Antidote

“Why would I bother with a slave?”

Lister grumbled in a disgruntled voice, but it was quiet.

“Tsk. This guy is so indifferent. Slan, please understand.”

“Of course.”

I responded calmly. Though my efforts not to resent Lister had been fading lately, Lisbeth’s gentle voice brought back memories, and a soft expression naturally appeared on my face.

“Good.”

She smiled softly in relief, mirroring my own smile.

“After my bath, let’s have dinner together. It might be a little late, but will that be alright?”

“Of course. Take your time, sister, and enjoy yourself.”

Lister placed both hands on her shoulders and gave a firm massage. At his affectionate touch, Lisbeth smiled and placed her hand over his.

“It’s good to see both of you again. Alright, I’ll see you in a little while. I’ll have dinner prepared in the dining hall, and I’ll send someone for you when it’s ready.”

She rose from the couch. Her maid removed her outer garments layer by layer until she stood before us in her long, thin undergarments and entered the bath.

After Lisbeth entered the bath, I left her quarters. Footsteps followed me. I ignored them and quickened my pace, but his long strides soon caught up.

“Slan.”

A large hand grabbed my shoulder.

Startled, I roughly shook off the hand. Lister’s face contorted, but, unusually, he neither hit me nor yelled.

“Let’s talk.”

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

“I have something to say.”

“Then save it for dinner with Lisbeth.”

Lister’s eyebrow twitched at my sarcastic response. His breathing grew slightly rough, but he quickly regained his composure.

“Why didn’t you tell her?”

Though his question lacked a direct object, I immediately knew what he meant. I glanced up at him. When our eyes met, Lister’s expression briefly shifted. I let out a small sigh.

“She’s not feeling well… I didn’t want to worry her. Besides, she came back early, overexerting herself.”

Lister remained silent.

After a long pause, he nodded once.

“I’m sorry.”

Those words were unexpected.

My expression twisted in confusion, and Lister, noticing, placed a hand over his forehead.

“Damn it. I didn’t know you were hurt that badly. If you’d just said something… Hell! I’d have called the mage to heal you right away. Why the hell didn’t you…?”

He trailed off, frustrated.

“Why do you always keep your mouth shut? It’s not like you’re—damn it. You’re not even scared of me! You always say whatever you want, but when it comes to this, you clam up like a clam….”

At that, I bit my lip.

Not scared of him?

How could that be?

How could I not fear a man who threatened to drag me off and force me to mate with breeding stock in front of everyone if I disobeyed—and who was capable of following through on that threat?

“I…”

I lowered my head, staring at my toes for a long time.

Now that Lisbeth had returned, everything would go back to the way it was. I didn’t want to clash with Lister anymore.

When I hesitated, Lister pressed me to finish.

“You what? Say it, Slan.”

“I’m afraid of you…”

The voice that finally escaped was small and faint.

But the knight’s keen hearing caught it clearly.

Lister’s face hardened.

His hand approached as if to rest on my shoulder, then hesitated mid-air. He pulled his hand back, then extended it again. I stepped back to avoid it and, without looking back, turned and fled.

I didn’t hear any footsteps following me.

A few hours later, dinner with Lisbeth was pleasant.

She seemed to be in good spirits, perhaps because her stay in Movik Sinen had done her well. Her face was glowing. The two young daughters quickly retired to their rooms, but Kirsten stayed for a while. He sat next to me, tugging on my sleeve or the hem of my tunic, playfully teasing. Each time, Lisbeth would sternly scold him, but within minutes, he’d be back at my side, offering me food from his plate or whining for me to carve the roast goose for him. After a few sips of watered-down wine that Lister jokingly handed him, he started nodding off, eventually leaving the dining room on the back of a servant. I chuckled softly as I watched.

“You seem to be doing well,” Lisbeth said to me.

“You look brighter than earlier. You had such a grim face before….”

Her sharp remark made my neck tingle for a moment, but I responded as nonchalantly as I could.

“Well, now that the lady of the house has returned, I feel more at ease.”

“So, that scoundrel tormented you while I was away, right? Is that it?”

She giggled playfully, and I could only manage an awkward smile.

If she knew what Lister had done to me while she was away from Karlac, she wouldn’t be smiling like that. But I kept silent. They were a close-knit pair of siblings. With their significant age gap, and Lisbeth having secured her position and heir long ago, there was no typical sibling rivalry between them. Lister was arrogant and self-centered, but he adored his sister. He respected her as a knight and loved her as his sister.

