Be Gay Do Crime

Raucous laughter filled the air of the old mechanic’s shop as Keiko was practically doubled over, struggling to breathe.  Ashe didn’t want to laugh, but she found herself stifling giggles all the same.  Robbie remained impassive, but she could see the hint of a smirk that he kept carefully concealed from Crystal as he sipped his beer. 

“It’s not that funny,” Crystal bemoaned.  “I wasn’t expecting the surface to be that slick.” 

“Most don’t vault the barrier,” Ashe said, fighting a smile.  “That only started among the vets after that kid did it during his record setting run.” 

“All three of you did it!” she protested. 

“I have three dozen runs behind me, my moms have more,” Ashe said.  “In addition, that kid has a tube series where he does parkour.” 

“And that was my first,” Crystal said, slumping. 

Keiko just laughed harder.  “Leave it to Crystal to hurt herself on her first time, again.” 

“Shut the fuck up,” Crystal groaned, cupping her face.  “That wasn’t my fault.” 

“I told you not to try it,” Keiko teased.  “But then again, you always took that as a challenge.” 

Ashe felt her stomach twist, jealousy filling her.  She knew they hadn’t been together for years, that they stayed friends after, and Ashe wasn’t dating her, but she felt it all the same.  Just a few more months and she could ask her out…  Could she actually wait that long?  She knew why they were waiting, because even if Ashe’s own parents were okay with it, the good Senator could use it to cause them all kinds of problems if he caught wind. 

“Crystal does have a habit of over extending herself,” Robbie said.  “In all facets of her life.” 

“I will find a goose,” Crystal threatened, waving her own bottle at the man. 

Robbie sat up, ramrod straight.  “You wouldn’t dare.” 

As the two stared one another down, Ashe leaned over to Keiko.  “I feel like I’m missing something.” 

“Robbie is terrified of the cobra chickens.  Calls them demon birds.” 

Ashe couldn’t help but snort.  Geese were indeed evil little bastards, she vividly remembered being a little kid feeding them at a park when one bit her.  She cried about it for all of thirty seconds, the little bastard retreating back to the pond only for a gator to snap it up.  Then she was laughing because the fucker deserved it. 

Actually… 

She pulled out her phone and went digging through her old pictures, pausing on one of her birth mother.  The woman had been dead for almost five years now, and the memories Ashe had of her were muddied at best due to the depression she suffered following her murder.  Worse, the man only got five years for ramming his car into the crowd of protesters.  Two others were crippled, but the charges for injuring them were to be served alongside his murder charge, so they didn’t even count. 

Less than a year until the man was free to walk the streets again. 

Shaking her head to displace those fears and worries, she kept thumbing through the old pictures and videos on her cloud storage.  She found the video she was searching for a minute later, cringing at how short her hair was at the time and how obvious it was that she was a boy in the video.  Still, it would get a reaction so she loaded it up and turned her phone around. 

“Hey, you should get a kick out of this,” Ashe said. 

All three turned to watch the video, but before she could hit play Crystal spoke up. 

“Oh my god, is that you?”  Ashe looked away, shame creeping in.  “You were so fucking cute.  Look at that lesbian cut, even at that age.” 

“Crystal, just stop,” Keiko said, cringing a bit.  “Also, I’m cutting you off.” 

Trying to get away from that subject, even as Crystal griped about having her bottle of beer taken, Ashe pressed play.  She watched her younger self laugh as a half dozen geese crowded around her, taking bread as she fed them.  Robbie hissed, then cursed in Spanish when one bit her and ran off towards the pond with the remaining bread. 

Then the gator snapped it up the moment it hit the water. 

“Holy fucking shit!” Keiko exclaimed, falling back with roaring laughter.  “Cobra got turned into a nugget.” 

Robbie nodded, a sadistic smile on his face.  “Now that was quality content.  I approve.” 

“I thought you would,” Ashe said, closing out her media app.  “It’s part of why I like gators so much.  They love karmic justice like that.”  Now that she thought of it…  “I actually have another video of an alligator, this one almost took a bite out of an asshole on a jet-ski.” 

Robbie leaned forward, his eyes sparkling with interest when his own phone rang.  The man cursed as he fished it from his pocket and grimaced.  “It’s Mercedes.”  He quickly swiped to answer the call.  “Headhunter.” 

“Prompt as always,” the woman said.  “I may have a lead on the inquiry you brought to my attention.  Are you available to meet?” 

“I might be,” he said.  “Do you need just me, or my team?” 

There was a moment of silence.  “Bring your team, we may need to move quickly.  See you at the usual address.”

“Fifteen minutes,” Robbie said, then ended the call.”  

“Ugh,” Crystal groaned.  “I won’t be much help with this leg.” 

“You can still drive for us,” he said.  “You aren’t that inebriated.” 

