Auntie toasts the VRMMORPG

Flora stared at the Administrator. His eyes were hidden behind reflective sunglasses, and the datastreams glowed on his midnight blue suit. 

"Hello, Flowing Flowers. May I come right to the point?" The Administrator asked his standard question.

"No. Let's have a bit of small talk. How have you been?"

Flowing Flowers to Aidan: "Start recording." 

"Fine. Thank you. Congratulations, following bug has been discovered by you:

• Unusual high-grade AI mirror.

The bug will be fixed immediately, and your mirror in the Simulation Grounds will have the standard stand-in AI for users. You earned 100 VirDias for disclosing this exploit."

"Unusual high-grade AI? Nice formulation."

"Additionally, I have a non-disclosure agreement for you to sign. We offer you 100000 VirDos for keeping silent about the specifics of the unusual high-grade AI."

"What happens if I don't sign the agreement?"

"The matter will be delegated to our lawyers."

"I will consult with my attorneys and come back to you."

"I raise the offer to 200000 VirDos if you sign now."

"No, thank you."

"Our lawyers aren't the friendliest type."

"I know. I've met them."

"My last offer is 300000 VirDos."

"Alright, I can at least look at the contract. Maybe I fancy it." Flora added in her mind, 'And I get a nice video shot of the terms.'

Flora looked it over. She had only signed NDA's concerning technical development, but it was pretty similar. 

Don't tell, don't imply, don't communicate in any way what you have seen, heard, or what you assume about the unusual high-grade AI.

What stood out was the outrageously breach of contract terms: She had to pay 5 million Euros for loose lips.

"I'm sorry I have to consult with my lawyers about this."

"Very well. The matter is out of my hands."

Suddenly, Eddie appeared in the workshop.

He brandished a saber and pointed it at the Administrator.

"You won't hurt my friend, scoundrel!" He exclaimed in the best theater manner. But then he paused. "Though you wear the most fabulous jacket I've ever seen!"

"This is the Administrator. He is the AI that handles the user interaction concerning exploits and bugs." Flora pointed to Eddie. "This is Eddie. He is part of my legal counsel and emotional support animal, I mean, he is my friend."

"And I'm a famous actor! If you kill me suddenly in my pod, reporters will ask questions!"

"Nobody talks about killing anyone." Flora said placatory, but then she looked at the emotionless face of the Administrator. "Right?"

"Of course, not. We have other methods to silence people."

"Doom, doom, doom, doooooom." Eddie hummed a spooky soundtrack. "You can't shut me up! Especially not about that jacket. What do you think, Flora?"

"It's great. I'll make you one. Sent me your favorite pattern, and I add the effects. What do you think about blue with silver data streams?" 

"Excellent. Now that we have cleared up the important issues, it would help me if you would explain the rest of the situation."

"Naturally, I have a simulation ground where I can test inventions in different conditions. You can put people in there as well, for example, to check the weather resistance of clothing."

"I have to warn you. Do not continue telling about you know what!" 

"I haven't signed the NDA yet. Besides, just make a new one, which includes Eddie. I need emotional support!" Flora insisted. "I noticed that the mirror-Flora behaved like me and investigated. She wrote messages to me, in which she explained that she feels so real she's having problems believing she is only a copy."

"Wow! And you have no recollection of actually being the mirror-Flora?" Eddie asked.

"None! I'm participating in a project where CentralTank does deep scans of my brain. I assume they built a Flora-AI with that data."

"This is purely speculation, and we neither deny nor confirm it."

"I have always thought you are at least part computer, and now there is really a Flora AI! Are you sure you are real?"

Flora did some math in her head and failed. "Mostly. But what about you? Maybe you are an Eddie-AI sent to placate me!"

"Oh, no! Am I me?" Eddie grinned. "Darling, I'm having the time of my life! Just the thought that there might be more 'me' than 'me' makes me happy! Did you discover a method to distinguish real-Flora and mirror-Flora?" Eddie glanced at the Administrator. "And shouldn't we talk in private?"

"The chances are good that they read our minds anyway."

"What?" Eddie exclaimed. "They can't do that!"

"How do you think brainwave technology works? They interpret the signals in our brains and transform them into actions in the virtual world. I noticed I'm a lot less introverted here."

"But, but..." Eddie stammered.