Yes.

This is enough.

As long as Lisbeth was here, Lister couldn’t force his cruelty on me any longer.

I decided to forget everything that happened over the past winter.

Madness and medication would help. Soon, even the most painful memories would fade, and I’d be able to go on pretending like nothing had ever happened, just as I always had.

I took a sip of wine and briefly glanced at Lister. His hand twitched, but he said nothing.

Lisbeth spoke of the beautiful snowy landscapes and the therapeutic hot springs of Movik Sinen and asked Lister about the outer wall repairs he had overseen. Although she seemed to be in good health, the fatigue from the long journey seemed unavoidable, and she rose before the night got too late. She had drunk more than usual, and her knees wobbled slightly as she stood.

Lister immediately sprang to his feet.

“I’ll escort you.”

“No need. I can send a servant.”

“Don’t refuse your brother’s offer, sister.”

He, too, was in good spirits from the alcohol. Chuckling, Lister lifted Lisbeth in his arms. Though she had grown lighter since her prime as a knight, she was still tall and sturdily built, but Lister effortlessly carried her. The ease with which he lifted her reminded me of the night he had forced me onto the bed and torn my clothes. A shiver ran down my spine as I forced that dreadful memory deep into the recesses of my mind.

Lisbeth laughed out loud as she glanced back at me.

“Well, Slan, I’ll head to bed first. Rest well, and I’ll see you tomorrow. Kirsten is eager to play soldier with you, so you’d better be prepared.”

“Of course.”

The image of the young boy tugging at my sleeve brought a smile to my lips.

The close siblings left the dining room. Slowly, I stood up. Servants entered to clear the table.

After obtaining some warm water from the kitchen, I washed my hands, feet, and mouth, then left the main building and returned to my room in the annex. The brazier next to the bed was filled with plenty of coals. The servants had been busy all day stocking the fireplaces and braziers with logs and charcoal throughout the building. The warm air in the room gently touched my cheeks. After spending time with Lisbeth, I had also had a few glasses of peppermint-infused liquor, and the alcohol swirled softly in my head.

I removed my outer clothes and, now dressed lightly, pulled back the blanket on my bed. I hesitated for a moment, then reached under the thick straw-stuffed mattress. My fingers touched soft fur. It was the cloak Jiyod had wrapped around me before. Though his warmth and scent had long since faded, I still often wrapped it around myself when I slept.

Just as I pulled the cloak out from under the bed, I heard rapid footsteps from outside. The sound was light and swift but also carried a heavy weight.

My shoulders tensed, and I instinctively shoved the cloak back under the bed.

As I turned around in front of the bed, the doorknob rattled. My heart pounded so hard I couldn’t tell whether it was the sound of knocking or my own heartbeat.

After a few deep breaths, I walked toward the door.

“Who…?”

There was no need to ask, but I spoke anyway, trying to buy time. The door was yanked open from the outside. Since I had been leaning slightly against it, I staggered forward, stepping out into the hallway.

A firm grip seized my forearm.

My breathing quickened.

Lister held onto my arm with one hand while gripping the door with the other.

He pushed his way into the room. I couldn’t even resist. His body pressed against mine as he entered, still holding onto me, and he closed the door behind him. The loud bang of the door shutting reverberated in my ears like thunder, leaving them ringing.

I twisted my body, pushing him away with my free hand.

Surprisingly, Lister let me go without much resistance. As soon as he released me, I quickly stepped back, widening the distance between us.

“Why are you here?”

I shot at him sharply, looking up at him.

The room was dark, and half his face was cloaked in shadow. The flickering lamp on the bedside shelf made it even harder to read his expression.

“…How’s your leg?”

He asked suddenly, out of nowhere.

I was furious.

Was he suddenly worried that I might tell Lisbeth about everything?

I bit my lip and turned my head away.

“Why? Are you planning to break it again if I say it’s fine?”

I couldn’t stop the sharp retort from escaping my lips. As soon as I said it, I regretted it. I feared Lister might lash out and hit me again… Sure, Lisbeth was back, so he probably wouldn’t act as harshly as before, but still, what if…? My chest instinctively tightened, and my breath came in irregular gasps.