Rather than answer, she got up with a grunt, a bit unsteady on her leg.  “Fuck this sucks.  Can’t even get a day’s break to rest.” 

“Suck it up,” Keiko said. 

“Have some empathy,” Crystal shot back.  “Back me up on this, Ashe.” 

Ashe looked between them like a deer caught in headlights.  “Not getting in the middle of this.  I know better.” 

“Pussy,” Crystal muttered. 

Ashe bit her lip, knowing the reference would probably get her slapped, but she couldn’t resist.  “What’s that taste like?” 

Robbie immediately choked on his beer, coughing up a lung as the other girls just gaped at her.  Ashe casually took a drink from her own bottle, she didn’t care for beer, but everyone else was drinking and she didn’t want to be the odd one out.  

“We should probably gear up if we’re gonna make it on time,” Ashe said as she stood.  “Crystal, is my gun still where you left it?” 

Crystal nodded mutely and Ashe took the opportunity to make a quick exit.  She knew they kept a spare set of her gear on hand for emergencies, including the bandana and face mask.  What she did have was her Beretta, which Crystal tended to keep close at hand in the event they got the call for a job. 

Ashe was still paranoid about people figuring out who was under the mask, knowing that it would end in her death, or worse.  There was no point in making it any easier to be identified by someone that wasn’t considered trustworthy. 

“Holy shit,” Keiko started as Ashe exited the room, her voice a stage whisper.  “She actually said that!  Way to get her out of her shell.  Now, how long until you give her the answer to her questio—” 

Ashe shut the door, cutting off the conversation and she heaved out a shaky sigh as her cheeks started to burn with embarrassment and a touch of pride in herself.  Just because she wasn’t jumping into a relationship didn’t mean she couldn’t tease Crystal.

Ashe hadn’t expected to spend her evening at an old mechanic’s shop, but apparently Robbie had turned it into a sort of base for the team.  Nobody really talked about what happened to the previous owner, and Ashe knew better than to pry.  It wasn’t hard to find her little section, containing a basic AR, several red bandanas of various styles and cloth plague masks that were available for cheap.

She couldn’t deny being nervous about what Mercedes might have for them.  She knew there was a good chance that it was a lead on the traffickers, but she didn’t want to get her hopes up.  It might just be a normal job.  Even if the job amounted to nothing, it was still a chance for her to start making a name for herself and hopefully get a bit closer to the truth behind the human trafficking ring operating in Jericho. 

She tied off her bandana and double checked the shoulder holster and Beretta before returning to the living room.  Crystal was in her own ensemble, dyed hair hidden under a blue bandana while Keiko helped Robbie with some of his tackier attachments.  They were out the door shortly after that, though Crystal needed a hand getting down the steps. 

Keiko’s car was a bit cramped, but it would get them where they needed to go if nothing else, and Robbie had a new van parked somewhere discreet if they needed bigger transport.  It was a short drive from there to the agreed upon meeting place, and Mercedes was standing on the curb, two other women flanking her.  Crystal parked a bit down the road and Robbie hopped out of the passenger seat. 

“Come on, you need to be seen,” Keiko said after a moment, her own flowery mask now covering her face.  “Goes without saying, but street names only from here.” 

Ashe frowned, hopping out the van with her, the pandemic cloth mask covering her own.  “I don’t have a name yet.” 

“Congratulations Gremlin, you’ve got a placeholder,” Keiko said cheerfully.

“Hard pass,” Ashe said, getting vivid images from the second movie in her mind.  “Not just no, but fuck no.” 

“Eh, it’s just for today,” Robbie said.  “It won’t stick.” 

Ashe glared daggers at the man.  “Did you even see the second movie?” 

“Only the first,” the man admitted. 

Ashe growled in frustration, and Keiko of course was remaining tight lipped.  “They had one of the little bastards drink something that made them into a girl.  It was one of the most stereotyped shit shows since Finkle is Einhorn.” 

“So it’s the perfect cover,” Keiko said.  “Nobody would assume you’re trans if you use that name.” 

That bitch. 

Ashe grit her teeth as she followed along, stopping beside Keiko as Robbie stepped forward the rest of the way.  The two women flanking Mercedes sized him up like they were ready to fight, and for all Ashe knew, they were.  Mercedes stepped forward, a hand on each woman’s shoulder as she did.  Both took a step back, giving her the floor. 

“Headhunter, looking well,” she said with a slight incline of her head. 

“Merc,” he answered back.  “You said you had something for me?” 

She smiled, pulling an envelope from her cleavage.  Ashe tried, but failed, to not be jealous that she could do that.  “It’s all in there, or so the client said.” 

Ashe knew better than that, which meant that they were putting on a show for deniability with her two bookends.  Smart, to keep the questions to a minimum and no doubt she had any number of excuses lined up to keep the inquiries to a minimum should something splash back on her.  Ashe wasn’t quite taking notes, but it was something important to consider for if they needed to question someone, because you never knew if they were putting on a show to hide what they really knew. 