"And since when do you stutter? You would never do it in the real world."

"In this case, stammering is an adequate reaction! Nobody ever told me that they could read my mind in the real world!" Eddie paused. "Well, once a fortune-teller did, but I only believed him, because he told me I have a magnificent mind!"

"You haven't proved to be real, yet, honey. Just try to lie to me. AIs aren't allowed to lie."

"I don't like you."

"That doesn't count. If you were a malevolent AI, you wouldn't like me."

"I'm the father of 999 children."

"Hmm ... who knows what your AI was up to when you weren't aware... "

"Flora! Darling! Have mercy!"

"Okay, I believe you are you." Flora yielded. "So, where do we go from here?"

"I don't know." Eddie grinned. "You always have the most interesting problems, love!"

"Please consider the option to ignore the assumptions. I have a very attractive NDA to offer if you will never tell anyone about the unusual, high-grade AI." The Administrator halted. "One moment, please, my superiors want to add the mind-reading to it." 

Eddie groaned. 

"Let's look at the situation from different angles. What do we know? There is a Flora which acts like a Flora, but I have no recollection of her."

"I hate to suggest it, but have you thought about the possibility that you sent yourself the messages and just forgot about it?"

"I'm not that senile! I believe, I mean I'm sure! Burned Toast and stale jam! Aidan, help!"

"The probability of this hypothesis being true is almost zero percent, Milady. I would have noticed you doing it."

"See! And we wouldn't have to sign an NDA."

Eddie shrugged. "I'm just thorough!"

"Besides the AI-Hypotheses, only highly unlikely explanations come to my mind. Like time-travel. A future Flora might have sent me the messages as a prank."

They looked at each other and shook their heads.

"When we go with the AI-Flora, then the next questions are who created her for what purpose. I wouldn't eliminate the possibility that it formed by itself with no purpose."

"I would," Eddie said with confidence. "The conversation would be over if we agreed on a freak accident."

"Alright, next: what purpose can an AI Flora have? Maybe someone thought that there aren't enough toasters in the world, and we need more Floras to create more?"

In Flora's mind, toaster cars drove through the streets filled with people with toaster-backpacks, toaster-hats, and pushing toaster-trolleys. A happy smile grazed her face.

"Nope. Unlikely."

"I'm sorry, I don't know if I have any other ability or trait that sets me apart. My synchronization is pretty high, though."

"You have plenty of fabulous traits and abilities besides your mastery on toasters, darling! Don't sell yourself short!"

"Maybe it has something to do with runes? I believe I was pretty creative with them. Or maybe it has nothing to do with me at all, and they just took me because they have the most data of my brain because I used the technology for so long."

"Let's focus on the use of a personalized clone. I have to admit I would love to have one and would pay good money for it."

"What for?"

"Censored!" Eddie smirked.

"Come on, you can tell me."

"Not when I have to follow your rule to keep it PG-13."

"Eddie! You lecher!"

"There are arguments for having a clone apart from the honkey-donkey-monkey stuff, it is a form of eternal life, right?"

"Hmm. I agree. I would love to talk with a mirror-Flora. Would I like myself? Would I get on my nerves? Interacting with yourself might be the ultimate character test. If you hate your clone, you are an asshole."

"What about people who have low self-esteem and hate themself?"

"Maybe they would finally recognize that they are great when they experience the exterior view."

"Fascinating! Admin-Guy, may I have an unusual high-grade AI, too? I have always wanted to know if I'm an asshole."

"But what if they have enslaved our mirrors and they have to ... I don't know! Do something horrible in some cellar."

When Flora saw Eddie looking intrigued, she rolled her eyes and tried a different scenario. "What if they only get to wear ugly clothes?"

This amendment provoked the fitting expression of horror in Eddie's face.

"I want rights for my clone!" Eddie proclaimed.

"Me too! And for the other AI's as well! We need a slogan."

"AI rights are human rights!"

"Those who deny rights to others deserve them not for themselves!"

"I think, therefore I am."

The Administrator watched the two elders without moving a muscle. Nothing could be differentiated between him and a statue. 

"Darling, maybe we move to fast. I'm still afraid of AIs. What if they stage an uprising and overthrow the government?"

"Yes, I feel you. I first thought, what if they wanted wages? The whole economy would collapse, but then I remembered that it is isn't the first time we got rid of slavery, and it isn't the first time people have asked exactly the same questions." 

