Calamity the Cursed

"Alright, this monster seems durable enough to last more than a flash. Time to actually test our strategy," Thornno said. The earlier monsters they had ran into had pretty much melted nearly right away under the team's combined assault, but monsters from this point onward would get tougher and tougher.

"Beware the tail spines," Seeker said, "It can launch them. Also poison, but Charn can take care of it and Calamity won't care regardless."

Thornno nodded. "Thanks for the warning."

Like that, Thornno and Calamity exploded into action, Thornno going first to take the blunt of the three-jawed lion-thing's crushing bites on her shield while Calamity took the other side from Thornno to also grab some attention for herself. At the same time, Seeker started conjuring traps for the tanky two to drive or lure the foe while Chainsaw conjured and launched normal-sized chainsaws while looking for an opportunity to go in with her ridiculously over-sized chainsaw and really go wild. Charn hurled a few needles with rubber tendrils but mostly stayed on watch for any injuries serious enough to require healing. And Clover merrily played away, boosting all of their combat capabilities.

The lion-thing was apparently intelligent enough to identify the actual largest threat; it revealed the hidden spines in its tail to send a storm of them at Clover, most of which Thornno caught on her already battered shield. A few stray spines caused injuries and shouts in the back-row, and Charn started beaming his heal-gun across the group. The spine-shooting stopped after Calamity quickly grabbed on tight to the tail, the foe monster instead smashing said tail into her repeatedly. Immediately, she felt Charn's quick pass of his healing beam across her, boosting her already impressive healing even more for a brief moment.

This went on for a few frenzied moments in which Calamity lost track of things a little. Things she noticed: the lion-thing picking up injuries as the fight moved over the traps, Thornno laughing with maniacal nervousness but continuing work with a fresh new shield, the pounding of the metal-like tune Clover had chosen, and then suddenly the chaos stopped. Blinking, Calamity looked for what had happened and saw that Chainsaw had ended the battle by beheading the lion-thing with her giant chainsaw.

"Fucking barbed spines," Chainsaw moaned while touching the spines that had landed in her shoulder.

"Do not touch them, let the healing take care of getting them out," Charn said as he passed the healing gun's beam back and forth over the team. "Any particularly stubborn spines I will do a quick operation on."

"So what's the story with your joutfit?" Thornno said with a chuckle to Calamity.

Indeed, as usual, Calamity was wearing all denim, though this time she had switched up from her usual jeans-and-shirt look to a denim corset and denim miniskirt but kept her denim jacket and the denim socks and shoes. Calamity looked Thornno straight in the face and said, "Denim is the objectively superior fabric."

~~~

"'Denim is the objectively superior fabric', she said! Still can't believe she said that with a straight face!" Thornno said with a chuckle, "Not that I'll gainsay her, not worth fighting over something like that."

"Yeah, we're buddies now in thinking denim is the best," Calamity said right before she once again bit a great ball of flesh and maws with her snake-tentacles, pumping it full of venom, curses, disease, and other such nastiness.

"The pact has been sealed!" Thorn grinned while driving the many spikes on her shield into the thing.

"Cannot believe you two have been joking nonstop about that for a hour," Charn said while maintaining his grip on his healing gun, "Do I really have to be the straight-man here?"

With a twinkle in her eyes while playing a upbeat pop song on her instrument which had turned from a guitar into a portable harp, Clover said, "You're the only one who doesn't think it's funny."

"Oh my gods, stop it you two!" Chainsaw kept thrashing away with her massive chainsaw, all while beset with giggles.

"I am... not unaffected by the humor of this," Seeker said quietly as shadowy things emerged from their sleeve, bearing murky poisonous secrets to the maw-ball's mouths.

"Ow!" Calamity said as the ball rolled over her, inflicting many bites. "Oh, wait, I'm fine again!" She got up, her wounds already healed.

The meaty ball rolled into a corner of the room... and just rolled to a stop.

"Eh?" Thornno said.

"...It died just like that?" Chainsaw said with a squint.

Charn looked at the maw-ball. "Expired of poison. That is what my medical senses tells me. You pack some nasty stuff, Calamity. You too, Seeker, but her venoms are just more deadly."

"Not unexpected. She is more specialized in poisons than I am," Seeker said.

"Yep, that's me!" Calamity said proudly.

"Remind me not to get bitten," Thornno joked.

Calamity giggled. "Hey, I can bite without injecting that stuff! I do it to my girlfriend all the time."

Chainsaw raises her eyebrow. "You have a girlfriend? Guess I should tone down the flirting."

"No, no, it's fine, Grace and I are in an open relationship." Calamity said.

"I'll have to verify that after we're done," Clover said.

Calamity tilted her head quizzically. "Eh?"

"I fully intend to score, assuming you and Chainsaw're both willing and your girlfriend really doesn't mind." Clover flashed a thumbs up.

"Oh, sure, I'm fine with that, the more the merrier up to a certain point where it just gets clumsy!" Calamity grinned.

"That'd be cool!" Chainsaw said.

"Hookups aside, let us complete our gathering of the treasures within this room and proceed onward," Charn said.

With a chorus of agreement, the team got moving.

