Be Gay Do Crime

Ashe played a lot of video games over the years, and one of her favorite activities in shooters was the timed courses that some developers slipped in.  That her parent’s favorite shooting range offered exactly that was one of her favorite parts of getting to go.  At least it was before her hand was rendered barely functional. 

She could easily admit she was dreading how badly her performance was going to slip compared to her visit just two months prior.  Ashe didn’t hold any sort of course record, as they didn’t officially track minors differently from adults, though she was informed by one of the workers that she held second place if they did. 

The kid that displaced her mom held the number one spot. 

Looking over the posted leaderboard, Ashe found that she had slipped from fourteen to sixteen in the last two months.  She knew she wouldn’t be moving up the rankings this visit, if she even cracked the top fifty with this run she would be pleasantly surprised. 

Mother was taking the first crack at it, opting to give Crystal a chance to see how it was done before she got her own turn.  Ashe would be up next, and she was feeling the nerves.  Her rifle met the course standard, as did her pistol.  You were expected to deliver the standard two to the chest to each enemy target while avoiding the civilian targets interspersed and perform at minimum a single reload.  It was a static course with no moving targets and hadn’t been changed from the time the range began to implement the leaderboards. 

There were talks of building a second course, but those had been happening for as long as she had been participating and no construction was underway for such a project.  She wouldn’t mind it if they did, mostly because the nearest course to offer an alternative was a three hour drive away, not to mention that it was generic as hell. 

At least she wasn’t having to load everyone’s ammo this time as a thinly veiled attempt by her parents to have some time alone with Crystal where she couldn’t listen in.  Ashe was waiting until she had Crystal to herself to find out what they talked about, not that she expected it to be anything serious. 

A police interrogation room would have been involved if that was the case.

Only the participant was allowed on the timed course, the rest had to sit in the waiting area where they could watch on the closed circuit camera system.  Her mother was at the starting line, bringing her rifle up only to let it drop as she drew her handgun. 

The course was built so that you would need to reload at least one of your weapons at some point, and most picked their rifle.  Faster reload tricks like double mags and such were banned.  The trick that everyone overlooked was that the kid sharpshooter that showed everyone up used two pistols instead and was lightning fast with his reloads. 

The best runs were posted all over social media, and they spent several nights of family time analyzing his run to see what could be learned from what stunts he pulled.  This was the first time they were putting that knowledge to use given how her injuries delayed things. 

The lights began to flash, then turned green.  Mother moved quickly through the course, hitting her targets and opted to reload immediately after a certain target despite not being empty.  That was the first change in pattern Ashe caught.  She pressed on, vaulting cover and swapped to her pistol near the end. 

When she crossed the line, she had a new personal best to show for it.

It took a moment for Mother to collect her magazine while a staff member swept the spent brass down the grates where it was collected.  Mom caught her in a hug the moment she rejoined them, lifting her in a squealing twirl. 

“Aww, that’s adorable,” Crystal said, smiling.  “Almost enough to make you forget they’re both cops.” 

“Cops are people too,” Ashe said.  “Though I’ll admit my experience with the police is hardly typical having been raised by them for the last four years.” 

“Go to any other city in this state and I can promise you that your experience will change,” Crystal said, patting her shoulder.  “You’re up next.  Good luck.” 

Ashe snorted.  “I already know it’s going to be a shit show of a run.  Save that luck for yourself.” 

Crystal held up her hands.  “Fair enough.  Still, go have fun.  I’m itching to take a crack at this thing.” 

“At least you get to watch all three of us go at it at least once before getting your own shot at it,” Ashe said, gathering her gear.  “Time to go embarrass myself.” 

“Hey, you’ll do just fine,” Mom said as she reached the door.  “Now get out there and show everyone what a Hamilton can do.” 

Ashe laughed, shaking her head.  “Why did you take that lame ass last name again?  Everyone makes jokes about the play behind our backs, you have to know this.” 

“Because my last name sounded like gargling rocks,” Mother said.  “That made the choice fairly easy if you ask me.” 

“It was bad ass,” Ashe countered. 

Mom snorted.  “Gaelic isn’t an easy language for English speakers.  Trust me, we spared you some nasty nicknames.” 

Ashe rolled her eyes, because she still ended up with plenty of those.  Grabbing her bag, she exited the observation room and made her way to the starting line.  She set her rifle on the table and checked her pistol and spare magazines before loading her rifle and making sure both guns were chambered.  She tapped the button that started the countdown and took a deep breath. 