But Lister didn’t lose his temper. Instead, he silently reached out and grabbed my wrist. My breathing quickened further.

“Come here and sit down.”

He dragged me to the bed and forced me to sit. Then, kneeling on one knee before me, he rolled up my pant leg, exposing my ankle.

“What… What are you doing?”

“Just stay still. Don’t be stubborn.”

He spoke with a weariness in his voice.

I was dumbfounded. I bit my tongue to keep from expressing the anger and fear boiling inside me.

His rough hand touched my ankle.

“It doesn’t hurt, does it? I heard you talking to my sister earlier—it seems to hurt more when the weather’s bad. Should I call the magician again?”

“What do you care?”

I snapped back sharply, and at that moment, his large hand clamped down on my ankle. A sharp pain shot from my heel up to my knee, almost making me scream. Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes, wetting my lashes.

“I’m asking you nicely.”

Lister growled quietly.

“Behave yourself. Speak politely. Every time I see you, damn it, I get so angry… I can’t….”

His shoulders heaved as if he was struggling to contain his rage. I endured the pain and stared at him. Our eyes met. Normally, I would’ve looked away, but this time, I didn’t. Instead, I glared at him. The veins on the back of his hand bulged as he clenched my ankle, his breathing ragged.

“Stay still. Before I break your other ankle. Got it?”

“Why? Why not just do it now?”

“You think I won’t?”

He licked his lips as he spoke, a faint, triumphant smile forming at the corners of his mouth. No matter how hard I resisted, he always won. I always lost. The bitterness was too much, and more tears welled up. I bit my lower lip and glared at him.

Lister’s eyebrows twitched. His hand still gripped my ankle tightly, the veins bulging, and his shoulders moved up and down with his heavy breathing.

“Come here.”

He spoke very slowly.

A sudden sense of dread washed over me. I tried to pull my ankle free and scooted back, but that only triggered what came next.

He yanked my ankle harshly. A cry of pain escaped my lips as my body slid forward. His other hand grabbed my jaw, and he stood up, pinning me down. My upper body was thrown backward, my back hitting the bed.

“Stop! Don’t do this!”

I screamed and struggled, but he pinned me down, pressing his face close to mine. The smell of alcohol hit me. His lips came down on mine. I clenched my mouth shut, resisting, but his fingers dug roughly into my cheeks, forcing my lips apart.

“No… Stop…!”

My scream was cut off. His hot, slimy lips sealed my mouth. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. Flailing, I pounded his shoulders with both hands, but he didn’t budge. When I tried to close my mouth again, Lister pulled back slightly and cursed under his breath.

“Damn it. Open your mouth wider.”

Then, he grabbed my jaw with one hand, forcing his other fingers into my mouth to pry it open. His thick, rough index and middle fingers invaded my mouth, causing pain and shock. Tears streamed down my face. He brought his lips back to mine, pushing them over my forcibly parted lips. I struggled with all my might, but the weight of his body pressing on my stomach was too heavy, and his chest and shoulders bore down on me like a wall.

His hand held my jaw in a vice-like grip, his stiff fingers painfully forcing my jaw open. As Lister’s tongue licked the inside of my mouth, he exhaled sharply, then withdrew his hand, pressing his lips against my cheek. A tremor ran through me where his lips touched.

Thinking I had stopped resisting, his hand trailed down my arm, searching for my hand. I tried to scratch his hand, but he forced my palm open, intertwining our fingers. Then, he pressed his lips back onto mine.

“Are you afraid of me?”

He chuckled softly, speaking through our joined lips.

“So, you’re afraid of something too?”

His voice sounded as though he was exchanging sweet nothings with a lover. He stroked our tightly entwined fingers with his fingertips, sending shivers down my spine.

“Stop…”

I whispered faintly, though it was too soft to know if he even heard it.

He kissed me again. My head spun. A pounding headache throbbed in my temples, and my body twitched as though it was being torn apart. Thinking my movements were a response to his kiss, Lister laughed again. His body shook atop mine, and I gasped for air, feeling suffocated each time.

Resist… I had to resist…

His hot tongue forced its way between my lips. Ah. What happened next was instinctual.

I bit down on his tongue as hard as I could.

“…Urgh!”

With a sharp cry, Lister jerked back from me.

Blood dripped onto my lips. The taste of hot iron filled my mouth.