~~~

"This monster is an absolute moron," Chainsaw said as she watched the marshmallowy foe pounding away on Calamity with its large fists.

Calamity flashed a thumb up while lying on her front. "Hey, that stupidity's getting me a nice back massage. Seriously, I haven't had this much tension released in a good while."

"It is indeed remarkable that our foe has not noticed how ineffectual its attacks are on our teammate, but I do wish to be home sooner or later," Charn said.

"Okay dokey!" Calamity sprung right up and took a big bite of the marshmallow monster. "Tastes sweet... Oh hey I can evolve now!"

In a flash of motion, Seeker made a sweeping motion, cutting the monster in half using something unseen.

"That's done with, looks like," Thornno observed while picking up loot.

"Damn marshmallow gumming up my chainsaw," Chainsaw muttered. "I'll stand watch over your evolution."

"Thanks!" Calamity immediately allowed herself to evolve.

Hmm... a starry version of herself influenced by having a little Beyonder in her and also hanging out with a Beyonder... Interesting but nah.

An evolution based around being really good at eating... Nope!

A version of herself with bladed tentacles... Maybe... No.

An evolution that was pretty much just more of what she was already going for, a furthering of what Evolver was now calling her Calamity Hound species. Basically more deadly venom, more nasty diseases, worse curses, and the addition of weak banefire... Yep, this was good enough.

Calamity awoke from the evolution and looked over herself. No appearance changes, not that she expected any. With a hesitant inhalation, she tried drawing on the new well of banefire within herself... and it came out with a splutter. A few tries later, she managed to exhale a small but steady puff of flames. Stopping that and then testing lighting up her claws with the sickly green flames, she nodded. "Good enough!"

Chainsaw stared. "Is that fucking banefire?"

"Yep!" Calamity said.

"Cool!" Chainsaw said.

"What's the deal with banefire?" Thornno asked.

Chainsaw gestured emphatically. "Okay, you know all that nasty shit she can put on enemies? Poison, curses, sickness, all that? Now imagine a fire that can do all that. And she can spew it all over the place."

Thornno whistled. "Damn."

Calamity said, "Did you really have to use the word 'spew' like that?"

Chainsaw grinned. "No."

~~~

"Just how many labyrinth monsters are you going to bribe with video games?" Thornno asked.

Charn finished drawing blood and smoothly put a bandage on the three-eyed hedgehog's arm. "The labyrinth is decisively lacking in stimuli aside from fighting less civilized monsters. As such, those civilized souls who chose to dwell within it tend to appreciate entertainment, and those particular video games are known to provide considerable replayablility."

"Fuck yeah I was waiting for this one," the icy hedgehog monster said. "Love the Rogue Farming series."

Charn said, "Additionally, their video consoles provide them with internet access, but many of them appreciate having games on physical media."

"Don't always have good access down here," the hedgehog said as they promptly loaded up their new video game and started playing.

"Alright, only the faintest trace signs of the Corruption," Charn said as he examined the vial of blood. "Normal for this area. I'm finished now." He tucked the vial away in his bag.

"Wait, normal for this area? Do I have some of that Corruption gunk in me?" Thornno sounded unnerved, making the warding sign of iron.

"It's everywhere, but mostly in highly insignificant amounts," Charn explained, "We in the Strange Medical Corps have been highly successful in pushing back the Corruption to a few high-concentration areas."

"Like Old Dalia?" Seeker said.

"Yes, unfortunately that city-state remains under a deep lake of Corruption despite our best efforts." Charn swung his bag onto his back.

"Between the Labyrinths and their more hostile monsters (though the more friendly ones like you folks here are a real boon to civilization), the Corruption, the Horrors, the Pestilence, the occasional Beyonder messing things up (when they aren't benign like Clover here), the Order of Emptiness, and so on, this world sure has a lot of troubles, huh. Still we're managing." Thorrno shrugged.

Clover rose from her sitting position watching the hedgehog monster play. "Most Beyonders don't really mean ill, they just... don't understand this world, which causes problems when they try to interact with it. I had my hiccups at first actually."

"Oh? I'll defer to your knowledge." Thornno summoned more metal to create a new shield which she strapped to her back.

"...It's rare but I know of one friendly Horror. They're hiding what they are." Chainsaw said.

Thornno scratched her chin. "Really? Suppose there are exceptions to everything. I know there are some sapient Pestilence folks that try and rein in their urges to go around infecting others and turning them into more Pestilence. Like the folks in Camp Green Swamp. I went there for a job, they were nice and polite folks. Avoided touching me, mind."

Charn nodded. "We have dealings with a few creatures of the Corruption, largely changed residents of Old Dalia who doesn't want what happened to their city to happen to anyone else."

"Anyways, we better prepare. We're going to be facing tougher foes from here," Seeker said.