Green flashed in the corner of her eye and she snapped off the first shots before taking two steps and firing on the next target.  Ashe knew she was at a disadvantage on dexterity due to her injury and would need to be slower and deliberate with her shots.  She moved on, hitting the next target before vaulting cover as her mother had done.  The difference for her however was that she let her rifle drop as she cleared the hurdle and drew her handgun instead.  She wasn’t experienced at reloading a bullpup, so she wasn’t even going to attempt it on the course.

She held tight as the next targets came into view and fired.  She exhausted that magazine over the next several targets and reloaded, her left hand being well practiced at doing so.  The final target was cleared and she hit the buzzer.  The final time surprised her, as even without it being a personal best, it was still respectable, only two seconds slower than her average. 

Ashe was panting as she wiped the sweat away, but she was smiling.  She could make it work if she adapted.  Practice with her new gun plus adjustments to her grip would make up much of the difference, and some tweaks to parts on her weapons could handle the rest. 

She found her pistol mag and pocketed it before moving to the exit.  Stepping back inside her parents were both clapping with smiles on their faces.  She almost expected a blue haired missile, and was both relieved and disappointed when she found Crystal leaning against the far wall.  Her friend smirked, then flashed her a thumbs up. 

Ashe stuck her tongue out, even if she was grateful to not be further embarrassed in front of her parents. 

“Alright,” her mom said, rubbing her hands together in anticipation.  “Time to make that record my bitch.” 

Mother snorted.  “Please, we both know you can’t dom for shit.” 

“Mother!” Ashe shouted, her face positively burning. 

“Just speaking the truth,” she answered, a single finger placed on Mom’s lips.  “See, she knows when she’s not allowed to speak.” 

Ashe sputtered for a moment before her mind reengaged and she pulled the rifle strap over her head.  “I don’t need to hear this.” 

She ejected the magazine, then fumbled with the chamber for a moment before the gun was safe and set aside.  She marched over to Crystal, ignoring her parents flirting with one another as she did.  Crystal of course was laughing, leaving Ashe as the sole grumpy one in the room. 

“You did good,” Crystal said, full of mirth.  “It was smart to stick with the pistol like you did, it kept you from getting bogged down with the reload.” 

“More to do with the fact I’m not practiced with the bullpup reload like I am an AR,” Ashe said, grateful that Crystal wasn’t teasing her over her parents who were absolutely doing their damndest to embarrass her.  “I’m sure you’ll demolish my time regardless.” 

Crystal shook her head.  “Not likely.  You’ve run this course how many times?  I’m sure even your usurper studied the course extensively before he set foot on it.” 

Watching her mom step up to the starting line, Ashe couldn’t help but sigh.  “It would be rather amusing if you beat mom’s record today.” 

“I’d feel terrible if I did,” Crystal said softly.  “She’s so dedicated to being as good as she can be, no doubt to ensure she comes home at the end of the day…” 

Memories of vague nightmares came to mind, her mother sobbing over a coffin was a frequent companion when Morpheus came calling.  Ashe shook her head, pushing those dark thoughts away.  She watched the lights flash to green and her mom took off, firing as quickly as her finger could pull the trigger. 

Her magazine dropped just as she vaulted the cover, her hand moving from the barricade to her hip as soon as it wasn’t supporting her weight and slammed the magazine into the rifle.  She resumed shooting as soon as her feet were on the ground.  Ashe was biting her lip as her mom swapped to her pistol for the final stretch, then crossed the finish line and hit the button. 

“Damn, SWAT mom’s got some moves,” Crystal said nervously.

Ashe blinked.  “SWAT mom?  Really?” 

The final time flashed on screen and Ashe had to do a double take.  She’d beaten her old time, setting a new personal best, but that was nothing compared to the fact that she beat the course record by less than a tenth of a second. 

“Fuck yeah!” her mother yelled.  It was rather an uncharacteristic outburst, but given the circumstances…  “That’s my girl!  You are so getting rewarded tonight.” 

“With prime rib at the steakhouse, right?” Ashe asked with desperation. 

Crystal coughed.  “I think you might want to stay with me tonight, something tells me no amount of soundproofing is going to help with that celebration.”

“She’s absolutely correct,” Mother said, casually over her shoulder.  “I trust I don’t need to repeat the talk?” 

Ashe mutely shook her head, mind short circuiting at how brazen they were being about their fucking sex life.  She knew it was all to embarrass her, not that knowledge helped her accept it.  Worse, Crystal seemed immune to it and she was about to be without that buffer when Crystal took to the course. 

Her mom returned and caught her mother who immediately wrapped her legs around her as they twirled to bleed momentum and locked lips furiously.  Ashe looked away, knowing her face was completely crimson.  

