ALL NOVEL CHAPTER 95: Day 4 Night – Keldan Eggs
That night, only one demon dog attacked, and Atlas knew why. They hadn’t bought the Mana Dome of MegaAwesomeness. ‘The Mana dome of MegaAwesomeness builds up mana in the area, drawing in more demon dogs as it accumulates,‘ he thought. ‘Without it constantly running, only a few random demon dogs are attracted.‘
The Portal Crushers dispatched the demon dog with ease, their experience showing in their swift and efficient takedown. Only Randy ended up injured, and as he lay there, he couldn’t help but think, ‘This is ridiculous. I’m supposed to be a hero, a warrior in the making, and here I am, injured because I screwed up. I thought I was tougher than this. What a letdown.‘
Randy had been injured when the leg bone pole he tried to stab with had missed.
Barbara quickly treated him and reminded him to be more careful.
Randy's brain was filled with thoughts about being injured and filled him with frustration. ‘Great, just great,‘ he thought bitterly. ‘I’m supposed to be a hero, an OP warrior like in my D&D campaigns, and here I am, getting hurt because I missed a stab. What a joke. Guess I’m not as tough as I thought.‘
As the dog attack marked the end of the night and the crowd began to disperse, returning to their tasks or heading to their makeshift beds, John approached Atlas. "You're doing a good job keeping everyone focused," he said quietly. "But this isn't going to get easier."
Atlas sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I know, John. But we've got to keep pushing forward. The wasteland isn't going to wait for us to catch our breath."
John nodded in agreement. "Then let's make sure everyone's ready for what's coming."
Atlas clapped him on the shoulder. "We will be. We don't have any other choice."
After that, John caught up with Noi. "Hey, Noi, how are we doing? Can we do a quick inventory check?"
Noi nodded. "Here, let me grab Amber too."
"Sounds good," said John.
Noi started, "Well, we've put together enough helmets for five people today, and the bone armor is looking good."
Amber chimed in, "We've got enough food in the form of the Ultra Manly Buff Bars for another day or two, and the water situation is looking alright too."
John sighed, "Yeah, we had prepared for the portals, but we hadn’t prepared for double the number of people. I guess we were just thinking about ourselves."
Amber said, "Well, thank God you did. Otherwise, I don’t know what we’d be eating."
"Hey, those pudding cups were pretty tasty. It did make me a bit sleepy though," added Noi.
"Do we still have the weapons that we brought over from Earth?" asked John.
"Yeah, we do," Amber replied. "Most of them are pretty garbage in the wasteland, but they kind of work."
"What about the two guns Atlas brought? We’ve never even used them," asked John.
"I don’t think we should," Amber said, shaking her head. "With the way weapons are deteriorated, those guns might explode if you shoot them."
"They might explode, huh?" Atlas mused. "Well, that gives me a good idea. Can you grab me those cartridges ?"
"Yeah, okay," said Noi. They grabbed the cartridges, and Atlas instructed, "Hey, pull all the cartridges out of the magazines and roll them through the muck here."
"Really?" Amber asked.
"Yeah, help me out with this," Atlas said.
They took all the remaining ammunition and rolled it through the slurry of dirt and blood left over from the demon dogs. Once done, they put the cartridges back in the magazines and clipped them into the weapons.
“Now take some of the pudding and slime leftovers, and jam them deep into the barrels.”
Amber and Noi were confused but did as he asked.
Atlas grinned, "This will be perfect.”
Later that night, Atlas was getting out of the Japanese-style bathhouse when he was approached by Titus.
"Hey Atlas, this might be a stupid question," Titus said, hesitating. "But, and hear me out here—don’t punch me or cut my dick off with a sword."
Atlas raised an eyebrow, intrigued. "What?"
‘I didn’t think my reputation was so hard-assed.‘
“Well, Mama said, talking about the end of the world is like saying your buddy got dumped just because he got in a fight with his girlfriend. So, why’d you call it an apocalypse? I mean, yeah, this sucks and all, but it really ain’t that bad. There’s only twenty people portaled in, and with the twenty settlements on the leaderboard, that’s what—four hundred people? That’s not really a wasteland apocalypse.”
Atlas frowned. "For god’s sake, it’s not just twenty settlements. Those are just the top and bottom."
"Even if it’s like fifty settlements times twenty, that’s still only a thousand people. More people die choking on Keldan eggs a day, right?"
Atlas looked puzzled. "What are those?"
"Keldan eggs? Ah, you probably don’t have kids. They’re these little chocolate eggs with a toy inside. Kids were dying because they’d swallow the eggs with the toy still in it."
"That’s nuts," Atlas said, shaking his head.
"Yeah, the crazy thing was the chocolate was really good, and the toys inside were little army men or milkmaids."
"Army men? Milkmaids?" Atlas repeated.
"Yeah, the Keldan eggs were made by a Georgian village—the country, not the state—and the money supported the war on terrorists. I got myself a whole mess of them in my collection. Mama said I was too old for toys but I got them anyway."
Atlas looked at him incredulously. "And they banned these eggs? And really, more than a thousand people died from eating the Keldan eggs toys?"
"Well, I don’t know the exact number, but definitely some people did die. So yeah, I think so?”
Atlas sighed. "Don’t think these thousand people you’ve seen portaled in are the norm. You’re going to see more people portaling in right quick. I’m guessing at most two or three days from now. And those people are going to die and keep dying—definitely more deaths than by Keldan eggs."
Titus scratched his head. "You know, it’s kind of funny when you think about it. Earth had all these laws to protect people from their own stupidity. Like, who the hell thinks, 'Yeah, I’ll swallow a whole damn egg, toy and all'? But here, you make one dumb mistake, and you’re dog chow. There’s no safety net."
Atlas smirked. "Yeah, Earth was overrun with stupidity. Too many laws to protect people from their own idiocy. Out here, you either get smarter or you don’t survive. Darwin awards are handed out daily."
"Maybe that’s why lawyers don’t exist here, Mama said lawyers are professional liars," Titus mused. "No one needs someone to argue their way out of a bad decision. You make your bed, you lie in it. I wonder how many of those high priced blood suckers got portaled in?"
Atlas chuckled. "If lawyers did exist here, they’d be out of a job pretty quick. Can’t sue a demon dog for mauling you because you were dumb enough to poke it with a stick. And don’t even get me started on the stupidity of it all."
Titus laughed. "Yeah, I can see the ad now: 'Have you been injured in a demon attack? Call the Law Offices of Get Smart or Die Trying!'"
Atlas shook his head, smiling. "Hell, I’m just glad I don’t have to deal with lawyers out here. They’d probably try to sue me for leading everyone into this mess."
Titus grinned. "Wouldn’t be surprised. Mama said if you’re talking to a lawyer, you already got problems. They’d find a way to blame you for everything."
As Titus took in this news and headed back to the sleeping areas to think about it, Atlas stood by the fire, staring into the flames as they danced in the dark. The wasteland was unforgiving, but he was determined to lead his people through it, no matter the cost. They had made progress today, and tomorrow, they would push even further. The monsters, the dungeons, the mana—it was all a part of the game they had to master to survive. And quite a game it was...
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