emerged from the shadow itself.

My breath quickened. My knees buckled. When I instinctively put weight on my left foot, pain shot up my ankle, and I finally let out a small scream. But the scream was so faint that even I could barely hear it. Perhaps it was for the best. As I struggled to regain my composure and tried to pull my foot away, the black snake slithered further out from the shadow and coiled up my ankle. And then…

It… spoke!

Was this some hallucination from my madness?

It had to be.

I lifted my gaze and then quickly lowered it again, hoping that by the time I looked back, this terrifying illusion would disappear and my mind would return to its temporary state of calm.

But the snake was still there. I could distinctly feel it tightening around my ankle, even over my pants. I bit my lip and lifted my gaze again. This had to be some hallucination conjured by the bugs crawling inside my skull. It had to be the result of my decayed brain, drugs, and headaches working together. Clinging to that rationalization, I tried my best to ignore the weight and texture of the creature as I moved my foot.

Even the voice, which resembled Ismion’s, was a product of my madness…

I ignored the call and walked briskly out of the corridor. But as I was about to step through the archway and into the camellia path, the snake opened its mouth and bit my ankle. The fabric of my winter clothes was thick enough that I couldn’t tell if its fangs had pierced my skin, but the sensation was faintly sharp, sending a chill down my spine.

I stopped walking. My breath quickened again. This was far too vivid to be a mere hallucination.

My madness… was it acting up again…?

At the mention of that name from the snake’s mouth, my heart nearly stopped.

“How do you know that name…?”

No, wait… that’s not it.

You should never deal with illusions. It’s just a byproduct of my brain, so of course, I know the name Jiyod.

I bowed my head and stared intently at the black snake coiled around my ankle.

Is this really Ismion?

It answered as if it had read my mind, which only made my suspicion flare up again.

“Are you really Ismion?”

“…Just answer.”

I took a deep breath and looked around.

Only silence lingered in the camellia corridor. The wind was merely pushing fallen leaves along the hall. I bit my lip and quickly bent down to grab the snake by the neck. It squirmed under my grasp, its black body writhing. The dark blue scales felt unexpectedly soft against my palm.

I quickly tucked it inside the collar of my coat, hiding it from view. The cold scales against the thin fabric of my shirt sent a shiver racing up my spine.

The snake squirmed inside my clothes, slithering up my chest and poking its head out of the collar. I pushed its head back in.

“How did you get here?”

I asked in a hushed voice, and the snake stopped moving. A small sigh echoed from within my clothes.

I glanced up at the sky. The sun was barely beginning to tilt westward from its zenith. And this snake had appeared as soon as it cast a shadow at my feet.

“Ismion, enough. Get to the point.”

I cut him off, and the snake fell silent.

I fell into a long silence before whispering very quietly, “Me too.”

Ah, I’ve really lost my mind, talking to a hallucination.

Yet the snake, claiming to be Ismion, was so vivid—the coldness of its scales against my thin shirt, the flicking of its tongue inside its small, open mouth—that I couldn’t help but believe it….

“A message?”

“What’s the message?”

I quickly asked before Ismion could go off on another tangent.

Ismion replied briefly.

I held my breath at those words.

It felt like someone had pinched my nose shut, cutting off my breath. It was only after a long moment that I could force my lungs to exhale.

“But how? The Duke of Karlac said he’d never allow him to cross the gates.”

Ismion’s tone was mocking.

“How?”

That was all I could manage to ask.

“…In the eastern part of Ipsen?”

When I recalled what Lister had said and asked, the snake poked its head slightly out of my collar and looked up at me.

The lord of Stravin is Jiyod’s father. Of course, given that Jiyod was born and raised as a bastard, he has never once called that cold-faced High Lord his father. In any case, it seems Lister was right about Jiyod keeping his father in check.

I frowned.

“Stravin….”

“Close relationship?”

The Orzen Gate is the nearest gate to enter Karlac, located just three hours southeast of Karlac Castle. The gatekeeper there has traditionally been an honored knight, recognized for his loyalty, often serving in the royal court. I didn’t know who the current gatekeeper was, but it was hard to believe that he would risk angering the Duke of Karlac by opening the gate for Jiyod.

I had no idea who Ismion was referring to as the “madman” and the “lunatic,” but…

The snake let out a long, sinister laugh.

But I couldn’t bring myself to laugh along, so I just twitched my facial muscles awkwardly. Fortunately, he couldn’t see my face.

He raised his head again. His yellow eyes stared at me. For some reason, the glossy yellow irises reminded me of Ismion’s black pupils.

I felt a lump in my throat. I managed to nod instead of replying.

He grumbled quickly and continued.

Then the snake slithered down under my clothes. Its cold, slimy body coiled around my leg and dropped onto my foot, then quickly slipped into the frost-covered gap between the tiles. The last thing I saw was the bluish tuft of hair at the tip of its tail fluttering before it completely disappeared. It vanished so quickly that I didn’t have a chance to tell it that I could no longer sneak out to the corridor after sunset and flip a coin like before.

I just stared at the dark gap between the tiles where it had disappeared for a long time.

My mind was numb, as if I had been enchanted.

Is my madness really…

Is this also a type of seizure?

