Ball-Boy Tactics

It must seem strange. More than that, it must even come off as creepy. I shouldn’t have pretended not to care about his love life. I don’t necessarily want to impress Kwon Jungwoo, but I do want to seem normal, yet it feels like I keep showing him my worst side, which fills me with self-loathing.My mouth started moving again, mumbling out words, as if some desperate instinct was trying to defend me.“Uh, that wasn’t me… My sister came home a while ago. I think it was her, yeah.”“Everyone in the country knows you’re an only child.”“Right. Yeah. Everyone knows I’m an only child… So the sister I’m talking about is, you know, one of those.”“……”“A… cousin sister!”Kwon Jungwoo furrowed his brows and asked, “What?” His gaze, meeting mine, shifted to a meaningful look as he caught on to my clumsy lie. But thankfully, he didn’t press the matter.“Well, fine. Let’s just say that’s the case.”He clearly didn’t believe me, but I gave up trying to explain and closed the internet window. At this point, I was burning with both shame and the overwhelming desire to just finish the assignment, never mind attaching the video or whatever.“Um, well… Shall we continue? I’ll stop talking now. We’re almost done, so I think we can finish in ten minutes.”Kwon Jungwoo nodded in response and returned to looking at the materials. The way he leaned diagonally against the sofa felt like he understood my discomfort and was willing to let it go. I almost wished he would get angry or tease me instead. Sometimes, Kwon Jungwoo’s consideration only made me feel more ridiculous.After an awkward ten minutes, the PPT was finally complete. I sent the file to Kwon Jungwoo, tidied up, and noticed that the clock hands were already pointing to midnight.“Ah, today felt so long.”Kwon Jungwoo’s voice stretched as he spoke, yawning. It only just hit me that Kwon Jungwoo had played in a match and then came over to work on the assignment.“Want some water?”“Just a glass.”Kwon Jungwoo, still leaning against the sofa, said this while looking at the ceiling with his eyes closed. The sofa must have been comfortable as his eyes remained shut, resting peacefully.It made his prominent Adam’s apple stand out. Though his skin was smooth, the thick silhouette of his neck was even more striking. Maybe it was his languid face and posture, but my mind began to blur again despite my intentions.I stood there aimlessly, almost touching the thick strands of his tousled hair scattered on the sofa. If Kwon Jungwoo hadn’t spoken up with his eyes still closed, I might have stayed there for hours.“How’s the contest preparation going?”“The contest? Oh, I’m working on it bit by bit… How are you getting home? Do you need a ride?”“I can walk. It’s just around the corner.”I hastily opened the fridge to grab some bottled water. I was worried the bottle might not be full enough, and sure enough, the glass was only half-filled. It was such a small amount that it felt embarrassing to offer it.“Um, listen—”I turned around to apologize, but suddenly found myself making eye contact with Kwon Jungwoo, who had been watching me. I wasn’t sure if he had anticipated my actions or if he had been lost in thought, but our eyes met unexpectedly. He seemed to notice the awkwardness of the moment, and quickly straightened up, running a hand through his hair.“What is it?”“…There’s not much water left. How about some sparkling water instead?”“It’s fine. This is enough.”Kwon Jungwoo took the water I offered and drank it down, emptying the glass in just a few gulps, as if he had been incredibly thirsty.“Do you want some more sparkling water?”“Is it hard for you to build muscle?”His sudden question threw me off. I just blinked, unable to respond, and Kwon Jungwoo, his lips now wet from the water, added, “You were an athlete, but it doesn’t look like you have much muscle.”“Ah, yeah. I’ve always had a hard time building muscle, but since I stopped working out like I used to, I’ve lost even more muscle mass. I didn’t think it would be that noticeable.”“Maybe it’s because of gymnastics…”Kwon Jungwoo’s expression as he looked up at me felt unfamiliar. The tiredness from earlier was gone, and his eyes were sharper than usual as they slowly took me in.“You look different from other people. That’s why I recognized you.”“…What?”