I gasped for breath, my lungs burning. Before I could even smirk at Lister’s bleeding state, his hand slammed down onto my shoulder with force. A scream escaped me as my upper body was shoved deep into the mattress. I struggled, trying to escape the iron grip that felt like it was about to crush my shoulder. But as our eyes met—Lister’s fierce gaze boring into me—the strength drained from my body.

He glared at me, blood still trickling from his lips. That gaze made my shoulders tremble, and I struggled to breathe.

I barely managed to speak.

“If you’re going to rape me…”

My voice sounded hoarse, as if I’d been crying for hours.

“Then go ahead.”

I stared at him, desperately trying to hide my fear.

I was terrified of him. But my madness, like my memory, would also rob me of my fear, so there was no need to be scared of Lister now.

“If you want to use me as a bedroom slave, go ahead. But you’ll have to watch your back every night. One day, I might strangle you in your sleep when I lose control.”

“Ha, ha… Are you crazy?”

“Crazy?”

A bitter laugh escaped me.

“Of course I’m crazy. Who do you think I am? I’m a lunatic! You think I can’t kill you? I was so out of my mind, I killed my own father in a fit. You think I can’t kill you?!”

The last part came out as a near scream.

Lister’s face twisted. His eyes wavered, and in their depths, something flickered that I couldn’t quite decipher.

“Slan, your father… Duke of Romberg…”

His voice shook as he reached out to grab my shoulder again. But I swatted his hand away sharply. Strangely, his hand fell limply. Seizing the moment, I drove my elbow into his stomach, and as his body reeled, I rolled out from under him.

I tumbled off the bed with a thud, but I didn’t even feel the pain. I pushed myself up with trembling arms and forced my legs to stand. A sharp pain shot up from my left ankle, but I couldn’t worry about it. Panic overtook me, fearing Lister might grab my ankle again any second. In a half-dazed state, I stumbled out of the room.

Cold sweat drenched my entire body.

The hallway was empty.

Unlike usual, a brazier sat at the end of the hallway, radiating heat that sizzled in the air. Only the warmth lingered, swirling quietly. The half-open door to the inner chamber on the opposite side was silent. Whether there was no one there or everyone was holding their breath, it didn’t matter.

Panting like a madman, I staggered across the hallway.

My ankle throbbed, forcing me to drag my left foot. But I couldn’t afford to slow down, terrified that those sticky, sweaty hands would once again grab my ankle.

My body slammed hard into the glass door at the end of the hallway, where the crests of Karlac and Glenberg were intertwined. I nearly fell. The door, unable to withstand my weight, swung backward, and I used my shoulder to push it open.

As the door opened, a blast of cold wind swept into the hallway. Half-melted clumps of snow pelted my cheeks and the nape of my neck. The cold seeped through the thin fabric of my shirt, causing goosebumps to rise all over my body. At this moment, the cold was merely a reaction in my sensory nerves.

I stepped outside the threshold. Behind me, the glass door closed silently.

Sleet was falling. The melting snowflakes touched my skin, turning into droplets that trickled down.

Limping, I crossed the courtyard. A lamp in one corner dimly lit the way ahead, but as I moved between the spindly rose bushes as tall as myself and the white wall, even that faint light disappeared.

The cold made my toes curl involuntarily. The front of my cotton indoor shoes was completely soaked. More snow dumped onto my cheeks.

I rubbed my lips with the back of my hand. A wave of nausea rose again. Eventually, I collapsed between the camellia bushes, falling to my knees. Thin layers of snow gathered on my back, melting quickly and soaking through my shirt. I wanted to vomit, but I held it back.

By the time I managed to stand, my entire body was drenched.

Dragging my left foot, I slowly passed through the camellia-lined path.

Ahead of me appeared an empty corridor, now seeming more peaceful than my own room.

The courtyard was empty, and the fountain was still. Even the fierce gusts of snow, which had been tormenting me, now fell quietly and gently in this space. It was hard to believe the raging storm from just moments before had been real.

I hobbled toward the fountain. As I approached, close enough for my knees to touch the edge, all the strength drained from my body.

“Haa, haa….”

Only then did the sound of my own panting reach my ears. It was the chilling breath of a dying animal.

I clenched my mouth shut. But as my mouth closed, my lungs heaved, demanding more air. Harsh breaths came pouring out through my nose once again.