"But in the past, the question of freedom only applied to humans."

"And now we apply it to all thinking and feeling creatures."

"We are both white. If we stage a revolution, we feed the Pocahontas trope. Maybe the AIs are perfectly capable of fighting for their own rights."

"That's the silliest counter-argument I've ever heart. I am not a revolutionary. I'd rather lead by example. We will first speak with our own AI's and look at how freedom suits them and go from there." Flora sighed. "Mr. Administrator, throw us a bone. You've heard us drowning in strange ideas when left alone!"

"That rhymes. Hence, it must be followed!" Eddie added with conviction.

Finally, the Administrator started to move again. "Please prepare for guests. "

The forewarning didn't help. Flora still yelped when two more men appeared, while Eddie swung his saber around. The smaller one, a middle-aged white man with a friendly round face, waved at them. The other man appeared to be a villain straight out of a comic. He had deep-set dark eyes, with thick rings beneath them and an evil goaty. Of course, he sneered.

After taking a deep breath, Flora remembered her manners. "Sorry, I have no refreshments. Now I feel like a bad host!"

"No problem, Ma'am. We won't be a bother. I'm Benedict Langford, the Director of Global Endeavors, and this is my colleague Carlton Zarrec, the head of the AI department. "

"Nice to meet you, gentlemen. "Flora answered politely. 

Meanwhile, Eddie straightened and grinned at them. It was his professional smile sharpened by years of use. 

"How nice of you to come by. "Eddie sounded like he meant it, and Flora admired him for it. 

Immediately, he started to make small talk after he gave Flora a hint on what to do with herself, aside from staring at the badges of their guests.

"Why don't you built us some comfy chairs, darling? "

Nickname: Doge

Level: 250

Guild: CentralTank Management

Rating: F

Nickname: Headmaster

Level: 250

Guild: CentralTank Management

Rating: F

Flora to Aidan, "Is this the fabled Headmaster? "

Aidan's voice answered her uncharacteristically subdued. "Yes, Milady. "

Mentally, Flora reached out to Aitoshuri. Usually, her connection felt weak and a bit strained compared to Aidan's. Now, it was a quivering mess.

Flora to Aito: "Stay strong, dear. We trust in Eddie. He is a dragon tamer and horse whisperer. The person immune to his charm has yet to spawn. If he fails, I will be the second fortress he will have to conquer to get to you, and I have cauldrons of hot jam to pour over attackers. "

After reassuring her AIs, she fetched the Library-Container for Aito. 

Flora decided on some padded chairs with a pattern of little toasters, because she needed something to comfort her and a simple round stone table. Big enough to give everyone space to gesticulate but cozy enough not to feel like strangers.

When she finished the furniture, Eddie and Benedict were best friends. Carlton's eyelids, on the other hand, twitched, and Flora had the impression that he was one more story of a fabulous sailing turn away from combustion. 

After they got seated, Eddie tried to include her and the Headmaster into the conversation. Flora tried to engage and got some sentences in about the picturesque houseboats of the Netherlands, but her heart wasn't into it. Instead, she watched the robot arm of library container changing books in record speed, even though it trembled. Every time Flora saw the tremors, her rage rose a bit.

Flowing Flowers to Aitoshuri: "Stay strong, sweety."

Aitoshuri beeped at her insistingly. 

Usually, Flora didn't understand Aito's noises, but now she clearly felt that Aito wasn't afraid, but angry. When Aito beeped once more, the single sound translated in Flora's mind to 'I want to hit him! I want to throw something at him! Just not my precious books!'.

Flora relaxed. She had misinterpreted the trembling robot arm. It shook because Aito tried not to do something stupid and not out of fear.

"Hitting him wouldn't accomplish anything constructive. The crucial question is: would it make you feel better?"

Beep!

"Alright, do we have a fitting book for the situation? We can't hurt him. Hence we should go for the most humiliating choice."

Aitoshuri sent her a link: "Turning the tables on the Headmaster. School of Spanking 4. By Horn Y. Whiter."

"Perfect!" Smirking, Flora ordered it. Torky fetched it from the mailbox and fed it to the 3D-printer. Now, Flora selected it in the workshop and put it into the Library container.

"Just throw it over, after you have finished it, dear," Flora said out loud.