“They really aren’t going to let up about that,” Crystal muttered.  “I keep telling them, but they won’t listen.” 

Before Ashe could ask what she meant by that, Crystal was at the table collecting her gear for the final run of the day.  She knew Crystal was in shape, Ashe had certainly stolen glances often enough to appreciate that, yet she wasn’t sure how that translated to free movement in a firefight situation.

“Good luck,” Ashe said as Crystal moved to the door.  She turned back and threw a wink over her shoulder before exiting to the course starting line. 

Her parents were still all giddy with one another, casual touches and less than subtle intimate gestures as they turned to watch Crystal’s own run.  Without Crystal there, she wasn’t quite as bothered by it, but the second hand embarrassment was still quite real. 

Crystal checked her AR over, adjusting the sights for close range and ensuring her pistol was ready.  She took a few deep breaths and tapped the starting button.  The lights shifted to green and Crystal moved.  Shots rang out and she was making good time, right up until she attempted to vault the barricade and slipped.  She fell, hard.  Ashe would have rushed inside if not for the live fire warning that would see you banned if ignored. 

“I’m good!” Crystal yelled, getting back to her feet.  

She dropped her magazine and reloaded before continuing on.  She rushed through the rest of the course, despite what looked like a leg injury, and finished only three seconds behind Ashe’s own time.  A respectable first showing, especially with the tumble she took. 

“If she hadn’t fallen,” her mom said softly. 

Her mother hummed.  “Yeah, she moved damn fast.  She might have hit the top ten otherwise.” 

A moment later the door opened and Crystal came limping out, a dark stain spreading across her shin.  She looked around the room before sighing and pointing across the way.  “I might need the first aid kit, because this hurts like hell.” 

Ashe blinked, her mind shifting from ‘girl I care about hurt’ to ‘help hurt girl’ as she quickly grabbed the one on hand and brought it to where Crystal took a seat.  She popped it open, grabbing the disinfectant spray as well as a sterile wipe and some of the bandages.  Her mom was already lifting the pant leg up while her mother spoke with one of the employees.  The waiver they signed included injuries, so they weren’t liable for any of it, but they were still offering to call for medical services. 

Getting a look at it, she had a nasty scrape from where her leg must have caught on the way down.  Ashe applied the spray, getting a hissing wince from Crystal.  She glanced up with an apologetic smile before resuming her work.  Once disinfected and cleaned up, she applied some gauze and wrapped the bandage tape around her rather muscular calf… 

“Mind out of the gutter, Ashe,” she thought as she finished dressing the wound.  “There, how does that feel?” 

“Like someone poured cheap beer over an open wound,” Crystal said, testing some weight on her leg.  “Bit of advice, if one of your ‘friends’ ever tries that, shoot the bastard before they can.  Less pain all around.” 

Ashe snorted, wondering if that had been Robbie or Keiko to make that mistake, or rather, to purposely fuck with her in a rather cruel way.  She could probably get the full story once it was just the two of them regardless. 

Mother came back from speaking with the employee, a slip of paper in her hand.  “Well, the plan was to get dinner after, but given the state of your clothes and leg…” 

“Yeah, I might have to rain-check that,” Crystal said with a dry chuckle.  “Gonna be bad enough riding my bike for the next few days.” 

“You could always take the bus,” Mom suggested. 

Crystal shook her head.  “Nah, too gay looking to get away with it in this city.” 

“Not wrong,” Mother said with a heavy sigh.  “We can give you a lift home if you would rather?” 

“No, I got this,” Crystal said, pulling a bottle from her bag.  She emptied a few pills into her palm, popped them then drank the rest of her water bottle.  “Once those kick in I should be good.” 

“Please tell me you didn’t just take opioids in front of two LEOs,” Mother muttered. 

“Hell no,” Crystal said, looking affronted.  “I’m not an idiot.  These are just over the counter generics.  If I had those I’d actually ask for the ride home.  That shit throws me for a loop.  I’m much more of a weed girl if I’m in continual pain.” 

“Also illegal,” Mom said with a weary sigh.  “Alright, but Ashe is riding with us.  You don’t need the added distraction on that thing.” 

“That’s fair,” Crystal said.  “Still planning for her to stay with me tonight so you two can get freaky loud and not worry as much?” 

Ashe cupped her face in her hands, whining as she did.  “Crys, please don’t…” 

“So long as no grandchildren happen as a result,” Mom said with a grin. 

Ashe groaned, wondering if some passing multidimensional being would be merciful and strike her down before she died of embarrassment.

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