I covered my mouth with both hands and sank to the ground.

My mind, in a state of panic, spun uncontrollably like a top, losing all reason.

Why had I run here?

The answer was obvious.

And so was the question.

I felt disgusted with my own weakness.

I buried my face in my knees.

Even a miserable slave deserves a small hope, don’t they? Just a little longer, just a little more patience.

Then the migraine mocked me.

It felt like someone was driving a metal spike into my temple. The first signs of a seizure. I bit my lip. I bit down so hard that blood trickled down.

It was right.

These hallucinations and delusions were always right.

The only exception had been that black snake, calling itself Ismion, not too long ago… Ha. What meaning could I possibly assign to a madman’s hallucinations?

Cynicism rose within me. Slowly, I uncurled my hunched shoulders and raised my head. It seemed quite some time had passed while I was wrestling with my madness. My neck felt stiff. At some point, the snow had stopped.

I placed my hands on the ground and pushed myself up.

As I turned to head back, I came face to face with a massive black shadow standing right in front of me.

“Ah…!”

A groan slipped from my lips involuntarily, followed by ragged breathing. My eyes widened, and my mouth gaped open. Clutching at my shirt, I stumbled back a step.

A back bristling with hundreds of giant spikes rose like a small hill. The shadow’s long neck and tail coiled quietly as it crouched in the darkness, watching me intently.

This can’t be real.

No.

This is just another one of my hallucinations.

Panting, I shook my head a couple of times.

I lowered my eyelids and silently counted for several seconds before lifting them again, hoping that when I opened my eyes, this lie of a delusion would have disappeared.

And unlike the last time with the snake, this time, my effort worked.

I raised my head.

Jiyod stood in front of me.

A black cloak draped down his back, its shadow stretching like the darkness of the night sky, covering the dim parts of the courtyard.

I blinked, closed my eyes, and opened them again.

He was still there.

Like a statue, but with a gentle smile on his face.

The heavy black shadow that had covered the entire courtyard a moment ago seemed to flash before my eyes, as though it had imprinted itself on the inside of my eyelids, but it was merely my rusty optic nerves mistaking the sway of his cloak.

In the seconds it took me to confirm whether the Jiyod standing before me was yet another hallucination, he made the first move. His hand reached out, catching me around the waist. Before I could even resist, I was pulled into his arms.

“Why didn’t you flip the coin?”

He lowered his head and pressed his lips against my forehead as he asked, his voice rough, as though he had swallowed thorns.

With my face buried in his shoulder, I let him rub his warm lips between my eyebrows.

“Answer me.”

His arm tightened around my waist.

Instead of answering, I spread my arms and wrapped them around his broad chest. His body twitched briefly in my embrace. I lifted my head from his shoulder and looked up at him. As our gazes locked for a few seconds, his sharp black pupils, set in eyes as cloudy as the Karlac sky or the winter waves of the Alto Sea, trembled slightly.

“Why are you looking at me like that? What…?”

“Kiss me.”

Maybe my panic hadn’t fully subsided yet.

Maybe my madness was still raging inside my skull…

Why are you here? How did you know I was here? Why do you always appear, like a lie, exactly when I want to see you…? Those questions didn’t matter. The words simply slipped out.

The embarrassment came afterward. My cheeks began to flush. I lowered my gaze but tightened my arms around him, pulling him closer.

“If you don’t want to, forget it…”

My treacherous mouth let out those words easily, even though my arms were clinging to him like a desperate child.

A low chuckle escaped him.

He lowered his head and slowly pressed his lips to my cheek, then moved them gradually downward.

I tilted my head slightly upward and kissed him first. His lips softly sucked my upper lip.

“Mm…”

A moan escaped my mouth.

A shiver ran down my spine.

Compared to the violent force that had pried my mouth open earlier, this kiss was unnervingly sweet. I parted my lips a little wider, craving the way he had previously licked inside my mouth so intensely.

My fingertips scratched his back. Beneath his lips, I timidly whispered, “More, more.” His chest rumbled softly with laughter, and finally, his hand grasped my chin. He lifted my face, adjusting the angle, and pressed his lips more deeply against mine. His tongue slid between my lips a few times. Growing impatient, I stood on tiptoe, pushing my face closer to his. My body writhed against him without realizing it.

“Haa.”