“Anyway, good job. I’ll try to cover any shortcomings during the presentation.”I still didn’t fully understand what he meant, but my thoughts were cut off when Kwon Jungwoo stood up. I was left dumbfounded, watching him, now much taller than me, and quickly followed him to the shoe rack.“You did well too. Are you sure you don’t need a ride?”“Just take a shower and get some sleep. Your hair’s sticking up like crazy here.”When Kwon Jungwoo pointed to a spot behind my ear, I touched it and realized my hair was sticking out in a weird direction. I thought it hadn’t been noticeable, but I must have looked ridiculous all this time.“Oh no… This is really bad.”“See you tomorrow.”Whether it was my messy hair or my flustered reaction that amused him, Kwon Jungwoo left with a light laugh. I wanted to at least walk him to the elevator, but he closed the front door while I was still flustered, leaving me awkwardly standing there, unsure whether to follow.I had no choice but to give up on seeing him off. Looking in the mirror, I saw that my hair was indeed sticking up like an idiot. I couldn’t believe I had been sitting next to Kwon Jungwoo, laughing and working on the assignment with my hair like this. Feeling a bit despondent, I uselessly tried to flatten it by rolling it to the opposite side.As I showered, I kept thinking about Kwon Jungwoo throughout the day. Kwon Jungwoo, who recognized me at the basketball court. Kwon Jungwoo, who I saw through my fingers on the court. Kwon Jungwoo, who smiled confidently at me.“So that’s why I recognized you.”It suddenly hit me that this mysterious comment was his response to something I had said earlier.I dried my wet hair, lay down on the bed, and imagined if Kwon Jungwoo had arrived home by now. I thought about contacting him under the pretense of being considerate, but I decided against it, worrying that I’d be upset if he didn’t reply. Now that I think about it, our group project ended today. Although we would still attend classes together until the semester ended, there wouldn’t be any more opportunities to talk about a shared topic or for Kwon Jungwoo to come to my house like he did today.It might be a good time to let go of these feelings.I tried to think positively, hoping for a happy ending, and attempted to sleep, not realizing that my space would soon be overwhelmed by the comforting scent of Kwon Jungwoo.***We were the third group to present, focusing on Western architectural culture. It took less than 30 minutes from the start of the class until our turn, but Byun Seungjin and Yang Euno had already fallen asleep in the meantime.They had been drinking late last night, and when they complained about their puffy faces, Kwon Jungwoo remarked, “Your breath stinks, so just keep quiet and sleep.” I worried that he might have been too harsh, but Byun Seungjin and Yang Euno just laughed innocently and said, “Should we?” before actually passing out.Kwon Jungwoo then suggested playing rock-paper-scissors with me, with the condition that if he won, he’d remove them from the project participation list. Luckily, I won the game, avoiding any conflict.“Hello, we are Group 3, and we’ll be presenting on Western architectural culture,” Kwon Jungwoo greeted as he stood at the podium. The students in the lecture hall clapped excessively. Many of them openly glanced back and forth between Kwon Jungwoo and me. While others would have a typical group presentation, our group was in the spotlight from the start.My hands were trembling just because the PPT I made was being displayed on the screen, but Kwon Jungwoo seemed completely at ease, not nervous at all as he delivered the presentation. In truth, our content was somewhat lacking, but Kwon Jungwoo, aware of this, skillfully glossed over the weak points and focused on other aspects. The students naturally got drawn into his smooth presentation.I happened to make eye contact with Kwon Jungwoo while he was presenting, just as I was fully engrossed in what he was saying.When our eyes met, Kwon Jungwoo unexpectedly flashed a smile.His gaze soon shifted, and the presentation continued, but that one smile stopped my thoughts in their tracks. It felt like the trembling had moved to my heart, and I worried that it might just break down. The presentation, which had been so clear a moment ago, now barely registered. All I could focus on was his low but strong voice, his confident and commanding expression, and his imposing frame.In many ways, Kwon