“I take it the pay is to be handled by the client?” he asked, looking inside but not removing anything.  She shrugged a single shoulder and turned back to the curb.  “Hopefully you got your cut in advance.” 

“I always do,” she said, pulling out a cigarette.  “Take care.” 

“You as well,” he answered.  “Hanabi, Gremlin, let’s go.” 

“Still hate that name,” Ashe grumbled but followed along.  

Only once they were back in the van did Robbie open the envelope and examine the contents.  He read it in silence, and as much as Ashe wanted to interrupt the man, that neither of the others were doing so told her it wouldn’t be good form if she did.  He was the team leader for a reason and she needed to respect that.  

After a moment Robbie passed the note to Crystal, muttering under his breath and pinching the bridge of his nose.  “We’re going to be paying some Patriots a visit, Mercedes found one of their holding areas.” 

Ashe’s heart jumped into her throat for a moment before it shifted to fluttering in nervous anticipation.  They had an actual lead!  Maybe she could finally start making the fuckers pay for trying to grab her, and for the girls that they did end up kidnapping. 

“We’re going to do recon tonight,” Robbie said as Crystal read the letter.  “I refuse to charge in blind.” 

“What if we see them with kidnapped women?” Ashe asked. 

Robbie sighed.  “We’re not cops, Ashe, and even if we were, they don’t rush in half cocked either.  They gather proof, scope things out, then hit the place like a strike of lighting.  SWAT raids are not fun from the other side, believe me.” 

She did.  

One perk of being her parent’s child was getting to sit in on SWAT exercises, and they were absolutely brutal in their efficiency.  The four of them couldn’t hope to replicate that, but did they need to?  She could tip off her parents to the location, let the police do the job for them, but would they actually solve the problem or would they just hit the single location months later and pat themselves on the back for a job well done? 

Just the thought of that pissed her off. 

Crystal handed the letter back, Keiko taking it as the car set into motion.  They rode in silence for several minutes, then the letter was passed to her and Ashe began to read.  Several Viuda under Mercedes reported conversations with some Iron Patriots that hired their services that indicated that girls were passing through a safehouse near a certain address.  She was surprised by how organized everything was, from the witness statements with no identifying markers of any sort to the comings and goings of the target location, which is apparently what delayed the letter, they wanted to be thorough.  

Ashe wasn’t sure she wanted to know how they got that kind of information out of the Patriots, but she wasn’t going to complain about methods if they managed results like this.  It was another example of things she would need to learn if she was going to survive the streets.  Ashe was starting to suspect that even after completing her goal of ending the trafficking ring, she wouldn’t be able to get out so easily, despite Crystal’s assurances.  She was also starting to not care if it meant she remained in a position to use her street contacts to end similar problems.

“If we need to gather information,” Ashe said, eyeing the apartment building they had just driven past.  “Why not give them a tempting target and see what shakes loose?” 

“Too risky,” Keiko said immediately.  “Besides, Crystal and I look too hardcore lesbian for these guys to actively mess with.” 

“What about depressed school girl?” Ashe asked, pulling her bandana free and slumping her shoulders.  “I was pretty dejected when those bastards nabbed me before.” 

“True, but one of your bullies put them up to it,” Crystal said.  “I’d rather not risk someone getting hurt by something stupid.” 

“Riptide’s right,” Robbie said.  “We minimize risks on this team.  I know you want vengeance on these bastards, I want to see them bleed too, but I’m not putting everyone at risk to do so.  I need assurances if you’re planning to take a risk like that.” 

Shoulders slumping, Ashe tried to not get upset that her idea had been shot down.  Keiko and Robbie were both still skeptical of her, and rightfully so.  Ashe was the daughter of cops, and hadn’t done anything to prove that she wasn’t going to flip on them.  She wanted to do something to prove that she could be useful to the team, needed to do something that showed Robbie that she could be trusted.

Ashe was suddenly struck by an incredibly stupid idea, one that if she allowed herself to dwell on would only serve to eat away at her.  “Hey Robbie, did you keep any of the tainted coke?” 

He turned, looking back into the rear of the van and met her determined gaze.  “I did, though I am hesitant to ask why you want to know.” 

Thinking back to the men sitting in front of the apartments, she felt her resolve shake before she pushed the dread to the back of her mind.  It was monstrous and cruel, but so were the people that orchestrated the entire scheme.  Did it really matter what happened to them?  Ashe was going to have to do some terrible things if she stayed on with Robbie’s crew, so why keep putting it off? 

Robbie wanted a plan, she was going to give him one.

“Get enough for one person, and be careful you don’t get exposed yourself,” she said, her heart thundering in her chest as sweat trailed down her back.  “How about a fishing trip where we play a game of catch and release?”

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