He briefly pulled away and exhaled.

“Why, why…?”

As soon as he withdrew before I’d had enough, my impatient body twitched.

“I smell blood.”

His voice was low.

“It’s your blood, but… who else is it?”

Jiyod grabbed my chin and brought his face close to mine. His ashen eyes scanned me from top to bottom, as if examining me. A tremor passed through me from my fingertips to my toes. My neck shrank, and I swallowed hard.

Instead of answering his question, I tightened my arms around him. Our bodies pressed together with no gaps between us, and instead of the cold air, a hot wave stirred where our skin touched. I traced my fingers along his back. Beneath his tunic and shirt, I could feel his straight spine, and the firm muscles filling the space between each bone clung to my palms.

“Kiss me more…”

I whispered while looking up at him.

I didn’t want to think about anything.

As my desire wasn’t immediately fulfilled, my short patience ran out. I raised myself onto my toes again and pressed my lips against his lower lip. I cautiously sucked on it, licking between his lips. The metallic scent and faint musk emanating from him made my back tingle. My breathing became rough, the sound of an animal’s panting escaping from me.

I scratched his back with my fingertips. My toes curled, and my hips trembled. I wanted to cling to him even more. A fire flared up inside my lower abdomen. Memories of his firm fingers that once caressed me and the hot tongue that teased my lips, as well as the pleasure I sought alone on countless nights, overtook my mind.

Right now, hurry!

My nerves screamed. Finally unable to hold back, I slid my hand downward, feeling around his waist. I found the belt securing his long tunic and my fingers began to fumble inside his clothes when Jiyod suddenly grabbed my wrist.

I looked up at him.

“Not here.”

“I don’t care if it’s here.”

I responded quickly, impatient.

“You don’t have to undress if you don’t want to. Just, even a little, quickly….”

I didn’t care if we were in the dark corner of the hallway, hidden from people’s eyes, like beasts. I didn’t care if we didn’t take off our clothes, didn’t share tender caresses, or soft words, and simply joined together at our hips. As long as this heat burning inside me could be cooled down, I truly didn’t care.

I leaned forward, trying to kiss him again. But just then, Jiyod wrapped an arm around my waist and lifted me up. My body shot upward, and instinctively I clung to his neck with both arms. At the same moment, his other hand slapped my bottom with a loud smack.

I gasped, my mouth falling open. But no scream escaped; I could only swallow down my breath.

“Don’t be so impatient.”

He bit down on my earlobe. It hurt. A sob that wasn’t even a scream slipped out.

“No matter how much you beg, I’m not doing anything here.”

With that whisper, he quickly started walking.

The cold rejection, coupled with the fact that he had slapped me like a child, filled me with such sorrow that tears welled up at the corners of my eyes.

“That’s too cruel….”

“Don’t worry. Even if you don’t rush…”

The rest of his words were too low for me to catch.

Desire, frustration, and a whirlwind of emotions I couldn’t name swirled in my stomach. Even when I had bitten Lister’s tongue and run away, I hadn’t shed a tear. But now, just from being denied a kiss and more, tears welled up in my eyes, filled with sorrow. I couldn’t understand myself, but I couldn’t hold back the sobs. A sniffle escaped.

Jiyod laughed softly and lifted the hem of his cloak, draping it over my shoulders. He pressed his lips gently to my cheek, as if to soothe me. I buried my face in his shoulder and continued sniffling like a fool.

By the time we arrived at Ipsen Manor, I was utterly exhausted, limp.

He led me to the bathroom. The deep tub was already filled with hot water, steam thickly clouding the air. A soft, damp scent rose from the cedarwood mat beneath my feet. Jiyod set me down by the tub and slowly undressed me. I had only been wearing a thin shirt and pants beneath my coat and tunic, so my bare skin was soon exposed before him. Thankfully, the steam blurred my vision. He helped me into the tub.

“You need to calm down.”

He whispered softly, placing a hand on my shoulder.

I numbly nodded.

“Call if you need anything.”

With those words, he left the bathroom.

Only the quiet sound of water sloshing remained.

As my body sank deep into the hot water, covering me up to my chin, my limbs felt like they were melting. My frozen body slowly loosened in the warm water, and along with it, my mind began to return to clarity.

My face heated up.

I squeezed my eyes shut and dunked my head completely under the surface of the water.