Jungwoo and I were similar in that we were always in the spotlight, constantly receiving attention. But I couldn’t understand how he managed to remain confident and poised, even under such intense scrutiny. Watching him present so adeptly, I felt a deep sense of admiration once again.How could anyone not like someone like him?The notion of letting go of my feelings was utterly unrealistic. I realized it was impossible for me not to like Kwon Jungwoo. Why shouldn’t I just go ahead and like him? I wanted to. I even justified it to myself—this isn’t a purpose-driven emotion, so there’s nothing to give up on. It’s just a fleeting feeling that will naturally fade away over time.But in truth… it felt like I had already gone too far to turn back.After the presentation, during the Q&A session, no one asked any questions. With no one raising their hand, Kwon Jungwoo returned to his seat right away. When he asked, “Did I do well?” I nodded and gave him a small smile. The camaraderie that had been overshadowed by my feelings for him suddenly came to the fore, making the end of the project feel even more bittersweet.Was it the same for him? Kwon Jungwoo stared intently at me with a smile, then softly whispered.“What are you doing after the midterms?”“After the midterms? Not much… why?”“Let’s go out for drinks with the others.”“Drinks?”“Don’t want to?”“…No, I’d like that.”I chewed on the inside of my mouth, worried that my expression might give away how happy I was. Sensing my agreement, Kwon Jungwoo flashed a knowing smile, and that was the end of it.The screen had already transitioned to the next group’s flashy PPT, and I suppressed the urge to ask where and how we’d be going out by focusing on learning from the other groups’ presentation designs.After what felt like an eternity, class ended, and Byun Seungjin and Yang Euno, like clockwork, sprang to their feet. Byun Seungjin, more freckled than ever due to fatigue, stretched his arms.“It’s already over? Hey, let’s go for drinks! How about starting with a hangover cure for the first round, huh? Deal?”“Are you insane? You were just drinking four hours ago, and you want to drink again? But if the snack is pork bone soup, I might consider it.”“If that’s the case, let’s run to the pork bone soup place!!”Byun Seungjin and Yang Euno pretended to run, laughing loudly. It seemed they were still a bit drunk. Watching them blankly, Kwon Jungwoo suddenly extended his fist toward me as if suggesting another game of rock-paper-scissors, but I just laughed and shook my head.“If you want to drink, do it without me. I’m not drinking tonight.”“Ah, Kwon Jungwoo, come on! You skipped out yesterday, saying you had to work on a project! What project was it again? Anyway, did you at least submit the report?”“Yeah. I’m going to remove one of the team members’ names right now.”As Kwon Jungwoo was about to follow the professor out, I hurriedly grabbed the hem of his jacket. He let me hold on, sighing deeply before lightly tapping Byun Seungjin’s shoulder.“Make sure you’re on the opposing team during practice games.”“No way. Every time I have to defend against you, I’m terrified my jaw will get smashed.”“And the after-party is next week, after the midterms.”“Why again? Let’s do it today and then again next week!”“Han Jiwon is free next week. Oh, and stop clinging to me, you idiot. Wait until you sober up.”“Ah, Jiwon! I’m all in for next week!”It was Yang Euno who finally managed to calm down the overly enthusiastic Byun Seungjin by slapping his outstretched arm and saying, “He says he doesn’t want to hang out with you because your feelings stink.” Their bickering was so childish that it was hard to watch.“Looks like they’re pretty drunk.”Unconsciously, I took a step back from them and found myself standing next to Kwon Jungwoo. Not realizing how close we were, I turned my head to the side and bumped the brim of my hat against his shoulder.“Ah, sorry.”“Aren’t you going to study for the midterms? If you’re not busy later, come to the library.”It seemed that Kwon Jungwoo wasn’t bothered by the bump at all as he changed the subject. He lifted his large hand and pressed down on my hat, which had tilted to the side. I could distinctly feel the warmth of his palm on my head.“Let’s study together later.”Maybe it was the unexpected physical contact, but the idea of studying together suddenly sounded appealing.