I raised my right hand to touch my cheek. Both cheeks were flushed and warm from excitement.

The news that the snake in my hallucination had mentioned reached Karlac Castle two days later.

Lister was in such a foul mood that all the servants in the estate walked on tiptoes, as if someone might die if they made a sound.

But despite that, no one could stop the gossip. I hid in the corners of hallways or behind open kitchen doors, eavesdropping on people whispering.

They said the Lord of Ipsen entered the Orzen Gate….

How could the gatekeeper ignore the Duke of Karlac’s orders and open the gate for that bastard?

Treason, rebellion, betrayal…

Such ominous rumors spread like wildfire, not just through Glenberg Estate but throughout Karlac Castle. And on top of that, there was news that the Duke of Karlac had summoned the Orzen Gatekeeper and the Lord of Ipsen to the castle.

When I first heard that, I couldn’t hide my sour expression.

It was suspicious and strange that events were unfolding exactly as my madness had predicted.

Could it be that the snake wasn’t just a hallucination?

But with Lister’s mood plunging to new depths of despair, I soon had no time to dwell on it.

He had become unnaturally sharp, speaking to me every day as if testing me. For instance, he would ask if I wasn’t happy, say that since that bastard had returned to Karlac, it was as if he had made himself a fool, and threaten me with what would happen if he ever saw or heard me associating with that Ipsen half-breed. I couldn’t endure his continued mockery and ended up replying a few times, which, of course, resulted in a brutal beating.

Lister slapped me until my face was swollen and my lips were bleeding, then dragged me by the hair to the stable. I didn’t want to cry, but when he personally brought out the stallion, I had no choice but to cry. Eventually, in front of the stablemen and other stable workers, I had to kneel at his feet, weeping and begging. After that, I kept my mouth shut and served him quietly, fearing he might actually make me mate with the stallion.

Thoughts of Jiyod didn’t return until several days later.

Dark clouds filled the sky, and thin snowflakes fell gently. The brisk wind whipped between the walls and towers.

Jiyod had returned to Karlac Castle. He, as before, left his knights and army outside and entered the castle alone with only a few aides to meet the Duke of Karlac. The Duke of Karlac had him stand before the court for a very long meeting, and after it ended, complained of a headache and retired to his chamber. Jiyod waited in front of the court until late at night before leaving.

Of course, all of this was hearsay, so I couldn’t tell how much of it was true.

I only thought, as I caught the thin snowflakes with my palm against the cloudy sky, that he had really kept his promise to return before winter ended.

However, even though he had returned, I could no longer go out to meet him after sunset, so it was a great relief that I had left the coin heads-up.

I lowered my head dejectedly and resumed my steps.

The falling snow gradually stopped, and the blue sky briefly showed through the clouds.

***

At the very end of winter, when the orange arrow of Sagittarius pointed more and more towards the southwest, the long-awaited news finally arrived.

It was Lisbeth’s early return.

Since it was still a season where the shadows of snow hadn’t melted, her return was unexpected by everyone.

Lisbeth returned without even notifying us of her departure, getting into the carriage without warning. Even Lister only learned of her return when he heard that she had passed through the Orzen Gate. From there, she drove the carriage without resting for even a single day (which was surprising given her nature, as she did not ride the horse herself) and arrived at the eastern gate before sunset.

The atmosphere in the residence changed dramatically. Everyone was running around in a frenzy due to the fiery temper of the returning mistress. Flames leapt from all the stoves in the kitchen, and servants bustled about placing lamps and braziers in corridors and corners.

Just before sunset, the carriage with the Glenberg crest stopped in front of the residence.

The coachman opened the carriage door, and everyone except Lister knelt.

Lister still had a sour expression. He went to the carriage and assisted Lisbeth out. Lisbeth took his hand and stepped down from the carriage.

I subtly raised my eyes and observed them.

The siblings standing side by side were strikingly similar, as if they were cast from the same mold. Their black hair and green eyes were identical in intensity. If their genders were reversed and their ages slightly adjusted, they would undoubtedly look like each other.

Lisbeth’s complexion was not bad. Her cheeks were rosy, and her eyes were radiant. Her eldest son, Kirsten, who had grown significantly over the winter, followed her out. The two younger daughters were still asleep, being carried out by their maid.

“Why did you come back so early, sister?” Lister asked in surprise.

“The snow hasn’t even melted over there, and you managed to move the carriage….”

“Things in Karlac are chaotic; there’s no time for rest.”

Lisbeth retorted sharply.

“Crazy rumors have even made their way to Mobik Sinnen.”

A flicker of light appeared on Lister’s face. Lisbeth glanced at him briefly and then raised an eyebrow slightly.

“You finished repairing the outer walls successfully? Good job.”

At her words, Lister exhaled with relief.

“You know everything, don’t you? Did you leave with the intention of resting while keeping your ears open to Karlac?”

“It’s hard to trust you completely.”

As she said this, she looked at him intently, then turned her head. Her eyes scanned the servants as if searching for something. Then she spotted me.

“Slan!”

Her cheerful voice called my name.

“Why are you standing there like that? Come over here.”

She extended her arm towards me as if addressing family.

“Come here. It’s cold, so why are you kneeling over there? Are you not going to welcome me back?”